200th Post The Swap: Gross Generalizations I Know

Today is the 200th post here and it's time to shake things up. I want to introduce you to a non PC, single black male dater in the DC area. He's a straight shooter, who blogs about everything from sex to movies, to the do's & maybe nots of fwb relationships. He proves to us, that women aren't the only one's who suffer through horrible, someone please come save me dates. I bring to you, Dr. J of The Book of Jackson.


Gross Generalizations I Know by Dr. J

Decided to do a blog swap this week and let Diva take the reins over at TBJ and I would do something on her blog. It never gets boring, but sometimes we all need a change of pace. So this seemed like a viable solution, anyway I'm glad I was able to stop through and show some love.

I am often accused of being bougie, I still don’t know what that means. Most times it’s used to describe my actions, or my insisting on doing things that are probably unnecessary to them, but are necessary to me. An example would be, I go out to eat a lot, sometimes by myself, I will put my entire evening on hold to have a sit down meal because I do not like to rush when eating. I also think places like Chili’s, Friday’s, Ruby Tuesday’s, etc. should never be the location of any meal that I’m having alone or with the company of a young lady. It’s just so common.

I should have known that Never Again and I were not compatible from the beginning because of the circumstances of which I came to meet her. I met her; 1) At a club, 2) I was drunk, 3) She kept asking me for my statistics, and 4) She was wearing a body suit, maybe cat suit is more appropriate. I decided to take the girl out because I’m not really good with phone conversations, so I suggest a weekday evening, at a small off the strip type place called, Perry’s. BEFORE, we went there, I told her, this is one of my sushi spots and I come here often because I know a lot of the staff and they know exactly what I like. (You see how I gave her a clue that this establishment and me already had an existing relationship?) BEFORE, we went there, against my better judgment I told her a lot about the place and the clientele because I’ve been on a few dates lately where the shorty was just tremendously inappropriately dressed or didn’t know what to expect. So I basically was like, it’s a rooftop jumpoff with a young, hip, typical Adams Morgan crowd. BEFORE, we get there I told her that although I usually am seated as soon as I arrive, I’m making reservations that way there will be no need to wait, and I’m making them for 8PM.

FFWD: At 8:15PM, I send her a text that says, “Did you fall in?” She replies, “LOL, no I’m heading out now. I’ll be there in 15 minutes.” (Dique.) To myself, I’m like plus you have to find parking, plus you’ve never been here before and it’s not easy to find. You’ll be here at 9PM. But I’m like, nah chill Doc, you’ve been told a lot lately that you need to chill on your expectations that females be on time. She shows up at 9PM… She has on an Ed Hardy tee shirt, and like a dress that looked like overalls, and a pair of pumps. I thought that perhaps she planned on going to Love afterwards. I’m already on edge, but I’m patient.

During our meal and conversation, here are the highlights;
1) She has no clue or interest about politics. If Obama was not Black she probably wouldn’t know anyone who was running for President.
2) She hates how people act all “bougie” and stuck up when they come to places like the place we were at. (I think by bougie she meant speaking in a low voice because only the people at your table need to hear you.)
3) She kept ordering Crown Royal because she couldn’t figure out any of the other specialty drinks and she didn’t want anyone putting anything in her drink.
4) She insisted that we check out Evolve after because they have tight music and she knows a couple of the guys who promote there. (It’s a weekday and I’m in a shirt and tie. No bueno)

I took away a few things from this encounter. Gross generalizations I know… if you want to be treated with respect, be respectable. She was well mannered and very appreciative for everything, but she just didn’t get it. It’s like she missed the bus and it won’t be back for a long time. (Sidenote, one of my friends insisted that the issue was she was from PG County and not Mont. County where girls with class live.) Be on time, be appropriately dressed, adhere to some social norms, and most of all feel out the temperament of the person you are with before jumping off the deep end. Her biggest weakness in all of this was that she kept telling me I was acting bougie and reserved and she never noticed that maybe that’s how I am, and the rest of the restaurant was too. She stood out so much to the point that the next time I went to Perry’s as soon as I walked in the manager was like, “Who was that you came here with the last time?!”

And you know I started dreading that meal and the fact that I’d have to pay for it at 8:15PM, and she did nothing to pull herself from the hole that she had dug. Leaving that date, I had no interest in pursuing anything else with her. What I will tell you is that, I could write a book on the amount of bad dates I’ve had exactly like this one. And lastly, the problems expressed in this post, are recurring problems with several of the dates. This should be a topic for the next, For Sisters Only concert at the Convention Center.