It's not really my style to make a ton of New Years Resolutions...you know the one's stop drinking so much, go to the gym more, don't go out with old people, stop drinking so much (yea, that's a BIG one for me)...
Instead I try to practice things throughout the year & to make life-style changes. And although it's a new year, and I'm sure I can have some "new beginnings" my resolution is to not make resolutions!!! (I never really do anyways)
Instead, I'm going to "enhance" my already adventurous life with some new things...the first one being a new theme song!!!
While laying on the beach and going through my MP3 Player, trying to listen to songs and music I never listen to, because I usually skip right to the Reggae or Prince...I came across a legend in his heyday....when I first brought his CD, I was like WTF. But then I just listened to his musicianship, and came to realize, this man was freakin great...
So my new theme-song is "Stone Free". This is my perfect song, because so many people (some friends) are fucking (I'll tone down my language this year) judgmental. And while laying in my chair, sipping my green rum spiked drink, this song was playing...I had to listen to it a few times...and I decided, the honors go to Jimi Hendrix... "Stone Free" to do what I want.....
Happy New Year, see ya in a few days with updates!!! I love Jamaica...
Friday, January 2, 2009
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Jamaica, Jamaica... Addicted
I'm off to Jamaica, for my much needed and much deserved vacation. I can't promise that I will be an angel, but I do promise to be fun and safe and to return... (unless some beautiful man kidnaps me!).
When I return (just in time for my b-day!) I hope to be well rested and ready to take on 2009!
Before I go, I have a few confessions to make, well not a few, just one really BIG one (no I DID NOT get LAID):
I talked to Mr. Henry. After consuming a bottle of champagne ... (I know, not good), I made the call. He's like a BAD habit that you have to work really hard at to get rid of (some habits that come to mind are drinking, smoking, eating too much, smoking CRACK)... I promise to do better, it's just hard with my choices (or lack thereof right now)...
He gets me and I get him. It's hard to throw 8 years away... we were like a common law, DYSFUNCTIONAL, Bonnie & Clyde (without the killing, but with great sex) in denial duo...
I think Jamaica has the cure... see ya in 2009!!!
When I return (just in time for my b-day!) I hope to be well rested and ready to take on 2009!
Before I go, I have a few confessions to make, well not a few, just one really BIG one (no I DID NOT get LAID):
I talked to Mr. Henry. After consuming a bottle of champagne ... (I know, not good), I made the call. He's like a BAD habit that you have to work really hard at to get rid of (some habits that come to mind are drinking, smoking, eating too much, smoking CRACK)... I promise to do better, it's just hard with my choices (or lack thereof right now)...
He gets me and I get him. It's hard to throw 8 years away... we were like a common law, DYSFUNCTIONAL, Bonnie & Clyde (without the killing, but with great sex) in denial duo...
I think Jamaica has the cure... see ya in 2009!!!
Friday, December 26, 2008
Christmas Eve: What Does That Mean?
Christmas Eve
I spent Christmas Eve this year with Tony. Before he came over, I thought about what I did last year. Last year, I didn't go home because I had a trip and surprise planned for my Mom in February, so I stayed here. I spent it with this guy I met online, whose name escaped me. I do remember he made me a candlelit dinner, and I spent the night. I woke up the next morning, thinking damn...it's Christmas...I can't believe I'm here. We didn't have sex, but I somehow felt dirty...I guess it was from all those years of being with my family on Christmas Eve, but I found myself with this guy, who I wasn't feeling enough to have sex with...name begins with a D if that means anything....in any case I digress. This year was different. I spent it with someone I know/knew, and it wasn't bad.
I cooked dinner, made cookies, we watched a movie and he left. Still no sex, not that I wanted to have sex, but since it's been so long, I might as well become celibate It wasn't a bad Christmas Eve. Sort of sweet, like Grandma's gifts, that you hate, but keep around because you love Grandma, and you don't want her to ask where they are at...something like that...
Also, I made him a gift, because he told me he brought me one...so I didn't want him to leave empty handed. I made homemade cookies, and a really cutesy/corny CD with music I thought he'd enjoy. I personalized it and wrote some interesting things. I didn't give it to him, instead I slipped it in his jacket pocket. When he left, I sent a message that said "check your pocket"
He texted me back and said "Thank u, luv, u"...
I was confused as fuck...what does that mean???
