Vodka, Big Hands & Naps...Not In That Order

Some interesting and not so amusing things happened to me this weekend, mind you my weekends start on Thursday, sometimes Wednesdays, depending on the week. In any case, here's the top 10 in review.

10. I started Thursday night with happy hour with my co-worker/friend from a volunteer project, "Jason". When I first met him, I thought he was cute and despite our age difference we had a lot in common (he's 3 years younger). With time, it wore off. Now, well I think he's..."different". His drink of choice, a Midori Sour. After one, he said, he was "feeling it". What? Are you serious? I know he's not a drinker, I would have preferred he just opt for a coke or water. But a Midori Sour??? He made me feel like a lush for drinking wine!!!

9. Jason & I ended our, "happy hour" around 8. I wasn't ready to go home, so I called Brian to tell him I was headed to his place. For the first time in weeks, I took the Metro. I get off my train, to transfer and this sorta cute in the face guy stops me. He follows me up the escalator and asks me for my number. He pulls out his cell phone, and lo & behold it's Cartoon hands!!! Shit, it's a small world! He doesn't recognize me (I think). I gave him a fake name & number. Blame it on the...

8. Still on Thursday. After finally making it to Brian's house, I hang out with him, his roommate, and his friend. Remember, the cocky guy? He's was here visiting for the weekend. My intentions were to hang out at Brian's for a second then head home. Somehow, I ended up back at the lounge Jason and I were at earlier, although I knew I had to go to work in the morning...

7. Friday was such a nice day out, although I really wanted to stay home, I really wanted to go out. Again, you know who I hung with...it's becoming a bad habit to break.

6. Saturday morning, I get a morning wake up call at 8am from Mr. Henry. Who in the F, calls that early in the morning on a Saturday??? Don't they know, I'm a (recovering) party girl? I push ignore and try to go back to sleep. I can't. Damn him. After showering and getting myself together, I return his call.

5. After spending 4 long ass hours with Mr. Henry, it's about 2:30 in the afternoon. I have things to take care of, and want to get a nap in before my evening festivities. I tell Mr. H, I'm going home to take a nap.
Mr. Henry: Yeah, a nap sounds really good right now.

Me: You want to take a nap with me?

Mr. Henry: You know I can't lay next to your booty

Me: It's called self-control. Besides, didn't you just say, you were too lazy, when it comes to women?

Mr. Henry: That's different.

Me: Oh well. I offered. I'm soooo tired.

Mr. Henry: You know, I will come over

4. Mr. Henry comes over. He tosses and turns and is moving waaayyy to much. In my head, I'm thinking it was a bad idea. Then, he tries to horizontal dance. NO. He tries again. NO. He tried again, and finally I say, "No, it's tempting, but no thanks". My nap is ruined. He's pissed and doesn't talk to me. I drop him off at the Metro, thank him for lunch. He slams the door. I said a nap. He heard sex. Nap does not = sex. Both three letter words...but not equal.

3. Still on Saturday. I went out with Brian & his friend. I get to the club first. As soon as Brian walks in, he gives me a huge hug, like we haven't seen each other in years! I pull the SweetDiva card and buy him and his friend a drink as soon as he lets me go. His friend is amazed, and I earned cool points with Brian! At the end of the night, he gives me another huge hug!!!

2. Apparently I was really feeling my vanilla vodka & lime's, because a new guy I met last night, sent me a text, and said I told him, I like to get Pedicures and go to the spa. He told me, he'd love to do that with me this weekend.

1. Saving the best, or almost amusing for last. Tony called me Tuesday night after 1am. I told him it was "late". He called me last night at 11:30. I ignored his call. Well, somehow his number was in my phone at 2:30am, post bar, post 5 or 8 vodka & limes. I don't remember what I told him...blame it on the...

Tainted Water

I'm convinced the government has put something in the water in DC. Maybe it started out as a social experiment then somehow mutated and got out of hand; then they jumped ship and left us to deal with it. That's why I drink bottled water from France...no tap for me. I don't want to catch what's in the water...

Why the rant? Because Cartoon Hands (Carl) sent me a F'n picture of his "johnson" out of nowhere.

I swear to you, I did not give him any signals, key words, or indication that I wanted him to send me yet another picture of himself...especially his "johnson". We've never had phone-sex, never talked about sex or body parts...hell we haven't even had our 1st date yet. Damn, I know I haven't had any in awhile but WTF? WTF?

