I Sure Know How To Pick ‘Em

Help! I've fallen, and I'm in Tool Hell! I mean really. My radar has been off for the last few months. (I have Brian to thank for that) Anyways, this weekend was a pretty low-key weekend, with the exception of the date from hell last night. Despite my sixth sense, common sense & gut feeling, I decided to give JB a chance, just for Tunde (you owe me one!!!). After many back & forth's and blah, blah, blah's we settled on seeing the new X-Men movie, my choice. See I figured since his conversational skills were horrid, that a movie would be the safest bet. You know, no talking...or at least limited talking before the movie started. WRONG!!!

First Impression: TOOL
Second Impression: MAJOR TOOL
Third IMPRESSION: OMG, I have to walk out with him, I hope no one sees me (yeah it was that bad)

Ok, let me back up. So JB, what can I say about him. I try to find something GOOD about everyone. I mean, something that I like about the person. Sometimes it takes me a long time, and sometimes it's just there. Well with JB, the only good thing I found, was I liked his glasses and they were perfect for his face. They were SEXY NERD, although he had no idea how to pull the rest of his outfit off. He had on long black shorts, with long black athletic socks, (I hate that) and black tennis shoes, and an army-ish looking t-shirt, The shorts looked liked wide leg Capri’s, and went well over his socks. WTF? I know we were going to be in a dark theater for 3 hours, but you'd think he'd dress better than that. To top it off, he told me over the phone, he was coming from work and had a change of clothes in the car, so he wouldn't have to go home. He should have just wore his work shit...

Lets see, what else...oh he talked a lot. A whole lot, and I couldn't really concentrate on all of the words because his breath was a bit...well...bad. Actually, it smelled like a dumpster on a hot day in July. I leaned more to left, because he was sitting on my right. I tried to make an excuse to leave & go to the concession stand, just so I could get some fresh air. He went instead, which allowed me about 5 minutes to take deep breaths with out gagging. When he came back, he had a small popcorn to share and a water for me & soda for him. I really appreciated it. But I didn't want to share. Not because I'm stingy, but I couldn't help to think where his hands had been. If he put that much thought into his grungey, backseat car outfit, who knew how much he'd put into washing his hands...

Speaking of talking, he didn’t know how to use his indoor voice, seriously. Like I whispered, just so he would follow my lead...nope not a chance. For the most part though, he was quite during the movie which was really good. And he was respectful, no getting drunk like the previous date with the other tool. The only other thing that got on my nerves besides his talking, his breath, and wardrobe choice, was the fact that he felt like he had to explain everything to me, but really he was the one a few crayons short in his crayon box. For example:

Him: Yeah, you know you would probably like Iron Man. I haven’t seen it but...

Me: I seen it, they are coming out with a part two soon...

Him: Well you know, my boy told me about it, and I was thinking it was probably about a man made of Iron, like Superman or something...but it’s not, he explained it to me and said he has a suit. I never seen it though. You know, they probably have it at Redbox. You know, the box where you can get movies, since they are coming out with a part two.

Me: Yeah, I seen it, you should see, it. Do you have Netflix

Him: No, I have this thing called a DVR, you know, you can record stuff on it, and watch it later. Because I don’t...

Me: Yeah, I know what a DVR is...

Him: Well you can record stuff on it. I don’t know about Netflix.



So, so painful. I learned my lesson. Stop giving guys my number when I’m drunk. Blame it on the...