Update: NYE, NOLA, & Randomness

Woooowwww. 2010 is already bringing out some randomness. So, I'm at home, suffering the wrath that is mi familia, wishing I could teleport myself somewhere. And guess who sends me a text??? The Old Man. The last-time he actually contacted me was about 8 months ago. So needless to say I was quite surprised. One simple line:

"I miss my kitten. Happy New Year "

The kitten, he's referring to, yep you guessed it...


Other randomness going on in no particular order:

7. Before I left, Devin & I went to The Roots concert. Good-times.

6. NYE with POW. One word. Adventure. So we really didn't have any plans. Actually, my plan was to stay home and sleep. But POW convinced me to go out. So we get out. Listen to a band, see some randomness, then get some late night breakfast. We try to leave.....and the car breaks down. Let me rephrase that. The car breaks down, on New Years Eve, and it's like 10 degrees outside....and the adventure went down from there....I'll let POW tell you the rest. I'm still trying to recover.

5. I have only been home for 4.1 days and I was ready to go on day 2.

4. I'm having a little birthday thing when I get back to the city, then I promptly leave out again for New Orleans

3. The end of Mr. Henry....he called me to assess how mad I was, by pretending nothing ever happened. Don't worry, the rest of that is coming.

2. Island Prince John called me and asked me to come visit him for Carnival.

1. The NOLA plan: So Brian lives about an hour away from NOLA. We are splitting a hotel for the weekend, so we don't have to drive back and forth. Right now, the plan is no plan. Just hang out, drink, and have fun.....T-minus 3 days to NOLA. T-minus 2 till the BIG 3-0!

8 Days, 12 hours, Or Something Like That....

Post-Holiday Update: Last Weeks Date


Actually my holiday really hasn’t started quite yet. Before I give you the goods on Mr. H, I forgot to tell you about my date last week. It was ok...maybe that’s why I forgot to mention it. Nothing exciting. Just drinks with Chris. Remember him??? Yeah, I know, it’s been awhile. We keep in touch periodically, but nothing worth mentioning in general. No sex, no romance, nothing worth jumping up and down about. He’s nice enough, just no chemistry.

Our date was kinda like running into an old college friend, and then saying, “hey we should have drinks sometime”...but then you go & have drinks, and wish you could take it back. Something like that....


In Other News

Jason & I played phone tag one day last week. He left me a cute little poem on my voice-mail. Actually it was super corny, but I loved it! I wish I could play it for you, cause as soon as I heard it, I died from ingesting too much air laughter. Jason is such a sweetheart. He’s at home, so we haven’t hung out, but it was nice talking to him.


In Other, Other News

The 30 club is sending my membership card in like 8 days. I’m getting a little excited. #neworleanshereicome

Weekend Update: Man of the House, He is Not...

His Slow Death, Has Been Fast Tracked...


So Mr. Henry & I have had a slight fight, i.e. parting of ways, i.e. lovers quarrel, i.e. he's in time-out for the umpteenth time. It pretty much stemmed from a little lot of selfishness on his end. Sorry to all you Mr. H lovers, but, let's keep it real. Mr. H and I aren't good for each other. (Although POW swears we are going to get married.) I think the history and comfort, and freaky shit keeps us going back for more. Like when he's good, he's not that bad. But when he pisses me off, it's only so much I can take before I reached my piss-tivity limit. Here's what happened.

Friday night, he wanted me to trek to his place to "fold sheets". By the time we actually got it together, the 3 ft. blizzard predictions had actually begun to come to fruition. I told him, that I wasn't sure how bad it was going to get and that I would prefer he come back to my place, because I had stuff to take care of in the morning, if the weather permitted He agreed. We stop and get food and drinks, and settle in for movies and a "sheet-folding marathon".

So Friday night, we fooled around but didn't have sex. I wake-up Saturday morning, and lo and behold the weathermen were actually right. Mr. H wakes up a little cranky, because we didn't make it a homerun night. He requested sex and breakfast. Houston, we have a problem. I didn't make it to the grocery store, so my fridge is bare. I tell him I'll throw something together, but I wanted to see how bad it was, because, I had stuff to take care of for my business.
I go out, and see that the snow is piling up on my porch. I decide to play super-diva, and start shoveling the snow. Mind you it's like 9 in the morning, and it's still going strong. For every patch I got done, it was covered about 10 minutes later. My neighbor comes out and we both shovel and chitchat. About 30 minutes later, I go inside and am a little peeved at Mr. H. He's sitting on the couch scratching his balls, watching t.v.

