Monday, August 31, 2009

Weekend Update: Wedding Bells The Partial Review

Saturday Night
6 almost 7 glasses of wine
A glass of champagne

DC is getting smaller and smaller. Granted my circle is pretty diverse and I often go to “new” and different events, places and hang out with different people. But I still manage to run into the same people. Case in point. Guess who I ran into on Thursday...Akeem. Ring a bell??? Actually this isn’t my first time running into him, since the infamous “non-date”. I’ve ran into him a few times. Once I didn’t recognize him because he changed his look completely. No, he didn’t do a Michael Jackson, but it was almost akin to an “Extreme Makeover”. I will give it to him though, he looked good pre and post-extreme makeover.

So I ran into him AGAIN this weekend. The only reason, I’m blogging about this run in, is because it was more than a “hi, how are you”. Thursday night we ended up leaving the bar, going to another bar, and I gave him a ride to his humble abode. Upon departure, he gave me a hug, that was a cross between “good to see you and wish you would come up”.

Now Saturday, here's where the shit get's interesting. But before I go into the details of Saturday late night, I have a confession, well not really, cause the news broke on twitter first. I went to a wedding with Mr. Henry. (pause) In my defense, the wedding was of a former client, so I didn't want to go solo. Had it been friends or family, I wouldn't mind. But to sit through a boring wedding and reception without a side-kick, is the equivalent of torture in time-out, in the corner, and by the way the wedding WAS boring.

So going with Mr. Henry made it somewhat bearable. No we aren't falling back into old habits, well atleast I'm trying not to. We talked and caught up, but I would say 64% of the time I zoned out & was in my own world. Can't help it, sometimes he talked about stuff I didn't feel like listening to. I got a text from Akeem during the reception, asking me what I was doing. I told him about my plans to chill because I was at a wedding. So after the reception, I drop Mr. H at the Metro and make my way to what was supposed to be a chill lounge. Some other friends were meeting me there, as well as Akeem.

I get there and it's crowded. Cool but crowded. So my friends make it, and introductions go around. I notice at some point Akeem and one of my friends are sitting EXTREMELY close together, heads bowed in deep conversation...

To Be Continued.... I'm on my second drink and am tired! Yeah, yeah...sue me.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Like Attracts Like

I like controversy, rather articles that make you think? You can agree to disagree, but my political advisor (I like that!) allowed me to write another article on his blog over at I love the fact that he (Kevin) is allowing me to grace his page. Check it out & start the commentary!!


Wednesday, August 26, 2009

A Witness Comes Forward...

Oh, Diva, Diva, Diva….

How do I love thee, let me count the ways…’ve grown into a beautiful, charming, young woman. Perhaps all those vanilla vodkas have blurred a few memories from the past.

I am one of Diva’s college roommates the one who has lived with her the longest and the one, who has settled down, got married, has the two kids, and lives in suburbia. Yes, yes, I do sound boring now and live vicariously through the trials and tribulations of Mz. Diva but I can still cause trouble if deemed needed. I don’t have a fun acronym like PATT or POW, but my feelings aren’t hurt Beeotch much!

Top 5 things I remember from our past…

5. That southern accent! Goodness, when we met it was mighty T H I C K. We used to make her say “iron” all the time because it sounded like “I-on”. I wonder if she’ll share the story about the difference between “hurry up” and “harry up”. Bwahahahahahaha

4. The nakedness….this girl loves to be naked! Don’t let P.O.W. fool you by saying this girl is naked only after drinks because if this child had it her way she’d be naked before happy hour! In our dorm room there have been plenty of times when I’ve woken up with Diva handing the phone to me stark naked.

3. I’ll preface this by saying… "WE WERE NOT GROUPIES”! We did however know a few players on our schools football and basketball team. There was one incident when we ran into a few football players at the local strip club because we were “dared” to go in and ask for a job. Then there was a brief stalker infatuation with a basketball player, Mr. P. Do you still have his YMCA card?

2. She is a “dirty" LOUD mouth talker !!! You can use your imagination on this one, what you’re thinkin’ is what this woman is sayin’. I’ve actually had to leave the HOUSE once or twice.

1. Our threesome! Ok, not really, but let me say being a Wing-woman is hard! Especially when the guy has stank breath and drinks your beer out of your cup. (I could’ve killed him!!!)

