So Operation Replace Brian has been aborted. I can’t replace him. I can only get someone who is similar, maybe better (or worse), but not him. Last night we attempted to go out and just ended up at a pool hall. We chilled, drank, the normal...then it really hit me...he’s leaving. End of story. Period. Adios. Sayonara. Goodbye. He’ll be gone the next three weekends, then when he gets back, I will have just a few weeks before the plug is pulled. So to occupy the time, he somehow managed to have in my already busy schedule, I’m traveling more. New York this weekend, home the following weekend, Vegas & the Dominican this summer, and if I can squeeze another trip in to Jamaica...all the better. Maybe even a trip to see him...
In Other News:
Tool 1 & Tool 2 keep calling/texting me.
Tool 1 (James) sent a text: Hey, I haven’t heard from you since our date. How are you.
Me: Good. Busy. It’s just bad timing. Sorry
Tool 2 (JB) leaves me 5 minute messages, and sends me at the minimum three text a day. One in the morning, one in the afternoon, one at night, and a few random ones for the hell of it.
I’m thinking about just getting a new number altogether. It always seems someone calls/text from out the blue, that I don’t wanna talk to. Latino Papi Alex still sends me text messages from time to time. Tony text me last week, as well as the Old Man. POW kindly reminded me that I’ve had my number for almost 6 years...yeah, I think it’s time for a new number, although I have become quite attached to it!
Showing posts with label JB. Show all posts
Showing posts with label JB. Show all posts
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
I Sure Know How To Pick ‘Em
Help! I've fallen, and I'm in Tool Hell! I mean really. My radar has been off for the last few months. (I have Brian to thank for that) Anyways, this weekend was a pretty low-key weekend, with the exception of the date from hell last night. Despite my sixth sense, common sense & gut feeling, I decided to give JB a chance, just for Tunde (you owe me one!!!). After many back & forth's and blah, blah, blah's we settled on seeing the new X-Men movie, my choice. See I figured since his conversational skills were horrid, that a movie would be the safest bet. You know, no talking...or at least limited talking before the movie started. WRONG!!!
First Impression: TOOL
Second Impression: MAJOR TOOL
Third IMPRESSION: OMG, I have to walk out with him, I hope no one sees me (yeah it was that bad)
Ok, let me back up. So JB, what can I say about him. I try to find something GOOD about everyone. I mean, something that I like about the person. Sometimes it takes me a long time, and sometimes it's just there. Well with JB, the only good thing I found, was I liked his glasses and they were perfect for his face. They were SEXY NERD, although he had no idea how to pull the rest of his outfit off. He had on long black shorts, with long black athletic socks, (I hate that) and black tennis shoes, and an army-ish looking t-shirt, The shorts looked liked wide leg Capri’s, and went well over his socks. WTF? I know we were going to be in a dark theater for 3 hours, but you'd think he'd dress better than that. To top it off, he told me over the phone, he was coming from work and had a change of clothes in the car, so he wouldn't have to go home. He should have just wore his work shit...
Lets see, what else...oh he talked a lot. A whole lot, and I couldn't really concentrate on all of the words because his breath was a bit...well...bad. Actually, it smelled like a dumpster on a hot day in July. I leaned more to left, because he was sitting on my right. I tried to make an excuse to leave & go to the concession stand, just so I could get some fresh air. He went instead, which allowed me about 5 minutes to take deep breaths with out gagging. When he came back, he had a small popcorn to share and a water for me & soda for him. I really appreciated it. But I didn't want to share. Not because I'm stingy, but I couldn't help to think where his hands had been. If he put that much thought into his grungey, backseat car outfit, who knew how much he'd put into washing his hands...
Speaking of talking, he didn’t know how to use his indoor voice, seriously. Like I whispered, just so he would follow my lead...nope not a chance. For the most part though, he was quite during the movie which was really good. And he was respectful, no getting drunk like the previous date with the other tool. The only other thing that got on my nerves besides his talking, his breath, and wardrobe choice, was the fact that he felt like he had to explain everything to me, but really he was the one a few crayons short in his crayon box. For example:
Him: Yeah, you know you would probably like Iron Man. I haven’t seen it but...
