The Return....Not Quite...

One month of “M-I-A-ness” is coming to a close pretty soon. I have VERY good reasons as to why I took a break from the social network thing. But I’ll probably be back sometime next week with the full details on the demise of Mr. Henry, the Good, Bad & Ugly of my NOLA b-day, the re-appearance of the Old Man, the disappearance of Jason, and the bit on how old flames (namely Mr. Good on paper, a.ka. Carlos) reappear.

Thanks to those who checked to make sure I wasn’t laying in a ditch somewhere between Mississippi and Louisiana.

Luv ya too!

Update: NYE, NOLA, & Randomness

Woooowwww. 2010 is already bringing out some randomness. So, I'm at home, suffering the wrath that is mi familia, wishing I could teleport myself somewhere. And guess who sends me a text??? The Old Man. The last-time he actually contacted me was about 8 months ago. So needless to say I was quite surprised. One simple line:

"I miss my kitten. Happy New Year "

The kitten, he's referring to, yep you guessed it...


Other randomness going on in no particular order:

7. Before I left, Devin & I went to The Roots concert. Good-times.

6. NYE with POW. One word. Adventure. So we really didn't have any plans. Actually, my plan was to stay home and sleep. But POW convinced me to go out. So we get out. Listen to a band, see some randomness, then get some late night breakfast. We try to leave.....and the car breaks down. Let me rephrase that. The car breaks down, on New Years Eve, and it's like 10 degrees outside....and the adventure went down from there....I'll let POW tell you the rest. I'm still trying to recover.

5. I have only been home for 4.1 days and I was ready to go on day 2.

4. I'm having a little birthday thing when I get back to the city, then I promptly leave out again for New Orleans

3. The end of Mr. Henry....he called me to assess how mad I was, by pretending nothing ever happened. Don't worry, the rest of that is coming.

2. Island Prince John called me and asked me to come visit him for Carnival.

1. The NOLA plan: So Brian lives about an hour away from NOLA. We are splitting a hotel for the weekend, so we don't have to drive back and forth. Right now, the plan is no plan. Just hang out, drink, and have fun.....T-minus 3 days to NOLA. T-minus 2 till the BIG 3-0!

Friday Night Date: Ummm How Old Are You?

How can I say this nicely...his cons definitely outweighs his pros.

My date on Friday, sigh. First let me say this. There are some disclaimers and information one should reveal about themselves within the first few conversations. I know some people will disagree with me, but, my date definitely was pulling the “don’t ask, don’t tell policy” on me on Friday.

First - I was surprised by his appearance. I mean that in the nicest way. I just simply forgot what he looked liked. I’m standing at Borders, waiting for him to appear, and I’m watching all the young attractive professionals walk by. One in particular was quite yummy. And low & behold, someone’s grandpa sneaks up behind me and gives me a hug.....oh wait, it was my date! Grant....wow, what can I say??? I’m sure he could have been a cutie in his heyday, but well right now, he was a cross between Ben Franklin & John McCain (ok, I kid, I kid....but still)...

Second - Our date started out quite early for a Friday, and it went into the wee hour of 1am. I didn’t uphold my own two-hour rule. But in my defense, it was hard, because he wanted to take me around the World D.C. to all of his favorite spots. We started off by stopping at a shop to get items that we would need for the second portion of the date (get your minds out the gutter), then we headed to at a private members only club and had drinks and dinner. He showed me around, and we talked politics, work, etc. His first surprise came at ohhh about half-way through the first bottle of wine. He has three kids. Now I’m not one to discriminate against people with children, in fact I did date the Old Man who had two sons my age. I never made an issue of it. But well Grant has three moochers teenagers who happen to live with him. Now something about all of this info coming out, after I’m pretty much stuck at dinner, is fishy. Ok, you have three kids that live with you??? Hmmmmm.

Me: So I take it you’ve been married

Grant: I’m separated

Ahhhh, the moment of truth, this old fart is still married, and is obviously living with wifey and the kids. (Separated my ass) At this point he didn’t offer up anymore information. I didn’t feel like probing him, because I already decided this will be our first & last date, and since he was obviously not going to volunteer the pertinent information needed, I had no choice but to draw my own conclusion.

Third - The thing, that bothered me the most, aside from the fact that he had three and a possible on his payroll, was the fact that he was a big fat faker. I mean, he was so fake, you look up fake, and his picture appeared in color. How so? He was flashy, he was fronting, he kept bragging. He wanted me to know that he was well off. Everything came back to his job & where he went to school at. He kept saying “this is the life”, “we are living the life of luxury”. Newsflash papa, smoking cheap cigars, and eating $15.00 dinner specials are not the life of luxury in my book. Yes, we are fortunate, but stop-it. He kept telling me how he liked the finer things in life, so I decided to pull his card.

