Saturday, November 29, 2008

Dating On A Budget

Have you ever put-off a date or postponed a date due to lack of funds? Remember the good ole’ college days where everyone was broke, so $2.00 happy hour was great and no one would get upset because you took them to a $2.00 happy hour, even if they were a two-bit…(ahem)

Well I’m here to the rescue. Don’t hang up your dating life because we are in an economic crisis. In fact, this is probably the best time to date. If someone can stick with you through the Dow’s downfall & Congress bailing out everyone and their mama, then they are a keeper. Plus it’s an excuse to be cheap and vett your dates on a budget before taking them home to meet the family!

Here are some cheap/free date ideas to help get you started on your new dating life during our modern day depression! Shawn Smith from SBMINNOVA threw in a few of his favorite as well! Happy Budget Dating!

1. Movie Night In - Skip paying for the $11.00 movie, $5.00 popcorn and $4.00 drink …instead there are these cool little red boxes in most major cities at grocery stores that will allow you to rent a movie for about a dollar a day. And since you will already be at the grocery store grab a box of microwave popcorn and a cheap bottle of wine; like the Barefoot brand. Total Cost of Date - $10.00

2. Culture – Most major cities have a free museum or a free exhibit at an Art Gallery. Grab your local city paper and circle the one’s of interest. Not only will you seem refined & cultured. Haven’t you heard…SMART is the new SEXY… Total Cost of Date - $Free

3. Throwback Date – Remember when hanging in the parking lot of (insert place here) was cool??? Ladies remember when you’d go to the recreational center/gym to check the guys out, knowing you didn’t play basketball? (The good ole college days!) Pick your favorite nostalgic hangout spot. Take your boombox (nowadays MP3 Players with speakers) and crack open a cheap bottle of Boonesfarm (2 for $5.00) and get to know each other all over again! Make use of the backseat if you must...Total Cost of Date - $5.00

4. Dinner for Two – Ok, so you’re not ready to invite him/her to the pad yet. Not ready to show your Wolf Gang Puck cooking skills. Don’t fret. You can still have dinner really cheap and it doesn’t have to be Romen Noodles and PBJ. Cool places to go include Mom & Pop places or places off the “beaten track”. In DC one of my favorite good cheap eat places is Sweet Mango Café. They always give you a decent sized portion. Enough for sharing! Other fairly cheap places to check out in DC include (The Tandoori Grille, Julia’s Empanada’s, The Diner, Ben’s Chili Bowl, Sticky Rice…and anything else that has more than 5 entrée’s for under $10.00). – Total Cost of Date - $20 or less

5. The Scenic Route – Feeling a little romantic? Is the weather nice out? Does your city have a scenic river overlook? As long as it’s safe and you aren’t breaking any indecent exposure or trespassing laws, get a bottle of wine, some cheese & grapes and watch the sunset. Don’t forget the blanket! And remember fellas, don’t be too cheesy…just the right amount will get you there! – Total Cost of Date - $15.00

6. Get Sweaty Together – No, not in the bedroom…well, I’m not opposed to it, but another great way to get the juices flowing is at the gym. There’s nothing hotter than working out together. Once you get your heartrate up, you’ll feel sexy, sweaty & ready to take on the world…or some after gym action??? (Go online to get free 1-Day gym passes from a local gym) – Total Cost of Date – Free

7. Shut Up & Drive – I’ve never done this, but it’s not a bad idea, test-drive your dream car. Pretend you just hit the lottery or you’re filthy rich and go test drive your favorite car. Did I hear someone say Aston Martin???? Total Cost of Date - Free

8. Happy Hour – In a city where Happy Hours are trendy, you’ll never look cheap when you take your date for free drinks before 8 and half-priced appetizers. One up them and take care of the tips the whole night! Total Cost of Date - $10-$20

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Public Service Announcement (PSA)

This is a PSA. I wouldn't be a good Diva, if I didn't do this...WRAP IT UP, WRAP IT UP, WRAP IT UP. There's no excuse. I just found something new online as well. Has anyone ever tried this? If so, what were your thoughts? Be safe, go have fun for me. I'll be stuck in no-where-ville (actually it's a city...but nothing like DC) with the family for the week. Wish me luck, I'll need it......and a big bottle of vodka.


EEO - Equal employment opportunity. Everyone deserves a chance.

