Update On Everything Diva, Including Horny-ness, F*ckery & Everything In Between (1 of 2)

Ok, so I know I've been MIA, and now here I am, trying to play catch-up, fill-in & fill-up. So let me start with a few disclaimers. As usual, I'm drinking. So if something doesn't make since, blame the Yellowtail Shiraz (hey, good cheap wine, what can I say). Disclaimer #2, I haven't had sex in like 2 months...so everything reeks of sexual tension. I'm scared I'll throw my panties at some random guy on the street anyday now, although I must say, I've been in some hard situations the last month (all puns intended), and didn't give in....so maybe the horny-ness is a mental thing.

First things first. I remember I told you I was going to tell you about the break-up with Klein. Hopefully to clear up the fact that I'm not a bitch for breaking up with him shortly after his mom passed. Here goes...

So in the comments awhile ago, I indicated my rocking, eccentric Aunt passed away shortly after Klein's mom. In fact, we were together when I got the news that she had hours (if that) to live. Klein & I talked about her & we talked about his mom, life, blah, blah, blah. So we depart, and on my long drive home, she passes. I call him to let him know. He doesn't answer. A few hours later he calls me & tells me he's out & will call me later.

Later ends up being the next day or so. I had to call him because his phone was off...so I let him know I'm going home for her funeral over the weekend (it's like Monday evening at this point). He's still out of town at this point & says he doesn't know when he'll be back, he has family stuff to take care of. Well he gets back in town Wednesday (but he doesn't tell me, I found out via his sister early Thursday morning, after she sent me a text asking me if I spoke to him). We talked Thursday evening.

I left Friday morning for the funeral.

I leave on Friday & not once does he:
1) call me to see if I made it home ok
2) check on me to see how my fam is doing with everything
3) check on me to see how I am doing
4) see when I'll be back, call to say he misses me, or and fuckery of that nature.

I get back to D.C. on Sunday evening & call to let him know I'm back. No answer. I go about my day, head to the store, with the intentions of going home to unpack & re-pack for my trip to paradise in the form of Jamaica that takes place 3 days later. Low & behold I'm in the check-out line and guess who comes in??? Klein.

He comes up to me (I didn't notice him or rather see him walk in) and asks me to wait for him while he checks out.

I wait.

He comes out & acts like everything is right with the world. The first thing he says to me is:

"I got into a fight last night at work"

Me: *blank stare*

(in my head: WHAT THE FUCK, I DON'T CARE)

Me: (outloud): Ummm excuse me. Did you get my text from earlier?

Him: Yeah, about you making it back?

Me: Um Yeah.

Him: Yeah, I was gonna call you. But guess what happened to me last night?

Me: I don't care. Before you tell me anything, you haven't even asked me how my flight was, how's my family, how was my trip. In fact, you didn't call me once this whole weekend!!!


Ok, sorry guys, I'm getting mad just thinking about the pure fuckery that came out his mouth afterwards. To be continued...

But In Other News:

I resisted the temptation that is Mr. H for the last month, and the fact that he's been throwing it at me like a major league pitcher...

Remember Jason??? If you don't you gotta catch up on him, he's sorta back in the picture as a "friend only".

School has me busy as well as work, so I've been a REALLY GOOD DIVA. As you can see, I'm in the house...but the night is still young.

Disclaimers, Confessions & Sex Rehab

Last Night
I gave him the disclaimer twice...“no sex”...he said he just wanted to hold me (yeah right...) so, against my better judgment I went over there....because...well because, he wore me down. He’s been asking daily for I don’t know how long and technically it was not cheating, seeing as how I broke it off with Klein before I went to the Islands....so I was super single.


Once we got to his house, I asked him for shorts because I forgot pj’s (ummm who wears pj’s anymore?). He’s awkwardly trying to figure out which way to lay. We leave the t.v. on, he pulls me close & I have restless sleep, pretty much the whole night. Somewhere between me dreaming of beaches & rum punch and 6:30am, he starts kissing me, and tries to eat my “muffin”...I clutch my shorts and SHUT IT DOWN...