Me: Oh, you must really travel a lot, where have you been?

Grant: Oh St. Lucia and Greece

Me: Wow, Greece? When was the last time you’ve been there

Grant: Oh about 10 years ago

Me: So that’s it?

Grant: Well, ummm I like to go skiing, and I go to Lake Tahoe. So where have you been?

Me: Ohh, I’ve been to France, Belgium, Germany, London, Jamaica, the D.R., I think Jamaica was my favorite though

The look was a Kodak moment...


Oh, wait-to top it all off. He lost major points when he told me he was a Republican...so in a nut-shell, that was my date with Ben Franklin...

Technically, It Wasn't A Date...

So I am supposed to go out tonight with this guy who has been bugging me about hanging out. I’ve been avoiding him for about a year now. See the thing is, he lives in my neighborhood. The phrase “don’t shit where you sleep” or something like that comes to mind. The fact that he lives six houses down is not sexy. No bueno. Monday, when I was leaving my place, he cornered me and asked me out again. Me being in a rush and not focusing on the task at hand agreed. Now I have to cancel.



In Other News

There was an Old Man sighting last night. I don’t think he seen me I was trying to be incognito. I know, I know. I should have just said hi, but then he’d ask me who I was with (a much younger man) and I just didn’t feel like going through the motions....so I avoided him.

The guy from the other day I still don’t know his name has been keeping in touch. Last night after hanging with some chick friends for a birthday celebration, I met him no name out.

Side Note: When the waitress asked to see his ID, I tried to do the "Oh, let me see", so I could peek at his name...didn't work

We went to the salsa spot (where I ran into the Old Man), then we went and had dessert. Things were better, but then again, I WAS on my 6th or 7th vanilla vodka and lime. At the end of the night, he dropped me off and gave me a kiss.

Just Say No

"And on the 9th day, Diva rested..."


I was going to do this earlier, then I got side tracked, then I went salsa dancing....but here's the overview of my vodka filled week. Yes week! I went out 6 days out of the last 8...

9. Island Prince called me tonight. We actually had a better conversation. His English is improving, or my French translation switch is working. I found out he no longer lives with his baby's mama, cause she high-tailed it to France, his brother had twins, and he wants to see me...in his words..."very, very soon".

8. Ummm. Brian & I hung out Monday, Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday. Yes Sunday. Although I haven't seen the movie, I feel like saying..."I can't quit you"... Oh, and he likes the flask. We put it to good use on Saturday!

7. Apparently when I drink, I give up all of the info. You can ask me anything, anything. Atleast that's what I was told on Sunday, by a guy I met Saturday night. Why is liquor the truth serum? The government needs to start a new program and give all suspected "bad guys" shots of vodka...it works like a charm. Maybe I should be the Director of the program...you know, administer the vanilla vodka shots...

6. Tony sent me the following text message on Friday - "Maybe I should keep this to myself, but I've been thinking about u in the wrong ways. U were the best sexually I ever had"...

5. I do hang with other people besides Brian. Friday night I hung with the chick friends....uhhh, I was home by midnight.

4. Thanks Tunde and Blk Bond...I did some "research"...

3. I went salsa dancing tonight with P.A.T.T. No Old Man sightings, I had a really good time. I forgot what great exercise it is! I definitely need to get back into it.

2. I'll admit, after receiving Tony's text, I thought about inviting him over to conduct some "research". But then I remembered why I had to stop dealing with him...crazy, crazy, crazy.

1. I'm going to "try" (key word: TRY) to lay low this week/weekend. It's so hard to do when you live in D.C. and there's something to do every night of the week. I'm sure my liver, kidney's and bank account will thank me for it!

The Follow-Up...

Continued...how the conversation started...

Me: The girl that you mentioned in passing, that you talked about wife-ing. You never talk about her, but you mention other girls. Why?

Brian: Probably cause our friendship isn't that serious. We don't talk about serious things. It's light. Like just cause I don't talk about her, doesn't mean I don't care about her. I talk about her with Mark.

Me: Is it because it's something that's so personal to you, you don't bring it up?

Brian: (Shrugs) You probably wouldn't believe anything I say about her, because of how you see me act with other girls, and you'd probably be like "yeah right". But your boys understand, and you don't have to explain anything.



The conversation kind of ended and we started talking about other stuff at that point. A rule I always live by is the don't ask, don't tell policy unless you really want to to know. When you do ask, be prepared for the answer & don't get mad, cause you asked. I think the thing that "bothered" me, was the whole part, re "our friendship isn't that serious".

Obviously, I looked at it differently, yeah, light and easy, but also, serious. Not in the relationship way BF/GF way, but IDK... not in the "just passing through" way either. When you spend so much time with someone, the way that we do/did, I guess I thought we were better friends... oh well. What can I say???