Me: I seen it, they are coming out with a part two soon...
Him: Well you know, my boy told me about it, and I was thinking it was probably about a man made of Iron, like Superman or something...but it’s not, he explained it to me and said he has a suit. I never seen it though. You know, they probably have it at Redbox. You know, the box where you can get movies, since they are coming out with a part two.
Me: Yeah, I seen it, you should see, it. Do you have Netflix
Him: No, I have this thing called a DVR, you know, you can record stuff on it, and watch it later. Because I don’t...
Me: Yeah, I know what a DVR is...
Him: Well you can record stuff on it. I don’t know about Netflix.
So, so painful. I learned my lesson. Stop giving guys my number when I’m drunk. Blame it on the...
First Impression: TOOL
Second Impression: MAJOR TOOL
Third IMPRESSION: OMG, I have to walk out with him, I hope no one sees me (yeah it was that bad)
Ok, let me back up. So JB, what can I say about him. I try to find something GOOD about everyone. I mean, something that I like about the person. Sometimes it takes me a long time, and sometimes it's just there. Well with JB, the only good thing I found, was I liked his glasses and they were perfect for his face. They were SEXY NERD, although he had no idea how to pull the rest of his outfit off. He had on long black shorts, with long black athletic socks, (I hate that) and black tennis shoes, and an army-ish looking t-shirt, The shorts looked liked wide leg Capri’s, and went well over his socks. WTF? I know we were going to be in a dark theater for 3 hours, but you'd think he'd dress better than that. To top it off, he told me over the phone, he was coming from work and had a change of clothes in the car, so he wouldn't have to go home. He should have just wore his work shit...
Lets see, what else...oh he talked a lot. A whole lot, and I couldn't really concentrate on all of the words because his breath was a bit...well...bad. Actually, it smelled like a dumpster on a hot day in July. I leaned more to left, because he was sitting on my right. I tried to make an excuse to leave & go to the concession stand, just so I could get some fresh air. He went instead, which allowed me about 5 minutes to take deep breaths with out gagging. When he came back, he had a small popcorn to share and a water for me & soda for him. I really appreciated it. But I didn't want to share. Not because I'm stingy, but I couldn't help to think where his hands had been. If he put that much thought into his grungey, backseat car outfit, who knew how much he'd put into washing his hands...
Speaking of talking, he didn’t know how to use his indoor voice, seriously. Like I whispered, just so he would follow my lead...nope not a chance. For the most part though, he was quite during the movie which was really good. And he was respectful, no getting drunk like the previous date with the other tool. The only other thing that got on my nerves besides his talking, his breath, and wardrobe choice, was the fact that he felt like he had to explain everything to me, but really he was the one a few crayons short in his crayon box. For example:
Him: Yeah, you know you would probably like Iron Man. I haven’t seen it but...
Me: I seen it, they are coming out with a part two soon...
Him: Well you know, my boy told me about it, and I was thinking it was probably about a man made of Iron, like Superman or something...but it’s not, he explained it to me and said he has a suit. I never seen it though. You know, they probably have it at Redbox. You know, the box where you can get movies, since they are coming out with a part two.
Me: Yeah, I seen it, you should see, it. Do you have Netflix
Him: No, I have this thing called a DVR, you know, you can record stuff on it, and watch it later. Because I don’t...
Me: Yeah, I know what a DVR is...
Him: Well you can record stuff on it. I don’t know about Netflix.
So, so painful. I learned my lesson. Stop giving guys my number when I’m drunk. Blame it on the...
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
One Date, A Tool & A Funeral (Part 2 of 2)
Continued...
So we are sitting in the car, I’m pissed. I want him to go, I’m tired, and he’s being persistent.
Him: Hey, is that Ben’s Chili bowl? I’ve never eaten there. Have you? Do you wanna go?
Me: It’s alright. I only eat there when I’m drunk. No, I’m tired.
Him: You sure, I’ve never had it.
Me: You mean to tell me, you’ve been here for 10 years and you never went (What a bunch of F’n bull, during the week he told me he hung out in D.C. all the time)
Him: I live in MD
Me: But you’re here every weekend, and you went to school down the street? Where do you live, I’ll drop you off. (I’m frustrated & am not in the mood to argue...)