I spent Christmas Eve this year with Tony. Before he came over, I thought about what I did last year. Last year, I didn't go home because I had a trip and surprise planned for my Mom in February, so I stayed here. I spent it with this guy I met online, whose name escaped me. I do remember he made me a candlelit dinner, and I spent the night. I woke up the next morning, thinking damn...it's Christmas...I can't believe I'm here. We didn't have sex, but I somehow felt dirty...I guess it was from all those years of being with my family on Christmas Eve, but I found myself with this guy, who I wasn't feeling enough to have sex with...name begins with a D if that means anything....in any case I digress. This year was different. I spent it with someone I know/knew, and it wasn't bad.
I cooked dinner, made cookies, we watched a movie and he left. Still no sex, not that I wanted to have sex, but since it's been so long, I might as well become celibate It wasn't a bad Christmas Eve. Sort of sweet, like Grandma's gifts, that you hate, but keep around because you love Grandma, and you don't want her to ask where they are at...something like that...
Also, I made him a gift, because he told me he brought me one...so I didn't want him to leave empty handed. I made homemade cookies, and a really cutesy/corny CD with music I thought he'd enjoy. I personalized it and wrote some interesting things. I didn't give it to him, instead I slipped it in his jacket pocket. When he left, I sent a message that said "check your pocket"
He texted me back and said "Thank u, luv, u"...
I was confused as fuck...what does that mean???
Monday, December 22, 2008
All I Want For Christmas...
All I want for Christmas...is to get rid of this awful cold...
Six days from now, I will be in sunny, beautiful, Jamaica (for 7 days!) for a much needed vacation. This isn’t the trip with Brian in February...instead it’s a “Girls” vacation to ring in the New Year right!!! I’m so excited and am so trying to get rid of this cold/flu that has had me down for the last few days!!! Being sick, sucks major A.
The Old Man has tried to get my spirits up, but between work, the cold, dog sitting, and everything else, I haven’t been in the mood to see him. He gave me the disclaimer months ago that he doesn’t do Christmas and not to buy him anything...so I won’t. I’m not even sure if I even want to spend it with him (I won’t be going home). We have plans to see a movie or something tonight, but, I’m not sure what I want to do. Tony has called me a few times last week, saying how much he missed me, and he wants me to see him perform tonight... I may just say no to both of them and crawl in my bed...
In Other News
My birthday is coming up in two weeks. I started making plans on how I’m going to celebrate. The Party Girl, will fall off the wagon by this time I’m sure! Thus far I am celebrating at my favorite club/lounge. I sent the E-vite out on Friday. I contemplated on who to invite, and I decided to invite a lot of guys, including Mr. Henry (for shits & giggles), don’t ask me why, I don’t know...maybe I miss him, maybe I’m a glutton for punishment. I also invited Brian, Jason, John Q, the young boy and some other friends... I haven’t decided if I’m going to invite the Old man or Tony yet. I can invite one, but not both...
Six days from now, I will be in sunny, beautiful, Jamaica (for 7 days!) for a much needed vacation. This isn’t the trip with Brian in February...instead it’s a “Girls” vacation to ring in the New Year right!!! I’m so excited and am so trying to get rid of this cold/flu that has had me down for the last few days!!! Being sick, sucks major A.
The Old Man has tried to get my spirits up, but between work, the cold, dog sitting, and everything else, I haven’t been in the mood to see him. He gave me the disclaimer months ago that he doesn’t do Christmas and not to buy him anything...so I won’t. I’m not even sure if I even want to spend it with him (I won’t be going home). We have plans to see a movie or something tonight, but, I’m not sure what I want to do. Tony has called me a few times last week, saying how much he missed me, and he wants me to see him perform tonight... I may just say no to both of them and crawl in my bed...
In Other News
My birthday is coming up in two weeks. I started making plans on how I’m going to celebrate. The Party Girl, will fall off the wagon by this time I’m sure! Thus far I am celebrating at my favorite club/lounge. I sent the E-vite out on Friday. I contemplated on who to invite, and I decided to invite a lot of guys, including Mr. Henry (for shits & giggles), don’t ask me why, I don’t know...maybe I miss him, maybe I’m a glutton for punishment. I also invited Brian, Jason, John Q, the young boy and some other friends... I haven’t decided if I’m going to invite the Old man or Tony yet. I can invite one, but not both...
Friday, December 19, 2008
Maybe It's...
