One month of “M-I-A-ness” is coming to a close pretty soon. I have VERY good reasons as to why I took a break from the social network thing. But I’ll probably be back sometime next week with the full details on the demise of Mr. Henry, the Good, Bad & Ugly of my NOLA b-day, the re-appearance of the Old Man, the disappearance of Jason, and the bit on how old flames (namely Mr. Good on paper, a.ka. Carlos) reappear.
Thanks to those who checked to make sure I wasn’t laying in a ditch somewhere between Mississippi and Louisiana.
Luv ya too!
Showing posts with label Good on Paper Guy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Good on Paper Guy. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Monday, July 6, 2009
My Date, In A Nutshell, It Was Boring...
Dates should not be boring. Let me repeat that: DATES SHOULD NOT BE BORING. I went on a date yesterday with this guy. We met at the National Zoo, walked around, talked, walked around, talked. Then I was SO over running, screaming kid banshees and cool animals that could care less about the gawkers. We left and I could have went home at this point. The conversation was very...blah. He suggested we go for ice cream. We get to Coldstone and they are closed. I suggest we go to Alero for a drink. We get there, and I excuse myself to go to the ladies room. While waiting for the person already in there to come out, I see A BIG ASS RAT RUN IN THE KITCHEN, ok, well it wasn’t that big, but when I can see something running around in circles, in the kitchen/stockroom/restaurant, I’m out, like, like (insert phrase here)... I RAN OUT AND TOLD HIM WE HAD TO GET THE FUCK OUT ASAP
(Side Note: For my DC folks, do not go to Alero in Cleveland Park: End side Note)
We finally found a frozen yoghurt spot, and by this time I was so totally not “there”. We finish the date, he drives me to my truck, gives me a kiss on the cheek, and we part ways. A few hours later he texts me and says what a great time he had (wish I could say the same).
I know what you’re thinking? “Diva, what’s wrong with him”. Aside from the fact that I would have had more fun folding paper bags into origami shapes, or I could have played vodka pong with myself, or skipped rope, or laid on the couch and painted my toes...
He was a Good On Paper guy by all accounts, it was just lifeless, no joking, no chemistry, nothing...good on paper does not mean good in person...
(Side Note: For my DC folks, do not go to Alero in Cleveland Park: End side Note)
We finally found a frozen yoghurt spot, and by this time I was so totally not “there”. We finish the date, he drives me to my truck, gives me a kiss on the cheek, and we part ways. A few hours later he texts me and says what a great time he had (wish I could say the same).
I know what you’re thinking? “Diva, what’s wrong with him”. Aside from the fact that I would have had more fun folding paper bags into origami shapes, or I could have played vodka pong with myself, or skipped rope, or laid on the couch and painted my toes...
He was a Good On Paper guy by all accounts, it was just lifeless, no joking, no chemistry, nothing...good on paper does not mean good in person...
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
The Date: Blow By Blow
Ok, before I go into detail about last night, let me get a couple of disclaimers out the way.
Disclaimer 1 - I’m not that patient, hence the reason why I don’t think I’ll have kids
Disclaimer 2 - Time is money
Disclaimer 3 - I was tired
If you recall, I tried to cancel my date yesterday. I kinda foresaw that it really wasn’t a good day to go on a date. Side Bar: The Mr. Henry romps Monday night had little to do with it. In any case here’s the timeline of unfortunate events:
2:47pm: I send date a text asking him to cancel
3:32pm: He sends me one back, checking to see if everything is ok
3:33pm: I tell him it is, but I have something to do, and wouldn’t be able to do a date until 8 (Here’s where I F’d up.)
3:34pm: He says that’s cool, he’ll see me at the spot at 8pm
4:00pm: I think to myself, what a lame I am cause I don’t wanna go on a date. Then I suck it up & get ready to hit my event and go on the date I don’t wanna go on.
6:00pm: Brian calls me to see what I’m doing. I tell him I have an event to attend, then I am going on a date afterwards.
