The First (Last) Argument of 2009
I Was Mad As Hell.
Why I don't know. I guess it was a combination of ego, pride, not being in control, shitty-ness of the whole situation.
Here's My Take On It
Dumb Fuck (i.e. Tony) was still mad about Friday. He probably talked to some of his friends (female friends at that) and they probably fed him the BS most friends who aren't in the situation do..."that ____________ isn't shit" sorta crap... "Or you know she had a dude over"... and the classic..."Fell asleep my ass"
My other view after deep contemplation and not telling any of my girls for 24 hours about the fight, was this: His ego is bruised, he doesn't know who to believe, he's still mad, and his emotions got caught up and he didn't want them to. (I know, fuckin humor me for a moment).
So after our "make-up" conversation yesterday, I wanted to see him in person and I tell him so. I want to PERSONALLY apologize again, and just let him know, I'm not the flaky, BS type. I mean, come the fuck on, if I had a guy over, I would have called him, so he wouldn't pop up...like "Dude, be smart about this"...
Anyways, we set it up. I'm going to meet him near the gym he works out at, since I was going to be in the area and had to do some errands. Although our time wasn't specific, I figured we'd probably hook up around 3 or 3:30 (after his work-out). At about 3:15 I send him a text to let him know I'm in the area and what store I am at. He immediately sends me one back and says he was taking a nap. He's headed to the gym.
I go to the next store to get some stuff. I call him around 4:30. No answer. I send him a text to let him know I'm still in the area. In the back of my mind, I'm thinking' he's still mad. I go to the next store. By this time, I'm pretty much done with my errands in this neighborhood, and I need to get moving. It's shortly after 5. I call him to let him know I didn't hear from him and I gotta go.
As I'm driving to my next destination I have an EPIPHANY. "Wait. Why in the fuck am I still apologizing? Why in the hell would he assume the worst about me, seeing as how I didn't give him any reason to feel that way?" I send him a text basically saying how I feel. Then...
I TURN OFF THE PHONE. (I know).
About an hour later. I turn it back on. He calls me about 15 minutes later.
Tony: We need to talk
Me: Ok, you're still mad about Friday?
Tony: This isn't about that, it is, but it's more complicated.
Tony: I have feelings for someone else and I have feelings for you...
(Silence is golden)
Tony: You still there?
Me: I'll talk to you later.
Tony: What? What does that mean, that you'll talk to me later, or you'll never talk to me again? I want to be honest with you.
Then the fight starts. As we're going back and forth and I'm bring up the fact the HE was the one sending me messages about how much he missed me, and how much HE was feeling me, not me.
We're yelling at each other and I'm sitting in the parking lot of Target heated. I have all of this shit running through my mind. He's trying to get me to see his point of view and keeps saying nothing ever happened with them, but he liked her, then she moved, but there's something with us, and he wants me to be a part of his life. Then...
Why in the fuck am I arguing with him about this? I'm SEEING other people, he's not my boyfriend and we aren't on that level.
I tell him so. Then I take a deep breath.
Me: Bye Tony
I hang up.