Rum, Revelations & Relationships

I’m back from vacay...relaxed, kissed by the sun, and ready to get the year started off right! A little over a week ago, I celebrated my 31st birthday in the Dominican. Between drinking Mamajuana’s and laying on the beach, I began to contemplate what I want this year in terms of well - everything. On my b-day I received like 20 missed happy bday text messages, from guys from the past (Klein, Old Man) and guys from a possible future (Donny & Damien )


With school getting back underway, I’m not 100% sure I want to get into anything too hot and heavy. Yet, I’m kinda ready to take another stab at the R-word. Hours after my arrival back stateside, I spoke with friends, fam & Klein. We haven’t spoken or seen each other in well over two-months. I told him I was kinda suprised he remember it is was “mi cumpleanos”. We caught up, he made a couple of flirtatious remarks...then I decided to causually ask about the chick I ran into him with. He confirmed it’s his latest main squeeze. He went on to tell me she’s a lot like me. Like ALOT. It’s kinda weird, why would you date someone “just like me”? After I got off the phone, it had me thinking...do I miss him, or the idea of him?


Mr. Henry missed me. A LOT. He wanted to see my sun-kissed skin. He pulled out all the stops. Massages. Kisses... and well...more attention than normal. He had the key to my place for two-weeks. I asked him about it once...he sort of “forgot” to give it back. Then I made it cyrstal clear on where he needs to leave it. He knows where I hide it though. In determining my future, I have to decide whether I am going to allow him to contiune playing house with me. I guess I have to sit down and dig deep, and stop playing the fence.


I met some other randoms over the last two-weeks. All of them under 25. I should be flattered, that they think I’m 23 pushing 24. But I’m kinda over the young’uns after my experience with Klein. Speaking of which, something funny with one of them happened this weekend. I think PATT & her new bf are slyly trying to set me up with her bf’s friend. A huge group of us went out this weekend (including schoolboy Donny) and PATT & her bf tried to make sure me & the friend played together...a lot. After the party, Donny went home, while the rest of us partook in the early sober-up breakfast fare. Afterwards PATT, her bf, & “the friend” stayed at my place. I woke up to him at the foot of my bed...he was a perfect gentelman (and I made it clear that if he so much as took his jeans or shirt off I was going to cause bodily harm). The next day I went out to her bf’s place for dinner & they conviently invited “the friend”. Oh & by the way, “the friend” is cute...but he’s 24.


After dinner, I fought icy roads to get back to the city to pick up Mr. H at the Metro. He came back to my place. He asked me how my time out with PATT was...I did not tell him about the impromptu sleepover he would have gotten the wrong idea and flipped the fuck out. We have to have a serious talk...

Weekend Update: I Surprised Myself

Wow. Just wow. Today is day 8 of no vodka. I must say, I'm really quite proud of myself. I might reward myself with something special...like vodka. I went out Friday with Devin. First we went to this little jazz spot. We're sitting at the table, and he orders a drink he's quite proud of. He asks me if I want to taste it. I decline, then he nearly forces it down my throat (peer pressure). And you know what? I said fuck NO! Ohhh, but I wanted some. After we left the jazz spot we went and smoked hookah for a few hours. You know what goes well with hookah? Vodka. Yep, you can pair vodka with about anything. So we're sitting there smoking, talking. He's drinking, and I came so close to ordering a glass of red wine, a shot of vodka...vodka and wine together, but I didn't. We hung out the whole evening and I did well. I deserve something.


Saturday was even better. I ended up meeting P.A.T.T out, there was an open bar. Free top shelf whatever you wanted. Free. Totally f-r-e-e. I resisted. Damn, I'm good. And I'll be even better in six and a half weeks when I'm looking hot in my two piece on the beach. Speaking of P.A.T.T, the convo between us has improved. It's been strained the last month or so, but it's gotten better. Not like it used to be, but better.

Sunday was relaxing. I talked to Brian. Our first conversation since the "e-mail". We talked for almost half-an hour. Just like nothing ever happened. It was like I took a little vacation, got back, and we picked up right where we left off. Sunday must have that effect on people, because I spoke with Mr. Henry as well. Pretty much our first conversation in a month too.

