Weekend Update: Man of the House, He is Not...

His Slow Death, Has Been Fast Tracked...


So Mr. Henry & I have had a slight fight, i.e. parting of ways, i.e. lovers quarrel, i.e. he's in time-out for the umpteenth time. It pretty much stemmed from a little lot of selfishness on his end. Sorry to all you Mr. H lovers, but, let's keep it real. Mr. H and I aren't good for each other. (Although POW swears we are going to get married.) I think the history and comfort, and freaky shit keeps us going back for more. Like when he's good, he's not that bad. But when he pisses me off, it's only so much I can take before I reached my piss-tivity limit. Here's what happened.

Friday night, he wanted me to trek to his place to "fold sheets". By the time we actually got it together, the 3 ft. blizzard predictions had actually begun to come to fruition. I told him, that I wasn't sure how bad it was going to get and that I would prefer he come back to my place, because I had stuff to take care of in the morning, if the weather permitted He agreed. We stop and get food and drinks, and settle in for movies and a "sheet-folding marathon".

So Friday night, we fooled around but didn't have sex. I wake-up Saturday morning, and lo and behold the weathermen were actually right. Mr. H wakes up a little cranky, because we didn't make it a homerun night. He requested sex and breakfast. Houston, we have a problem. I didn't make it to the grocery store, so my fridge is bare. I tell him I'll throw something together, but I wanted to see how bad it was, because, I had stuff to take care of for my business.
I go out, and see that the snow is piling up on my porch. I decide to play super-diva, and start shoveling the snow. Mind you it's like 9 in the morning, and it's still going strong. For every patch I got done, it was covered about 10 minutes later. My neighbor comes out and we both shovel and chitchat. About 30 minutes later, I go inside and am a little peeved at Mr. H. He's sitting on the couch scratching his balls, watching t.v.

Him: What happened to breakfast

Me: Uhhh, are you f'n serious??? You coulda cooked. Why didn't you come check on me, or come out and help. You are so fucking lazy. I can't believe you just sat here the whole time & watched tv.

Him: Uhhhhhh, no one told you to go out and be superwoman. I just got up, and I've been calling the airline to check on my flight but couldn't get through. You said you were gonna cook, not go out & shovel snow at 9 in the morning

Me: My neighbor came out to help me

Him: You didn't give me a chance to get up and get dressed.

Me: You have to shovel my car out. I can't believe you

Trust me, this was only the beginning, to be continued...