My dating definition - Every man that meets certain requirements, passes a rigorous physical examination, and can show/give proof as to why they are the "man" for the job can apply for the position. Disclaimer: Not all applicants will be selected. Must show proof on demand, be unmarried between the ages of 25 & 40 (some exceptions to the cap at 40 rule) must not have tons of "baggage", must be a heterosexual male (who was born as a male) must be willing to relocate (no relocation stipends are available at this time) and must be willing to properly fill out the application without assistance, show proof of commonsense, be attractive and drug and disease free...requirements may change unexpectedly and at my whim...and as I deem appropriate and fitting based on the circumstances, my mood, and the time of month. Now accepting applications for a boyfriend, before requesting an application make sure you meet the prerequisites, and provide a resume and proof of job and insurance....

Thursday Night Old Man Benjamin & I went Salsa dancing. I noticed that this is starting to be a routine for us. Salsa dancing & movies...we need to do something to spice it up.

After I left, I noticed I had a missed call from Tony. I called him back, and we talked for about an hour. He wanted to see me before I left for home for the Holidays. I told him when I get back, that this weekend was pretty busy for me.

In Other News

Something happened to me this weekend. It's a delicate situation and I'm trying to figure out the best way to approach it. Do I just spit it out there and hope no one takes offense. Or do I skirt around the situation & hope people get it. Ok, here it goes.....I ummm, had a weird Interracial sexual experience on Friday. We didn't have sex (I did try) but well for lack of a better word it was...............small. So why did I throw in the fact that it was "Interracial"? Well because it was my first one. (sort-of) I'm not the one to believe stereotypes or promote them, but if everyone's first experience was like mine...then I could see how the stereotype would perpetuate.

So when I spoke with P.O.W. about it, we came to the conclusion that I should have just went over the Old Man's house. And basically why haven't I taken it there with him yet. My only conclusion is that he's old...but now, I'm wondering...maybe old won't be so bad...he will have experience on his side.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Imagine It

It's getting cold out, pretty soon, I'll be hibernating until spring. I've been contemplating more and more about inviting the Old Man over. We've been talking everyday and in so many words, he said I "could have whatever I like" from him. It came up when we were joking and I said something about quitting my job and being homeless and moving in with him.

We have all types of random conversations and I try to imagine what would "it" be like.

1. What would it be like to SERIOUSLY date someone 31 years older?
2. What would he look like naked (I'm seriously grossed out right now, a little bit)?
3. What would, S-E-X be like?
4. What would his first visit to my place be like?

Funny thing is, I met him in February of this year. It's going on almost a year.....hmmm, who would have thought

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Tainted Water

I'm convinced the government has put something in the water in DC. Maybe it started out as a social experiment then somehow mutated and got out of hand; then they jumped ship and left us to deal with it. That's why I drink bottled water from tap for me. I don't want to catch what's in the water...

Why the rant? Because Cartoon Hands (Carl) sent me a F'n picture of his "johnson" out of nowhere.

I swear to you, I did not give him any signals, key words, or indication that I wanted him to send me yet another picture of himself...especially his "johnson". We've never had phone-sex, never talked about sex or body parts...hell we haven't even had our 1st date yet. Damn, I know I haven't had any in awhile but WTF? WTF?

Don't drink the water in DC...

Monday, November 17, 2008

Sexless In DC

Something's not quite right...not sure, I can't put my finger on it. Have you ever had one of those weekends where everything seems a Well I haven't had one in a long time, so I guess it was long overdue. It's time to confess...

Confession # 1: Friday Night - I stayed in. (I know!!!) It was rainy, I was feeling crappy (Can we say I hate M.N.), and I just felt like chilling alone. I made dinner, rented a movie and indulged in ice cream and champagne. (not together)

Confession # 2: Saturday Night - Felt completely off. Although I hung out with friends...something was missing. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I hate it when I go out, and it's not the party on wheels I expected. Then I get bummed because I wasted a hot outfit.

Confession # 3: I ran into Akeem when I was out on Saturday. It wasn't awkward or anything. I think he was with a girl that was standing next to him. He gave me a hug and said hi.

Confession # 4: (We're still on Saturday) - I sent a mean text message to Mr. Henry. I don't know why. I wasn't drunk (that drunk). I don't think he got it, but I said, "I hate you". I don't though. I guess I was being dramatic plus I was horny, (and M.N. was visiting) and ok...I was quite tipsy.

Confession #5: It's been 3 weeks since I had sex, I need something to take the edge off so I won't make any rash decisions, I thought about going to THE STORE, but was too lazy to drive I guess I'm not that hard up...yet

Confession # 6: Sunday Night: Old Man Benjamin & I went to see the Bond Flick tonight. I loved it! Plenty of shooting, car crashes, and action. Old Man Benjamin didn't like it as much. He was upset there weren't any good sex scenes (no sex scenes). The theater was crowed. When we got there, we had to sit up front. I wasn't completely sure who was behind me (DC is small sometimes), so I opted NOT to snuggle up with him, although he lifted the armrest for me to move closer. Instead I put my hand on his leg most of the movie. When he started making comments about sex and how he hoped there was lots of it, I moved my hand. After the movie, he took me home & the conversation went a little like this:

Me: So what happened to the cookies you said you were going to make me?