Him: It’s late, you sure. I can just stay at your place, I’m not gonna do anything...
Me: No.
Him: Well you can stay at my place. I feel bad. I don’t want you on the road this late. You sure you ok to drive?
Me: Yes. I’ll get a red bull.
Him: You can stay at my place. I promise you, I’ll sleep on the floor.
Me: No
During the drive, he asks me if I want to stop at IHOP. He kept saying anything to prolong my agony. I pull through a drive-through. The ride is about 35 minutes. He’s trying to make small talk over my blaring Common CD. I’m trying to drown his voice out. I’m mad at myself for breaking my own rule...no dates on Saturday night. My thoughts drift to Brian, I want to call him, but by this time, it’s shortly after 3am. The only bonus is, he put gas in my truck...not that, that was a super bonus, because I didn’t get home until 4:05am...I was beyond pissed.
Cons: Such Toolery. Taking 3 shots back to back does not impress me. Thinking I'm going to fall for the, "I'll sleep on the floor, I promise" is pure ignorance. Not being man enough to leave at a decent time, or make the proper arrangements, to make sure your grown ass gets home, is major cool points lost... Dressing, like a reject from Tools R Us, is such a turn off...
Suffice it to say, he doesn't get a second chance.
In Other News:
Sunday I was supposed to go on a date with J.B. But after the debacle with James, I didn’t feel like being bothered, so I cancelled. I text’d Brian to see if he wanted to join me. Brian salvaged what was left of my painful, sleep deprived weekend. Tomorrow, I meet his daughter, brother and Mom...
Yesterday, Mr. Henry called me because he wanted something. It’s funny, he was pissed last week, because I wouldn’t do the horizontal dance with him. I didn’t hear from him all week, then he calls me, because he needs a “favor”. I told him about himself and told him I couldn’t help him...I don’t give a fuck if he’s pissed.
Tony text’d me last night, and asked if we are “still friends”.
Something is definitely in the water...
So we are sitting in the car, I’m pissed. I want him to go, I’m tired, and he’s being persistent.
Him: Hey, is that Ben’s Chili bowl? I’ve never eaten there. Have you? Do you wanna go?
Me: It’s alright. I only eat there when I’m drunk. No, I’m tired.
Him: You sure, I’ve never had it.
Me: You mean to tell me, you’ve been here for 10 years and you never went (What a bunch of F’n bull, during the week he told me he hung out in D.C. all the time)
Him: I live in MD
Me: But you’re here every weekend, and you went to school down the street? Where do you live, I’ll drop you off. (I’m frustrated & am not in the mood to argue...)
Him: It’s late, you sure. I can just stay at your place, I’m not gonna do anything...
Me: No.
Him: Well you can stay at my place. I feel bad. I don’t want you on the road this late. You sure you ok to drive?
Me: Yes. I’ll get a red bull.
Him: You can stay at my place. I promise you, I’ll sleep on the floor.
Me: No
During the drive, he asks me if I want to stop at IHOP. He kept saying anything to prolong my agony. I pull through a drive-through. The ride is about 35 minutes. He’s trying to make small talk over my blaring Common CD. I’m trying to drown his voice out. I’m mad at myself for breaking my own rule...no dates on Saturday night. My thoughts drift to Brian, I want to call him, but by this time, it’s shortly after 3am. The only bonus is, he put gas in my truck...not that, that was a super bonus, because I didn’t get home until 4:05am...I was beyond pissed.
Cons: Such Toolery. Taking 3 shots back to back does not impress me. Thinking I'm going to fall for the, "I'll sleep on the floor, I promise" is pure ignorance. Not being man enough to leave at a decent time, or make the proper arrangements, to make sure your grown ass gets home, is major cool points lost... Dressing, like a reject from Tools R Us, is such a turn off...
Suffice it to say, he doesn't get a second chance.
In Other News:
Sunday I was supposed to go on a date with J.B. But after the debacle with James, I didn’t feel like being bothered, so I cancelled. I text’d Brian to see if he wanted to join me. Brian salvaged what was left of my painful, sleep deprived weekend. Tomorrow, I meet his daughter, brother and Mom...