In the Morning:

Me: I thought you said you weren’t going to try anything?

Mr. H: You seemed restless, I just wanted to help you sleep better



In Other News:
Yes, Klein & I are not together. I got so fucking frustrated with him, I gave him the deuces via text (don’t sue me, I tried to call him and he didn’t answer so I had no choice....), and boarded a plane to paradise for 4 days, thereby cutting off all phone communication with him. Guess he was salty about it, because he tried to take shots at me on Facebook.....oh well, once a child, always a child.

The longer story of why I broke up with him will follow soon




In Other Other News
Guess you can tell by my sporadic postings, that the life of a grad student is about to ensue...not sure how demanding it will be, but I’m sure dating and debauchery will be on the back-burner...I’ll try to stick around & blog about the crazy-ness....this isn’t my last post...just a disclaimer.

Good Girl In Hawaii

So I just made it back from vacation this week, and I’m proud to announce I was a good girl. In fact too good.


Klein & I are still together... I actually kinda missed him while I was gone


POW came to D.C, 4th of July weekend and all we did was drink & party, and party & drink, to commemorate her dirty thirty, with an added mini bonus trip to NY. One night we hung with Mr. Henry & his friend at a lounge, after trying some other spots. POW is under the delusion that me & H are made for each other. Although we talk everyday and still do favors for each other (not that kind) he never stepped his game up.

Side Note: I have yet to tell Klein or Mr. Henry about each other. Is that wrong??? (I’m saving the male ego, they can both be quite jealous....and in my defense, Mr. Henry and I haven’t played “horizontal polo” since December, and I never intend to let him get near my muffin box....ever). End Side Note


Maybe I’m playing with fire...what can I say, I used to enjoy lighting matches as a child...


In other news I’m going to Jamaica next month...I’m trying to slowly break it to Klein, that I will be in my favorite place on earth, celebrating yet another thirty club card member, but I gotta let him recover from me spending 7-days in Honolulu first...

Speaking of Jamaica, I got a random call today from someone there...hmmmmm.

The Vault: Mr Romantic (Part 2 of 2)

Sooo, we're on the couch watching the movie and I fall asleep...I know, bad right, but he got over it. He wakes me up and we go upstairs to his room. Now, a lot of things are going through my mind simultaneously, "do I stay, I'm tired, it's cold outside, he's gonna try to do me, even if he says he's not, he will try, I don't feel like driving, I should go"

I stayed (Bad Diva)...no sex. He tried. We fooled around. No sex. I woke up at the butt crack of dawn and tried to sneak out. He woke up and walked me to the door, asked me what I was doing for the day, blah, blah, blah.

So, we continue to talk, go on a few lunch dates...then it fizzles. Now there are some major things about Mr. Romantic that I didn't like. However, I'm trying to do a happy post, awww, hell, who am I kidding: he had a small man complex. He tried to BOSS me around and talk over me. When we would have a friendly little Political conversation, he HAD to ALWAYS be right (so he thought), he wore shoulder pads in his suits which gave him a weird upside down triangle shape. He was waaay skinnier than me, he almost looked mal-nourished, like he was on a bread & water only diet, which was a turn-off...other than that, he was ok....whew, ok.


He continued to call/text. We stayed in touch somewhat. Then one day, he said something that no guy has ever said to me before, "you don't want a man do you"?

WTF. Uhhh

Me: Why do you say that?

Him: I'm trying to be with you, but when I talk to you about relationships, etc, you stay stuff to make me think you don't want a man.

(You know what I was thinking in my head right?)

Me: (Silence) Uhhh, I do.

Him: No you don't.

Me: Ok

That was the last conversation we had for almost a year, until recently, when he used my side business (i.e. side hustle), and tried to find the PERFECT opportunity to bring up the fact he had a girlfriend...good for you...I don't care.

