Rum, Revelations & Relationships

I’m back from vacay...relaxed, kissed by the sun, and ready to get the year started off right! A little over a week ago, I celebrated my 31st birthday in the Dominican. Between drinking Mamajuana’s and laying on the beach, I began to contemplate what I want this year in terms of well - everything. On my b-day I received like 20 missed happy bday text messages, from guys from the past (Klein, Old Man) and guys from a possible future (Donny & Damien )


With school getting back underway, I’m not 100% sure I want to get into anything too hot and heavy. Yet, I’m kinda ready to take another stab at the R-word. Hours after my arrival back stateside, I spoke with friends, fam & Klein. We haven’t spoken or seen each other in well over two-months. I told him I was kinda suprised he remember it is was “mi cumpleanos”. We caught up, he made a couple of flirtatious remarks...then I decided to causually ask about the chick I ran into him with. He confirmed it’s his latest main squeeze. He went on to tell me she’s a lot like me. Like ALOT. It’s kinda weird, why would you date someone “just like me”? After I got off the phone, it had me thinking...do I miss him, or the idea of him?


Mr. Henry missed me. A LOT. He wanted to see my sun-kissed skin. He pulled out all the stops. Massages. Kisses... and well...more attention than normal. He had the key to my place for two-weeks. I asked him about it once...he sort of “forgot” to give it back. Then I made it cyrstal clear on where he needs to leave it. He knows where I hide it though. In determining my future, I have to decide whether I am going to allow him to contiune playing house with me. I guess I have to sit down and dig deep, and stop playing the fence.


I met some other randoms over the last two-weeks. All of them under 25. I should be flattered, that they think I’m 23 pushing 24. But I’m kinda over the young’uns after my experience with Klein. Speaking of which, something funny with one of them happened this weekend. I think PATT & her new bf are slyly trying to set me up with her bf’s friend. A huge group of us went out this weekend (including schoolboy Donny) and PATT & her bf tried to make sure me & the friend played together...a lot. After the party, Donny went home, while the rest of us partook in the early sober-up breakfast fare. Afterwards PATT, her bf, & “the friend” stayed at my place. I woke up to him at the foot of my bed...he was a perfect gentelman (and I made it clear that if he so much as took his jeans or shirt off I was going to cause bodily harm). The next day I went out to her bf’s place for dinner & they conviently invited “the friend”. Oh & by the way, “the friend” is cute...but he’s 24.


After dinner, I fought icy roads to get back to the city to pick up Mr. H at the Metro. He came back to my place. He asked me how my time out with PATT was...I did not tell him about the impromptu sleepover he would have gotten the wrong idea and flipped the fuck out. We have to have a serious talk...

This May Come As A Surprise...

Last week was a rough week for Klein. He hadn’t been dealing with his mother’s illness very well. We talked a few times during the week, and one night he came back to DC to handle some stuff. He spent the night and we talked and played hokey pokey. He got up and left and called me later to tell me about her condition. Me being the exceptionally great person that I am (ok...well at least I think I am), I offered to drive 4 hours to a) support him and b) meet his mom, since she’s been asking him when she was going to meet me.

He was shocked, floored & amazed. He told me how much that meant to him and laid on the compliments and praises the rest of the convo.

I really didn’t know what to expect. You know, I mean, if it were the other way around, I’d want a friend to offer moral support. In fact I would do that for any of my close friends...I guess I didn’t quite understand the magnanimity of my actions, or rather what they meant to Klein.


He asked me to be his girlfriend.

Oh and he dropped the L-bomb.

I'm In...The Baby Pool

Prelude to a kiss communication...

So, I was kinda (key word kinda, ) wrong... bare with me as I explain. The biggest issue I had with Klein the last two weeks was communication, or lack there of. In the beginning everything was rainbows, cupcakes and sunshine, then all of a sudden, one day it was like Thundercats. I mean he went from calling me and following through, to me not even getting a return flair message.

First problem (technically speaking strike 2)...so remember the whole debacle with his no show, and in the comments last week, I told you that his "excuse" was "falling asleep"? Well, we had a long convo, about communication. i.e. Just tell me, you can't come, aren't going to come, or have no intentions of coming (all puns a coincidence). He said he understood. We laid in bed & talked, yes that's all, fell asleep...then had our morning snuggle and both went about our weekend.