7:50pm: On U street looking for parking...(f*ck)
8:03pm: Make it to the bar. Text date to let him know I’m there
8:04pm: He texts me back and says he’s running 10 minutes late
I order wine, sit in the damn near empty bar with nothing to do. The clock is ticking. I’m bored. Tired. I keep looking at cell. Ten minutes pass and no call. So in my head, I’m thinking I’ll give him till 8:30pm to call or get there. 8:27 still nothing. (F this) I close my tab out & exit the bar at exactly 8:30. As soon, and I mean as soon as I pull out from my parking spot, he tells me he’s there, in front waiting on me. WTF? I tell him it’s been 30 minutes and I left. Then the following convo ensues:
Date: I’mmmm sooo sorry. I was looking for parking and left work later than I anticipated. Please let me make it up to you.
Me: I’m on 14th & N (6 blocks away) now. You took too long
Date: I’m sorry. Let me meet you there.
He meets me, we decide to find a bar & have a drink, but end up driving around, avoiding the parking meter nazi’s. Finally, I’m done with it and tell him we’ll do it another time. Date ends at 9:01pm. I call Brian and we end up going out to a bar on K Street.
About The Date: He’s a good looking guy, well put together, amazing background, respectful...he just operates on CP time, and after about 10 minutes, my self diagnosed A.D.D. kicks in... he’s got 2.5 strikes though. 3 strikes you’re out. He's going out of town for work this weekend, so we said we’ll give it a go next week...I’ll see if I’m up to it.
Disclaimer 1 - I’m not that patient, hence the reason why I don’t think I’ll have kids
Disclaimer 2 - Time is money
Disclaimer 3 - I was tired
If you recall, I tried to cancel my date yesterday. I kinda foresaw that it really wasn’t a good day to go on a date. Side Bar: The Mr. Henry romps Monday night had little to do with it. In any case here’s the timeline of unfortunate events:
2:47pm: I send date a text asking him to cancel
3:32pm: He sends me one back, checking to see if everything is ok
3:33pm: I tell him it is, but I have something to do, and wouldn’t be able to do a date until 8 (Here’s where I F’d up.)
3:34pm: He says that’s cool, he’ll see me at the spot at 8pm
4:00pm: I think to myself, what a lame I am cause I don’t wanna go on a date. Then I suck it up & get ready to hit my event and go on the date I don’t wanna go on.
6:00pm: Brian calls me to see what I’m doing. I tell him I have an event to attend, then I am going on a date afterwards.
7:50pm: On U street looking for parking...(f*ck)
8:03pm: Make it to the bar. Text date to let him know I’m there
8:04pm: He texts me back and says he’s running 10 minutes late
I order wine, sit in the damn near empty bar with nothing to do. The clock is ticking. I’m bored. Tired. I keep looking at cell. Ten minutes pass and no call. So in my head, I’m thinking I’ll give him till 8:30pm to call or get there. 8:27 still nothing. (F this) I close my tab out & exit the bar at exactly 8:30. As soon, and I mean as soon as I pull out from my parking spot, he tells me he’s there, in front waiting on me. WTF? I tell him it’s been 30 minutes and I left. Then the following convo ensues:
Date: I’mmmm sooo sorry. I was looking for parking and left work later than I anticipated. Please let me make it up to you.
Me: I’m on 14th & N (6 blocks away) now. You took too long
Date: I’m sorry. Let me meet you there.
He meets me, we decide to find a bar & have a drink, but end up driving around, avoiding the parking meter nazi’s. Finally, I’m done with it and tell him we’ll do it another time. Date ends at 9:01pm. I call Brian and we end up going out to a bar on K Street.
About The Date: He’s a good looking guy, well put together, amazing background, respectful...he just operates on CP time, and after about 10 minutes, my self diagnosed A.D.D. kicks in... he’s got 2.5 strikes though. 3 strikes you’re out. He's going out of town for work this weekend, so we said we’ll give it a go next week...I’ll see if I’m up to it.
Monday, May 18, 2009
My Random Week & Weekend In Review
In no particular order...
10. Mr. Henry spent the night last night.
9. Home was good but as soon as I got back, I hung with Brian.
8. I don’t think high-school relationships count, but my ex "Carlos" from h.s. (Mr. Good on Paper) sent me a text saying I was in his thoughts, etc. out the blue. It was so random, I thought something was wrong. Called him back to make sure he was ok.
7. The next day his girlfriend texts me and tells me to stop calling “her man”. a) do not bring the drama, b) take that up with him, c) what kind of insecure woman calls another woman...that’s just stupid and sooo very high-school. I called him and told him I didn’t appreciate her calling me and he needs to “check her”. He didn’t. They called me the next day...ugghh kids.
