A Witness Comes Forward...

Oh, Diva, Diva, Diva….

How do I love thee, let me count the ways…..you’ve grown into a beautiful, charming, young woman. Perhaps all those vanilla vodkas have blurred a few memories from the past.

I am one of Diva’s college roommates the one who has lived with her the longest and the one, who has settled down, got married, has the two kids, and lives in suburbia. Yes, yes, I do sound boring now and live vicariously through the trials and tribulations of Mz. Diva but I can still cause trouble if deemed needed. I don’t have a fun acronym like PATT or POW, but my feelings aren’t hurt Beeotch much!

Top 5 things I remember from our past…


5. That southern accent! Goodness, when we met it was mighty T H I C K. We used to make her say “iron” all the time because it sounded like “I-on”. I wonder if she’ll share the story about the difference between “hurry up” and “harry up”. Bwahahahahahaha


4. The nakedness….this girl loves to be naked! Don’t let P.O.W. fool you by saying this girl is naked only after drinks because if this child had it her way she’d be naked before happy hour! In our dorm room there have been plenty of times when I’ve woken up with Diva handing the phone to me stark naked.


3. I’ll preface this by saying… "WE WERE NOT GROUPIES”! We did however know a few players on our schools football and basketball team. There was one incident when we ran into a few football players at the local strip club because we were “dared” to go in and ask for a job. Then there was a brief stalker infatuation with a basketball player, Mr. P. Do you still have his YMCA card?


2. She is a “dirty" LOUD mouth talker !!! You can use your imagination on this one, what you’re thinkin’ is what this woman is sayin’. I’ve actually had to leave the HOUSE once or twice.


1. Our threesome! Ok, not really, but let me say being a Wing-woman is hard! Especially when the guy has stank breath and drinks your beer out of your cup. (I could’ve killed him!!!)


There are plenty of other stories that I do have pictures of...Galveston, TX, men washing your feet and sucking your toes, riding motorcycles, being underage and sneaking into clubs. Don’t tempt me; I’ll scan that picture of you wearing underwear as a bikini!


Love,
Breezy

One Year Anniversary - The Rebuttal

Ok, first let me preface this with “P.O.W. I love you”, but I think you’ve been drinking on the job again! Or maybe you have selective amnesia. In any case, there are good reasons the secrets debauchery you decided to reveal. Case in point, with:



#5. Ummm, I plead the 5th, unless you have pictures of said crime and furthermore I was stressed. The name we shall not mention had me stressed, college life had me stressed, so ok...I consumed like two Boonesfarm's and washed it down with Lord knows what. Why in the hell did you and Breezy let me get on top of my car??? Actually, come to think of it, where were you guys? I don’t recall. In any case that night was pretty fun! And you know what, the roof popped back into place perfectly the next day. So case solved & closed!


Oh but with - #4. I needed some fresh air, so I decided to go outside. And in my defense I was only naked under my blanket. I think you, Chuck & his friend pulled it off as I was clutching it for dear life. But at least I wasn’t the one doing cartwheels down the street naked!


And why, oh why in - #3 Did you bring up the name we shall not mention. The mere thought of him makes me want to puke. I still don’t know why that asshole rented a TV, but he couldn’t go half on food, rent, lights...so glad he got the boot and jail time


Yes #2 from what I recall was lots and lots of fun. But I don’t recall breaking my table or destroying the bathroom. Do you have evidence. Nope? Ok, then it didn’t happen!


Oh boy, I didn’t see the kiss in #1 coming. It was kinda like a “goodnight kiss” or a “birthday kiss” in any case he was a gentleman and didn’t push the envelope too much more. And as for the whole two guys in one bed. I blogged about it. Remember???


Yes, I can’t wait for Vegas either! I started mentally packing this morning!
Diva

One Year Anniversary - The Take Over

Introducing P.O.W…..

For those of you that do not know me, I am P.O.W, Diva’s BFF. I want to take this opportunity to thank you, Diva, for being such a caring, giving, loving and understanding BFF. I don’t think I could have made it this far without you.

Anyway, I am taking over Diva’s Blogspot to celebrate her One Year Blogoversary. Yes, can you believe it? It has been one year since Diva first graced us with her witty commentary and horrid dates. This year has been filled with highs, lows, smiles, cries, joys and toolery. We all have our favorite Diva moments, but I’m going to share some moments Diva did not share with you….and Diva you better post them. DO NOT EDIT!!!!!

P.O.W.’s Top Five Most Memorable Diva Moments


5. August 2001, Divaland University, The Case of the Vandalized Car

Diva got extremely inebriated and danced on the roof of her car at a neighborhood block party. The next morning she is screaming and yelling about somebody vandalizing her car. We politely told her "you did it, don't you remember"? To this day, she still doesn’t believe she was the cause of the butt print indent in her roof.

Oh yeah, and I think we made up a drunk song that night!


4. July 2001 Detroit, MI, Happy Birthday to Me!!!

There was a lot of debauchery going on for my 21st birthday. After playing truth or dare, and tons of Bacardi, I can’t find Diva so I go looking for her. She’s on the porch, "buckkid nekkid". Why? I don’t know. You have to ask her that question, but also remember I woke up at 7am looking for the liquor trying to erase the memory of the sins from the night before.


3. October 2001 Divaland University, Three Strikes You’re Out

Diva has an ex-boyfriend whose name we shall not mention. We all have a relationship that we would rather forget, a momentary lapse in judgment. This guy was Diva’s lapse. Diva and I lived in a town house with another roommate, I’ll call her Breezy. “The name we shall not mention” moved in with us (1st strike). He didn’t have a job (2nd strike). He had a big screen TV that he rented from Rent-a-Center (how & why I don't know) we kept in the living room. One day while Diva was at work, Breezy and I were watching TV. TNWSNM came in and turned the channel (3rd strike). He made a big deal about it being HIS television. Breezy politely unplugged the TV and pushed all 52’ inches on to the patio. She told him to see how well he watched his TV on the corner.

I don't remember what happened after that, but this was the same guy Diva & Breezy tried to collect the "reward" money on a month or so later. Rightfully so, I might add!


2. September 2008, Washington D.C. - Sour Sauce

Diva and I went on a double date with Island Prince and his friend Willard. It was a beautiful date with lots of food, liquor, and dancing. Anytime liquor is involved, we either don’t remember or wish we couldn’t remember what happened the next day. This time was no exception.

Somehow, Diva’s bedside table got broke and her bathroom was destroyed *cough islandprince&diva cough*. It must have been an incredible evening because the boys woke up the next day cooking and cleaning!


1. Later, September 2008, NYC - Smooches

Diva spends the evening with Island Prince in New York. That night IP’s brother kisses her. She wakes up with two men in her bed….I’ll let her tell the rest

Love ya Diva!!!! Can't wait for Vegas...

P.O.W