Maybe it's me...maybe I have these high expectations of what I want in a man, and when someone doesn't meet them, I'm done. Maybe I am searching for this Prince Charming, when all that exists are Dukes and Earls. Maybe I have a secret fluorescent light on my forehead that says "All Losers Apply Here", "All Old Men Apply Here", and "All boys between 21 & 24 take a number, you're next"...
I don't know what it is, why it is, or who it is, and half the time, I wonder if it's me....then I think about it....and I'm like ..."Hell no"...it was him (at least 95% of the time, ok 90%)
The Old Man's visit had me contemplating my dating style and habits this past year. I mean, actually, I can't be too disappointed, I met more guys than I have fingers & toes ( I have them all!) and went on more dates this year, than any other year in my life. So it has been a good dating year for me (except for the lack of sex recently)
In the dating process, I learned a lot about myself, and I learned not to sweat the small stuff...but it's the small stuff that sill F'n bothers me. I mean really small stuff.
For example, the Old Man came over for his very first time since we have been dating. I finally let my guard down and invite him to my oh so sexy love shack (yes) and he pisses me off.
I don't know what it is, why it is, or who it is, and half the time, I wonder if it's me....then I think about it....and I'm like ..."Hell no"...it was him (at least 95% of the time, ok 90%)
The Old Man's visit had me contemplating my dating style and habits this past year. I mean, actually, I can't be too disappointed, I met more guys than I have fingers & toes ( I have them all!) and went on more dates this year, than any other year in my life. So it has been a good dating year for me (except for the lack of sex recently)
In the dating process, I learned a lot about myself, and I learned not to sweat the small stuff...but it's the small stuff that sill F'n bothers me. I mean really small stuff.
For example, the Old Man came over for his very first time since we have been dating. I finally let my guard down and invite him to my oh so sexy love shack (yes) and he pisses me off.
First, he's super late, he gets here by about 9pm (and I'm calculating in my head how long I will let him stay over, 2 hours max)
Second, he's supposed to be taking care of me, you know babying me & pampering me cause I don't feel well. Well he was acting like a freakin kid in a candy store. He wanted to look at everything, take his slow grandpa time, and "snoop" so to speak. Granted it was his first time here, but WTF... I wanted to say "you're 56, take a chill pill! You act like you've never seen a cute, stylish, sexy 1 bedroom, English basement apartment before" (ok, not exactly like that, but close.)
Third, we ordered Thai food, and transferred it to real plates. Why in the F was he spilling sh** like he needs to wear a bib or something... (spilling on the couch, himself, the floor, my decorative serving tray that's for display only)...not sexy at all...
I don't know, maybe it was me. Maybe I was irritated because I was sick, or I'm not sure, but I just am not feeling that connection with him right now.
When he finally got ready to leave, he was lingering longer than needed...like he wanted me to say "You know you can stay here, you don't have to go"... (it was almost 11:30p, way pass the 2 hr mark)
It never crossed my mind, I didn't want him to stay...I was so ready for him to go...
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Guess Who's Coming...
Between work stress, weather stress, running crazy stress and lack of sex stress, I somehow am starting to feel sick. Last night, I got home, doped up on every vitamin in my house and drank two packets of Thera-flu before hitting the sack. This morning, I get my daily wake-up call.
Me: Morning Babe (in my not so sexy, throat hurts voice)
Old Man: You still sleep Kitten?
Me: No, I'm on my way to work, I don't feel good...
Old Man: You're not taking care of yourself
Me: I know, it's hard, I've been running crazy and haven't been able to get enough rest
Old Man: Awwwe, you need me to take care of you
Me: Yes
Old Man: Well how can I if you don't sit still
Me: You can come over tonight & take care of me. We'll order Thai food and play Scrabble
Old Man: (probably shit'n in his pants from excitement, 1st invite to my place!) Ok, what do you need me to bring???
I'll let you know how it goes...
In Other News
Latino Papi Alex finally got the picture (I hope) and stopped texting me. For the last few weeks he was sending me these one liner texts asking when he could see me. Tony sent me some stupid mass text last night. Brian asked me to dog sit for him this week, I'm going to JAMAICA in 10 DAYS!!! (different trip from the one with Brian in February)
Me: Morning Babe (in my not so sexy, throat hurts voice)
Old Man: You still sleep Kitten?
Me: No, I'm on my way to work, I don't feel good...
