Monday, December 28, 2009

8 Days, 12 hours, Or Something Like That....

Post-Holiday Update: Last Weeks Date

Actually my holiday really hasn’t started quite yet. Before I give you the goods on Mr. H, I forgot to tell you about my date last week. It was ok...maybe that’s why I forgot to mention it. Nothing exciting. Just drinks with Chris. Remember him??? Yeah, I know, it’s been awhile. We keep in touch periodically, but nothing worth mentioning in general. No sex, no romance, nothing worth jumping up and down about. He’s nice enough, just no chemistry.

Our date was kinda like running into an old college friend, and then saying, “hey we should have drinks sometime”...but then you go & have drinks, and wish you could take it back. Something like that....

In Other News

Jason & I played phone tag one day last week. He left me a cute little poem on my voice-mail. Actually it was super corny, but I loved it! I wish I could play it for you, cause as soon as I heard it, I died from ingesting too much air laughter. Jason is such a sweetheart. He’s at home, so we haven’t hung out, but it was nice talking to him.

In Other, Other News

The 30 club is sending my membership card in like 8 days. I’m getting a little excited. #neworleanshereicome

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Weekend Update: Man of the House, He is Not...

His Slow Death, Has Been Fast Tracked...

So Mr. Henry & I have had a slight fight, i.e. parting of ways, i.e. lovers quarrel, i.e. he's in time-out for the umpteenth time. It pretty much stemmed from a little lot of selfishness on his end. Sorry to all you Mr. H lovers, but, let's keep it real. Mr. H and I aren't good for each other. (Although POW swears we are going to get married.) I think the history and comfort, and freaky shit keeps us going back for more. Like when he's good, he's not that bad. But when he pisses me off, it's only so much I can take before I reached my piss-tivity limit. Here's what happened.

Friday night, he wanted me to trek to his place to "fold sheets". By the time we actually got it together, the 3 ft. blizzard predictions had actually begun to come to fruition. I told him, that I wasn't sure how bad it was going to get and that I would prefer he come back to my place, because I had stuff to take care of in the morning, if the weather permitted He agreed. We stop and get food and drinks, and settle in for movies and a "sheet-folding marathon".

So Friday night, we fooled around but didn't have sex. I wake-up Saturday morning, and lo and behold the weathermen were actually right. Mr. H wakes up a little cranky, because we didn't make it a homerun night. He requested sex and breakfast. Houston, we have a problem. I didn't make it to the grocery store, so my fridge is bare. I tell him I'll throw something together, but I wanted to see how bad it was, because, I had stuff to take care of for my business.
I go out, and see that the snow is piling up on my porch. I decide to play super-diva, and start shoveling the snow. Mind you it's like 9 in the morning, and it's still going strong. For every patch I got done, it was covered about 10 minutes later. My neighbor comes out and we both shovel and chitchat. About 30 minutes later, I go inside and am a little peeved at Mr. H. He's sitting on the couch scratching his balls, watching t.v.

Him: What happened to breakfast

Me: Uhhh, are you f'n serious??? You coulda cooked. Why didn't you come check on me, or come out and help. You are so fucking lazy. I can't believe you just sat here the whole time & watched tv.

Him: Uhhhhhh, no one told you to go out and be superwoman. I just got up, and I've been calling the airline to check on my flight but couldn't get through. You said you were gonna cook, not go out & shovel snow at 9 in the morning

Me: My neighbor came out to help me

Him: You didn't give me a chance to get up and get dressed.

Me: You have to shovel my car out. I can't believe you

Trust me, this was only the beginning, to be continued...

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Late Night Quickie Update:Snowed In With Mr. H

Well not snowed in yet, but close. He's asleep and I'm wide awake. Sigh. I know I've been MIA, but work & life and more work had me tired the last few weeks. It's almost over...

So here's 3 quickies in no particular order.

1. Mr. H & I have been spending a lot of time together lately. He spent the night three times this week, and I spent the night at his place once. I'm not ready to do the relationship talk thing, I'm in chill mode. We've been down this raod & quite frankly, I like where we are at right now...although there is one thing I haven't told him, which is...

2. I'm going to New Orleans to party with Brian my birthday this point, no one else is going.

3. Miss you guys too!!!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Weekend Update: F'N Wagons

I spoke too soon. Me going without vodka, is akin to me not breathing. It doesn’t make since. Suffice it to say, I fell this weekend. Hard. Damn Wagon. Oh, and while we’re at it. I might as well make my other confession. I seen it coming a week or so ago, when we hung out, and I held out. All this weekend he continued to wear me down. I tried to be strong, I did. But, when he asked me to wear my “tall black boots” I knew I was doomed. He tried to pull out all the stops too, candles, full body massage, extra foreplay....Mr. H, Mr. H. Don’t ask me what we are doing. Even I don’t know at this point. It’s like a really good shoe sale, you know you need to walk away, but you can’t. You’re addicted to shoe shopping....sorry that’s the only metaphor that I could think of!

