No Longer A Functioning Alcoholic...But He's A Pothead

I am no longer a functioning alcoholic...

Yep, that’s right. Today makes day 27 of no vodka, no wine, beer, or other adult beverages. The shakes have subsided, and I can actually sleep throughout the night. (#noinsomnia) The month of January I consumed so much alcohol I became immune. Literally. Which made me think, maybe I had a borderline drinking problem. Aside from consuming ungodly amounts of wine and vodka shots without getting a slight buzz, I had an epiphany; I do not want to look 59, when I am 40, the extra calories negate my workouts, and my tolerance was so high, that I was basically wasting money on the good stuff.

Don’t get me wrong, I miss vodka, and I miss my nightly glass of Shiraz, but now it’s kind of a mind over matter thing. Like can I really go without alcohol for 40 days, 40 nights? I am close. I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

In other news, this weekend I went out with one of the schoolboys Donny. It was ok, well it wasn’t super exciting or anything. I mean, he threw me off when he decided he wanted to light up (aka smoke mary jane) before our “date”. I mean, I don’t judge, but you mean to tell me it’s 1pm in the afternoon, we are in broad daylight where everyone can see, and you pull out a pipe and greenery because you “need a buzz”. So that was kinda strike #1 in that it turned me off.

Yes, I’ve dated guys in the past that have lit-up, hell Klein even shot-gunned me, but that was after the pleasantries, well into our “relationship” in the privacy of our home. Not in the middle of the day, steps away from cops, children and old people. And I know I can’t talk, because I used to partake in vodka, like it was iced water. But I wasn’t that bad. Like I didn’t have a pint hidden in the console of my car. I only took my flask out for special occasions at nighttime, unless I was on vacation...so I could not really understand his need to light up during brunch hours, not to mention, I think we were parked near one of those Big Brother cameras...

So, after the “date” he decides he wants to go to the library to study. I’m like well, I do need to see if they have this book for class. Before we get there, we stop and get food. So we get there, they don’t have the book. I decide to leave.

(Side Note: I studied all week, and just came off a stressful week of work and school, so I really didn’t want to study anyways. End Side Note)

Donny: well can’t you read some other books

Me: no, we have specific books

Donny: well you can study some other stuff

Me: hmmm, nope, I pretty have everything I need except that book, and all of my stuff is at home, so it’s pointless for me to stay

Donny: well what are you going to do?

Me: go home.

We hug. I leave. That’s It.

Rum, Revelations & Relationships

I’m back from vacay...relaxed, kissed by the sun, and ready to get the year started off right! A little over a week ago, I celebrated my 31st birthday in the Dominican. Between drinking Mamajuana’s and laying on the beach, I began to contemplate what I want this year in terms of well - everything. On my b-day I received like 20 missed happy bday text messages, from guys from the past (Klein, Old Man) and guys from a possible future (Donny & Damien )


With school getting back underway, I’m not 100% sure I want to get into anything too hot and heavy. Yet, I’m kinda ready to take another stab at the R-word. Hours after my arrival back stateside, I spoke with friends, fam & Klein. We haven’t spoken or seen each other in well over two-months. I told him I was kinda suprised he remember it is was “mi cumpleanos”. We caught up, he made a couple of flirtatious remarks...then I decided to causually ask about the chick I ran into him with. He confirmed it’s his latest main squeeze. He went on to tell me she’s a lot like me. Like ALOT. It’s kinda weird, why would you date someone “just like me”? After I got off the phone, it had me thinking...do I miss him, or the idea of him?


Mr. Henry missed me. A LOT. He wanted to see my sun-kissed skin. He pulled out all the stops. Massages. Kisses... and well...more attention than normal. He had the key to my place for two-weeks. I asked him about it once...he sort of “forgot” to give it back. Then I made it cyrstal clear on where he needs to leave it. He knows where I hide it though. In determining my future, I have to decide whether I am going to allow him to contiune playing house with me. I guess I have to sit down and dig deep, and stop playing the fence.


I met some other randoms over the last two-weeks. All of them under 25. I should be flattered, that they think I’m 23 pushing 24. But I’m kinda over the young’uns after my experience with Klein. Speaking of which, something funny with one of them happened this weekend. I think PATT & her new bf are slyly trying to set me up with her bf’s friend. A huge group of us went out this weekend (including schoolboy Donny) and PATT & her bf tried to make sure me & the friend played together...a lot. After the party, Donny went home, while the rest of us partook in the early sober-up breakfast fare. Afterwards PATT, her bf, & “the friend” stayed at my place. I woke up to him at the foot of my bed...he was a perfect gentelman (and I made it clear that if he so much as took his jeans or shirt off I was going to cause bodily harm). The next day I went out to her bf’s place for dinner & they conviently invited “the friend”. Oh & by the way, “the friend” is cute...but he’s 24.


