Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Since You Asked...

Hmmm. This was a bit long to post in the comment section. It's my response to Anonymous's comment below.

Anonymous said...
Maybe it was just you. Im noticing a trend in your dates. Can you guess what the common denominator is?

Well Anon,

Maybe it was me, but if it was, why did HE text me and say he had a good time and wants to do it again. If it's not there, it's not there.

I notice a trend of Anonymous people trying to impart their wisdom on blogs. I DO appreciate your comment(s), but you should elaborate and impart you infinite wisdom upon me...really...really... I'm waiting.

Of course, anyone who follows my blog, and who reads ALL of my posts knows that I blog about my dating experiences in Washington DC, hence the title DC Dating Adventures. If I wanted to blog about other peoples adventures in dating, I would have named it as such, so yes, I blog about MY dates, hence the common denominator is ME....I'm not blogging about yours...

In my blog, I do not male bash, nor say I have some secret infinite knowledge on sex, love and relationships. I do not blog and say I am looking for a husband, or long term significant other (at this point), nor do I blog and create a long list of unheard of and quite frankly stupid deal-breakers. My blog serves the purpose of posting about the funny, not so funny and just downright "I can't believe that happened" of my dating life. It's my online diary so to speak, and I go back and read past posts and comments often just to see if I could have done anything different, or looked at the situation differently (Brian comes to mind).

Anonymous, if you read my blog from the beginning to the end, you will see that I'm open to race, age, educational background, career background, and more than enough idiosyncrasies, that guys I date tend to have. I often give guys another chance (and another) to see if it really is there (Mr. Henry & Tony come to mind) and I often try to see beyond the person on the outside and look at the core (The Old Man comes to mind). No one is perfect, I sure never claimed to be.

As my Dad once said you may have to kiss 1,000 frogs before you find your Prince (as well as not to put all my eggs in one basket), so therefore I'm not jaded or delusional about dating.

I have quirks, just as everyone does, but more times than not, the guys I date just aren't for me. I don't think I'm asking for much when I want someone who can make me laugh, or who is intelligent and can hold a conversation, and hasn't JUST been released from jail. I'm not asking for much when I want someone who doesn't live at home with their momma, or has multiple kids. I'm not asking for much when I want to go on a first date with a guy who doesn't think it's cool to get drunk. I'm not asking for much when I want to date someone who is not married or engaged or seperated, but not divorced.

I've always said on my blog and in comments of other peoples blogs that Chemistry is extremely important to me. I don't care if the guys I date went to a particular school over another, nor do I care about the job they have or the car they drive, or whether or not they are wearing the latest and greatest from Armani Exchange or another sweatshop clothing line.

See the thing is Anonymous, I'm pretty grounded and laid back. I know who I am, and am still adding to it. I'm working on me, while simultaneously being an entrepreneur, volunteer, and having fun. I'm digging within my true core to determine what makes ME happy, while developing my communication skills with friends and family. I'm constantly reading, researching, and improving my skills, whether it be in the bedroom or the boardroom. I know my faults and I work on the outer and the inner on a DAILY basis and I would hope that everyone does the same and never settles for mediocrity.

Let me impart a bit of knowledge on you Anonymous, since I am in the giving mood.... CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE, CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

Thanks, that's all.


Anonymous said...

diva can i ask you a question? (ha) why are you dating if you are not looking for a long term relationship anytime soon? i like that you are humored by your situations and don't let them bog you down about mankind and men like it does me. ha however, are you just saying you don't want anything serious when inside you really do? your actions speak for you. i believe you have a good sense of humor. that's why i visit. you appear as that woman that doesn't let men in and doesn't get hurt. just my observation. sometimes i think you are wasting your time but it's your time. plus i'ma hypocrite with that thought. anywho, i like you and enjoy reading your experiences. you are having a good time. for me it got old. you make me reflect on a an almost less painful time.


That's a good question MLM. For me right now, I am evaluating where I AM and where I WANT TO BE. Things I have done and things I want to do. Sure I can do my evaluations without "male companionship" but that would be boring. I love men. I love laughing and flirting and going out. I like a lot that comes with dating, however at this time, I'm just not ready to get married. If any of the guys I dated asked me that, I'd tell them. In fact that was a large part of the last conversations with the Old Man (although for different reasons I couldn't do it anymore). Of course things happen, and may blossom from something, and I'm opened to that, but I would never force the issue. To me dating & romance should be fun. Will there be ups and downs, and minds changed. Of course, I change my mind constantly, however you have to live for you & do what's best for you. Right now this works for me, when it stops working, I'll change...

If you need solo time to heal, you do that, if you need solo time to reflect, that's good too. Ultimately we control our lives with the things we say and do, but we have no control over other people. That being said, everything I do, and will do from here on out, I have to think of how that's going to "make me feel" or "effect me". It sounds really selfish, but if I don't put myself first and take care of myself, love myself, treat myself right, no one else will.

I know I told you this on your blog, but read The Secret. It will help you to channel your thoughts and energy and your negative views, and will help you to focus on the positive

Unknown said...


I must say I am one of DC Dating Divas biggest fans well, because she, like me, can date and not be all hard pressed for a man or looking

Im dating or hanging out with guys rather and I simply dont want a relationship (just got out of a wack one)

People have a hard time accepting that not all people want the same things in life.

Besides, u never know whats going to come. SHe may find her soulmate or whatever while not seriously dating

keep bloggin dc diva


Aweeee, True!!! Thanks (don't make me catch a tear at work!).... I will and I am.

(what did people do before blogging existed)

Chaotically Calm said...

Diva it's never a waste of time if you had fun and learned something from the experience. Personally I love the blog, you give me things to think about in my dating life. So keep doing it you do it so well and not to mention when the right one comes and it's right for you, you will be open to it.

Anonymous said...

Yea I feel you. The biggest thing I learned is what i can and can't deal with. You can control for the most part what someone does to you. I don't judge you I respect you. I have loads of issues. I have too many expectations. Working on them. I do need to get back to me alllllllllllll about me. But damn I get so lonely. I want to get married. New attitude.

@true2me i feel the same way but there is that part of me that wishes i could just bounce back and meet the right one this time around.

Unknown said...

I also hate that people think you have daddy issues or committment issues or some kinda issue because you want to date around or hang out and have fun

stuff like "you puttin up a defense wall"

and "deep down inside all women want a relationship" and crap like that
I truly hate that stuff...

StudentOfLife said...

Love your response and wholeheartedly concur! Dating doesn't have to be about the destination but completely about the journey and learning what you do and don't like in a partner. That knowledge is priceless and will serve you more when you're ready or 'the one' creeps up and surprises you.


Welcome Student of Life & Thanks. I don't expect everyone to agree with me, it's just how I feel, and you're right, it's about the journey, and to add to it, the destination is the result

Marty J. Christopher said...

Anonymous can suck it. Dating sucks. Period. It has nothing to do with you. If I had been blogging before I met A.P., my blog would have read much like yours. You're not the common denominator. That's dating! You go on a ton (and I mean A TON) of bad dates, and then you find someone who isn't awful, and then hopefully later you find someone who is great. Nothing to do with you AT ALL. Don't listen to the haters, Diva!!