Old Man: (laughing) You're right, I did say I would make you cookies. I tell you what, the way that you are going to get these cookies is if you come to my place

Me: (LMAO) You're always trying to get me to come to your place...we'll I'm on a diet, so I don't really need any cookies

Old Man: Well we can make them without sugar and all natural ingredients. Then after we are done, if you're up to it, we can make "other cookies"

Me: You're not getting my cookies

Old Man: Well we can do whatever you want, no pressure

Me: With each date you're getting bolder and bolder

Old Man: And you're slowly starting to reveal yourself

Unbelievable right???? Earlier he invited me over to in his words "Play House". What am I going to do??????????

Friday, November 14, 2008

When 1 + 1 = 4

Boyz 2 Men.

The difference between boyz & men is great. And to determine the difference quickly, it takes a woman who knows what a real man is. That would be me! I met this guy "Akeem" Friday when I went out. He was cute, charming, and most of all, he had sexy hair that I wanted to pull. We exchanged numbers and texted and talked a few times since Friday. Tuesday, he asked to meet for tea or coffee, but I had plans with the Old Man. Last night he asked me to meet him at a local lounge that was advertising free drinks and admission. I'm all about the drink specials!!! So I said YES!

The agreed upon time for our date was 9:00pm. He took the Metro, so he ended up getting there late! After waiting in the car & sending text messages back and forth, I decided to go in and wait. He called me & told me that he ran into one of his friends and they would be joining

I get in and go to the bar to wait for him. By this time it's 10:00pm. This guy sitting at the bar starts a conversation with me, so I entertain myself while I wait. Akeem finally walks in. He walks over and we exchange hugs. So there's a few things about him and said place that I must disclose. He's young. 23 to be exact. Everyone else in said lounge is about 21ish as well. I must have been hanging around Old Geezers too long, because I really felt like I was back in college on "college-night".

So one friend turns into two friends. Fine. I'm running the text messages and conversations back through my head to see if I missed something...

1st Text from Akeem at 3:00pm: Hey hope u been well..._______ has free open entry and open bar tonight, would you like to go if your time is free?

Me: Thank you. It's going well. What time would you like to go? I could use a drink!

Akeem: I could use a drink too. I just got the text. Open bar is from 9-11. Let's shoot to be there at 9 if that's not too late for you

Me: Perfect. Can you please forward me the text

So after texting back and forth a few more times, our plans are set. We even talked once again around 7pm to confirm everything. During all of this he didn't say my friends are coming or are meeting us there...nada. Had he said, "I'm going to the bar for drinks tonight with friends, you should stop by & have drinks with us" I would have been cool. But I wasn't in the mood to hang out with 21 year old boys tonight. So I left the boys and went to the grown-folks lounge around the corner. What a difference!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Twice It's...

So Sunday, while I was out and about doing my own thing, I ran into Tony (Weird Guy from the Gym). I forgot what the saying is, but isn't it like twice it's happenstance? It was weird because I almost half expected that I would run into him, but that was like two hours earlier before our chance run-in.

We gave each other a hug. He held me a little bit longer than expected. We had that awkward pleasantry "wow, it's good to see you" conversation. You know, act surprised, smile, blah, blah, blah. But this time it didn't feel as forced as our first run in.

Tony: Heyyyy (yeah he does that a lot)

Me: Hi, how are you?

Tony: Good, what are you doing here?

Me: I just had dinner, on my way to buy a laptop, you? This isn't your neck of the woods

Tony: Waiting on a friend, we're going to a show

So after 10 minutes of pleasantries, he walks me to my truck and asks me for my number again. I give it to him. (don't ask me why) We hug & say our good-bye's. So one awkward, wtf, "why are you asking me this" moment during our conversation was he asked me what happened to us, that everything ended abruptly, all of a sudden he didn't hear from me. I'm getting better at biting my tongue and not saying the first thing that comes to mind, which would have been, "You we're acting weird as f***", but I waited 5 seconds before I points for me!

He called me tonight. We almost talked for an hour. He was much calmer (no red bull & coffee highs). But he still asked me a lot of questions I wasn't prepared to answer. Why me?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


Last night Old Man Benjamin and I went on one of our weekly dates. When he picked me up, I decided to surprise him with a few things. The first was homemade tortilla chips that I made myself. I'm always telling him about the fabulous food I cook, so I surprised him!!! The second surprise was the commemorative issue of the TIME magazine with President-elect Obama on the cover. He was surprised and pleased with both! (I can pull out the sweet card when needed!)