Moving on...


In Other News

I know, the last few posts, have been about Brian, ok a lot more than a few, but who's counting. It doesn't mean that the other guys don't exist, they just haven't existed as much... I need a new line-up...

I talked to Tony twice last week. Just conversations. He's still unemployed, still not doing much (nothing to be exact). It's sad, because he has an amazing natural talent, and he's not using it. He's waiting on bands to call him, and waiting on his "big break" but he's not marketing himself. He's not looking. Well how in the hell are they gonna find you?

The Old Man sent me a text and I didn't respond. I know we are going to eventually run into each other, cause he lives in the salsa bars, and eventually, I'm going to go salsa dancing...hmmmm

Chris & I texted back and forth a few days last week & talked on the phone once...nothing there. Like we say we are going to meet up for lunch, or sync our schedules one day. But I haven't made the effort, and neither has he. I guess the option is there if one of us wanted it...I really don't want it.

Mr. H and I are doing the same. I wonder, when will we "officially" stop.

Unsolved Mysteries

I've never had an orgasm...the Big O, the Big Shebang...I think know I've came close a few times. You know, legs shaking, feeling like I'm going to explode, then he changes positions for whatever reason, it just disappears...I have a perfectly good theory, but I won't bore you with it. I guess I was just thinking about my latest sexcapade with Mr. H. I guess more like a horizontal 400 calorie burning work-out than anything else... it was a good workout, but I digress. I'm just curious...When did you realize you had the O, or are you still waiting for it?


Why is it always the ones you don't like, aren't into, are diagnosed crazy or are dodging and going into protective custody, the one's that call on time, text you constantly and profess their love to you while peeking in your first floor apartment window show you they like you, the one's you don't want?


So now that I got Brian's gift, I've been mulling over the card, do I get one, do I make it funny or sincere? When do I give it to him, at his going away party, alone??? I'm over-analyzing it. I should just throw it in a Safeway plastic bag, and drop it off.....right?


Why is Mr. Henry all of a sudden trying to resurface, he must have gotten the memo that Brian is leaving town...guess he missed the one about Summer.


I wanted to go Salsa dancing tonight, cause I haven't been in a while due to Heroes being my main obsession on Monday nights....I do not have that thing called a DVR...but I had a 50/50 chance of running into the Old Man, and those were odds I didn't feel like gambling with tonight...

Mission Aborted

So Operation Replace Brian has been aborted. I can’t replace him. I can only get someone who is similar, maybe better (or worse), but not him. Last night we attempted to go out and just ended up at a pool hall. We chilled, drank, the normal...then it really hit me...he’s leaving. End of story. Period. Adios. Sayonara. Goodbye. He’ll be gone the next three weekends, then when he gets back, I will have just a few weeks before the plug is pulled. So to occupy the time, he somehow managed to have in my already busy schedule, I’m traveling more. New York this weekend, home the following weekend, Vegas & the Dominican this summer, and if I can squeeze another trip in to Jamaica...all the better. Maybe even a trip to see him...


In Other News:

Tool 1 & Tool 2 keep calling/texting me.

Tool 1 (James) sent a text: Hey, I haven’t heard from you since our date. How are you.
Me: Good. Busy. It’s just bad timing. Sorry

Tool 2 (JB) leaves me 5 minute messages, and sends me at the minimum three text a day. One in the morning, one in the afternoon, one at night, and a few random ones for the hell of it.

I’m thinking about just getting a new number altogether. It always seems someone calls/text from out the blue, that I don’t wanna talk to. Latino Papi Alex still sends me text messages from time to time. Tony text me last week, as well as the Old Man. POW kindly reminded me that I’ve had my number for almost 6 years...yeah, I think it’s time for a new number, although I have become quite attached to it!

A Big Deal Out Of Nothing...

“All a man has is his word, if he can’t keep his word, he’s not a man” - My Dad


So remember, awhile back I said Brian might be able to pull some strings... he came through!

I actually had nightmares (ok a nightmare) about meeting Brian’s mom a few weeks ago. I can’t remember all of the details, but I do remember how I felt in the dream, and how I felt when I woke up. After racking my brain on what to wear for what could potentially be a Test, or D-day, or the Best/Worst day of my life, I chose a simple, cute, classy sundress for the occasion (I coined it the Stepford Wife Dress), with a light sweater to cover my bare arms.

Really though, I made a big deal out of nothing. We’re friends right? I mean, guys introduce their female friends to their family & friends all the time, right? I don’t know. I guess I have a thing about people meeting my family...maybe it’s just me. Although I was nervous on the inside, I was cool, calm & collected on the outside. I remembered most of the details Brian revealed overtime. After introducing me as his friend, shaking hands with his mother & brother, and making small talk, I could finally breathe again.