The thing I took away from our whole interaction, was that for once in one of our conversations, he was right. I didn't want anything at the time (at least with him), hell I don't know what I want NOW.

One minute I want a boyfriend, then the next I'm gallivanting to Jamaica, and drinking rum punch with my crush on a nude beach...

How Brian Met Diva

Ok, I didn’t realize, I never really went into how Brian and I came to be “friends”. Last year, around the end of March, I put out an ad on CL, looking for a male workout buddy. I received a plethora of responses. Some offering “other” services, some who hadn’t seen a gym since birth and some who were just plain creepy. A few passed the screening process, one of which was Brian. There was one other guy who passed, but it never came to fruition.

So anyways, we worked out a few times together, but I think I was hindering him, because he was working out 4 times a week, plus training for a marathon. I was hitting the gym twice a week, plus taking strip aerobics, so not quite a match made in workout buddy heaven. We ended up having a lot in common, i.e. hanging out.

I seen him out a few times with his friends and after a few text messages back and forth, we ended up going to the club together. In between all of this, I was getting mixed signals. He’d grab my ass a few times, and there was this one time when I was coming back from New York and we had a long text exchange about our fantasies.

One night at like 3 am he asked me for a ride home. I was up because I just got home from the bar myself. In the back of my head this was a booty call. I get to where he’s at, and he gets in. He’s pretty drunk. We stop at McDonald's so he can get something to eat. He’s flirting, looking at my legs, trying to push the skirt up on my legs. We pull up to his place and he invites me in to “have a glass of wine on the balcony”. Now, I knew what was up. I accepted.

We get upstairs, he pours me the wine, and we are talking. Somehow we’re talking, flirting, and I ask him to see his package. He opens his shorts, and I look inside. (I know, I can’t believe it either). He then says he’s going to bed. So, that’s my cue right? I didn’t know what to do. I asked him if I could take a shower. When I get out, he’s laying on the bed naked, sleep.

I go over and try to get him up. He puts his arm around me. And that’s it. Now I’m wide awake, and I don’t know what to do. It’s hard for me to go to sleep, so I get up and leave. It’s like 5am. In the morning I get a text message, and he asks me why I left, and apologizes for being drunk, and says I should have stayed. That was it.

We continued to hang out, sometimes flirting, but mostly learning about each other. Pretty soon it became a friendship. Then comes Miami, then comes Jamaica...and here we are now.

So here’s the thing, we KNOW a lot about each other’s sexual exploits. A LOT. I know more than I want to know about his, but all of a sudden, I’m still attracted to him.

While we were in Jamaica, people kept telling me what a “cute” couple we were. After I’d politely correct them and say we are just friends...they’d be like “Bullshit”. We got that a lot. Everyone thought we were married or dating. There was one lady I was talking to at the bar (I don’t know where Brian was) and she kept saying how she thinks we are going to be together, blah, blah, blah. Even if I adamantly said no, we’re just friends...she still pushed it.

So here I am now. He tells me a lot. He’s seeing a lot of other women, sort of serious about one....but I still have this huge F’n crush on him. Not because of the challenge per se. It’s more to it than that.

He told me & people in Jamaica why he admired me. He looked out for me. He told someone he had “too much respect for me”...we had hours upon hours of “real” conversations about our goals. And at the end of the day, minus his notches, sexual romps, addictions, and the fact that we are just “friends” ... he could still get it.


So I never told him how much I like him and respect him. I’m sure he has an idea on some level. But a part of me knows we are just “friends” and are in that “Friends Only” category.

So that’s it...that’s how Brian & I came to be...friends

OMF'n G....I Can't Believe It

Why me? Did I do something utterly immoral in my past life??? I just got off the phone with Tony a few minutes ago. Uhhhh, he's sprung. Yep. Not to toot my own horn, (toot, toot) but damn....it's not him that I want....I want....someone else.

Tony basically said he's wide open, and he wants to make it work with me. I said we should take it slow. On one hand I DO want that happily ever after stuff they FORCE down our throats in the movies...but what, or rather WHO I really want is Brian.