Him: What happened to breakfast

Me: Uhhh, are you f'n serious??? You coulda cooked. Why didn't you come check on me, or come out and help. You are so fucking lazy. I can't believe you just sat here the whole time & watched tv.

Him: Uhhhhhh, no one told you to go out and be superwoman. I just got up, and I've been calling the airline to check on my flight but couldn't get through. You said you were gonna cook, not go out & shovel snow at 9 in the morning

Me: My neighbor came out to help me

Him: You didn't give me a chance to get up and get dressed.

Me: You have to shovel my car out. I can't believe you

Trust me, this was only the beginning, to be continued...

Late Night Quickie Update:Snowed In With Mr. H

Well not snowed in yet, but close. He's asleep and I'm wide awake. Sigh. I know I've been MIA, but work & life and more work had me tired the last few weeks. It's almost over...

So here's 3 quickies in no particular order.

1. Mr. H & I have been spending a lot of time together lately. He spent the night three times this week, and I spent the night at his place once. I'm not ready to do the relationship talk thing, I'm in chill mode. We've been down this raod & quite frankly, I like where we are at right now...although there is one thing I haven't told him, which is...

2. I'm going to New Orleans to party with Brian my birthday weekend...at this point, no one else is going.

3. Miss you guys too!!!

Weekend Update: F'N Wagons

I spoke too soon. Me going without vodka, is akin to me not breathing. It doesn’t make since. Suffice it to say, I fell this weekend. Hard. Damn Wagon. Oh, and while we’re at it. I might as well make my other confession. I seen it coming a week or so ago, when we hung out, and I held out. All this weekend he continued to wear me down. I tried to be strong, I did. But, when he asked me to wear my “tall black boots” I knew I was doomed. He tried to pull out all the stops too, candles, full body massage, extra foreplay....Mr. H, Mr. H. Don’t ask me what we are doing. Even I don’t know at this point. It’s like a really good shoe sale, you know you need to walk away, but you can’t. You’re addicted to shoe shopping....sorry that’s the only metaphor that I could think of!


In Other News

I’m thinking about going to New Orleans. Brian and I texted and talked Friday, and he suggested it, since my birthday plans aren’t really going as planned. Small little secret. I’m scared as shit. I haven’t seen him since this summer, and well. We talk, but neither one of us have talked about THIS.

7 Weeks, 5 Days, Going Without

5. So I have given up all things drinking for the month of December. Don’t laugh. I can do it. Remember that one time I went 17days....the main reason is my b-day, the other reason is my last drinking bout. I had waaayyyy too much in like the course of two hours, get this at brunch! I don’t want to look like one of those women who have been drinking every single day at breakfast, lunch & dinner, when I’m 40. So, no more vodka, at least for the next 30 days!


4. Mr. H and I hung out last weekend, Saturday night & most of Sunday. We went drinking (that was second time that day) and then he spent the night. I really didn’t want him to roll over & play hokey pokey, so I decided to sleep on the couch. Around 4am, he came & got me, and took me back to my room. He tried to pull me close & I moaned and pulled away. He tried to rub my booty and I scooted away. In the morning, I got up before him & jumped in the shower. Later that day, he asked why I didn’t accept his love-stick “gift”. I gave him the brush off...


3. I’ve been extremely busy after work. Hence the hiatus.


2. Brian sent me a random text on Monday, asking me if it was my birthday & how my Thanksgiving was. #random


1. Jason & I have been playing a little tag. We were going to try to hang out, but both have conflicting schedules as of late. We talked randomly this week, and I found out, he wants like a million kids. We all know how I feel about that....


P.S. I think I might give up love-sticks too. It’s been 7 weeks, and I haven’t been horny, not once...well maybe after my vivid dream last night. Oh & when I worked out with my trainer this week. Oh & when I....never-mind

REPOST: P.S.A: Shedding Light on Scary Words

I originally posted this in March, today seems appropriate to re-post.
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"It's time for another P.S.A. Don't skim, read it. Damn it." - Diva


There aren’t too many things that scare me. Spiders, nope. Monsters under my bed...nope. Having dreams about running in a naked marathon...not so much. But who knew that there would be three words, (sometimes four) that scare me. Or rather three acronyms.