Tonight's date was the movies again. The cool thing about it, is we went to an Independent movie theatre, so there's always bound to be something interesting. We seen this great movie with Robert Dinero; I must say we enjoyed ourselves.

At the end of the movie, as I was leaning to get up, I had one of those moments where my pants didn't quite cover all of my know, where you see the panties peeking out. Well, I suddenly felt a hand right there! I sort of levitated out of my seat & pulled them up. I looked at him a little sideways...(slow down gramps...)

Old Man: What??? (smirking...)

We left the movies arm in arm, hand in hand. As we made our way through the parking garage to the car, the Old Man seemed to be in his normal chipper mood. He unlocked the car doors and reluctantly waited by the passenger side and starred at me.

Me: What???

Old Man: Nothing

He grabbed me, gave me a kiss and grabbed my ass!

I was caught off guard. Wow!

Afterwards we found ourselves at this little Latin Club. Hmmm, I'm starting to notice a theme here. We sat and listened to the band for a moment, then walked around and headed back to my place.

I didn't invite him in.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Missing In Action

So I know I have been missing in action last week. Between the stunning electrifying election, spending time with Old man Benjamin and partying, I haven't had time to sit down and breathe. So here goes...

Last Monday - I went Salsa Dancing. It was ok, except, it always seems like the shortest guys want to dance with me, then when they try to turn me, I can't fit under their arms...go figure. Hmmm, they must not have gotten the memo, you have to be "at least 5'7 to ride this ride".....

Election Night - I spent it with Old Man Benjamin. We started out at a music/coffee shop, then he wanted me to accompany him to his friend's place for their Election party. This is the first time I was introduced to them and they to me. So a few things happened worth mentioning. 1) I'm the youngest one there, 2) I was Introduced by my first name (no title needed), and 3) This lady thought I was his WIFE! Yep, and she kept fishing for information.

Lady: So do you cook?

Me: No

Lady: WHAT, you don't cook, you strike me as being able to know how to cook. You gotta cook for your Husband

Old Man Benjamin: She's being shy, she cooks, in fact she's a great cook

Me: He's not my Husband, and he's never had any of my food

Lady: What? Well if you cook for him, he'll be your Husband

Me: I'm the prize, he should be cooking for me

Lady: You're right. My husband cooks for me

After dodging her questions and "nosiness", I had a great time. I spent Wednesday recovering, and soaking in everything from the night before, including the monumental win!

Thursday Night - Old Man Benjamin and I went Salsa dancing. The whole time he kept dropping hints about me coming to his house and vise versa, to give me "private" Salsa lessons. I still haven't invited him in. I guess I don't have a really good reason, but I think he likes the challenge. My place is like a mystery to him. He knows I'm not hiding anything, but none the less, he still inquires about getting the invitation...hmmm, it must have gotten lost in the mail!

Friday and Saturday I went out and had a blast.

Sunday was a me day, and lo and behold...guess who I ran into?

Monday, November 3, 2008

Liquid Courage

OMG...something is in the water! The building Engineer "Al" in my office stopped by and flirted with me longer than normal today. At least 15 minutes. Aside from eluding to me making him dinner next week, he dropped a few hints that his birthday is tomorrow and also squeezed in a "so are you single, do you have any kids?" line:

Me: Oh, your birthday is tomorrow. How cool it's on Election Day!

Al: Yeah, so do I get a birthday discount on my first dinner?

Me: Yeah, I'll bring you a cupcake...don't hold your breath though

Al: I'll practice my look of surprise

Me: Yeah, practice all week

Al always stops by and says hi and asks the usual, "how was your weekend"...I guess he took his liquid courage this morning because that was unexpected! I'm going to start selling bottles of "Liquid Courage" - $9.99 a bottle.

Disclaimer - Not guaranteed to work with lame pick-up lines

Saturday, November 1, 2008

"Inner Hooker"

Last night was almost amazing! Actually it was amazing. I went out and had a blast. While most girls were bringing out their “inner hooker” in sexy costumes…I opted to wear my old cheerleading uniform from high school! Yep…I still got it, and filled it out a lot more than I did 10 years ago! I’m happy I decided to skip hanging out with the Old Man. I ended up meeting a few potential new daters, danced all night, and made it home by 3!!! What a Friday, I wish every Friday was a costume party!

Today is such a nice day out. I don’t know what I want to do. Do I hang out with Old Faithful, or do I hang out with someone new. Cartoon Hands (Carl) called me earlier this week and wants to do something. Also, Latino Papi has been trying to see me for the last week…what to do, what to do???