I was too scared to type that, but I do.

No we didn't have SEX in Jamaica...

But, he's what I want....and I can't have him

I hate Karma...whoever finds Karma, hold him down until I get there.

Life sucks.

Post Jamaica

Wipe The Slate Clean - Start from scratch. Out with the old, in with the new...


So I got back into DC at the butt crack of dawn after suffering many delays at the airport. Tony picked me up. We get to my place and the door is opened. I look at him, and I'm like "I'm not going in there"...he gives me that look like I'm not either...so we call the police and I have to wait yet again. After getting the "all clear" we go in, and nothing was stolen, whew... just happenstance.

We make it in, and I'm exhausted like silly exhausted I don't know what to do with myself. I take a shower and he's in my room, looking at my books. He noticed I received the one I wanted off of my wish list. He asked me when & how I got it, that he brought me one for Christmas and never gave it to me. He was going to give it to me for my birthday...well too late buddy!

So after our first round of horizontal dancing, we're laying there having pillow-talk, and he starts getting sentimental on me...and in my head I'm like "Ohh fuck", but out loud I'm like "really"....see the thing is, I've had a change of heart, re Tony.

The week before I left, he was being flaky. So the night before I left, I gave him an ultimatum so to speak.

Me: Look, one minute you're telling me how much you care about me and want to spend time with me, then the next minute, I don't hear from you in 4 days. No text, no call, no nothing.

Tony: I know, I've been going through something's, and I told you about my problem, when I get down, I get really down, and I shut down

Me: I understand that, and I'm not disputing that, all you have to do is drop a quick text or call and say that. I'm leaving in a few hours for Jamaica. I'll be gone for 5 days. That will give us some time to determine what we want. When I get back we can talk

He basically goes on to say how he wants me in his life, blah, blah, blah. Before I left, I thought that's what I wanted too, but I've had a change of heart...and now he decides he wants to be with me.

I don't want to be with him anymore.

We spent the whole night and all day yesterday together.

I still don't want him anymore.

Even after he said he wondered what our kids would look like, and that he'll take care of the house if I don't want to, and do the cooking & cleaning.

Nope, no change of heart.

When he asked to look at my baby pictures, and told me how much he loved my eyes, my skin, my body, my spirit...

I still didn't have a change of heart.

Even after we had hours, upon hours of amazing can't be described sex...I still don't want him.

Isn't that a bitch?

What Happens In Jamaica, Stays In Jamaica

I had so much F'n fun...too much...I don't know what to do with myself...tired...happy...already missing Jamaica and I'm stuck in Miami...

I'll spill the beans tomorrow, maybe!!!

T-minus 6 Hours

I had the arduous task of packing this evening. No seeing guys, one conversation and a fully packed suitcase later, I realize that this time tomorrow night I'll be in Jamaica. It was a hard decision. I kept mulling it over all weekend on whether I should go home or go on the trip. It really wasn't easy, because I felt guilty...but after much contemplation and reviewing the finances, I opted to continue with my plans...

So here I am sitting, and thinking. Should I make any last minute phone calls? Mr. Henry called me to wish me a safe journey and the Old Man called this morning with his usual wake-up call, but I haven't spoken to Tony.

Hmmmm.

V-Day

Wooo, hooo. I’m so excited. This time next week, I’ll be in Jamaica, running from the below freezing temps here, in my favorite American City (District)... and, drum roll please....I’ll be in Jam-rock on Valentine’s Day!!!

Now, I have been contemplating this for the last few weeks (since everything was confirmed) and I’m trying to decide what will I do if Brian makes any advances towards me... I thought about this long and hard, I may have even had a few non-related dreams in regards to this situation, that I won’t be able to avoid... so I came up with a few scenarios, and what my response will (may) be.