After dinner, I fought icy roads to get back to the city to pick up Mr. H at the Metro. He came back to my place. He asked me how my time out with PATT was...I did not tell him about the impromptu sleepover he would have gotten the wrong idea and flipped the fuck out. We have to have a serious talk...

2010 In Review

2010 was quite memorable. From Brian to Klein, Klein to Jason, Mr. H to school, and some new playmates in the form of guys in class, I had quite a year. I know I’ve been MIA, so I will do the year in review in one post.




1st Part of 2010 in

Went to N.O. after receiving the invite from Brian…remember that? Anyways, after deleting his number, and attempting to erase him from all things Diva, he still texts me from time to time. Speaking of which, he texted last night, to talk shit about my team losing their bowl game…random & out the blue.



After his demise, Mr. H reappeared, but I locked my muffin, and was pretty good at keeping it away from him for 10-months!

I went on a few dates, you know, the guy that was trying to get his green card. Then, I met the young one we affectionately (or not) know as Klein. We actually tried the boyfriend/girlfriend thing against my better judgment. Blame it on the vodka zapping my brain cells…or at that time, his sweetheart ways, until he started acting crazy. We had some memorable moments. Remember the “peanut butter & jelly” debacle? That was interesting. But then we also had quite a few arguments. And after a few months of dating we dealt with family issues and I subsequently had to break it off, after getting frustrated with his mood swings. Oh and then there was that one incident…that was closure on his part.



2nd Part of 2010

After reclaiming my single & sexy card, I traded it in for a student ID and started grad school. I slowed down on the drinking and hanging, and instead focused on trying to do well during my 1st semester of the ball & chain, in the form of papers and books.



In-between class, I got super horny, and decided to take a walk on the wild side with Jason. The former friend, who I pretty much only went on movie dates with. You know, the guy who thinks Midori Sours are strong. After the romp, I was quite disappointed. I tried once more, to see if it was the alcohol or him. It was him. We still talk from time to time. A few days ago, he asked me out to dinner. Dinner is too personal, is what I tried to explain to POW, I really wish I could make myself like him, but the sexual chemistry is just not there.

You know who lost the sexual chemistry in 2010? Mr. H. I know, I know, after 11 years of on & off-ness, and sex and no sex. I finally feel like it’s not there anymore. So after hiding my muffin from him for most of the year, he wore me down, and quite frankly after having a bad romp, and no sex for months, he didn’t have to keep trying as hard as he was earlier. So we messed the sheets up about 5 or 6 times after our hiatus. And I felt nothing. Yes, I realize it took me five or six times of trying it out, but the last time we messed the sheets up, I was laying there, looking at the ceiling, trying to move his head where I wanted, and it just wasn’t working. I even tried thinking about someone else. So since then we have hung, but I’m 100% sure, we are done. No more freaky sex, and quite frankly I’m cool with that, because he has some kinky fetishes his fetishes were starting to get weird.


While I was focusing on the books, I met two guys in my program. Right now they are just peers, but I have hung with them during break, and outside of the classroom. Let’s start with “Donny”, he asked me for my number towards the middle of the semester. We went out once alone, and once together with other classmates. We talk and communicate quite often, and have plans to hang soon again. He’s cool, pretty laid back, interesting. Then there is “Damien”, we recently hung out at a concert with some of his friends. Right now, I definitely think he would be a cool “classmate” to hang out with from time to time, but nothing beyond that. With Donny though, the chemistry is a bit different. In any case, I’m just hanging out, nothing serious, nothing weird, as we are 1) classmates, and 2) in a small program. So friends only is fine with me. Strictly friends.

So 2010 was full of dating & not dating, make ups and make-out sessions, a new start with school, and more trips & vacays. In addition to plenty of libations, and hanging with the chick friends and others 2010 was a pretty good year.


So now that I’m back from my blog vacay, I’m ready to stay focused and of course have fun in 2011. To get the year started off right, I’m on my way to the Caribbean for my 1st vacation of the year. Sun, sand and beaches in less than 96 hours!!!



Missed you guys! Happy New Year,

Love Diva