Don't drink the water in DC...

"Inner Hooker"

Last night was almost amazing! Actually it was amazing. I went out and had a blast. While most girls were bringing out their “inner hooker” in sexy costumes…I opted to wear my old cheerleading uniform from high school! Yep…I still got it, and filled it out a lot more than I did 10 years ago! I’m happy I decided to skip hanging out with the Old Man. I ended up meeting a few potential new daters, danced all night, and made it home by 3!!! What a Friday, I wish every Friday was a costume party!

Today is such a nice day out. I don’t know what I want to do. Do I hang out with Old Faithful, or do I hang out with someone new. Cartoon Hands (Carl) called me earlier this week and wants to do something. Also, Latino Papi has been trying to see me for the last week…what to do, what to do???

Nightmare on Hand Street

So the last few days have been quite interesting. I talked to "Cartoon Hands" aka "Carl". The first night he called me, it threw me off guard. I almost didn't know who he was. The conversation was brief, but he started displaying early signs of weirdness.

Carl: So do you remember me?

Me: Yes

Carl: Do you need me to send you some pictures?

Me: No, I remember you.

Carl: Well I am going to send you some. Do you have any?

Me: Uh, not on my phone, I really don't take pictures of myself with my camera phone.

Carl: Ok, well I'm going to send you some


He then proceeds to send me not 1, not 2, but FOUR pictures he took of himself with his camera phone at various angels, including one without his shirt. I forwarded them all to P.O.W. and P.A.T.T for "shits & giggles". Not because he was unattractive, in fact he's kind of cute. I just have a problem with someone I met in person, who was apparently sober, sending me 4 pictures of himself, when I didn't solicit him to. Also, it was a sign of (to me anyways) insecurity & narcissism.

P.O.W. told me I should have asked him to send me a picture of his hands!!!


Last night he called me; we had a normal conversation. But from the conversation, I realized that he's not my type. We are supposed to hang out this weekend...what to do, what to do? Maybe we should play football, with his hands he should be able to catch a boulder!


In Other News:

I talked to the Old Man everyday since Monday. P.A.T.T. seen his picture and said he doesn't look that old. Woo hoo. Maybe, just maybe...

Brian and I talked more about our upcoming trip in February. We have the date set and he doubled checked to make sure I was going to be "ok" that weekend...funny

Dirty Dancing

Last night was quite interesting and entertaining. After a great dinner at one of my favorite restaurants, I decided to go Salsa dancing. I knew Old Man Benjamin was going to be there, as we talked earlier and he told me that's where he'd be. He's pretty predictable, he goes Salsa dancing at least 4 times a week.

Before I can even walk into the door, this random guy stops me. He was cute, so I give him my number. When he's putting my number in his phone, I notice his hands. They are HUGE (not in a good way). They reminded me of embellished cartoon hands, kind of scary. Or maybe like the hands of those mascots except they did not match his body type or face...it was too late to take my number back...hmmm, is there a such thing as a hand disease?

So I get into the bar & see the Old Man dancing. He doesn't see me yet, so I sneak past him and go to the bar. I wanted to scope the scene a little, but too late; he spotted me! He was thrilled and surprised to see me. I wore these really tight pants (that showed all my curves) and an oversized off the shoulder shirt. He noticed. It was like it was his birthday all over again and I gave him the gift of Viagra!

We danced the night away. It was good. I actually had a great time. So confession...Old man Benjamin is growing on me. Here are some of the reasons why? (in no particular order)

1. He showers me with compliments
2. He's a great dancer (Salsa, Meringue, Bachata, Cha Cha, Reggae, Booty...he does it all!)
3. He has a zest for life
4. He's genuine. He'll call me in the morning to wish me a great day & tell me what a great time he had the night before & how great he thought I looked
5. He notices the little things. Like last night he noticed my earrings, and outfit, or he notices my hair, or something new he hasn't seen me wear before

In Other News:

Island Prince called me Sunday night. It was a short sweet conversation. I wonder what's going through his mind and why he's keeping the line of communication open, seeing as how he has baggage and he lives thousands of miles away? The only thing I can think of, other than our hot sexy times, is that its the "what if" factor. (another blog another time)