Last week, and the week before last, I was obsessed. I tend to do it atleast twice a year. Stay up surfing the net, googling, and reading all of the latest info. Then talking to the nurse about new statistics...Diva, what are you talking about??? HIV, AID's, STD’s. Yep, those words scare the shit out of me and it boggles me, why they don’t scare other people. I mean, I would have to question someone who is more worried about getting preggers (or getting someone preggers) than catching one of these three letter words. Or maybe they do scare people so much, they can’t even bring themselves to utter the said word. So lets say it: HIV, AID's, STD's...

I remember the first time I went to get tested. My gosh, it was the longest 3 minutes and the longest week of my life.

I go into the center and am the only person there. This attractive counselor meets me and starts asking me all kinds of questions?

Him: Do you use needles

(In my head) - Do I look like I use needles?

Me: No

Him: Do you have multiple partners

(In my head) - How dare he?

Me: No, I’m celibate

Him: Have you engaged in sex with men, women or both?

(In my head) - WTF???

Me: Men

The questions went on & on. Then we did the oral swab (OraSure) and it was done. Just like that. But not quite. I had to wait almost one week for my results. That was the LONGEST week of my life. Someone calls me from the office, “can’t you just tell me over the phone?” - no, it’s policy, you have to come in, the voice replies.

I go in, and am forced to wait in the office. Then I’m called to a smaller room.

My heart stops beating. I can barely move. I feel like I could pass out at any moment.

The same counselor that did the swab is reading something to me. I don’t know, I can’t hear. My eyes are blurry...then he hands me the paper.

Him: Are you ok?

Me: Yes, I was just scared?

Him: Well you are ok, you’re negative. In my eight years of working here, I can count on one hand how many times I had to give bad news, and they were extreme cases. Just be sure to be safe, use protection and to get tested every 6 months to a year.

My heart started beating again. That was the year I stayed celibate. I was so utterly terrified, scared, and petrified of those scary acronyms...


Educate yourselves, use protection, get tested.

Start here:
http://www.avert.org/america.htm
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/stds-hiv-safer-sex-101.htm
http://www.aids.gov/
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/surveillance/basic.htm#hivest


(The fourth scary word is unrelated, another blog another time)

Friday Night Date: Ummm How Old Are You?

How can I say this nicely...his cons definitely outweighs his pros.

My date on Friday, sigh. First let me say this. There are some disclaimers and information one should reveal about themselves within the first few conversations. I know some people will disagree with me, but, my date definitely was pulling the “don’t ask, don’t tell policy” on me on Friday.

First - I was surprised by his appearance. I mean that in the nicest way. I just simply forgot what he looked liked. I’m standing at Borders, waiting for him to appear, and I’m watching all the young attractive professionals walk by. One in particular was quite yummy. And low & behold, someone’s grandpa sneaks up behind me and gives me a hug.....oh wait, it was my date! Grant....wow, what can I say??? I’m sure he could have been a cutie in his heyday, but well right now, he was a cross between Ben Franklin & John McCain (ok, I kid, I kid....but still)...

Second - Our date started out quite early for a Friday, and it went into the wee hour of 1am. I didn’t uphold my own two-hour rule. But in my defense, it was hard, because he wanted to take me around the World D.C. to all of his favorite spots. We started off by stopping at a shop to get items that we would need for the second portion of the date (get your minds out the gutter), then we headed to at a private members only club and had drinks and dinner. He showed me around, and we talked politics, work, etc. His first surprise came at ohhh about half-way through the first bottle of wine. He has three kids. Now I’m not one to discriminate against people with children, in fact I did date the Old Man who had two sons my age. I never made an issue of it. But well Grant has three moochers teenagers who happen to live with him. Now something about all of this info coming out, after I’m pretty much stuck at dinner, is fishy. Ok, you have three kids that live with you??? Hmmmmm.

Me: So I take it you’ve been married

Grant: I’m separated

Ahhhh, the moment of truth, this old fart is still married, and is obviously living with wifey and the kids. (Separated my ass) At this point he didn’t offer up anymore information. I didn’t feel like probing him, because I already decided this will be our first & last date, and since he was obviously not going to volunteer the pertinent information needed, I had no choice but to draw my own conclusion.