Brian & his brother look nothing alike. Brian’s daughter is a cutie and Brian’s Mom reminds me of my Mom. Overall, it was a chill event/occasion/meeting....not bad.


Question: Do you introduce "friends" of the opposite sex to the parents/family? How often? Under what circumstances?


In Other News:

Mr. Henry called me yesterday to tell me he finished his favor. The other day he basically asked me to write a paper for him, and that he would pay me. After telling him off about contacting me only when he wants something, and telling him NO. I think he got it. Granted I have never wrote a paper for him, but he always manages to ask me for “favors”. I also think the lack of sexual attraction to him, makes it easier. Don’t get me wrong, he used to do things for me as well, but more times than not, I received the short end of the stick...not anymore...I really don’t have a desire to talk to him, see him, nothing.

The Old Man text me and called me yesterday too. He was “fishing” for information, and tried to find the perfect moment to bring up the fact that he’s dating someone...good for you! I could care less.

The Tool from the other day keeps texting me and called. He hasn’t gotten the hint yet.

Side Dish or Main Course?

I don’t even know where to begin. Ok, so last week, Brian was out of town. Great, right? I’d be able to catch-up on stuff, relax, stay in the house. Chill-out. Maybe catch a movie or something....yeah right! Everyday with the exception of one day, I was doing something.

Monday: Drinks & watching the NCAA game at a lounge
Tuesday: Speed Dating (no luck with that)
Wednesday: Nothing
Thursday: Happy Hour & helping my friend with an event afterwards
Friday: Dating Event & Club
Saturday: Three Bars/Clubs
Sunday: Brunch with Friends

Not to mention, throw in phone conversations here and there, and laundry...I was quite busy! In total, I met seven guys (including Danny & George), of which four already called. Operation Replace Brian, i.e. Operation New Guy is not going too bad. Out of the seven, there is one, thus far who has the most potential.

In Other News:

So Brian went home last week and to Vegas. There were a few times when I wanted to text him something funny that happened, but stopped myself...I missed him. I guess this weekend was a glimpse into what it will be like when he moves. The funny thing is, when I thought about it...before he left, we spent the last three/four weekends together. Then I really started to think about it...I only spend my weekends with guys I like or people I don’t mind being around. I ALMOST NEVER spent a Friday or Saturday night hanging with the Old Man, Mr. Henry, or Tony...almost never.

Sundays, yes. Monday-Wednesday, no problem. Thursdays maybe. But I almost always spent my Friday or Saturday with Brian or hanging with friends...

Weekdays = Side Dish
Weekends = Main Course

Three Strikes, You're Out!

Ahhh. Tomorrow is supposed to be nice outside. In honor and in preparation of the soon to be here mini skirt weather, I went running twice this week! That’s two times more than I’ve been in the last month. I also walked five miles on Monday, and plan on doing something else, to replace my former exercise of burning calories horizontally! (It’s been a minute!)

So quick update on the fellas:

Tony & Old Man - Still haven’t talked to them!!! A few people thought they wouldn’t go down easy (I won’t call you out POW!), but surprisingly, neither one has called!

Mr. Henry - Came through for me this week! About damn time. Although I had to hear him rub it in, I’m happy, I called on him to help me. Last weekend he tried to get me to come over to play “doctor meet the new nurse”, but I’m happy I didn’t give in. It’s easy to say no, when someone doesn’t do it for you anymore...real easy.


Brian (is on strike 1) -He texted me on Sunday, thereby, making entry into the silver book again. I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I really feel like he wasn’t trying to get me to come over to play tag team with him and his roommate. His roommate tried to talk to me that night, I ignored him, then I think he asked Brian to see if I would come over. Maybe I’m thinking with my rose colored glasses today, but, Brian hasn’t crossed that line before, and I never gave him any indications that I’m down with sharing....Like I said before he has had plenty of opportunities to try, especially on all those nights we leave the bar three sheets to the wind...so, I’m going to keep my eyes & ears opened...if it happens again, I will definitely say something...



Terry the Security Guard - I’ve been avoiding him. Taking the stairs when I can, getting off one floor before I reach the lobby. He caught me one day!

Terry - Hey, how have you been, I haven’t seen you

Me - Good, busy

Terry - I got a new phone, that’s why I haven’t called you. Can I get your number again?

Me - (inching my way out the building) - I’ll be right back...


That was Wednesday. This morning I forgot I was avoiding him like the Bubonic Plague, he cornered me again.


Terry- I haven’t seen you since you said you’ll be back, so it’s like that?

Me - (getting on the elevator) - No, not at all, bye!