Tonight's agenda...salsa.

An Update To The Update

So, after I went on my e-mailing spree on Monday. A few things happened and didn't happen.

Update #1 - He (the name I promised not to blog about anymore) did e-mail me back. I posted what he said verbatim in the comments. I'm not mad about it. In fact, I thought it was a decent response, considering my left-field timeliness. In retrospect, I think to some extent during our last week we were both (maybe me so more than him) faced with the reality that he was leaving. As I said before, he told me he was mad at me on Thursday, & I at him on Wednesday, then we went on the spree of "get it in before you leave"... I never went into our friendship wanting or expecting more, nor do I want it right now. It (the L word) just hit me out of nowhere like a 10 ton elephant high off of poppy and laced peanuts. All in all, I think I am cool with the outcome. I feel like I can finally sleep a little bit better...I'm sure once time has passed, we'll talk...(I think).

Update #2 - PATT. I e-mailed her on Monday, and we went back and forth trying to counter our points as to why the other person shoulda coulda woulda. All in all I think our points of views are both valid for different reasons. Sometimes we (people) become so self absorbed in our own problems and issues, that we momentarily forget other people are going through it too. We still haven't verbally talked, however she attempted to text me today, and I responded with a call, and she responded with a text. I'll keep you posted...

Update # 3 - During my e-mail binge, I also gave Tony & Mr. Henry a huge piece of my mind. Both for different reasons...guess I was just letting it all out. Neither one responded. My text to Tony was basically because of the fact that he was harassing me about wanting to see me and spend time with me. When I finally caved in and agreed, he went MIA. I tried to be delicate in my response, because he IS on meds (Did I mention he is crazy), however, don't grovel and beg and say you want to spend time with me, then when I carve out a time, and we agree upon it, you go AWOL?...NEXT!

Update #4 - Devin and I are going to NY tomorrow. This time we actually (were not cheap) booked a room. A few things I forgot to mention about him, besides the fact that he sorta works for me. I've know him for two years now. He knows all about Mr. Henry & Brian. (He's met Mr. Henry & knows him through working for me) During last week's 9 hour bus ride of a nightmare to NY, we had nothing but time on our hands. Actually before the trip, we would keep up with each other a few times a month. So it's not anything that's new or a possible, nor do I want it to be... (side note: as his sorta boss, it's sorta inappropriate as well)

Update #5 - Finally finished that "Things To Do Before 30" list. Let's see if I can accomplish it, in 6 months...

Diva's Before I Turn 30 ... Sexy To Do List
(January 6, respectively)

Take Vacations To:
Vegas (booked it)
Boston (booked it)
Dominican Republic (booked it)
Cancun (pending)

Personal:
Save $5,000
Get Back To The Gym
Pay Off Credit Cards

Professional:
Apply to Grad Schools
Work On Business(es)
Apply for International Volunteer Programs

Extra Fun:
Try Something I've Never Done Before... (still thinking on this one)

The Post You’ve Been Waiting On....The End Of Brian (1 of 2)

I promise, this is my last last post about Brian...well I don’t mean promise per se, but well I do. This past week was an emotional rollercoaster. Like I knew it was coming, but then again I didn’t. I really don’t know where to begin....

Wednesday Night - I hung with Brian and was irritated. Him and his roomy were getting on my nerves, I was PMS’ing, (damn mother nature) and was forced to face the fact, that I really couldn’t put my finger on why I was mad at him.

Thursday Night - Again we hung. I found out Saturday, that this was the night Brian was mad at me. I had no clue. I didn’t do anything differently, he tried to explain it to me, but well...*shrugs*

Saturday Night - I wanted to hang with him, I did, but I was so tired from my trip that I just crashed...

Sunday, now this is where shit gets interesting. I decided to be the sweet Diva, and to hold up part of my end of the bet we made a few months ago. I got a card, put half the bet money in there and a picture of us in Miami, I didn’t write any sappy comments, cause that’s not my style, but Brian appreciated it, and laughed at the fact that it was just half of our bargain. We started the night out in Georgetown at a bar, so things are good, conversation, drinks....and BAM, out of know where guess who was there??????. Brian pointed her out to me.