There are plenty of other stories that I do have pictures of...Galveston, TX, men washing your feet and sucking your toes, riding motorcycles, being underage and sneaking into clubs. Don’t tempt me; I’ll scan that picture of you wearing underwear as a bikini!


Friday, August 21, 2009

One Year Anniversary - The Rebuttal

Ok, first let me preface this with “P.O.W. I love you”, but I think you’ve been drinking on the job again! Or maybe you have selective amnesia. In any case, there are good reasons the secrets debauchery you decided to reveal. Case in point, with:

#5. Ummm, I plead the 5th, unless you have pictures of said crime and furthermore I was stressed. The name we shall not mention had me stressed, college life had me stressed, so ok...I consumed like two Boonesfarm's and washed it down with Lord knows what. Why in the hell did you and Breezy let me get on top of my car??? Actually, come to think of it, where were you guys? I don’t recall. In any case that night was pretty fun! And you know what, the roof popped back into place perfectly the next day. So case solved & closed!

Oh but with - #4. I needed some fresh air, so I decided to go outside. And in my defense I was only naked under my blanket. I think you, Chuck & his friend pulled it off as I was clutching it for dear life. But at least I wasn’t the one doing cartwheels down the street naked!

And why, oh why in - #3 Did you bring up the name we shall not mention. The mere thought of him makes me want to puke. I still don’t know why that asshole rented a TV, but he couldn’t go half on food, rent, glad he got the boot and jail time

Yes #2 from what I recall was lots and lots of fun. But I don’t recall breaking my table or destroying the bathroom. Do you have evidence. Nope? Ok, then it didn’t happen!

Oh boy, I didn’t see the kiss in #1 coming. It was kinda like a “goodnight kiss” or a “birthday kiss” in any case he was a gentleman and didn’t push the envelope too much more. And as for the whole two guys in one bed. I blogged about it. Remember???

Yes, I can’t wait for Vegas either! I started mentally packing this morning!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

One Year Anniversary - The Take Over

Introducing P.O.W…..

For those of you that do not know me, I am P.O.W, Diva’s BFF. I want to take this opportunity to thank you, Diva, for being such a caring, giving, loving and understanding BFF. I don’t think I could have made it this far without you.

Anyway, I am taking over Diva’s Blogspot to celebrate her One Year Blogoversary. Yes, can you believe it? It has been one year since Diva first graced us with her witty commentary and horrid dates. This year has been filled with highs, lows, smiles, cries, joys and toolery. We all have our favorite Diva moments, but I’m going to share some moments Diva did not share with you….and Diva you better post them. DO NOT EDIT!!!!!

P.O.W.’s Top Five Most Memorable Diva Moments

5. August 2001, Divaland University, The Case of the Vandalized Car

Diva got extremely inebriated and danced on the roof of her car at a neighborhood block party. The next morning she is screaming and yelling about somebody vandalizing her car. We politely told her "you did it, don't you remember"? To this day, she still doesn’t believe she was the cause of the butt print indent in her roof.

Oh yeah, and I think we made up a drunk song that night!

4. July 2001 Detroit, MI, Happy Birthday to Me!!!

There was a lot of debauchery going on for my 21st birthday. After playing truth or dare, and tons of Bacardi, I can’t find Diva so I go looking for her. She’s on the porch, "buckkid nekkid". Why? I don’t know. You have to ask her that question, but also remember I woke up at 7am looking for the liquor trying to erase the memory of the sins from the night before.

3. October 2001 Divaland University, Three Strikes You’re Out

Diva has an ex-boyfriend whose name we shall not mention. We all have a relationship that we would rather forget, a momentary lapse in judgment. This guy was Diva’s lapse. Diva and I lived in a town house with another roommate, I’ll call her Breezy. “The name we shall not mention” moved in with us (1st strike). He didn’t have a job (2nd strike). He had a big screen TV that he rented from Rent-a-Center (how & why I don't know) we kept in the living room. One day while Diva was at work, Breezy and I were watching TV. TNWSNM came in and turned the channel (3rd strike). He made a big deal about it being HIS television. Breezy politely unplugged the TV and pushed all 52’ inches on to the patio. She told him to see how well he watched his TV on the corner.

I don't remember what happened after that, but this was the same guy Diva & Breezy tried to collect the "reward" money on a month or so later. Rightfully so, I might add!

