Thursday, August 28, 2008

The Old Man

So tonight I went to the Old Man’s House. I’m not exaggerating when I say old. “Benjamin” is almost 30 years my senior. He has a son that’s a year older and one that’s only three years my junior.

About Benjamin, we met through this local activities group. The group is more or less a social group for people who like to go out and dance. Every one imaginable belongs to this group. So it was natural that we became friends as a result of our involvement. What I didn’t know is that when Benjamin asked me for my number it wasn’t because he just wanted to keep in touch. After a lunch date, and two dates later, I realized how much Benjamin really liked me.

He’s a nice guy, but I can’t get past the age factor. I made the mistake of telling a few friends about our dates, and he continues to be the butt of all old jokes. One friend recently asked me if I picked him up at a nursing home. Aside from the getting pass the age factor, there is no way in hell I could tell my parents about him. I can imagine how my first conversation would go.

“Uh, mom, I met this man, really nice guy, likes to go out & have fun, he’s 55, only five years older than you”

Yeah, I can see how that will play out.

Not only that, but Benjamin tried to kiss me after one of our “dates”. I tried to turn my head, but his lips somehow landed on the corner of mine….yuck. I felt like my grandpa accidentally left the bathroom door opened and scarred me for life. And on more than one occasion, he mentioned the three letter word…yep S-E-X or as he put it “goodies”. Not in an old nasty man sort of way, but none the less I quickly changed the subject. (There’s no way in a million years he’s getting my goodies.) He’s come to the conclusion that I’m this shy, sweet virgin….ok, maybe I’m pushing it. But he did ask me if I was a virgin. I didn’t deny it.

Tonight, he showed me pictures from his recent trip to the Caribbean. His house reminded me of my grandmother’s house. Kind of old, outdated with moth balls and pink, lots of pink. You could clearly tell his ex-wife decorated the place like 60 years ago and he never changed it. He was a complete gentleman, I could tell though that before I left he wanted to kiss me…avoided that, like the plague.

So what do I do about my old man Benjamin? I mean, he’s nice, but it could never be. I mean 1) he’s old, 2) his kids are my age, 3) he has grandchildren, 4) see #1, 5) he’s older than my mom & step-dad, 6) he’s only 10 years younger than my grandmother, and 7) see # 1.


Monday, August 25, 2008

Cocky Guys

So last night I went to my friend Brian's place. A little background on Brian, I like him... a lot. We often send drunken text messages to each other. For example he sent me one Saturday at 3:30am. Although I didn't respond, ( I was in a half-coma) I knew he had me on the brain....both of them. There is a lot of sexual tension between us, however, aside from the occasional ass grab, we have never taken a ride on the far side.

The other thing about Brian is, he's the proverbial player type most women should avoid. He's cocky, arrogant, and has more female "friends with benefits" than Ben & Jerry's has ice cream flavors. So, why am I attracted to him? He's tall, sexy, and I will admit, sometimes his cockiness is sexy. However, under no circumstances will I divulge my feelings. Besides, it's kind of fun hanging out with him. To him, I come off as this flirtatious, playerette (so farfetched, I know), but it works!

So anyways, Brian's friend Mark from Nevada was visiting. He's average, a little over the top, but nice. We're sitting around eating, drinking, talking, texting and Mark pops the question, "So, can I get your number?"

Not only was I thrown off guard, giving my number to Mark, would be involuntary suicide. I mean, if that line were crossed, there would be no way in hell, that Brian & I could keep sending drunk one liner explicit text messages to each other.

Trying to think quickly on my toes, I responded, "Uh, you live in Nevada".

Mark: "So, there's technology, we can call, e-mail, text message, fly back and forth and see each other"

WTF? Oh my, this was difficult.

Me: "I don't do long distance."

Mark: " I didn't want your number anyways"

Me: "Whatever, yes you did"

Whew. So after ten seconds of awkward silence, we got back to normal. Although Mark did try to touch my leg & dance with me, I think he got the picture. Did I pass up a good guy? Possibly. But...I really don't do long distance relationships.


Friday, August 22, 2008

Top 10 First Dates Besides Dinner & a Movie

I decided to come up with a funny, yet entertaining list of my "Top 10 First Dates Besides Dinner & a Movie"!!! Whether you choose one or all 10, make sure to make the most of your first date, relax, have fun, and meet in a public place! Happy Dating!!!

10. Ice Skating, roller skating or bicycling. - Even if you have never done any of these, it's a great way to break the ice, get exercise, and to see if your date doesn't take himself- or herself too seriously. We know most of us are bound to fall a few times, but can you laugh at yourself afterwards!!!

9. The Park - When it's nice outside, and you have so many beautiful places to go in DC, the park can be a wonderful place. Take a blanket, some snacks, and enjoy. If you and your date aren't making a connection, say something like " I heard it's going to storm today, maybe we should leave...and beat the storm."

8. A Sporting Event - You have a ton to choose from, especially if you are a die-hard Wizards or Redskins fan. Sporting events are a great way to see if you are compatible, especially if you're a sports can weed out the non-sports freaks with one date. Just don't take your date to a baseball or hockey game. I've seen too many people get hit with flying pucks and wouldn't want your date to end up with a black eye would you? or would you???

