The Vault: Dessert On A Dime

So, I'm going home for a few days and I thought I'd reach back into the vault and tell you about a not so yummy dessert date. Around the same time I met the coke bottle glasses guy I met this other guy...we'll call him "Tyrone". I went on a binge and went out like 5 days in a row with my boy Chuck who was here visiting. The week he was here, I met like ten guys, most, ok all under the pre-tense of alcohol...what's new? Anyways, so the following week, I made it my mission to go out on as many dates as possible just for the hell of it. Tyrone called me one day to see if I wanted to go out. During the conversation, he kept complimenting me, and you know, just being really nice, etc, etc. How bad could it be right?

I had a dinner date the day we agreed to go out, so I suggested dessert. He offered to pick me up. Although I don't agree with guys picking me up on the first few dates (i.e. stalkers lurk), I agreed because at the time I lived in a fairly large apartment complex. So anyways, Tyrone gives me the disclaimer, that he really didn't have a lot of money. Being nice, I suggested we go Dutch, I just got out of college myself, so I knew how it could be. And, I mean we were only doing dessert. Surely that wouldn't be a problem. He says he could pay for "our" desert and that he'll call me when he's downstairs.

He picks me up in an old Cutlass or something along those lines. I didn't mind that. I'm not a car snob, however, when I opened the door, I was smacked in the face, by thick fog (i.e. Mary Jane, 4-20, weed). Ok...so I know where this is going. He was decent looking. Subtract the years of inhaling, he probably could have been an 8, throw on some nice clothes, he could have been pushing 9.5. Digressing.

We go to Clyde's. Clyde's was my choice quite often back then because it wasn't too far from my place, it was in a well lit area, and the prices were decent. We sit and chat & place our orders. I skip the drink and get like a $5.00 dessert and water, mind you I had just came from a dinner date, so I wasn't really hungry, or pressed for food. We talk, have a good conversation, then the bill comes. He reaches for it and puts it down. I wait a few seconds, then I pick it up. It's $13 something with tax.

Tyrone, then proceeds to pull out change...i.e. coins...i.e. not dollar bills.

Tyrone: Hey, I'm sorry I don't know if I have enough. I went to the Metro today and they gave me back all of these quarters. Can you take care of the rest?

Me: Uhhh, ok, how much do you have?

Tyrone: $3 something

(the fucker, didn't even have enough to cover his dessert or tip)

Me: I got it.

So I paid. (Mind you, it was only like $13.00, but how lame is that, right???) Anyways, we get up and leave and I'm still chill. He asks me if I'm ready to go straight home. I use the excuse that it's late and I have to work in the morning. We pull up to my apartment complex, he decides he wants to talk. What in the hell do we have to talk about????

He then proceeds to ask me if we should finish our conversation upstairs....uhhh, my apartment??? (no way) I kindly decline...citing the work thing again.

Tyrone: But why? We were having such a good conversation and I'm feeling you and I think you are feeling me too. I just wanna talk.

Me: I really do have to get up early, sorry. Besides I don't know you like that.

Tyrone: But that's why I wanna finish our conversation, so you can get to know me. I promise, I'll sit on the floor. I gotta get up early too.

Me: No. Sorry. Drive safely. Thanks for a good evening.

I get out the car, no looking back, pissed because he couldn't even afford his "own" dessert, and he wanted to "come" up...WTF???

I get upstairs, and he calls me to try to make his case again.... NO, HELL NO. NEEEEEXXXXTTTTT!


(I promise the next time I dig in the vault, I will pull up an exceptionally good date!!!)

BTW, went out with Jason today, more on that tomorrow!!!