1. Brian walks in on me while I’m changing - Exit strategy - Throw my shoe at him (sign of love in some countries...)
2. Brian walks around naked in front of me - Exit strategy - Silently think happy thoughts, and pretend I don’t see him (this may be a little hard, cause he has the best body ever...)
3. I slip on water (or baby oil) and fall in his lap - Exit strategy - “Oooops”
4. Brian gets in my bed in the middle of the night to spoon - Exit strategy - I’m still trying to formulate one...I’ll get back to you on that one
5. I sleepwalk for the first time in my life, and end up in his bed - Exit strategy - Pretend I’m still asleep

Hmmm, so yeah, the plan is to not, do anything (no kissing, no hugging, no touching)... and I’m pretty strong willed when I need to be, so this will be a piece of cake...


In Other News

Mr. Henry asked me the other day what I was doing for V-Day, and I replied, “I won’t be here”.

Mr. Henry: where are you going?

Me: Jamaica

Mr. Henry: With who, 9 inches (that’s what he calls Brian cause he doesn’t know his name, and I told him I accidentally seen his “package” and it was ...)

Me: Yes

Mr. Henry: Ya’ll are going to do it?

Me: No we’re not. We’re just friends. Nothing happened in Miami, and we are cool. Nothing’s ever happened between us...

Mr. Henry: The only reason why nothing happened is because you started your period.

Me: Whatever. I’m not doing anything with him. Nothing.


Last, night we hung out for awhile. He helped me with my laundry and tried to get me to participate in “extracurricular” activities afterwards. I politely declined. Mr. Henry likes me... a lot. I feel like he likes me more now, because of the chase/challenge. He knows about all of the guys. He asks me, then he says little things like “You’re so much sexier now”, “I like this new attitude you’ve developed”. “Your booty looks great”... yep, so after these statements, I decided to up the ante, and to be extra challenging...

All Action, No Talk

This weekend, the Old Man and I hung out. It’s becoming a ritual. Friday night we went to the movies, and afterwards chatted over hot coco and a late night dinner. He brought up the fact that we needed to talk again, but it wasn’t the time or place. Sunday night he came over and I ordered Thai food, then we went to a concert. He’s definitely exposing me to new things. His taste in music is just as eclectic as mine, I’m learning a thing or two from him. I guess an Old Dog can teach you new tricks!!! (I know, it’s backwards)

I’ve been thinking about our “relationship” a lot lately, and I know what my problem is. I want the relationship without the emotional connection/attachment, without sex, and without the bf/gf title. I like the companionship, but I also like having the FREEDOM of doing whatever I want, whether it’s gallivanting to Jamaica for hot, sexy times, or going to the club and flirting with guys all night. I know it’s selfish, and probably self-indulgent, but I don’t want to be LOCKED DOWN or BALL & CHAINED, and more and more, I’m finding things about the Old Man that are annoying (singing off key to name one). From the beginning, I told him I DID NOT want a relationship, but given the amount of time we spend together, I can see how it could become one.

I still haven’t told him about my trip in February, during VALENTINE’S DAY weekend with Brian!!! I’ve been hinting towards it, but I don’t want him to get the wrong idea about me and Brian. Although I think Brian is hot and sexy, and there was a time when I wanted to rip his clothes off, and ....ooops, anyways, I don’t look at Brian that way anymore. I know way too much about his little trysts with his portfolio of various women, and I can’t see myself jumping his bones anytime soon...I digress. I want to be honest with the Old Man about my trip, but I don’t think he’d understand...

An Update of Sorts...

Ok, so much happened last week, I need to give somewhat of a blow by blow update


Tony - We haven’t talked since our fight. No text messages, no phone calls. I’m on the fence about it. On one hand I don’t give a F, but on the other hand I want to “close” the chapter, because I don’t want any random text messages or calls to surface later. I guess I don’t really have anything to say to him, but since we have a habit of running into each other, I don’t want it to be awkward...


