The Death of Mr. Henry

It is with nonchalant feelings that I announce the death of Mr. Henry (figuratively speaking) on Friday, October 17, 2008. Sometimes unmotivated and selfish, Mr. Henry, was never willing to go over & beyond for his friends, unless of course it directly benefited him.

Mr. Henry basically dug his own grave this week. On Monday I asked him for a favor. I told him I really needed his help on Saturday with something that came up at the last minute. In fact, I needed 10 people! (long story). He told me he’d think about it and asked me when I needed to know by. I told him as soon as possible. I also told him that I’d make it up to him; not that I should have to, but none the less I did.

I called him and e-mailed him almost everyday after Tuesday. I wanted to rub it in his face that Brian volunteered to help, but I didn’t. I awaited his return call. He never called, never sent a text, not even an e-mail. (Brian ended up helping me, as well as other people, including someone I met at the bar Friday night!)

This is where the jack-ass part of him comes in. As a friend (we’ve known each other for eight years) I expected him to help me out. Seeing as how the last few weeks when he wanted something I obliged him, even when it took all day (i.e. helping him shop for a new wardrobe). Granted he’d give me money, buy me something and take me out to dinner, I still gave him my time, when I had other things to do or guys in the line-up I could have seen. He would have been compensated for helping me on Saturday (which he was fully aware of), but he didn’t come through. So I had no choice but to kill him…for good.

Mr. Henry will only be missed for his sexual appetite in the bedroom. He didn’t have much to leave behind or divvy up, unless you count his borrowed camera, lacking bank account, or zest for laziness. He leaves behind a brother, a mother, and a father, who may miss his drunken phone calls at 2am…or not. R.I.P. Mr. Henry. R.I.P.