After 6 weeks of not having any sexual stimulation (besides my weekly visits to pornhub) I had (safe) sex on Saturday. Let me re-phrase that, I had safe wack sex on Saturday. It was so wack I was mad. It was so wack, I contemplated all of the things I could have done. It was so über wack, after I kicked him out, I was up pondering what it is I want (from the male homo-sapien species). I always come back to the same conclusion. I want Great (AMAZING) monogamous safe sex, with someone who is hot, with occasional exchanges of witty banter and some chemistry, without the emotional attachment (right now), oh and to go out occasionally and that’s it. It’s possible. I’ve done it before. I recall some amazing times in college, and a few not too long ago. I don’t think I’m asking for too much (ok, maybe a little, but still). I just can’t do the emotional thing right now. I really can’t.
Yes, I know, it’s a slippery slippery slope, but there are things not related to dating, that I need to work on, and if I add developing a ball & chain relationship to the stack, well it just doesn’t sound appealing nor does it work in my favor. See I have a list of things I want to do, and I can’t really do these things AND develop something special and exciting with a potential...but am I supposed to suffer sexually, for wanting to work on my life??? Like isn’t it enough I hate my part-time job (yes, I know, I only have to suffer 25 hours a week, but they are the longest 25 hours ever). Isn’t it enough I’m trying to work on my business endeavors, apply to grad school, work on myself, and figure out how to take off for a year and travel...
Lack of good sex + lack of job satisfaction+ saving + working on business and career goals+balancing a social life+ trying to apply to grad school + working on me = MADNESS
No sex??? That’s like punishment on top of punishment.
Side Note: I did the celibate thing on and off (the longest 13 months), and the quantitative results are still the same, sexually frustrated(End Side Note).
So I need something else to look forward to besides my upcoming trips and scheduled fun (the countdown begins). Lack of sex, un-happy with job, still trying to figure out direction of businesses, and career....well that just sounds like semi-hell, and I don’t wanna participate anymore (besides great sex is a good stress reliever). This form of punishment reminds me of the days my mom would ban me from the TV and phone. Isn’t it enough that you already banned me from the TV, and now you want to take my only way of communicating with the outside world away??? Yes, although I always found ways around it (light up phones worked well in the dark once you turned the ringer off), but still, it was a psychological punishment that worked, ok I digress...
Back to this sexual “relationship”... it’s a bit of a conundrum. I guess I’ll head to the toy store until I can find a suitable solution...
In Other News:
The other days that made up my weekend weren’t soooo bad. Thursday...I can’t remember, I’m sure it involved vodka. Friday involved wine & vodka, a cool lounge in Adams Morgan & meeting three guys. Two of the three were cool. Let’s skip the details on Saturday’s debauchery...and Sunday was business stuff. Devin and I were going to meet up, but we didn’t. Oh, Brian & I exchanged a few text messages and an e-mail...
I need a vacation...I can’t wait for my first trip...Boston get ready!
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8 comments:
hey girl
i done been decided that I wont willfully hold on the sex (ie like when some women want practically a proposal first) but when I find someone who, well, basically can do all that you are lookin for..then Im good
I hear you
i feel for you. it definitely sounds like you're going through a lot right now. it can get crazy out there in the world and you definitely need to have an outlet. you mentioned traveling, but is there any other passions you have that fulfill you?
lol its been so long ive reclaimed my virginity lol lol (in actuality its been abt 2 months but still its been rough)...im pretty much lookin for the same thing and its becoming more and more difficult to find someone who fits the bill and its sooo frustrating but im tryin my best to be patient lol...good luck with everything
damn dc. sucks to be you (no pun intended). i've been there before. bad sex is the worse. also, you know its really bad if a guy thinks its bad because a woman has to get almost everything wrong for a guy to think she is wack in bed. oh well.
also, i remember you were so against porn. now you're on there weekly? i'm shocked.
i guess we both struck out on saturday. after i saw that bad harry potter flick. i had some bad jug. so bad like so bad haha
like he was all the things i don't like sexually in one.
you might have to do like the rich folks and pay for it. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa if you can get what a person pays for like an escort without paying let me know.
@ True - *sigh* when I come up with a solution I think I'll package it and sell it to all the single women...(that's my business side kickin in lol)
@ Mr. Nicholas - yes, but my other likes involve spending money, shopping, eating out, going to the spa, going on trips, lol...um, no really. I used to be passionate about some things, but right now I feel like I need something that doesn't require a lot of thinking. Just kinda mind numbing....maybe I should take up playing video games...not
@ Amber, first, welcome - 2 months!!! Well it might as well have been 2 months for me, lol. It felt like 2 months. Granted I've been celibate a few times but that was because I made the effort to be...
@ Tunde - lol. Ummm yeah, it's like a car wreck, I don't wanna look, but I can't help it.
@ MLM - I never heard the name "jug" before in regards to the "car going in the garage", lmao... uhhhh sorry. I know how you feel!
I know how you feel, but mine was really inexperienced, lol. Did you actually throw him out, though? That's hilarious!
I understand your plight, though, and I hope you find what you're looking for, without any more abysmal sexcapades while you're lookin':oP
"No sex??? That’s like punishment on top of punishment."
I remember feeling this way, too, while I was single and trying to get my shit together. I never planned on meeting A.P. and it was totally random, and I love him to death, so it worked out, but boy before I did, I craved the same thing you're talking about. You'll get it, you just have to weed out the bad ones.
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