Thursday, January 8, 2009

"Sex-pectations"

To Accept or Not to Accept, That is the Question???

Ok. At first I didn’t feel the slightest conviction about ALL of the plans the Old Man had for my birthday, until I told a friend about him sending me to the Spa. Her response was that it was “too much”. After dinner the other night which was $100.00 (and the infamous card), and tonight’s plans for a comedy club ($$$), and tomorrow’s appointment at the spa (which by the way is $115.00), I feel like his “SEX-PECTATIONS” may be increasing... so now, I don’t know how to deal with all of this. I WANT TO BE SPOILED, but at the same time, I don’t want him thinking that it’s been almost a year, and it’s time for me to “give him some”, especially after lavishing so many gifts on me.

My Good Diva says to pay for the date tonight, but my BAD Diva says, it’s MY b-day week, and I DID NOT ask for ANY of these gifts, so to sit back and enjoy, and to keep my CHASITY BELT strapped tightly...

What to do, what to do?

11 comments:

Cheekie said...

Yeah, since it's your birthday I don't think you're being bad by accepting the gifts. Maybe a little "Ya know, you really don't have to do all of this" (You know, in that "Aw, you shouldn't have" way") comment thrown his way may make you feel better.

I know in reality, lavishing a woman usually has the "sex-pectation" attached to it, but that doesn't mean he has the right to pressure you (not saying he is, but if he ever gets to that point..that's on him, not you). And you shouldn't feel obligated to sex him up JUST BECAUSE he chooses to lavish you, know what I mean? The lavishing is great, but it's just the cherry on top...it's the entire sundae that'll get me to drop the drawers, ya know?

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

Yeah. I have NO intentions on sleeping with him, to use a different analogy, it's like the guy that buys a drink for you ar the bar/club and you feel like you have to talk to him to be nice, when in reality, you want him to keep it moving...maybe that's a bad example, but, I was telling my friend that the Old Man doesn't know about me going back to Jamaica in a month, and he doesn't know about me staying in the same room with guy (although nothing happened in Miami, so I don't expect it to happen this time)...but if the Old Man knew, may make him change his views about everything

I do APPRECIATE everything is doing, and I never asked him to do ANYTHING, however I feel like he definitely wants sex, and I don't want to have sex.....WITH HIM...but I like the gifts and attention and spending time with him....is that wrong???

thelilaccarpet said...

Hi DC Diva came across your page from another blog... but I agree with Cheekie... it's your birthday week... why can't you enjoy these little trinkets? I think the sex-pectation would be high if it wasn't your birthday week... then he would be wanting to know what's up with the cookie...

DaniB said...

Get the gifts and keep it moving and if he expects something tell him that was his mistake and he can kiss you pinkie if he likes

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

Lilac - I felt that way in the beginning, I guess SOME friends have a way of making you feel bad, that's why I don't tell some of them some things...

LOL @ Dani B

I think I'm gonna have a talk with him, and re-iterate the fact that I'm not ready to take it there, and to stop dropping hints...

thelilaccarpet said...

Believe me girl I know!! I have to do omission sometimes with my friends!

My True Essence said...

I think you should accept the gifts because he gave them to you. You didn't ask for them. I agree with you and think you should really have another talk with him to let him know you are not interested in being intimate with him. It may be time for you to cut him back some and not hang out with him so much. Just my thoughts . . .

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

Yep, tonight was a true testiment, I'm gonna have to be MIA for awhile with the Old Man....

CL said...

Been reading your blog for quite a bit I'm getting the impression that you are leading this "old Man" on. Yup, I said it.
You may protest, but I will wager if you had a conversation with him and actually said you never have any intentions of consummating your relationship his demeanor will change. He will be disappointed but then at least you will not be disrespecting his kindness by using him just to keep you entertained.

Don't be a stereotype!

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

CL I’ve thought about that... ALOT, but I don’t think so.

I’ve said many of times I like hanging out with him, spending time with him, etc. but I’m just not SEXUALLY attracted to him. I like the thought of him, and what he brings with him, i.e. respect, boundaries, happiness, different things to do. I told him on more than one occasion I’m not ready for a relationship right now, and I do not want a relationship right now...there is some truth to that, Also, I pay for some things, and a lot of things we do are free (salsa, live music, games at his place) or cheap...I simply like his company, variety is the spice of life... and HE told me he was seeing other people, and he had sex with someone in like October or November, and he’s not “looking” for anything serious as he’s only been divorced for 3 years..... so what do you say to that??? Maybe he like’s having a young 20 something on his arm and spending time with me too...

Chaotically Calm said...

Hola DC, I get the feeling that the Old Man just told you he isn't looking for a relationship because you told him that you weren't and he didn't want to put himself out there. He seems like a good old guy but the talk is needed. Of course lay it on gentle cause his ticker might not be able to take the blow you're gonna deliver.

It seems to me that he was listening to you say you're not going there with him but he was hearing if I just stick it out the panties will fall. Just my thoughts.