Thursday, January 22, 2009

Mr. Henry: Before & After (Part 1 of 2)

Awhile ago, I promised I would fill you in about Mr. Henry and our history. It's hard to sum up our dysfunctional on and off almost 9 years of knowing each other quasi-relationship in one post, but here is my first attempt...

The Good Ole Days Before I Had Dating Commonsense

Sometimes I think about my college days (Pre DC Diva) and I can't help but to laugh at some of the antics me & my friends used to participate in. Everything from stealing stuff off our neighbor's porch (and putting it on someone else's porch) to partying in Houston at Beach Parties, and the classic, partying at the club, house party or bar just about every weekend. (a local DJ even nicknamed anyways I digress

When I think about those days, I can't help but to think about Mr. Henry and some of our good times as well as bad. I don't know if I was "in love" with him (in retrospect I think not), but I do know we had a strong bond. We had an "affinity" that couldn't be described, we had a dysfunctional yet "happy" sex-filled, sex everywhere, this is the first time I tried this relationship; then we had the yelling, fighting, crying, sex make-up sessions it was a "relationship" without titles... an OXYMORON of sorts.

There are three major fights that I remember. The first one I was about 21/22. I can't remember what we argued about exactly, but I remember driving to his place, only to get there and his roommates tell me he's not there. I get a call on my cell phone and he's at my place. After all of these years, it's kind of funny, but at the time, I was pissed because yet again, I thought he had another chic over. I went back to my place to meet him, and lets just say, every part of my apartment was used that night...all night.

The second one was when I got back from my London study abroad, and I was staying with this girl for the summer. I think we were fighting about commitment stuff, I can't remember. All I remember is my roommate coming to my door to tell me he was there. I open my door and he comes in. He starts hugging me, and he kissed my eyelids, and every single part of my body. For a moment, we had intense make up sex, until I accidently poked him in the eye, then we laughed about it and went to bed.

The third time I remember was when P.A.T.T. came back to campus to visit her at that time boyfriend. She and I went out and had a girls night. I had a lot to drink, so she drove. I asked her to take me to Mr. Henry's. Once there, I knock on the door (it's about 2am) and he doesn't answer. I heard voices though. I knock again. No answer. I'm pissed because I KNOW someone else is there. I walk around to his bedroom window and try to look in. It's pitch black. I walk around to his patio and I had to slide down there because he had a garden level apartment. Right now, common sense isn't kicking in. The good Diva was no where to be found. Instead, the alcohol and rage of, "how can we fuck the night before, and now he has a bitch over" kicked in. I wasn't thinking clearly, because for people that found out what happened...well let's just say it SHOCKED the hell out them..."WHAT NOT YOU?", “YOU’RE SO SWEET” sorta shock.

I look in the patio door and I don't see anyone. I see the TV is on. I begin throwing whatever is near at the patio door. I guess there was a brick close by, because, the patio door ended up having a big hole right in the center. (At the time I didn't realize that.)

I go back around to his front door, and Mr. Henry is MAD. He stumbles to the door, and is like "What the fuck?" (He was actually cool about it, cause if it was the other way around I would have CALLED the POLICE)

His friends are in there and they are scared. I go in, I'm a crying mess, and in my drunken state I'm saying things I don't remember the next day. I'm in his room, and I'm on top of him, hugging him, kissing him, crying, and he's trying to be gentle, yet he's pissed, and is trying to push me off of him and out his room. He tells me I have to go, and I can't stay. (He didn't have a girl over)

By this time P.A.T.T. finds me. She had no idea about what I was doing. He's telling her to get me and to take me home. I'm still yelling, crying (I have no clue as to what I was saying). We get outside, and I start kicking his car door. He already has a crack in his windshield from an accident, but I hit on the window and make it bigger. P.A.T.T is pulling me away, Mr. Henry is yelling. Then the next thing I remember is I wake-up in my bed. I still have on some of my clothes from the night before, and I can't find my cell.

Then it hits me. DAMN.

I immediately call Mr. Henry and start apologizing. I'm crying, and telling him, I would never intentionally hurt him, and I'll pay for the patio. I go over to his place to give him money and to get my cell back. I'm SAD at the fact that he will never want to be my friend again.

But here's the FUNNY part....BRACE yourself...

This shit TURNED HIM ON!!!

Yep. That night, he wanted me to come over and wear the jacket I had on the night before. He told me he was turned on by the fact that I cared. He was turned on by my aggressiveness. He started calling me more, checking on me, we had days of GREAT make-up sex. He was attentive (for a minute). Then when I was back to my normal sweet girl self...doing all of the sweet thoughtful things I did before the drama, and before the brick throws... he was bored and back to his old conniving ways. My conclusion...GUYS LOVE DRAMA...hence Tony, CREATING DRAMA.

Now I'm MORE mature. I never had another "crazy" girl moment. In fact. I'm probably just the opposite now. I'm cool, laid back and calm...until you cross me. Then I just hang up the phone or close the door, or leave the room. No more throwing bricks or cracking windows. That was the first and last time. Now, I'll just cut your ass loose and trade you like the Packers traded Favre.


DaniB said...

OMG! And Mr. Henry is still around? I know you said you killed him but seriously it sounds like you guys need to get it together and make it or break it. I agree with you that men like the drama girls. I sometimes think I need to do a social experiment and wild out on my man to see if it wakes him up. Just a thought probably will never happen. I love my patio to much.

Anonymous said...

hmm this explains a lot. like i said before I have a Mr. Henry. but after my last flip out which was as bad, we don't talk anymore. i loved that guy for no good reason. i think these type of men are just special. lol i was nice for so long then i started having flip outs. the first time he thought it was so cute. then when they stop liking you as much and are sleeping with other people they don't let the mean things slide anymore. they don't care like they used to so when yournice it's just back to being cool for them.

it's like they want to be tricked into love

Anonymous said...

so, i just stumbled upon your remind me of me...i love men! and it definitely has inspired me to start a new (anonymous) relationship blog to sort through my relationship problems...

Chaotically Calm said...

It's nice to see that everyone has their Jazmine Sullivan moments. I try not to relive mine. And I agree men love drama they just don't like to admit it.

We all have that person who can take us to that place it's just a matter of accepting that it's probably best to cut the ties and just say hi when you run into each other in public.


@Dani, Yeah, Mr. Henry is like the plague, it never dies, just re-appears

@MLM, we all need to experience a Mr. H in our life atleast once...I know it sounds crazy, but it helps you to realize what you really want. I cared for him, but he's done so much shit, that I have to remind myself of that when I start getting thoughts about calling him, or seeing him

@Anon Thanks, when you do, let me peek in on it. It's amazing to see that we are all the same, but different...

@Chaotically, yeah, this happened when Jaz was just a little sparkel in her mama's The thing is, we knew how to push each other's buttons so well, that it was scary...the good ole days...may they rest in peace