Yesterday, Mr. Henry called me because he wanted something. It’s funny, he was pissed last week, because I wouldn’t do the horizontal dance with him. I didn’t hear from him all week, then he calls me, because he needs a “favor”. I told him about himself and told him I couldn’t help him...I don’t give a fuck if he’s pissed.
Tony text’d me last night, and asked if we are “still friends”.
Something is definitely in the water...
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Morning Sunshine Is Better Than Vodka
This morning I talked to Brian for awhile. He definitely put the EXTRA sunshine in my morning. We talked about nothing really, but...well you know, sometimes it still makes you smile.
In Other News
Not to get your hopes up, but I may have found a replacement! He’s not sexy like Brian, but he has a passport!!!! And he has more stamps than me. Thus far, we have talked two days in a row; and e-mailed and text'd. The first day, we talked for TWO hours, which is un-Diva like. Usually, I’ll give someone about 30 minutes, but “James” was so very entertaining. He could actually hold a conversation! We may go wine tasting or something on Saturday. Don’t hold your breath, but cross your fingers!
JB, the Pedicure guy called/text me again. Because of Tunde, I will give him a chance. Just one though. Who knows, maybe he took the long bathroom breaks in-between each sentence because he was nervous. (I hope I don’t regret this...)
In Other News
Not to get your hopes up, but I may have found a replacement! He’s not sexy like Brian, but he has a passport!!!! And he has more stamps than me. Thus far, we have talked two days in a row; and e-mailed and text'd. The first day, we talked for TWO hours, which is un-Diva like. Usually, I’ll give someone about 30 minutes, but “James” was so very entertaining. He could actually hold a conversation! We may go wine tasting or something on Saturday. Don’t hold your breath, but cross your fingers!
JB, the Pedicure guy called/text me again. Because of Tunde, I will give him a chance. Just one though. Who knows, maybe he took the long bathroom breaks in-between each sentence because he was nervous. (I hope I don’t regret this...)
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Operation New Guy: I Forget What Day
Operation New Guy.....ehhh, not getting the quality....just the corny & pure torture. The one who had the most potential...Danny, well he’s lacking conversational skills. Actually, all of them are.
Monday night, was pure torture....I mean, forget water boarding, if you really want to torture someone, have them to talk to some of the Lame’s I’ve been meeting. The guy that said he wants to get a pedicure with me.... “JB”. He sent me a series of text messages Sunday & Monday. Since, he couldn’t seem to stop texting me, I told him to call me later on. Like clockwork, I received a call from him...madness.
First, he’s a bit of a stutterer. Actually, it’s more like he takes looooonnnng pauses and says the same thing over. What would normally be a 15 minute conversation, turned into 30 minutes of unadulterated torture. Aside from that, he’s another guy, who has never, ever, ever lived outside of Maryland. Moving from Baltimore to Rockville was the highlight of his 30 something years. And traveling. When I asked him if he likes to travel. He said "yeah, when I go to Chicago, I don't just go to the city, I go to the parts people don't tell you about." WTF?
Can I please meet someone with a passport and a few stamps......
Monday night, was pure torture....I mean, forget water boarding, if you really want to torture someone, have them to talk to some of the Lame’s I’ve been meeting. The guy that said he wants to get a pedicure with me.... “JB”. He sent me a series of text messages Sunday & Monday. Since, he couldn’t seem to stop texting me, I told him to call me later on. Like clockwork, I received a call from him...madness.
First, he’s a bit of a stutterer. Actually, it’s more like he takes looooonnnng pauses and says the same thing over. What would normally be a 15 minute conversation, turned into 30 minutes of unadulterated torture. Aside from that, he’s another guy, who has never, ever, ever lived outside of Maryland. Moving from Baltimore to Rockville was the highlight of his 30 something years. And traveling. When I asked him if he likes to travel. He said "yeah, when I go to Chicago, I don't just go to the city, I go to the parts people don't tell you about." WTF?
Can I please meet someone with a passport and a few stamps......
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