Old Man: You're not taking care of yourself
Me: I know, it's hard, I've been running crazy and haven't been able to get enough rest
Old Man: Awwwe, you need me to take care of you
Me: Yes
Old Man: Well how can I if you don't sit still
Me: You can come over tonight & take care of me. We'll order Thai food and play Scrabble
Old Man: (probably shit'n in his pants from excitement, 1st invite to my place!) Ok, what do you need me to bring???
I'll let you know how it goes...
In Other News
Latino Papi Alex finally got the picture (I hope) and stopped texting me. For the last few weeks he was sending me these one liner texts asking when he could see me. Tony sent me some stupid mass text last night. Brian asked me to dog sit for him this week, I'm going to JAMAICA in 10 DAYS!!! (different trip from the one with Brian in February)
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Something New: Second Chances
Recycled Booty - Reusing your previous sex partners for a variety of reasons, including great sex, comfort, lack of choices, familiarity or for the sole purpose of not adding "notches" to the belt...
So I seen the "new" craze this year. You know the one, everyone proud of their shiny brand new recycled bag, that you can use over & over for groceries and everyday shopping. You see them everywhere. Also, as Americans we tend to recycle other things, and sometimes get rewards for doing so...so why not recycle booty???
Tonight, I was invited out by Tony. I know what you're thinking...WTF!
But, I think, everything & everyone deserves a second chance...(disclaimer...in most cases)
I don't know if I'm delirious because I haven't gotten laid since October...or if I truly have it in my heart to give people another chance...in any case I went out with Tony tonight. After a brief conversation (and voicemail) he invited me out. It was a short quick date (right to the point) but good. I got to see a different side of him, and we got caught up. Of course he asked me about Mr. Henry & I asked him about any new "girlfriends"...
Afterwards he walked me to my car (after alluding to my place, and how he's going to come over with wine) and we hugged & gave each other a peck goodnight...hmmmm
So I seen the "new" craze this year. You know the one, everyone proud of their shiny brand new recycled bag, that you can use over & over for groceries and everyday shopping. You see them everywhere. Also, as Americans we tend to recycle other things, and sometimes get rewards for doing so...so why not recycle booty???
Tonight, I was invited out by Tony. I know what you're thinking...WTF!
But, I think, everything & everyone deserves a second chance...(disclaimer...in most cases)
I don't know if I'm delirious because I haven't gotten laid since October...or if I truly have it in my heart to give people another chance...in any case I went out with Tony tonight. After a brief conversation (and voicemail) he invited me out. It was a short quick date (right to the point) but good. I got to see a different side of him, and we got caught up. Of course he asked me about Mr. Henry & I asked him about any new "girlfriends"...
Afterwards he walked me to my car (after alluding to my place, and how he's going to come over with wine) and we hugged & gave each other a peck goodnight...hmmmm
Friday, December 12, 2008
OM-F'n-G
Like 10 minutes ago, I'm on the comp, minding my own business... unknown caller calls...
Me: Hello
Unknown Caller: Hey Cutie
Me: (heart stops) Oh, heyyyy, how are you
Unknown Caller: Good. I was just calling you to give you my new number
Me: Wow, so you're giving up the 517
Unknown Caller: Yeah, I gotta grow up sometime, I'm a Washingtonian now...
We have a few more minutes of idle conversation. Then I hang up. I contemplated on whether I should save the number or not... (I could have really USED IT last night)...but I delete it...
Me: Hello
Unknown Caller: Hey Cutie
Me: (heart stops) Oh, heyyyy, how are you
Unknown Caller: Good. I was just calling you to give you my new number
Me: Wow, so you're giving up the 517
Unknown Caller: Yeah, I gotta grow up sometime, I'm a Washingtonian now...
We have a few more minutes of idle conversation. Then I hang up. I contemplated on whether I should save the number or not... (I could have really USED IT last night)...but I delete it...
Stress Reliever
I need a “stress reliever” BAD. I’m not talking about Girls Night Out, or getting out of town for the weekend. I'm not talking about making a stiff drink and talking to friends about bad day.
I’m talking about the hair pulling, butt smacking marathons that you can let all of your aggressions, frustrations and anger out on. The one's where no talking is ok. The one that has you gripping backs, tugging sheets, sweating, and breathing like you just participated in a triathlon… the stress reliever that has you staying up all night, knowing you have to be at work in the morning, but you don’t care. The stress reliever that has you covering your mouth so you don’t wake the neighbors up, although the pounding of the headboard against the wall was sure to already do it.