Mr. Henry - He called me a few times last week and yesterday. I still haven’t seen him since his death, sometime in October. Yesterday he asked me if I still had company. I told him yes. Then he was like “oh, I was going to see if you wanted to come over”. I told him even if they were gone, I couldn’t move after being up and outside in the cold all day. We talked a few more minutes and hung up. Even if I DO decide to see his stupid ass (I know that’s not nice), it won’t be at his place or mine. It will have to be in a public place, with lots of people around...


Brian - Brian met me and some of my friends out on Friday night. We had a freakin’ ball. Then Sunday night he and I went out, we are two peas in a pod, can’t get enough of hanging out!!! We had fun. I didn’t make it home till about 3:30am. Our plans are set for Jamaica. Sunday he told me I’m going to see a different side of him, that I never seen before.

Me: Oh, lord, you mean it gets worse?
Brian: All, I’m saying, is I’m gonna have fun
Me: What happens in Jamaica stays in Jamaica

I decided, that even if he tries to, no matter how hard it is (no pun intended), I can’t/won’t/will not go there with him...wish me luck...he’s still sexy to me...



The Old Man - So I had family to come in (and are still here) for the Inauguration. I told the Old Man this, and told him, I probably won’t be able to hang out with him. Wednesday of last week, we made plans to hang out on Friday (with my family of course).

Old Man: What did you tell them about me?
Me: Nothing
Old Man: Well what will they say when we hang out? Who is Mr. Benjamin? What will you tell them bout us?
Me: What did you tell your sons about me?
Old Man: I don’t talk to my sons...
Me: Well then, there’s nothing to tell them. We’re just hanging out. I think it’s about time for another talk of sorts...
Old Man: You’re right

Friday night my family got in, and they didn’t feel like hanging out. So I made plans with some friends and Brian, but I told the Old Man everyone was tired (I was, it WASN’T totally a lie) and that they didn’t want to go out and lets hang out on Saturday. He kept saying how he wanted to spend time with me, I told him he knew I may not get a chance to see him with me having company, but we’ll all hang out on Saturday.

Saturday comes around, we talk, and I tell him our plans. We’re going to hang out in an area with a lot of clubs and bars, and we are going to start at this club that’s free and was advertising free drinks for an hour. And if we aren’t having fun, we’ll leave and go somewhere else. It just depended on what my family wanted to do. He tells me to have fun.

Me: What you’re not coming?
Old man: No, I told you I wasn’t
Me: You told me you wanted to hang out
Old Man: You said you didn’t know what you guys were doing
Me: Yes I did. I told you we’re going to hang out at a club...ok, whatever. Bye.

Halfway through the night, the Old Man texts me to see how the club is, and if we are having fun. I text him back to tell him, I’m disappointed that he didn’t want to hang out with us. He texts me back and says I’ll feel better later...whatever that means.

When we get home that night after hanging out at three different clubs, there’s a bag on my porch (that says Happy Birthday). Inside the bag is a wrapped gift and a card that simply reads “Kitten”. I get inside and open it up. It’s the book I wanted. ( I LOVE PRINCE) I text him and tell him thank you, that it’s late and I’ll call him.

I call him the next afternoon letting my gratitude rain down on him.

Me: Thank you so much honey, you didn’t have to do that. Stop buying me stuff. You already paid for dinner and the spa. My birthday is over.
Old Man: I told you I wasn’t done with you, it was all part of the plan. That’s why I wanted to see you on Friday...so I could give you the gift at the “Prince” party
Me: Awee, that’s so sweet, but I don’t want you to buy me anything else. Ok?
Old Man: Well I have one more thing planned for you.

Jamaica: Third Time's A...

So I made it back yesterday. They say, the third time is a charm, but mine was between Purgatory, Heaven and Hell, if I were Catholic. Don't get me wrong, it was relaxing, as I laid on the beach everyday, and even went on a date, but it was F'N boring this time. It wasn't the party on wheels fun that I had the first two times and have come to expect and enjoy. I guess a near drowning experience, lack of NYE Action, getting the 3rd degree by Customs and the lack of (fill in the blank) can do that to you...so I give it a:

3 for Fun
5 for Beach
7 for Food
10 for Friendliness
10 for Great Weather Everyday

I still love Jamaica, and will be back with Brian next month, so I have high hopes for the 4th time.

