The Date: Blow By Blow

Ok, before I go into detail about last night, let me get a couple of disclaimers out the way.

Disclaimer 1 - I’m not that patient, hence the reason why I don’t think I’ll have kids
Disclaimer 2 - Time is money
Disclaimer 3 - I was tired

If you recall, I tried to cancel my date yesterday. I kinda foresaw that it really wasn’t a good day to go on a date. Side Bar: The Mr. Henry romps Monday night had little to do with it. In any case here’s the timeline of unfortunate events:

2:47pm: I send date a text asking him to cancel

3:32pm: He sends me one back, checking to see if everything is ok

3:33pm: I tell him it is, but I have something to do, and wouldn’t be able to do a date until 8 (Here’s where I F’d up.)

3:34pm: He says that’s cool, he’ll see me at the spot at 8pm

4:00pm: I think to myself, what a lame I am cause I don’t wanna go on a date. Then I suck it up & get ready to hit my event and go on the date I don’t wanna go on.

6:00pm: Brian calls me to see what I’m doing. I tell him I have an event to attend, then I am going on a date afterwards.

7:50pm: On U street looking for parking...(f*ck)

8:03pm: Make it to the bar. Text date to let him know I’m there

8:04pm: He texts me back and says he’s running 10 minutes late

I order wine, sit in the damn near empty bar with nothing to do. The clock is ticking. I’m bored. Tired. I keep looking at cell. Ten minutes pass and no call. So in my head, I’m thinking I’ll give him till 8:30pm to call or get there. 8:27 still nothing. (F this) I close my tab out & exit the bar at exactly 8:30. As soon, and I mean as soon as I pull out from my parking spot, he tells me he’s there, in front waiting on me. WTF? I tell him it’s been 30 minutes and I left. Then the following convo ensues:

Date: I’mmmm sooo sorry. I was looking for parking and left work later than I anticipated. Please let me make it up to you.

Me: I’m on 14th & N (6 blocks away) now. You took too long

Date: I’m sorry. Let me meet you there.

He meets me, we decide to find a bar & have a drink, but end up driving around, avoiding the parking meter nazi’s. Finally, I’m done with it and tell him we’ll do it another time. Date ends at 9:01pm. I call Brian and we end up going out to a bar on K Street.

About The Date: He’s a good looking guy, well put together, amazing background, respectful...he just operates on CP time, and after about 10 minutes, my self diagnosed A.D.D. kicks in... he’s got 2.5 strikes though. 3 strikes you’re out. He's going out of town for work this weekend, so we said we’ll give it a go next week...I’ll see if I’m up to it.

I Suck... (Not really)

I suck. I have a date in less than 4 hours and I tried to cancel it....but I didn't seal the deal. So now I gotta go. I didn't really have a good reason to cancel, except for the fact that Mr. Henry spent the night last night & kept me up....or the fact that I have an event to attend from 5:30 to 7 something. Oh well. Guess I'll go.

He seemed cool on the phone. We met on Friday (I was somewhat sober). He's Nigerian, but he has a cockney/Brit/Nigerian accent (that was too funny to me). Good job, blah, blah, blah. He seems nice. Young but nice. I'll let you know what happens...

He Took It Like A Champ

Damn, the hardest thing I had to do this year, just happened about....uhhh 5 minutes ago. It was probably harder than standing in the ring with Laila Ali...but in the end, I feel lighter... and I think he took it like a champ....I think.

I didn't necessarily want to have the conversation over the phone, but I didn't want to do it in person either. He called me around 8 something, I was busy. I called him back around 10:30p, he said he had to call me back.

The conversation took about 11 minutes...I really didn't know what to say. Although I was playing the monologue in my head all day, when it came down to it, I forgot my lines, I was like a dear caught in headlights, getting ready to be someones dinner...so it just came out...not like I rehearsed it, but none-the-less, I think he got the point.

Round 1

Me: Uhhhhhh.

Old Man: You said you needed to talk

Me: Yes, about that...

Old Man: Just spill it

Me: (in my head: "SHIT"!): Well, I've been thinking about it lately, and Sunday solidified it, I want a relationship, but I'm not sure that's something you're ready for ( just a little white lie). I know this is pretty heavy, and loaded, and we probably should've had this conversation in person, but if I didn't say it now, I wouldn't have (true)

Old Man: Well we can still have it in person.

Me: No

(Round 1 Draw)


Round 2:

Me: Are you surprised?

Old Man: No, I knew this is what it was going to be about, either us being together or us being apart, and it's timing is perfect. We've been seeing each other for awhile now, and maybe it's time to progress, you're special to me

Me: Uhhh (speechless)

(Round 2, winner by a slim margin, the Old Man)


Round 3:

Me: I need my space

Old Man: OK? you need your space?