Clients and work has me stressed. This weather has me stressed, job satisfaction has me stressed and the LACK of great, can’t talk afterwards, just get me a drink sex has me stressed… I’m almost tempted to make a call…and not to the Old Man….
Don’t worry. I’m just gonna take my stressed ass to bed.
Damn.
I’m talking about the hair pulling, butt smacking marathons that you can let all of your aggressions, frustrations and anger out on. The one's where no talking is ok. The one that has you gripping backs, tugging sheets, sweating, and breathing like you just participated in a triathlon… the stress reliever that has you staying up all night, knowing you have to be at work in the morning, but you don’t care. The stress reliever that has you covering your mouth so you don’t wake the neighbors up, although the pounding of the headboard against the wall was sure to already do it.
Clients and work has me stressed. This weather has me stressed, job satisfaction has me stressed and the LACK of great, can’t talk afterwards, just get me a drink sex has me stressed… I’m almost tempted to make a call…and not to the Old Man….
Don’t worry. I’m just gonna take my stressed ass to bed.
Damn.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Unknown Callers
I knew this was going to happen. That's why I frantically looked for my phone ( and lost my buzz during the process) Friday night. Anyways, tonight has been quite eventful. The Old Man and I made last minute plans to hang out, but once again, he was acting indecisive (which I hate), I wanted to say "Just make up your fucking mind and choose something, be spontaneous, I told you I didn't care", but I didn't. I talked to him at 6ish. Told him to choose something, anything, that I would be ready at 9pm. Well he must have taken his Geritol or whatever Old people take that makes them sleepy or whatnot.
7:50ish pm
Old Man: Hey
Me: Hi, What's up
Old Man: It's me
Me: I know, what's up
Old Man: What are you doing, are you still taking care of your business (I had a list of stuff to do), do you need more time?
Me: I'm working on it now, I'll be ready when you get here
Old Man: About that, don't be mad at me...
Me: What
Old Man: Will you be mad if I say I don't feel like doing anything?
Me: No
Old Man: I don't feel like doing anything tonight
Me: Ok. Bye.
I know I got short with him, but WTF, I'm running around my place like a mad woman, trying to take care of a shitload of stuff I have to do, and I squeeze him in, and he cancels an hour before our agreed upon time.
I stop.
I breathe.
I was tempted to go to the bar and get a drink and to just say fuck it (sorry for the language, but I had a REALLY rough day).
Anyways, I make a drink, and decide to chill for a minute. I get a call (unknown caller..... DAMN):
Unknown Caller 1: Hello, hey how are you?
Me: Good, who is this?
Unknown Caller 1: It's "Jason... Jason Mathis" ... (haven't talked about him yet)
Me: Ohhhhhh. Hey how are you!
After a few minutes of conversation, someone beeps in, I immediately recognize the number...
Unknown Caller 2: Hello,
Me: Heyyyyy Island Prince, oh my god, how are you!!! Hold on....
At least tonight wasn't all the way bad. I talked to Island Prince for a few moments, and I called Jason back...I still need that stiff drink though
7:50ish pm
Old Man: Hey
Me: Hi, What's up
Old Man: It's me
Me: I know, what's up
Old Man: What are you doing, are you still taking care of your business (I had a list of stuff to do), do you need more time?
Me: I'm working on it now, I'll be ready when you get here
Old Man: About that, don't be mad at me...
Me: What
Old Man: Will you be mad if I say I don't feel like doing anything?
Me: No
Old Man: I don't feel like doing anything tonight
Me: Ok. Bye.
I know I got short with him, but WTF, I'm running around my place like a mad woman, trying to take care of a shitload of stuff I have to do, and I squeeze him in, and he cancels an hour before our agreed upon time.
I stop.
I breathe.
I was tempted to go to the bar and get a drink and to just say fuck it (sorry for the language, but I had a REALLY rough day).
Anyways, I make a drink, and decide to chill for a minute. I get a call (unknown caller..... DAMN):
Unknown Caller 1: Hello, hey how are you?
Me: Good, who is this?
Unknown Caller 1: It's "Jason... Jason Mathis" ... (haven't talked about him yet)
Me: Ohhhhhh. Hey how are you!
After a few minutes of conversation, someone beeps in, I immediately recognize the number...
Unknown Caller 2: Hello,
Me: Heyyyyy Island Prince, oh my god, how are you!!! Hold on....
At least tonight wasn't all the way bad. I talked to Island Prince for a few moments, and I called Jason back...I still need that stiff drink though
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