6. Tony called me, citing he hasn’t heard from me, and to “keep in touch more often”.
5. Mr. Henry and I had a long talk about “us”
4. Have you ever thought about someone else, while horizontal dancing”
3. I got Brian’s going away gift...the flask.
2. The tools are relentless. I also received other random texts from Chris and Latino Papi Alex
1. When the ex asked me if I was seeing anyone, I told him about Brian...I don’t understand how he says he still has feelings for me, and we haven’t dated since high-school, never had sex, and haven’t seen each other in like 5 years. My enquiring mind wants to know...
10. Mr. Henry spent the night last night.
9. Home was good but as soon as I got back, I hung with Brian.
8. I don’t think high-school relationships count, but my ex "Carlos" from h.s. (Mr. Good on Paper) sent me a text saying I was in his thoughts, etc. out the blue. It was so random, I thought something was wrong. Called him back to make sure he was ok.
7. The next day his girlfriend texts me and tells me to stop calling “her man”. a) do not bring the drama, b) take that up with him, c) what kind of insecure woman calls another woman...that’s just stupid and sooo very high-school. I called him and told him I didn’t appreciate her calling me and he needs to “check her”. He didn’t. They called me the next day...ugghh kids.
6. Tony called me, citing he hasn’t heard from me, and to “keep in touch more often”.
5. Mr. Henry and I had a long talk about “us”
4. Have you ever thought about someone else, while horizontal dancing”
3. I got Brian’s going away gift...the flask.
2. The tools are relentless. I also received other random texts from Chris and Latino Papi Alex
1. When the ex asked me if I was seeing anyone, I told him about Brian...I don’t understand how he says he still has feelings for me, and we haven’t dated since high-school, never had sex, and haven’t seen each other in like 5 years. My enquiring mind wants to know...
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Mr. Good On Paper
So I am F'N tired of meeting these good on paper guys, wasting time on the phone, texting, e-mailing, then finding out Mr. Good On Paper has some major characteristic flaw...we all know some Good On Paper Guys, you know the one's:
attractive - (check)
good job - (check)
nice car - (check)
educated - (check)
lives alone/or own's place - (check)
non-smoker - (check)
no baby's mama's - (check)
no girlfriend or wife - (check)
spiritual - (check)
healthy/works out - (check)
So what's missing??? Hmmm, it's usually something major, like: bad in bed, bad breath, calling/texting too much, player type, too nice, not spontaneous or adventurous, bad conversation, habitual liar, small package nicely wrapped...if you get the drift. In any case, you never find out about the OTHER traits until it's too late and you've invested time (that you can't get back) into this Good on Paper Guy. I have the perfect example, of one of my former "Good On Paper Guys".
Meet Carlos:
He's an ex boyfriend from a long, long, time ago. He had/has it all. He's the quintessential "Good On Paper Guy". He even took the "Good On Paper Guy-ness" to the next level and owned not one, not two but three (3!) houses (financially stable - check). He's a non-smoker, non-drinker, who is drug/disease free (check). He's a military man, who worked his way up the military ranks (ambitious - check). He was kind of a golden boy who didn't want to have sex outside of marriage (Virgin- no check). I kid you not, the last time I spoke with him (September) he had only had sex with two (2!!!) women in his whole life (I wasn't one of them...another blog another time). His ex-wife and now his current girlfriend... (just two)...commitment type (check).
So what's wrong him (rather what did I think was wrong)?
Long story short, he wanted to get married and be in a relationship with me (no I'm not kicking myself for passing this seemingly good man up). My major issues with him were: spontaneity, predictability, boring-ness(with a capital B!), different education, spiritual and political values. He didn't want to engage in sexual relations (sorry I gotta test drive it first)...and he didn't like going out and doesn't go out. (that's like DEATH for me!)
Anyways, he was the quintessential Good Guy On Paper...
Did I miss something???
Just my thoughts...it's cold outside (I don't care what you say, long john's are NOT sexy) so I'm inside (trying not to fall off the party wagon), so one of three things are going to happen...1) I'll blog all day and night, 2) I'll cave and invite the Old Man over...damn wintertime weather!!!, 3) I'll fall of the Wagon, and be at the Club/Bar in no-time!!!
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