Third - The thing, that bothered me the most, aside from the fact that he had three and a possible on his payroll, was the fact that he was a big fat faker. I mean, he was so fake, you look up fake, and his picture appeared in color. How so? He was flashy, he was fronting, he kept bragging. He wanted me to know that he was well off. Everything came back to his job & where he went to school at. He kept saying “this is the life”, “we are living the life of luxury”. Newsflash papa, smoking cheap cigars, and eating $15.00 dinner specials are not the life of luxury in my book. Yes, we are fortunate, but stop-it. He kept telling me how he liked the finer things in life, so I decided to pull his card.

Me: Oh, you must really travel a lot, where have you been?

Grant: Oh St. Lucia and Greece

Me: Wow, Greece? When was the last time you’ve been there

Grant: Oh about 10 years ago

Me: So that’s it?

Grant: Well, ummm I like to go skiing, and I go to Lake Tahoe. So where have you been?

Me: Ohh, I’ve been to France, Belgium, Germany, London, Jamaica, the D.R., I think Jamaica was my favorite though

The look was a Kodak moment...


Oh, wait-to top it all off. He lost major points when he told me he was a Republican...so in a nut-shell, that was my date with Ben Franklin...

Unexpected Option (Part 2 of 2)

Sooo, I know part 2 is a day or so late. So much, yet so little is going on. So Friday ended with Jason and I parting ways. The weekend was simple. I had business stuff to take care of, Mr. Henry was dropping hints about “coming” over and quite frankly, I’ve just been in “chill” mode.
Monday, was very, very interesting. A few things happened, first I received a call from “Grant” a new guy that I’m going on a date with tonight. He called me on Monday to see if I wanted to go on a date on Tuesday. Last minute eh? I told him I was busy, and that Friday would work best for me (all I did on Tuesday was go to the gym, but he didn’t need that info).

Second, Mr. Henry called me to see if I wanted to go to the gym with him. (he likes to watch me on the treadmill) I declined, and told him, I was going to Pilates.

Third, I text Jason to see if he was going home next week for Thanksgiving. A few texts and a conversation later, I’m at his place taking my clothes off, just kidding!!! We decided to catch a movie yes I know we just seen one on Friday run an errand, and grab an impromptu bite to eat.


The whole time we are joking with each other and just having a good time. The weather is nice, we are both in a good mood, and he drove, so I had a chance to just be. We make it to the movie just as it’s starting, so we sat up front. Throughout the movie, we make little comments to each other, at one point he grabs my hand, and is rubbing it, playing with it, interlacing our fingers.

The movie gets deep.

My gaze is transfixed on the screen.

I’m trying to hold it back.

Diva’s don’t cry A few silent tears escape.

Jason reaches over and rubs the tears off my face. And holds my hands tighter.

Jason (whispering): Aweee are you crying, it’s ok. Don’t cry.

Me: No, I’m not crying. It’s your breath, it has me in tears. I told you not to say words that begin with ahhh

Jason: (Laughing) Whatever.


After the movie, we talk about it, and head back to his place. A few things to note about our outing:

1) While we were eating, he asked me about Brian. I almost forgot I told him, I had a crush on him. We had a conversation

2) He’s such a F’n gentleman, opens car doors, front doors, just doors in general, let’s me walk in first, walks me to the truck, pushes me out of the way, so cars won’t hit me. You almost forget to expect “gentlemanly behavior”.

3) The verdict is out...

Unexpected Options (Part 1 of 2)

An unexpected option may surprise you. Jason. Remember him. Kinda movie buddy, former co-worker. Well he ended up being my Friday option this weekend. Imagine, it was Friday, wet & rainy, and mother nature was kicking my ass, but I didn't want to stay in, despite my uterus feeling like a semi was hitting it over, and over, and over. I went & had a drink in Adams Morgan and sent a few texts. I almost forgot about Jason being somewhat of a homebody, but willing to "chill". I sent him a text to see what he was doing. We ended up setting up a last minute thing for the movies.

Around 10pm, I meet him, and the theatre is PACKED. We made it just in time to see our movie. Throughout it, we are laughing and making stupid jokes to each other. He grabs my hand, and we we end up holding hands most of the movie, the other part my hand is on his thigh. After the movie, we kind of walk arm in arm to my truck.

The awkward moment commences. You know the moment...

he walks me to the truck,

we stand there for a sec, he realizes he's parked one floor up and asks for a ride to his truck.

We find his truck, and I pull out the way to let him out.

He lingers for a second and tells me what a great time he had, I tell him likewise.

The car behind us goes around.

I look in my rearview.

I open my arms & give him a hug and tell him I'll see him later.

He gets out.