2. September 2008, Washington D.C. - Sour Sauce

Diva and I went on a double date with Island Prince and his friend Willard. It was a beautiful date with lots of food, liquor, and dancing. Anytime liquor is involved, we either don’t remember or wish we couldn’t remember what happened the next day. This time was no exception.

Somehow, Diva’s bedside table got broke and her bathroom was destroyed *cough islandprince&diva cough*. It must have been an incredible evening because the boys woke up the next day cooking and cleaning!

1. Later, September 2008, NYC - Smooches

Diva spends the evening with Island Prince in New York. That night IP’s brother kisses her. She wakes up with two men in her bed….I’ll let her tell the rest

Love ya Diva!!!! Can't wait for Vegas...


Tuesday, August 18, 2009

36 Hours in Boston, Semi-Date, Convo's With Brian

I'm drinking and blogging. The two don't mix, but I need to give my updates.

Made it back from Boston in one piece. Boston, Boston. I didn't see much of it. More on that tomorrow. What I really want to blog about is my conversation with Brian. Ummm. We talked for a lil over thirty minutes. I called him. We talked about Vegas, things to do there, and how he just brought his ticket to go home that weekend. My trip to Boston, N.O., his birthday, my birthday (he extended an invite to N.O. if I don't do Cancun, said I would like it) his new drinking buddy (the flask), other upcoming things.

(Side Note: I had two margarita's & a homemade vodka, lemon juice & peach schnapps, I hope I don't read this tomorrow & be like WTF: End Side Note)

Here are our e-mail exchanges from last week (uneditied):

E-mail (Diva to Brian)

No e-mail, no call, text, flair messages??? You suck ass, ass munch... How are you?

E-Mail (Brian to Diva)

My bad! How are you?? I did think of texting you to let you know the flask has become my new road buddy. Meaning fillinf her up and making drinks in N.O before I go out. So how was DC when all my Bruhs were there?

Response (Diva to Brian)

I'm cool. I'm going to Boston on Friday. I went out to one of your sponsored events (Bruhs) one night, but for the most part I did other stuff. Went to Z-bar one night...those dudes are aggressive. Someone tried to lick my face...eeewwww I applied for a couple of International gigs. One is a 9-month assignment in Africa, Jamaica, Asia, Mexico or Brazil the other is a 5 week volunteer thing, the thing I told you about! In any case cross your fingers for me!

I think you should name your new flask?

Have you met any cool peeps to hang with?

If you wanna join me & my BFF in Vegas, the offer is still opened. The 3rd-6th of September. Party like a rock star!!! (well atleast I plan on it, you know how I roll)

Response (Brian to Diva)

FUCK I so forgot abt the Vegas trip. I so Could of gone bc I am going home during that time;-( Well party for me. Yes, my Bruhs can be a hand full at times. I hope things work out for you and maybe you will get the Jamaica one ;-) I know how you like that place.

In Other News
I went on a semi-date yesterday. We worked out...literally. A mile & half of jogging, a mile & a half of walking, push-ups & running stairs.

In Other, Other News
Do Not Answer, aka Brooklyn sent me a text apologizing for acting weird. He blamed it on the alcohol. Then he called me three times. I did not answer, nor return the text

Friday, August 14, 2009

Signs of Stalkery Crazy People - Do Not Answer

6 Signs of Crazy ---- (This means you Brooklyn)

1. If he/she calls you four times in one day: Brooklyn called me four times yesterday. The first two times I was out & about & didn’t answer. I called him back to see what he wanted. He was just calling to say “hey” he said & to see if I wanted to meet up because he was in the area. After explaining to him that I was hanging with the chick friends, and then will be out of town, he was like “Oh”. Fast-forward about five hours later. Just as I’m getting home after my semi-bar crawl, he calls. I answer. The conversation. OMG. Words can’t describe it (in a BAD way). I get off the phone with him. He calls me back 3 minutes later. WTF dude?

2. He/She looks you up on Facebook, can’t find you & tells you he/she looked you up: Ok. I heart Google. I will do my research on a guy in a minute if I feel the need to do so. However, I am not going to “admit” “friend” or stalk said guy through social networks.

Brooklyn: I looked you up on FB but couldn’t find you?
Me: (I don’t want to be found idiot) Ummm, I don’t go by my last name.
Brooklyn: I used your e-mail address too
Me: That’s not the e-mail address I use for that account

3. If he/she talks about marriage excessively within the first 10 conversations: Not only did Brooklyn talk about marriage, he used the words “us”, “we”, “kids” in sentences.