He Took It Like A Champ

Damn, the hardest thing I had to do this year, just happened about....uhhh 5 minutes ago. It was probably harder than standing in the ring with Laila Ali...but in the end, I feel lighter... and I think he took it like a champ....I think.

I didn't necessarily want to have the conversation over the phone, but I didn't want to do it in person either. He called me around 8 something, I was busy. I called him back around 10:30p, he said he had to call me back.

The conversation took about 11 minutes...I really didn't know what to say. Although I was playing the monologue in my head all day, when it came down to it, I forgot my lines, I was like a dear caught in headlights, getting ready to be someones dinner...so it just came out...not like I rehearsed it, but none-the-less, I think he got the point.

Round 1

Me: Uhhhhhh.

Old Man: You said you needed to talk

Me: Yes, about that...

Old Man: Just spill it

Me: (in my head: "SHIT"!): Well, I've been thinking about it lately, and Sunday solidified it, I want a relationship, but I'm not sure that's something you're ready for ( just a little white lie). I know this is pretty heavy, and loaded, and we probably should've had this conversation in person, but if I didn't say it now, I wouldn't have (true)

Old Man: Well we can still have it in person.

Me: No

(Round 1 Draw)


Round 2:

Me: Are you surprised?

Old Man: No, I knew this is what it was going to be about, either us being together or us being apart, and it's timing is perfect. We've been seeing each other for awhile now, and maybe it's time to progress, you're special to me

Me: Uhhh (speechless)

(Round 2, winner by a slim margin, the Old Man)


Round 3:

Me: I need my space

Old Man: OK? you need your space?

Me: Yes, I have a lot going on, and I haven't been myself, and I do want a relationship, I'm just not sure it would be right between us. So just give me some time to sort things out

Old Man: So do you want me to call you?

Me: No, I'll call you...

(Round 3, winner by a TKO....me!) Ok, maybe not really, but, I think he got the point. I'm free at last, free at last!!!

Epiphany in the Shower

"Showers are where I come up with some of my greatest ideas." - Diva


So this morning as I was showering, I had an epiphany! I didn’t want to talk to any of the guys anymore. The guys being Mr. Henry, Tony & the Old Man. Before I lost my balls (figuratively speaking), I began making the moves. The first one on the list Tony.

Tony - Came over last night. As we were laying there having pillow talk, he asked me a question I absolutely despise. “So, why aren’t you in a relationship”. I mean I really, really hate that question. Maybe it’s the way a guy says it, or maybe it was the fact that he asked me after we fooled around, but it’s so loaded. It’s like he’s trying to figure me out or size me up. I wanted to retort, and say “cause you’re a manic depressive and I only like you for the sex”, but I didn’t. I gave him some b.s. answer and changed the subject. We talked awhile longer about him going to therapy, not working, (nor looking), and about other nonsense, then he left.

I know it’s not right, but I sent him a text this morning. 1) I knew he would be asleep, 2) I had to do it right then and there before I changed my mind 3) I wanted it to be the first thing he see’s when he gets up.


Mr. Henry was next. He doesn’t light my fire. That’s it. I like him, but I don’t wanna have sex with him anymore. I called him after I sent Tony a text.

Me: You up? Did you go to the gym?

Mr. Henry: Yeah, I woke up late, I’m gonna go tonight

Me: I decided I don’t want to have sex with you anymore because I want a relationship (lie), and I know you don’t want one (true), so I think we should just be friends. Don’t get me wrong the sex is good (not anymore), but it’s getting in the way.

Mr. Henry: You’re right, I’m not ready for that

Me: Good, but we can still be friends, ok, get ready for class, I gotta go


Last but not least...the Old Man. I called him, but I knew he was at work, and the conversation would be too loaded and he’d have a million f’n questions.

Me: Good Morning

Old Man: What? You called me? I can’t believe it, Kitten never calls me in the morning

Me: Yep, hell must have froze over

Old Man: You sound good, it is cold outside. How are you my dear?

Me: I’m good. We need to talk.

Old Man: About what?

Me: Relationships, us. I know you are at work, so tonight ok?

Old Man: Do you want to come to my place?

Me: No.

Old Man: Why?

Me: Because I don’t.



So that’s it, in a nutshell. No more romping with Tony or Mr. H, no more dating the Old Man. Just tired of them... In other news, I may be going on a date tonight with someone new...we’ll see how I feel.

Monsters, Drinks, & No Hangovers: The Weekend In Review

Friday Night

Sometimes I wonder when am I going to get tired of partying. I hung out Friday night. I mean REALLY hung out. I Started at 6pm with happy hour free drinks, that you can't turn down, because well it's FREE. Met a few people out, but no one could hang like Brian & I. We went to three spots, yep three!

