Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Mr. Good On Paper

So I am F'N tired of meeting these good on paper guys, wasting time on the phone, texting, e-mailing, then finding out Mr. Good On Paper has some major characteristic flaw...we all know some Good On Paper Guys, you know the one's:

attractive - (check)
good job - (check)
nice car - (check)
educated - (check)
lives alone/or own's place - (check)
non-smoker - (check)
no baby's mama's - (check)
no girlfriend or wife - (check)
spiritual - (check)
healthy/works out - (check)

So what's missing??? Hmmm, it's usually something major, like: bad in bed, bad breath, calling/texting too much, player type, too nice, not spontaneous or adventurous, bad conversation, habitual liar, small package nicely wrapped...if you get the drift. In any case, you never find out about the OTHER traits until it's too late and you've invested time (that you can't get back) into this Good on Paper Guy. I have the perfect example, of one of my former "Good On Paper Guys".

Meet Carlos:

He's an ex boyfriend from a long, long, time ago. He had/has it all. He's the quintessential "Good On Paper Guy". He even took the "Good On Paper Guy-ness" to the next level and owned not one, not two but three (3!) houses (financially stable - check). He's a non-smoker, non-drinker, who is drug/disease free (check). He's a military man, who worked his way up the military ranks (ambitious - check). He was kind of a golden boy who didn't want to have sex outside of marriage (Virgin- no check). I kid you not, the last time I spoke with him (September) he had only had sex with two (2!!!) women in his whole life (I wasn't one of them...another blog another time). His ex-wife and now his current girlfriend... (just two)...commitment type (check).

So what's wrong him (rather what did I think was wrong)?

Long story short, he wanted to get married and be in a relationship with me (no I'm not kicking myself for passing this seemingly good man up). My major issues with him were: spontaneity, predictability, boring-ness(with a capital B!), different education, spiritual and political values. He didn't want to engage in sexual relations (sorry I gotta test drive it first)...and he didn't like going out and doesn't go out. (that's like DEATH for me!)

Anyways, he was the quintessential Good Guy On Paper...

Did I miss something???

Just my thoughts...it's cold outside (I don't care what you say, long john's are NOT sexy) so I'm inside (trying not to fall off the party wagon), so one of three things are going to happen...1) I'll blog all day and night, 2) I'll cave and invite the Old Man over...damn wintertime weather!!!, 3) I'll fall of the Wagon, and be at the Club/Bar in no-time!!!


Anonymous said...

HA!...and i know who it is, which makes me giggle on the inside :-)

DaniB said...

LOL! Thats hilarious! I know all to well about the GOP guys but sometimes they turn into good relationships.....on second thought maybe not

Single Black Male.net said...

LOL ... uh ... this is obvious ... if he didn't have that flaw ... he would be perfect. Perfection doesn't appear in nature ... PERIOD. Us guys get the same gripes (bad at head comes to mind as on of the "surprises").

And trust ... I don't even make your "on paper" list. Shame ...


It's good you aren't the "Good on Paper Guy", once we figure out he's good on paper, we know we're doomed...the more flaws the better...lol (Not)

Notnuts said...

Is "Nice Car" really the third most important thing you look for in a guy?


Noooo!!!! It's just a list in no particular order, and these aren't the things I look for in a guy necessairly. But lately, when you meet a guy who has all of the things mentioned, he seems like a great guy (or atleast he does on paper) but then you get to the heart of and usually find out he's crazy or something...

Also, side note: the Old Man has a shitty car, I'm not a car whore!!!

Shelia said...

Unfortunately I've met quite a few good on paper men. I'm contemplating on whether to blog about the guy--I call "the neighbor." On paper, he seems to be a good guy but the more and more I got to know him (short span period), the more I realize we DON'T have that much in common. Once you get past the attraction, there's nothing much there.


Yep Sheila, that's why they are good on paper...you write down all of the "good" things and it looks great, but they are always (in most cases) missing something, that you just can't put your finger on...or you can and it sucks,

... if I told my momma about half the guys I meet, she'd be mad, and be like he has a good job, blah, blah, blah, hurry up and get married already...lol

blkgrlblogging said...

So, I totally hope you don't think I'm a creeper for commenting on a two year old post (I just have to start at the beginning of every story!), but I'm a new fan to the blog.

This post has me wondering if I'm "GOP": 23, smart, attractive, good job, brand new car, own apartment, just to name a few.

Where are my dating adventures? LOL


You're totally ok to read from the beginning...life is an adventure, period. I just choose to blog about the dating side of it!!!

Thanks for reading, and GOP isn't necessairly a bad thing!