Brian: There’s your girl

Me: Who

Brian: Your girl, there in the black....you see her

Me: Damn

Side Note: At this point, we still haven’t talked, and I never got around to sending that e-mail...until this morning (End side note)

I had no choice but to walk pass her. I stop we all say hi. She introduces us, then Brian & I head to the other side. Awkward...Brian said it was fake.

Brian: I take it you guys haven’t talked

Me: Yep

Brian: That was fake

Me: Why’d you have to go rain on my parade, I was cool until you pointed her out

Brian: You need to just tell her

Me: I will. I started the e-mail, I just didn’t finish it. I just don’t feel like dealing with it right now....but I will...


We stayed at the bar a little longer, then left and went to another bar (to be continued...)

Slutbuckets & Lost Keys

I decided if... ( A BIG IF) I go to New Orleans next week to hang with Brian, I would may at some point tell him about my previous crush on him, despite his slutbucket, male whore-ish ways. I didn't have a crush on him because he's a slutbucket & I want(ed) to test the one eyed monster in his pants. I had (key word: HAD) a crush on him because of conversations we had. I had a crush on him because he pushed me to run when I was ready to quit when he was my work-out buddy. I had a crush on him because he's all about self improvement and happiness. I had a crush on him because he was about educating self and learning about every religion and everything, whether it's a conflicting belief or not. I had a crush on him because when I called on him in the fall to help me at an event, he came through for me. Mr. Henry's trifling ass, whom I've known 8/9 years longer than Brian never called back.

I had a crush on him because of the way his eyes lit up when he talked about his daughter, and the patience he exhibited no matter how many times she called him "Daddy" when she was here, but didn't have a follow-up sentence. I had a crush on him because he accepted my, drunken dancing on the stage almost nude ways and didn't judge me in Jamaica. I had a crush on him because he slept next to me when I was ten sheets to the wind, naked and horny, and "respected" me. I had a crush on him because he talked up my fabulous-ness to other people in front of and behind my back.
I had a crush on him because when I called him at 2:30 am yesterday, he hopped on his motorcycle and came to the rescue, despite the fact that a best friend who is now obsolete, never even called me back this weekend in regards to me being locked out, with no place to go, and having something to do that was majorly important on Sunday.

I had a crush on him because of our similar backgrounds and when I told him that a family member close to me has a gambling problem and I cleared my 401K for them, he was understanding and supportive and offered words of support and wisdom. Despite his slutbucket, male-whore-ish ways, Brian is a good dude. I feel comfortable and safe around him. Even when I was rubbing his back while he was throwing up his Corona's & Long Islands from the night, before I tucked him in...that he was a good friend.

Yea, I'm seriously thinking about telling him about my former crush on him. But I will probably sober up chicken out and keep it to myself for eternity.

In Other News Not Related To Dating:

I haven't talked to P.A.T.T. since Saturday. She (the first female) earned a spot in the Do Not Answer slot in the silver bullet (my cell phone). Here's the story. As I said before earlier, I was in a rush and locked myself out my apartment on Saturday afternoon. As soon as I realized my absentminded-ness caused me to be homeless not able to get into my place, I called and texted P.A.T.T. because she had my spare key (which I usually keep in my truck, because of scenarios like this). In anycase, I told her I was headed to Brian's BBQ (invited her) and that I was cool for the time being, but to let me know where she would be so we could meet-up. The biatch, girl that I thought was one of my BFF's, responded back and said ok. After a few hours at Brian's place, I text'd to see where she was at. She was 30 minutes away from D.C. but she said didn't have the key with her. She said she probably left it at her Dad's place or in the car of a married man whom I suspect she use to tango with in the past a friend's and that she would try to contact him. A few hours later I text/call for an update on her location and the location of the key to my love shack beloved apartment, and she then responded that she was in Baltimore and she apparently couldn't get in touch with said friend.

Side Note: Not a likely story since her & said friend seemed to be attached at the hip for the last few weeks, the way Brian and I have been. I digress.

Through-out of these calls and s.o.s messages, I made it be known that I HAD SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO DO ON SUNDAY, and that I needed to get into my place.