Brooklyn: I really want to get married.
Me: (silence is golden)
Brooklyn: Don’t you wanna get married? I can see “us” having our two kids together
Me: (WTF)
Brooklyn: I’m really feeling you, if you like someone what’s the worst that could happen

Pump your breaks little one. I don’t know you. I don’t know your last name. I just channeled my inner psychic capabilities, and you did not appear in my future! Sorry.

4. He/She talks EXCESSIVELY about how much they like you in the 1st, 2nd, 3rd conversation: Red flag. Ok, they could be trying to get into your panties (boxers if you’re a guy) so they think flattery works. Wrong. Yes, I love compliments, but when you get too excessive with it, I start to zone out. Furthermore, that does not work with me. You loose cool points.

Brooklyn: I don’t know what it is, but I’m really feelin' you
Me: Thanks
Brooklyn: No, really. You’re smart, attractive, mysterious. Like I wanna know everything about you.
Me: (Pause, on twitter)
Brooklyn: You’re different from girls I’ve dealt with in the past
Me: (Twitter is addictive)
Brooklyn: I really really like you. You’re gonna be my future wife
Me: (#WDDDA)

5. He/She tries to tell you woe are me stories: Do not, do not talk about how bad you got it, how hard it is for you, nor about ex relationships. I don’t ask, therefore I do not want to hear it. Brooklyn started out good the first couple of times we talked, but then it just went down, down, down hill. He basically committed involuntary suicide.

6. He/She should not ask you to move in with you: Runnnnnnnnnn. Words can’t express it. I don’t know where to begin with this portion of the convo. Needless to say, Brooklyn went from saying we should move in together, to I’ll pay you to sleep on your couch. This is where I had to end the convo.

Me: I do not know you like that
Me: I don’t need a roommate, nor am I looking for one
Me: Deuces

He is forever known as do not answer

Thank God he doesn’t know where I live, what I drive & where I work. Fucking crazy ass.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

TMI Brooklyn...You Want To Marry Me???

His name will be Brooklyn. I know I'm breaking my own rule when it comes to the names, but he is the most "Brooklyn" guy I have ever met. He's the epitome of what Brooklyn stands for, in my opinion. I was going to blog about him yesterday and talk about how he was a cool guy, and we had great conversations, however...Brooklyn is something else. After last night’s convo, I don’t know what to think. He’s still nice, but I wonder if he’s putting it all out there too soon? We are on conversation tres.

He made it very very very clear he wants to get married (pause). He’s only 25. Is it just me? Am I the only one who thinks getting married in your 20’s is too young? Hell in some cases early 30’s. Not to put a time limit on it, but I know I won’t be ready for at least another four to five years (still in my twenties for five more months!!!)

What about you?

Monday, August 10, 2009

He's Wearing Eau de Desperate

Saturday night, while on my around the city club tour, I met this guy "Jim". He was cool at first. Until we chatted for a min. He was laying on the compliments...really thick. Kind of like a layer of peanut butter. Anyways, he asked for my number. I really didn't think nothing of it. Now and days asking for numbers is equivalent to "making sure I still got it". And let's be honest, I'm good at stroking ego's as anyways. Same night about 3:00am, Jim sends me a text.

Jim: What are you doing? I'm hungry, wanna grab breakfast?
Me: No. I'm going to bed. Call me tomorrow

(We know what this call was, right class?)

Fast forward to this morning. Jim sends me a morning text, wanting to know when we can see each other. I say I don't know, call me later. He calls. Short & to the point:

(after 3 seconds of pleasantries)
Jim: I want to see you.
Me: Uhhh, today? I'm busy.
Jim: Today, tomorrow, soon
Me: Well, maybe we can meet for coffee or something at Starbucks after my appointment.
Jim: Oh, I was gonna pick you up & bring you back to my place
Me: No.

I think the name of his cologne is Eau de Desperate.

The Weekend Update: March of the Penguins

Sorry for slacking on the updates, but I’m so used to writing twits in 140 characters or less, writing a blog seems like writing a novel right now! In any case, I had a good weekend (with the exception of yesterday, yesterday was a beast). Here’s the weekend review in no particular order...