Then nothing for a few days. No calls, flair signals, nothing. Then it went downhill. We literally haven't seen each other for almost two weeks...which is weird, because we live a hop, skip, and a jump from each other.


Side Note: It's 3:16AM, so I'm sure I'll wake up and read this and have a WTF was I trying to say moment...I'm baring it all :End Side Note.


So last week, I tried to break it off via text...sue me, what else could I do, I tried calling him, and that wasn't working, seeing as how we were having "communication" problems. Upon receiving "break-up" text, he immediately and I do mean immediately called me back. We had a long talk, and I thought everything was going to be ok. (Mind you at that point, it was a week since we seen each other).

Three days later...still nothing and by nothing. I mean, no seeing each other, no convos, no make up sex, text, s.o.s messages. I mean at this point, Mr. H was calling me and "checking" on me daily, which was driving me crazy, because he hasn't had the pleasure of sniffing my love muffin, and yet I couldn't even get a 140 character text from Klein.


So finally I was just like eff it. Went out with the chick friends...had fun, then 2:30am...the tequila hits me. (Did I mention I switched my signature drink for awhile??? Top shelf margarita's)


I made the the Drunk break-up call... (he didn't know I was drunk which I must say, I hid pretty well) I started the call with - "I can't do this anymore"....then I don't remember what I said after that, all I know is, we didn't quite "end".


Frustration resumed, then he finally calls me this evening. His mom is in intensive care.

I'm there for him as much as he needs. He called me again, and I woke up to talk to him. I reassured him, that I will be there for him, he just has to let me, and I can't be there if I don't know what's going on. So now it's 3:40am and I am getting in the the pool.

One Foot In, One Foot Out

Relationships are like peanut butter....sticky, chunky, fun to play with, unpredictable... - Diva

Klein & I are not in a relationship, but we’ve had our share of issues the last week or so. Initially, I was trying to distance myself from getting too involved. You know, have fun, make it a light spring/summer fling. Still hang out & do my thing...hmmm, my plan for ultimate one sided domination didn’t quite work out.

It’s a case of girl meets boy, boy professes his love for girl, and girl is torn...that’s where it’s at right now.

I have one foot in, and one foot out, debating on which way to go.

Maybe I’m speaking in circles...but hell, I really don’t know what box to put him in yet

Atlanta, Extremist

Having Fun...

Klein and I have seen each other almost everyday in some shape or form. We've done everything from casual hanging with friends, to impromptu home visits, and talk/make-out time. No test-driving of the goods yet...He's a great guy as I've said before. The only thing that bothers me is his extremist religious views...I'm not exaggerating, he's not a bible thumper, trying to convert me type guy, however he thinks his religion is "the truth". Oh and he is trying to get me to stop eating bacon...and all things pork. I happen to like salami or a really good bacon blue-cheese burger...


In Other News:

I'm going to Atlanta this weekend for a girls weekend. Hmmm, never been, don't really know what to expect.

I Do, But I Don't. The Abyss

Relationship vs No Relationship

Everything including what happened last night/this morning, has had me thinking; from Mr. Henry, to the Old Man, to Tony, to my Jamaican friend… to comments (commenter’s), as to why I AM NOT ready for a relationship. I want one (EVENTUALLY), don’t get me wrong, but I DO NOT want the stuff (emotions) that goes with it…


The Diva’s Relationship Pro’s & Con’s

Pro’s
Sex at my disposal (Just kidding….no I am not)
Spending Quality Time with Someone I Care About (uhhh, I care about all (most) of the guys I date)
Stability (whatever that means)
Sharing ( you know, the long pillow talks, after sex are my favorite, it’s like you’re naked & you have nothing to hide…you’re vulnerable…or at least basking…)
Emotional Connection (uhhhh)
Romance (the kind that is in those movies Hollywood has tricked us into believing)

Con’s
Emotional Attachment (emotional insanity)
Not Being Able to Date or (heavily) Flirt with other Guys
Becoming Monotonous (Boring)
Settling Down (What if there’s something better?)
Not Ready (If 30 is the new 20, 29 is the new 19 right?)
I'm scared (seriously)


One doesn't outweigh the other. Am I missing something, is there something (someone) that will compel me to take the plunge?