Long story short, she never got me my key, which resulted in me sleeping on Brian's couch and calling the former Russian Mafia locksmith guy to drill a hole in my lock. 48+ hours later, still no word, no call to see if I was ok, if I got in, if I pissed on myself & needed a shower. Nothing. So she's in "the box" with a lid on it.

Time-Out Box

So this week(end) was f’ing interesting on so so so many levels. Everything from locking myself out of my apartment (twice), to Brian being so drunk, he decided to “take a little nap” on the streets of Georgetown at 2am on Saturday, to me putting Mr. Henry, P.A.T.T. and Tony in the “time-out” box, here’s the summary of my 5 vodka filled days (6 if you count tonight):

10. If I owned stock in vodka, any brand, even Popov, I’d be rich, albeit, I’d drink most of my shares...

9. Hung out with Brian Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and last-night. Spent the night Saturday night...

8. Tony text me Friday & Saturday wanting to “see” me. We had so many random conversations about “us” and seeing each other. I don’t want to “see” him like that

7. P.A.T.T. is the first to enter the ‘time-out” box this weekend. Saturday at 1pm, I realized I locked myself out of my apartment. I call/text and send flare messages, just short of calling the National Guard, to get my extra set of keys from her. Long story short, the biatch (yes, that’s not Diva like) never came through. Sunday morning, I flushed $139.00 down the toilet, just so the locksmith could get me in my place.

6. Brian had his going away BBQ Saturday. Hung there, then he & I hit the streets of Georgetown later. We go to our trusty faithful, and he either got roofied or can’t hold his liquor (that was a first). He decided to pee outside, on M Street (the main walkway), lay down on the concrete, and throw-up outside of his apartment building...(the night didn’t end there, tell you about it later)

5. Friday is a blur. I had so much fun, I sobered up towards the end of the night, when this guy “insisted” on taking me home. Being the quick, clever, ultimate smart chick that I am. I tricked him. I sent him back in the club to get me some water. As soon as he was out of eyesight, I hailed a cab and took my ass home...

4. Guess, dude didn’t have “hard” feelings. The next day he called me and said that was hilarious. He came back out with the water, and said I “disappeared".

3. I forgot to mention on Thursday night, Brian was flirting with me too, when I was sandwiched in-between he and his roommate in the cab. I told them, and I quote “I’m not fucking you guys”. Roomy was “offended” and said that, no one even mentioned sex...but you were thinking it, dude. His Roomy ended up leaving Friday & not staying for Brian’s going away party....that was lame...

2. Mr. Henry was the second to enter the “time-out” box. I was telling him about me being locked out of my place & the whole P.A.T.T. situation. He asked me where I slept, and I told him on Brian’s couch. He said, “you didn’t sleep on the damn couch”. I told him I had no reason to lie. Had I not said anything he would have never known...

1. Last night after Brian and I chilled. I dropped him off. 2:30am locked myself out my apartment again! I called him and he saved the day. I need some Ginkgo Biloba, stat

Something's In The Water....Again

Tonight was one of those RARE nights I decided to stay home and pretend I'm an adult. You know, taking care of business, bills, apartment, etc. (although I spent most of the night catching up on blogs!). But everyone & I mean EVERYONE either called or text to see if I wanted to hang out, or to ask me where they should hang out, or to see what I was doing:

Tony-Texted to say he was thinking about me

Mr. Henry - Sext Messages all day and flashbacks to Monday and this past weekend

Brian- Wanted to see what I was doing and after he found out I was staying in, decided to stay in too

PATT - Was at Stir and wanted to know if I wanted to join her

Guy Who Intervened A Few Weeks Ago, re sandwich chick - Called to see if we could get together

Latino Papi Alex- Texted to see where he could hang tonight and to see what I was up to. I told him to go to Pure Lounge for salsa & hip hop, then we chatted about meeting up soon.

Co-worker - Asked me at a work event today if I wanted to go salsa dancing tonight

Wow, when I decide to stay in and "chill", everyone wants to do something....classic. So for my blogger's/followers who live in the area & want something to do tomorrow, first if you haven't checked out the Eyespyz do so, then here's my short list for things to do....