And of course we were up to our usual antics of clowning around. Everything from dancing in a burger place, while wearing a crown on my head, to telling people he was my brother...there goes any possibility of us having sex, cause it would be like incest now, right... but we had soooo much fun, we did it all!!!

The next morning he sends me a text:

“I’m gonna kick ur ass”

I call him.

Me: No you’re not sucka, what’s up

Brian: You let me go home with a Monster last night

Me: (ROTFL) Ha! No I didn’t. I told you I was leaving, I told you she wasn't cute, you didn’t want to go. Did you wake up and want to gnaw your arm off for the fear of waking her?
(Disclaimer: I'm sure the girl is nice, but I knew he'd be mad in the morning!!!)

Brian: Damn, I thought of that too, yes...

Me: Well we're even!
(Long story, re Tony hearing Brian in the backgound on our way to the second club, thought I was on a date... yes I called him, but it was the alcohol...)


Saturday

Was pretty much a bust. I was still tired and worn out from Friday. I told Tony, Jailbird, and Mr. Henry I would hang with them, but called none of the above, until like 1am.


Sunday

Was so nice outside, I wanted to just bask in the sunshine and warmth all day. I hung with the Old Man.

SIDE NOTE: I’ve been doing the slow fade with him, because I have a HARD TIME having the “I don’t want to see you anymore talk”. So I don’t answer his calls or text messages as much anymore and I no longer see him like 3 days a week, like we used to.

We went to the movies, walked the streets of Georgetown, then we went to dinner (Another side note: I paid for the movie snacks and half of dinner, but he was like “are you sure”?). He was ok, but a little annoying. To celebrate the warmth, I wore a mini skirt, button down, and boots, not really summer or winter wear, but somewhere in-between. He kept trying to feel my legs up. I had to smack him each time his hands got anywhere near em’. He’s super duper touchy feely, but in a way, that’s annoying. Kind of like, a fly that harasses you all day, and you just want to swat it and squash it, until it flies no more.

He told me that I’m acting different....“ya think”. I told him he was annoying and he annoyed me. He thought it was funny, but I was telling the truth!

The Thrill Is Gone

I’m bored with the guys again. Brian and I determined that we probably have ADD. A few times when we were in Jamaica, when we were forced to sit for long periods of time, we became bored, hyper, thrill seekers. These guys, I swear, are just BLAH sometimes. Case in point, the Old Man. Monday, he invited me over for music, snacks and games. He kept asking me what I wanted, since he’s a vegetarian. I told him to be creative, to pick up some things, I’m not that picky. Well he bugged the F out of me, until I sent him a list. You would think after a year of hanging out, he’d get it.


Here’s a summary of what’s going on lately.


Old Man - So last week we went to dinner. Mind you, I was still a little jet-lagged, happy, and nostalgic about my good times in Jamaica, so I was pretty chill. Just going with the flow. The Old Man picked the restaurant, a vegetarian Indian place downtown. I’m not a vegetarian, but whatever, I love Indian food, so I was cool. The bill comes. He looks at me. I tell him to take care of it this time, and I’ll get it later. He then says, he “took care of it last time”. WHAT??? Are you F’n serious? I then, nicely point out I took care of the movies that same night and that it was his idea to go to dinner, he chose the place, and I just got back in town and couldn’t do it. He makes a BIG production out of it. He puts his glasses on, lays the bill on the table, asks me if I want to see it.

Me: No

Old Man: You don’t want to see the bill?

Me: No. I’m not paying for it, you are. I’d leave a tip but I don’t have enough cash on me. I told you, I’d take care of it next time.


He left a bad taste in my mouth. When it comes to paying for things, he always tries to show me the receipt and make a big production of something, as if to say “See how much money I am spending”. When I pay for something, I give them my debit card, I never tell him (or anyone) how much it is. End of story. When we go out, I pick the bill up about 30-40% of the time. But the 60% of the time he does it, he makes a gigantic F’n deal out of it.

I hate that.

When I hung out with him Monday, things weren’t THAT bad. We had a good time, but I've been thinking a lot lately about how to end it. It's not him. He hasn't changed. I've seen the "Light". I don't want a future with him, and I'm bored/tired of what we are doing now. Nothing. Everything's the same. No surprises with him. Boring, monotonous, someone just shoot me now, I'd have more fun at the hospital!!!


Tony - Tony is .... “unbalanced”. He’s on medication, I think. At least that’s what he said awhile ago. Maybe he’s off his meds, which is code for “it’s time for ME to exit the train”. Saturday night was good. We spent time with each other. Sunday morning, we laid around. I fixed him breakfast. He complains, that he only eats egg whites. WTF??? He doesn’t eat meat, he doesn’t eat chicken, he doesn’t eat flour, therefore he doesn’t eat bread or crackers, he doesn’t drink milk, or eat dairy products. He says, he has a sensitive stomach...Damn Pansy. So whatever. He eats it. Loves it. I have a morning appointment to get to, so I shower, then we leave. That night he calls me, I didn’t hear my phone. When I checked it and called him back, he answered. He sounded stressed or something, and says he’ll call me back. I don’t hear from him.