7. Dessert - I said besides dinner and a movie!!! Dessert can be fun with the right person. You can even make it sexy and feed each other. Just don't get whipped cream topping items... or if you do, use them at your own discretion!

6. Museum - There are a ton of FREE museums in DC. You can look like you're trying to be intellectual when you are really being cheap or are just broke. Your date will either think you are extremely progressive and smart or boring....either way you can't lose because it's FREE!!!

5. Happy Hour - If you are really trying to be cheap, there are a ton of free happy hours that offer free wine and snacks, as a ploy to get you in and spend more money. Just stick to the free stuff unless you are trying to impress your date!!!

4. Shooting Pool or Bowling - The good thing about Pool halls, is you can talk, drink, and watch your date bend over the table (that's if you are really into him or her). If not, then maybe you should bowl. Either way, it's a fun way to get your juices flowing and to have a little friendly competition. (i.e. if I make this shot you have to give me a kiss or buy me a shot)

3. Amusement Park - Although the really good one's are far away, it's a great way to scream, and act scared, and say stupid stuff like "no, that wasn't me, it was the kid behind me, I swear!!!" I'm a big fan of Roller Coasters & bad Fair food.

2. A Walk - Walks can be cute and romantic. You can window-shop, stop & get food, and talk and learn a lot about each other. Just make sure you aren't wearing 4inch stiletto's (this goes for the guys too!)

1. Your Favorite Thing - Whatever it is that you like to do, do it. You may have more fun doing what you enjoy on a date, which may cause you to loosen up & relax. Whatever you do or wherever you go be safe and have fun!!!!


Wednesday, August 20, 2008

The Persistent Bike Guy

I didn't plan on blogging more than once a day, but on my way home, the funniest thing happened. I'm walking home from the Metro & this guy passes me on a bike. "Hey cutie" he quips. First, I don't like being approached that way, so I said hi and kept walking.

Well he turns around and asks me if he can call me sometime. "No, I have a boyfriend". Clearly a lie, but I figured that was the quickest & easiest way to get rid of bike boy. Nope, he rides along side of me, "well you can call me", he says. "No, I can't I have a boyfriend", I reply.

He keeps on trying for a few more minutes, then gives up & leaves...

Why do some guys not take no for an answer. If a woman says "no I have a boyfriend", isn't that a clear sign of, "I have a boyfriend, I'm not going to cheat, leave me alone?"


The Weird Guy From The Gym

I decided I'm going to back track and talk about some of the funny dates I've been on and some of the guys I met thus far. Most of the time I meet guys out at clubs, lounges, or bars etc. But not too long ago I met a guy at the gym. He actually worked at the front desk. So me and "Tony" (his name has been changed for obvious reasons) flirted a little bit after my work out. It was my first time back to the gym in awhile & he was new. We made small talk, and exchanged numbers. Tony called me that night when he got off of work. Normally, I don't expect the guy to call the same night, unless it's after the bar & he's trying to get in my there was a bit of a red flag. None-the-less we had a great conversation, in fact we talked for 4 hours!!! We set up a date for the next day to have Thai food and shoot pool.

"Tony" picked me up the next day ( he was a little late, but no biggie). He opened the door, complimented me on my outfit, and showered me with praises on how nice I looked. Things seemed to be off to a good start. We went to this amazing Thai place, and afterwards we went to a pool hall, however there was a long wait, so we ended up having a drink at the bar.

Through-out all of this there were a few red flags that jumped out at me about his personality; 1) He was more bubbly than a teenage cheerleader on speed. I love guys who are happy and in a good mood, but it was almost like he had 10 cups of Starbucks and chased it with red bull....a little too over the top for me. 2) He had too many excuses about his lot in life. He was 36, just started working as a receptionist at the gym, still lived at home with his dad, and well....let's just say there would be some other ones that came up later... 3) Well I found this one out later....he's freakin weird....

Ok, so after the date, he took me back home & I invited him in for a bit. We listened to music, & talked. We kissed for a little, then he left. So fast forward some days and hours of conversation later, Tony comes over, and we "hook up". It was fine....average. I didn't have any huge expectations. He takes me to work, & on the way there he's, he's a morning person & I'm not. But it wasn't his singing that annoyed me, it was the fact that he was doing a sing-song kiddy voice, and naming everything we we passed. Like he would say "loook, a treeeee" in a freaking sing-song kiddy voice...

A few more romps & dates later, it had to end. I began to enjoy the romps, but his personality freakin annoyed me....the only bad thing about all of this was I had to see him at the gym for awhile....then I stopped going & got a work-out buddy....(another blog, another time about him :)

Dating in DC

This is the first of many blogs about my hilarious, unbelievable dating experiences in DC. A Little about me, well, lets see, I'm a 28 year old professional woman, who has been living in this wonderful place we call the "Capital" for three years.

I consider my self to be laid back, unpretentious, fun loving, & well....I guess you'll have to tune in to the blogs to find out!!!

So, stay tuned...