7. Well since I fell of the pink sexy wagon on Thursday, I decided to go hard Friday & Saturday.
Friday = 5 glasses of wine, 2 Amstel Lights, 1 shot
Saturday = 4 Red Bull & vodka’s, 1 vanilla Stoli & lime, 1 Rum Runner

6. Friday was mostly chilling with the chick friends. Started off on U, went to NY Ave. Ended up back on U. Started at 6, didn’t get home till 2:30...I’m surprised I made it. Saturday was club hopping. Three clubs+ one night=good times.

5. I still don’t understand why guys continue to wear sunglasses in the clubs. Guess they didn’t get the “you are lame if you wear sunglasses in the club” memo.

4. I’ve been meeting a lot of guys from Brooklyn lately. Three things I noticed. (1) the migration from Brooklyn to DC. I feel like it’s equivalent to the march of the penguins. Like really. I’ve met like 30 guys from Brooklyn this weekend. Ok maybe not 30... (2). They talk a good game (3) Shy is not in their vocabulary. I met this young guy from Brooklyn two weeks ago. I told him he was too young for me. He was a persistent little something. He stroked my ego and was like, “what, you’re only like 23 or 24 right?”...talked my number right out of my hand, and I was sober!

3. I had to twit about this Saturday night. This guy tried to lick my face. Did I miss something. Is licking faces the new “in” thing?

2. This was the week/weekend Brian was supposed to be in town. I deleted his number after the last time I talked to him, so I never called to see if he was still coming. Saturday, I went to one of “our” spots we used to frequent for the first time since his departure. It was kind of weird, because I used to go there with him all the time. I almost expected him to pop up and start his “so you think you can dance” antics.

1. I start my string of vacations...first up Boston, Friday. Can’t wait. Boston get ready!

Friday, August 7, 2009

The Wagon

5 Glasses of Red Wine
1 Shot

That’s how I fell off the wagon after 17 and a half days. Oh well. Now that I’m off. I’m going to happy hour again tonight.

I have something else to tell you. I feel like I’m robbing the cradle. More on that later.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The Weekend Update: I Suck

So this post was supposed to happen yesterday but I’m addicted to twitter (follow me), so I did nothing. I suck. The weekend was cool. No dancing on bars since I’m not engaging in my favorite pastime. Day 16 no vodka. I’m really serious about rocking my bikini’s in the DR (this one, this one & this one). Last week I started running. No vodka. No soda. No juice. Just water, club soda or green tea (although I slipped & had cranberry juice when I was clubbing...just a buffer between me and the vodka, that’s all)

Speaking of going out, Friday I was supposed to go out with Latino Papi Alex. I really didn’t feel like it, so I decided to make plans 1) knowing he hadn’t sent flair messages by Friday morning. 2) I know he’s flakey, and 3) he probably has a girlfriend. Yep. He only sends text messages. No calls.

His m.o. is trying to keep the lines of communication open by sending me “Mami, I miss you messages” (probably mass text messages) weekly, then once he gets a response, setting something up to make it seem like he’s so interested. Little does he know, that Sprint has this little online feature. I can now block numbers I don’t want to receive text messages from, yea for Sprint! (I’ll be on there this week entering phone numbers) So anyways, back to Friday.

I made plans with some chick friends. We went bar hoping, then I met another chick friend on U Street, for this waaayyy cool “world beat” party. Everyone from every nationality was there. It was SO amazing. It was like an underground we are the world lets all hug and be friends kind of place. Although it began to feel like you were walking into a hot box after awhile, it was so much fun. I danced so much my dress was soaking wet by the time I made it home. Good times. Oh, and there were some absolutely gorgeous guys there.

Saturday I had to take care of business. Latino Papi Alex sent me text messages. “you forgot mami”. Ummm, no idiot, you forgot. I was extremely tired, but I received an invite to hang on U street again by a couple of different people. I went to one spot. Scoped it out, then decided, to bounce. Ummm, was feeling blah.

Sunday Devin & I hung out for a bit on U Street (noticing a theme here). We had a good time.

This weeks agenda...TBD.

In Other News:

Not to rain on your parade, but I have to be a good Diva & keep you informed. Yesterday I came across this: New HIV Strain Found. Wrap it up people.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

What Exactly Is Dating?

I had the pleasure of writing an article over at Bluestone Blog again! This time I tackled the ever elusive definitions of dating. Be sure to check it out and check out Kevin's pov on the latest in politics & social injustice's.