Diva's Off Beaten Track of Things To Do:

Silverdocs - Film festival in Silver Spring

Buck Naked Bike Ride (courtesy of SBMinNOVA) - Saturday, 3pm ride nude & cover your jewels, slightly... (UPDATE, I'm late on this one!!! It passed)

The Artomatic - DC Free Arts Festival, featuring various works of art on display and for purchase

Salsa Congress - Watch salsa, learn salsa, dance salsa all weekend long!


And Now, On To The Watering Holes:

U-Street Neo-Vibes
Marvins - Cool, non-profit, granola eating, world peace crowd, who does things like Peace Corp, and tree hugging
Alero - Margarita & bar specials, cool meet the co-worker there after work vibe
Jin - $5.00 apps & drink specials 5:30 - 8:00
Pure - $1.00 drink specials from 6-9. Cool beats.
Bohemian Caverns - The name says it all, love the decor though. Sometimes they have cool live musical acts


K-Street Junkies (Party Vibes)
Lima
Tattoo
Lotus
The Park
K-Street Lounge
The Eyebar (a block over)
Josephine's (a few blocks over)
The Shadow Room
Ozio's (on M Street)


Sports Bar Atmosphere:
The Rocketbar - Gallery Place Chinatown
Buffalo Billiards - Dupont Circle
Recessions - 18th & L downtown area
Penn Quarter Sports Bar - Near the Archives Metro Station
The Lucky Bar - You may not get lucky, but it's near a few strip clubs, so you can pretend (Connecticut Ave.)
The ESPN Zone - enough said.

Adams Morgan - So many Cool Places, Not Enough Hours In The Night
Bukom - West African food, live Reggae band
Left Bank - Had Brazilian night on Friday
Hookah bars - Enough said
Chloe - Young, college crowd that likes to dance
Columbia Station - Cool live jazz music
Havana Village - Sexy Salsa

My advice for Adams Morgan, just walk around & bar hop, you never know what you'll find. Over 50 bars (I think) in the area


That's my PSA for the year....if you live or have lived in the area, add to it? Where do you go?

Freaky Friday (Was There A Full Moon???)

“I only like two kinds of men, domestic and imported” - Mae West


I’ve said before how much I love men... all types. Well men (and some women) love me too! I had a pretty eventful Friday. I ended up hanging solo. P.A.T.T. backed out at the last minute & Brian went home for his daughter’s birthday, while other chick friends were out of town or missing in action.

Side Note: Pre-Brian and Post P.A.T.T. leaving for NY, I used to hang out quite often solo. Chick friends come up with so many excuses, i.e. “I’m cramping”, “My head hurts”, “I don’t have anything to wear” or my favorite “It’s raining”. So rather than sit at home and wait for someone to stop being wishy washy...I fly solo when needed, but I digress...

So anyways, Friday was... well here’s what happened.

5. I went to a Brazilian dance party in Adams Morgan. Tons of fun, and somehow, the island men always sniff me out. They assume I’m 1) from the islands and 2) don’t believe me when I tell them, I was homegrown in the States...in any case, this island guy was Old. Caused me to have not so yummy flashbacks of the Old Man. After shaking him and his entourage loose, I bar hopped to my next spot...

4. Stumbled upon another bar with cool music. Chatted with people. Everyone that I meet when I’m solo, is in such “awe and amazement” that I have the balls (figuratively speaking) to go out solo (Diva style). Most of the girls say they wish they could do that, and the guys, just think it’s pretty cool, and give me cool points.

3. Went back to the Brazilian dance party...(the lead singer was cute...couldn’t help it)

2. After consuming my max on vodka & limes, I walked past a food spot that looked good. Stopped in and got a sandwich. As I’m sitting there this chick tells me how good my sandwich looks. Thinking nothing of it, I go on to adamantly exclaim, how it’s “sooooooo good”. Then she stairs at me a little longer:

Chick Girl: Yeah, you’re making that sandwich look soooo good

Me: (wiping the extra sandwich sauce from chin, cause it was messy) Yea, it’s really good, you should get one. It’s chicken

Chick Girl: (walks over to me, looks at sandwich) Yeah, it’s sexy. You’re making me hungry

Me: (I’m still eating)

Chick Girl: Can I have a bite?