Me: Yes, I have a lot going on, and I haven't been myself, and I do want a relationship, I'm just not sure it would be right between us. So just give me some time to sort things out

Old Man: So do you want me to call you?

Me: No, I'll call you...

(Round 3, winner by a TKO....me!) Ok, maybe not really, but, I think he got the point. I'm free at last, free at last!!!

Epiphany in the Shower

"Showers are where I come up with some of my greatest ideas." - Diva


So this morning as I was showering, I had an epiphany! I didn’t want to talk to any of the guys anymore. The guys being Mr. Henry, Tony & the Old Man. Before I lost my balls (figuratively speaking), I began making the moves. The first one on the list Tony.

Tony - Came over last night. As we were laying there having pillow talk, he asked me a question I absolutely despise. “So, why aren’t you in a relationship”. I mean I really, really hate that question. Maybe it’s the way a guy says it, or maybe it was the fact that he asked me after we fooled around, but it’s so loaded. It’s like he’s trying to figure me out or size me up. I wanted to retort, and say “cause you’re a manic depressive and I only like you for the sex”, but I didn’t. I gave him some b.s. answer and changed the subject. We talked awhile longer about him going to therapy, not working, (nor looking), and about other nonsense, then he left.

I know it’s not right, but I sent him a text this morning. 1) I knew he would be asleep, 2) I had to do it right then and there before I changed my mind 3) I wanted it to be the first thing he see’s when he gets up.


Mr. Henry was next. He doesn’t light my fire. That’s it. I like him, but I don’t wanna have sex with him anymore. I called him after I sent Tony a text.

Me: You up? Did you go to the gym?

Mr. Henry: Yeah, I woke up late, I’m gonna go tonight

Me: I decided I don’t want to have sex with you anymore because I want a relationship (lie), and I know you don’t want one (true), so I think we should just be friends. Don’t get me wrong the sex is good (not anymore), but it’s getting in the way.

Mr. Henry: You’re right, I’m not ready for that

Me: Good, but we can still be friends, ok, get ready for class, I gotta go


Last but not least...the Old Man. I called him, but I knew he was at work, and the conversation would be too loaded and he’d have a million f’n questions.

Me: Good Morning

Old Man: What? You called me? I can’t believe it, Kitten never calls me in the morning

Me: Yep, hell must have froze over

Old Man: You sound good, it is cold outside. How are you my dear?

Me: I’m good. We need to talk.

Old Man: About what?

Me: Relationships, us. I know you are at work, so tonight ok?

Old Man: Do you want to come to my place?

Me: No.

Old Man: Why?

Me: Because I don’t.



So that’s it, in a nutshell. No more romping with Tony or Mr. H, no more dating the Old Man. Just tired of them... In other news, I may be going on a date tonight with someone new...we’ll see how I feel.

One Basket

During my college years my dad gave me the best advice, ok, maybe not the best, but great advice that I never took heed to until recently.

"Cupcake, don't put all of your eggs in one basket". He told me.

At the time, I didn't really listen. I dated the same dumb guys on and off which resulted in tears, drama, and more tears and drama.

It's about five/six years later; his advice has come full circle. Problem is, I have too many eggs. Maybe I'm still tired and delirious from Friday (hmmm, Island Prince), or maybe I need to seriously consider removing some of the "eggs" from my baskets.

I was so tired last night, I wanted to veg out, listen to music, and snuggle in my bed (preferably with Island Prince). I did those things for the most part, but I also had a draining conversation with "DJ" the guy from Spain from Sunday. I had to explain to him that I was tired and not up for Salsa, then I had to explain it to his cousin. Damn, I really need to work on my Español.

Then I talked to the Old Man Benjamin. Had to explain to him I was tired & not up for anything. Then he wanted me to confirm when I would be. I told him I had a lot going on the next couple of weeks. I told him about my trip to Miami at the end of the month. He was bummed I wouldn't be here to celebrate his 70th birthday. Ok, I know that's mean, I think he'll be 56! I should get him some Viagra (not that he'll get the chance to use it with me!)

Mr. Henry called me. I guess he wasn't mad anymore. I didn't ask him. We talked briefly.

I ended the night talking to Island Prince John; then chatted with him on instant messenger for another hour. We talked about nothing really, but it was good. He makes me smile. Damn, why do the one's I like have one thing or another wrong with them & their situation. He lives thousands of miles away, plus, I found out, he has a fresh baked baby, she's going on three months. And there's more to the story...no he's not married. Thank God.

Another blog about that convo another time.