Monday I called him to see if he’s ok.

Tony: I’m just going through some things. I’m going to get back into therapy.

Me: What’s wrong?

Tony: Well I can’t really talk about it right now, but we’ll talk later

It’s time to put him to rest. Adios Tony. Adios.



Brian - Just friends. So I had to get a guys perspective on Brian...more importantly a guy who is similar to Brian and is the male version of me. My best guy Chuck. Gotta love him. Stopped me from being the "girl" and helps me when I get in a tough situation...the solution, from page 121 of the manual. Brian and I are "Just Friends". Maybe years down the line, when we stop telling each other about our sexual conquests. But for now, he’s in my Friend Box, and I’m in his.

Close Call

I was scared shitless. Tony spent the night last night. We did the usual, attempt to watch a movie, horizontal dance, talk...then he asked to look something up on You Tube. Now normally, I'm not over protective of my laptop, but well...let's see. All he had to do was push the dropdown button, and all of my LITTLE DIRTY SECRETS would be aired...including my blog.

He kept telling me I looked tired, and I should lay down & go to sleep. All I could do, was peep over his shoulder...although my eyes were clearly drooping. I finally got him to give up his search for whatever drummer he was looking for & to come to bed. Whew. Close Call!

I never thought about what I would do if one of the guys found my blog. Mr. Henry, the Old Man & Brian know I have A blog...but they don't know what exactly it is, or how to find it, or that I blog about THEM. Awhile ago, pre-Jamaica, I thought about sending the link to Brian, but changed my mind because I like having the anonymity, and it's my outlet. Recently I thought about sending it to Brian, but then caught feelings, and decided against it.

Damn, I have to be on my P's & Q's now. Looks like I'll be deleting the history of recent sites visited more often!!!

T-minus 6 Hours

I had the arduous task of packing this evening. No seeing guys, one conversation and a fully packed suitcase later, I realize that this time tomorrow night I'll be in Jamaica. It was a hard decision. I kept mulling it over all weekend on whether I should go home or go on the trip. It really wasn't easy, because I felt guilty...but after much contemplation and reviewing the finances, I opted to continue with my plans...

So here I am sitting, and thinking. Should I make any last minute phone calls? Mr. Henry called me to wish me a safe journey and the Old Man called this morning with his usual wake-up call, but I haven't spoken to Tony.

Hmmmm.

Superbowl Sunday, Not So Super

I used to follow sports and was a huge sports fan, however I wasn’t really excited about the Superbowl, so I didn’t do the typical “superbowl” things of preparing snacks, food, etc. Besides, I was tired from spending the night/morning with Mr. Henry. Saturday night, the Old man and I agreed on him coming over at 5:45p to watch the Superbowl. A few things that irked me:

He didn’t call me at all to confirm
I called him a few times and his phone went straight to voicemail
He calls me at 6pm telling me he’s down the street
He comes in, and knows I’m upset with him, and still tries to hug me and lay up under me
He knocks over my drink within 5 minutes of being in my place

I didn’t fix dinner as promised, and was a bit “icy” towards him. I don’t know what it is, but I don’t like/want him to come over. He’s 56, but when he gets to my place, you would think he was 16. It’s like he’s so excited to be there, that he doesn’t know what to do. It reminds me of a puppy/6 year old kid/senile Old Man, all wrapped up into one pint sized body.

He did a lot of things that irked me. The more he did, the worse my ‘attitude” got. I mean come the fuck on. At first I couldn’t put my finger on it about him last night. Then it hit me...he’s not MANLY enough, he lacks that “swagger” or “it” factor. For example. I offer him something to drink, he declines. Ok. No big deal. When he called me at 6, to say he was on his way, I told him I hadn’t heard from him, and that I am not fixing anything. He says no problem, he’s not hungry. Well when I make me something and eat it, he doesn’t say anything. I ask him again if he wants something. He says no. About 30 minutes later, he asks me if I have any tylenol or aspirin because he has a headache from hunger.

Me: I asked you if you wanted something to eat

Old Man: Well I don’t know what you have.

Me: You said no.

I give him a packet of Advil. He whines, and asks me to open it for him, he can’t open it. I retort, “no, man-up and open it yourself”. I go to the kitchen and fix him something.

I try to watch the rest of the game in peace, but he keeps making little whiny noises so that I will look at him, and ask him what’s wrong. I don’t. I don’t coddle men, and baby them. And he is no exception.