When I got back on US soil, I talked to a few people, including Old Man Benjamin, Tony & Mr. Henry...guess who came over and just left about 20 minutes ago???

New Year, New Theme Song

It's not really my style to make a ton of New Years Resolutions...you know the one's stop drinking so much, go to the gym more, don't go out with old people, stop drinking so much (yea, that's a BIG one for me)...

Instead I try to practice things throughout the year & to make life-style changes. And although it's a new year, and I'm sure I can have some "new beginnings" my resolution is to not make resolutions!!! (I never really do anyways)

Instead, I'm going to "enhance" my already adventurous life with some new things...the first one being a new theme song!!!

While laying on the beach and going through my MP3 Player, trying to listen to songs and music I never listen to, because I usually skip right to the Reggae or Prince...I came across a legend in his heyday....when I first brought his CD, I was like WTF. But then I just listened to his musicianship, and came to realize, this man was freakin great...

So my new theme-song is "Stone Free". This is my perfect song, because so many people (some friends) are fucking (I'll tone down my language this year) judgmental. And while laying in my chair, sipping my green rum spiked drink, this song was playing...I had to listen to it a few times...and I decided, the honors go to Jimi Hendrix... "Stone Free" to do what I want.....

Happy New Year, see ya in a few days with updates!!! I love Jamaica...

Jamaica, Jamaica... Addicted

I'm off to Jamaica, for my much needed and much deserved vacation. I can't promise that I will be an angel, but I do promise to be fun and safe and to return... (unless some beautiful man kidnaps me!).

When I return (just in time for my b-day!) I hope to be well rested and ready to take on 2009!

Before I go, I have a few confessions to make, well not a few, just one really BIG one (no I DID NOT get LAID):

I talked to Mr. Henry. After consuming a bottle of champagne ... (I know, not good), I made the call. He's like a BAD habit that you have to work really hard at to get rid of (some habits that come to mind are drinking, smoking, eating too much, smoking CRACK)... I promise to do better, it's just hard with my choices (or lack thereof right now)...

He gets me and I get him. It's hard to throw 8 years away... we were like a common law, DYSFUNCTIONAL, Bonnie & Clyde (without the killing, but with great sex) in denial duo...

I think Jamaica has the cure... see ya in 2009!!!

All I Want For Christmas...

All I want for Christmas...is to get rid of this awful cold...

Six days from now, I will be in sunny, beautiful, Jamaica (for 7 days!) for a much needed vacation. This isn’t the trip with Brian in February...instead it’s a “Girls” vacation to ring in the New Year right!!! I’m so excited and am so trying to get rid of this cold/flu that has had me down for the last few days!!! Being sick, sucks major A.

The Old Man has tried to get my spirits up, but between work, the cold, dog sitting, and everything else, I haven’t been in the mood to see him. He gave me the disclaimer months ago that he doesn’t do Christmas and not to buy him anything...so I won’t. I’m not even sure if I even want to spend it with him (I won’t be going home). We have plans to see a movie or something tonight, but, I’m not sure what I want to do. Tony has called me a few times last week, saying how much he missed me, and he wants me to see him perform tonight... I may just say no to both of them and crawl in my bed...

In Other News

My birthday is coming up in two weeks. I started making plans on how I’m going to celebrate. The Party Girl, will fall off the wagon by this time I’m sure! Thus far I am celebrating at my favorite club/lounge. I sent the E-vite out on Friday. I contemplated on who to invite, and I decided to invite a lot of guys, including Mr. Henry (for shits & giggles), don’t ask me why, I don’t know...maybe I miss him, maybe I’m a glutton for punishment. I also invited Brian, Jason, John Q, the young boy and some other friends... I haven’t decided if I’m going to invite the Old man or Tony yet. I can invite one, but not both...