In Other News

I’m thinking about going to New Orleans. Brian and I texted and talked Friday, and he suggested it, since my birthday plans aren’t really going as planned. Small little secret. I’m scared as shit. I haven’t seen him since this summer, and well. We talk, but neither one of us have talked about THIS.

Friday, December 4, 2009

7 Weeks, 5 Days, Going Without

5. So I have given up all things drinking for the month of December. Don’t laugh. I can do it. Remember that one time I went 17days....the main reason is my b-day, the other reason is my last drinking bout. I had waaayyyy too much in like the course of two hours, get this at brunch! I don’t want to look like one of those women who have been drinking every single day at breakfast, lunch & dinner, when I’m 40. So, no more vodka, at least for the next 30 days!

4. Mr. H and I hung out last weekend, Saturday night & most of Sunday. We went drinking (that was second time that day) and then he spent the night. I really didn’t want him to roll over & play hokey pokey, so I decided to sleep on the couch. Around 4am, he came & got me, and took me back to my room. He tried to pull me close & I moaned and pulled away. He tried to rub my booty and I scooted away. In the morning, I got up before him & jumped in the shower. Later that day, he asked why I didn’t accept his love-stick “gift”. I gave him the brush off...

3. I’ve been extremely busy after work. Hence the hiatus.

2. Brian sent me a random text on Monday, asking me if it was my birthday & how my Thanksgiving was. #random

1. Jason & I have been playing a little tag. We were going to try to hang out, but both have conflicting schedules as of late. We talked randomly this week, and I found out, he wants like a million kids. We all know how I feel about that....

P.S. I think I might give up love-sticks too. It’s been 7 weeks, and I haven’t been horny, not once...well maybe after my vivid dream last night. Oh & when I worked out with my trainer this week. Oh & when I....never-mind

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

REPOST: P.S.A: Shedding Light on Scary Words

I originally posted this in March, today seems appropriate to re-post.

"It's time for another P.S.A. Don't skim, read it. Damn it." - Diva

There aren’t too many things that scare me. Spiders, nope. Monsters under my bed...nope. Having dreams about running in a naked marathon...not so much. But who knew that there would be three words, (sometimes four) that scare me. Or rather three acronyms.

Last week, and the week before last, I was obsessed. I tend to do it atleast twice a year. Stay up surfing the net, googling, and reading all of the latest info. Then talking to the nurse about new statistics...Diva, what are you talking about??? HIV, AID's, STD’s. Yep, those words scare the shit out of me and it boggles me, why they don’t scare other people. I mean, I would have to question someone who is more worried about getting preggers (or getting someone preggers) than catching one of these three letter words. Or maybe they do scare people so much, they can’t even bring themselves to utter the said word. So lets say it: HIV, AID's, STD's...

I remember the first time I went to get tested. My gosh, it was the longest 3 minutes and the longest week of my life.

I go into the center and am the only person there. This attractive counselor meets me and starts asking me all kinds of questions?

Him: Do you use needles

(In my head) - Do I look like I use needles?

Me: No

Him: Do you have multiple partners

(In my head) - How dare he?

Me: No, I’m celibate

Him: Have you engaged in sex with men, women or both?

(In my head) - WTF???

Me: Men

The questions went on & on. Then we did the oral swab (OraSure) and it was done. Just like that. But not quite. I had to wait almost one week for my results. That was the LONGEST week of my life. Someone calls me from the office, “can’t you just tell me over the phone?” - no, it’s policy, you have to come in, the voice replies.

I go in, and am forced to wait in the office. Then I’m called to a smaller room.

My heart stops beating. I can barely move. I feel like I could pass out at any moment.

The same counselor that did the swab is reading something to me. I don’t know, I can’t hear. My eyes are blurry...then he hands me the paper.

Him: Are you ok?

Me: Yes, I was just scared?

Him: Well you are ok, you’re negative. In my eight years of working here, I can count on one hand how many times I had to give bad news, and they were extreme cases. Just be sure to be safe, use protection and to get tested every 6 months to a year.

My heart started beating again. That was the year I stayed celibate. I was so utterly terrified, scared, and petrified of those scary acronyms...

Educate yourselves, use protection, get tested.

Start here:

(The fourth scary word is unrelated, another blog another time)