So last night here were other cons I thought about:

He’s too F’n whiny
He’s too small for me (he’s like 5’4 and a buck thirty)
No sex appeal
No confidence
Doesn’t make me feel like he could protect me

Unexpected Saturday Surprises

Uptown

Just when I was intent on making it a “Diva” weekend, a few wrenches were thrown in for good measure. Saturday, I’m out, running errands, I check my phone and notice I have two missed calls from Mr. Henry. I call him back, he wants to go out, mind you I had plans to go to the club with the Old Man, which I planned on cancelling anyways...so I tell Mr. Henry, we can go clubbing. I cancel with the Old man, and he meets me out for dinner instead. After dinner, the Old Man is not ready to go home.

Old Man: So I brought some music with me, we can go back to your place and listen to it.

Me: (Laughing) Uhhh, no.

Old Man: Why not?

Me: You can’t come over, it’s too late.

Old Man: It’s only 10:15, I won’t stay long, I want to show you my experience.

Me: (cracking the F up) No. You can’t come over. It’s too late, you’re not going to want to leave.

Old Man: Do you have to get up early in the morning or something.

Me: No

I didn’t give him an explanation, not that I have to, but I never let him come over after 10pm with the exception of my b-day. I told him I’ll see him Sunday for the Super bowl, and he can come over then, at a decent time and I'll make dinner. He was disappointed, but accepted the invite. He ended up going Salsa dancing instead.

Downtown

I met Mr. Henry downtown around 11:15pm. This was our FIRST time seeing each other since October. We greet each other, and he gives me a compliment. We sit in my truck and talk for awhile. I tell him, before this goes any further, he needs to apologize to me. I go on to explain why I was mad at him, and how I felt that he should have came through for me as a friend. We talk about it in dept. At this point I’m ready to shoot pool. We go to a couple of places without any luck.

Then, somehow, we end up at the strip club. After the strip club, I tell him I’ll drop him off at the Metro. By this time it’s 1:20a, the Metro is still running. I know he doesn’t want to go home because he finds an excuse to come to my place. When we get to my place, we watch TV for a bit, and talk, then I make the couch up for him and he looks at me like I’m delusional.

Me: Goodnight dude

He's sitting on the couch, and I'm standing over him. He grabs me and kisses my stomach and back, his kisses are getting lower and lower. He tries to pull my shorts down. I pull away.

Me: No. Don’t think you’re going to come over here after all of this time and get some. We aren’t on that level.

Mr. Henry: Ok, sit down lets talk.


We talk and watch TV a little bit more, and he begins rubbing my feet, then somehow I wake up in the morning, and Mr. Henry is next to me.

The Talk....Again

The Old man and I FINALLY had the dreaded, ball and chain, “where is this relationship going, what do you want from me, I hope it’s not sex talk”. And guess what? It was great. Yep, never thought I’d use the Old Man and great in the same paragraph, but we are on the SAME PAGE. I told him how IF ( a big IF) we were to be in a serious relationship in the future he would have to give a little more, i.e., I feel like we do a lot of things he likes to do, but we don’t do things I like to do. He asked for examples. I had a list. I DO ask him to do things I KNOW he’s not into, knowing he’s going to say no (i.e. hip hop clubs). That way, he can never say I didn’t invite him. Then some of it’s a test. I asked him to come to a game night party with me at a friend’s place. Instead he went Salsa Dancing. I asked him to hang out with my friends & Aunts at a club during Inauguration weekend...he said he thought I may want to spend time with my family, so he went Salsa Dancing. So that being said, I think (KNOW) we are seeing other people, and he doesn’t want a serious commitment just as much as I don’t want one. The GREAT thing about it, is he didn’t bring up SEX!

Me: What Do you Want From Me?

Old Man: What do I want from you?

Me: Yes.

Old Man: Well I’m already getting everything I want from you and more

Me: (shocked and amazed) Really???

Old Man: Yes.

Me: Well I know a lot of our relationship is in a grey area, and that’s mostly my fault because I don’t know what I want. Sometimes I think I want a relationship, then other times I don’t. So I’m sorry if it’s grey and not black and white with me.

Old Man: It’s not all you. I think it’s 50/50.

Old Man: What do you see in me? Why are you with me?
Me:

Old Man: helloooooo

Me: uhhhh, what was the question again?

Old Man: Why are you with me?

Me: We’ve had this conversation before. I told you I like how you treat me, and your respect for me. You’ve exposed me to new things, some of which I liked. You’re always upbeat and happy, and we have a good time together.

Old Man: So this was good. Things are good right now. Nothing needs to change. It’s good to have these talks every now and then to make sure we are on the same page. So a few months from now, we can reassess it.

Me: Like a year from now!

So it’s all done and complete. Just what I thought. No expectations, no strings, NO SEX. Wooo Hoo!!!