Me: No

Chick Girl: (laughing) what’s in it? Are you alone?

I tell her. Her male friend/cousin/ whoever comes and intervenes (saves me) and talks to me. This isn’t the first time a chick girl has “flirted” with me. I wonder though, don’t gay men & lesbians have “Straight-dars”. I know I have a “Gay-dar” (Disclaimer: Sometimes it doesn’t function properly, you know, mistakes straight for gay & vice versa). In any case, I’m comfortable enough in my womanhood, where it didn’t bother me....but I have to wonder...what the hell was she thinking? Oh well...I guess I’m flattered men & women like me (I think)...


1. Tony and I talked on the phone all night Friday.

Two Ways to Take It

He started again. Brian. Ass smacks. Now, it's been awhile, (i.e. at least 7 months or so) I'm going to just blame it on the alcohol, because really, I don't know how to take it. Last night, we, along with P.A.T.T. went out. We danced the night away (literally). So here's the funny thing, maybe it's not that funny, but Brian had out of town company visiting. A girl. And...he left her at his place. Friday, he told me he was sick of her, and couldn't wait for her to leave...Last night, he left her. So when I asked about her & what was going on, he said...and I quote..."I'm done with her" (end quote)

Damn.


In Other News

I met this guy (whose name I can't remember) and, I don't know if I was seeing things, but it looked like half of his gums were split. Think dentures on the top, but for half of the top row. I can't explain it. It reminds me of this one time, when I met this guy with coke bottle glasses. I have no problem with guys who wear glasses, in fact, the right pair, is sexy, but I digress. So anyways, it wasn't just his glasses, that were bad. It was everything. But, when I met him, I had vodka goggles. So later that week, he calls me, we set up a date, and on my way to the meeting spot, I walk pass this guy. I see him, but I divert my eyes (eye contact, gets you in trouble) and silently pray it's not him. I walk in the place, sit down, and order a drink. I'm watching guys come in, about 5 minutes goes by, and the "No Eye Contact Guy" walks in. (Shit) Then he walks straight towards me, and low and behold, it's the coke bottle glasses guy!

I smile, and we exchange pleasantries. So there were some other things, that the vodka made me forget. He had a glass eye! And his other eye, was cockeyed! So at this point, we're talking, and I can't help but to look at him. I'm all for eye contact, but I didn't know what to do!!! I'm not a rude or superficial person, so I try to make the most of the situation. I pick a spot on his forehead, so it looks like I'm looking at him while we converse, without being rude.

So aside from his glass eye, which I could have gotten past if he was sexy, his conversation was LAME. He said he was a music producer, and he was working on his music career (like whatever dude), and the list goes on...

So yeah, that's who the guy I met this weekend reminded me of. This time I didn't have vodka goggles. More like tequila.

Festive Friday

OMG, I was soooo glad to be back on Friday, you have no idea! I love my family, but after being stuck in the sticks for 5 days, I welcomed the sirens, metro's opened doors and the nightlife. I realized I am somewhat of a "quintessential party girl". No I don't party every night or every weekend, but I need to know a party is going on somewhere. I need to know that I have options if I choose...when I was at home, the options were slim to none. Kind of like the Detroit Lion's winning, I mean losing streak and I can't have that!!!

P.A.T.T was in town for the weekend visiting her family. The plan was to go salsa dancing...and guess who we went with? Yep, the Old Man. He picked us up, and we headed out for a night of good times. So P.A.T.T. is the first one of my friends to meet the Old Man. We get in the car, and I look at her to see what her reaction would be...she smiles. Later on, I had to get a second opinion.

Me: So does he look old?

P.A.T.T.: No, he doesn't look the way I imagined him

Me: What did you think he looked liked?

P.A.T.T.: I thought he'd have grey hair & look older

Me: Really???

P.A.T.T.: Yeah, but he looks good for however old he is, how old is he again?

Me: 56

P.A.T.T.: Damn he's old...He looks like he could be in his forties