Post Jamaica

Wipe The Slate Clean - Start from scratch. Out with the old, in with the new...


So I got back into DC at the butt crack of dawn after suffering many delays at the airport. Tony picked me up. We get to my place and the door is opened. I look at him, and I'm like "I'm not going in there"...he gives me that look like I'm not either...so we call the police and I have to wait yet again. After getting the "all clear" we go in, and nothing was stolen, whew... just happenstance.

We make it in, and I'm exhausted like silly exhausted I don't know what to do with myself. I take a shower and he's in my room, looking at my books. He noticed I received the one I wanted off of my wish list. He asked me when & how I got it, that he brought me one for Christmas and never gave it to me. He was going to give it to me for my birthday...well too late buddy!

So after our first round of horizontal dancing, we're laying there having pillow-talk, and he starts getting sentimental on me...and in my head I'm like "Ohh fuck", but out loud I'm like "really"....see the thing is, I've had a change of heart, re Tony.

The week before I left, he was being flaky. So the night before I left, I gave him an ultimatum so to speak.

Me: Look, one minute you're telling me how much you care about me and want to spend time with me, then the next minute, I don't hear from you in 4 days. No text, no call, no nothing.

Tony: I know, I've been going through something's, and I told you about my problem, when I get down, I get really down, and I shut down

Me: I understand that, and I'm not disputing that, all you have to do is drop a quick text or call and say that. I'm leaving in a few hours for Jamaica. I'll be gone for 5 days. That will give us some time to determine what we want. When I get back we can talk

He basically goes on to say how he wants me in his life, blah, blah, blah. Before I left, I thought that's what I wanted too, but I've had a change of heart...and now he decides he wants to be with me.

I don't want to be with him anymore.

We spent the whole night and all day yesterday together.

I still don't want him anymore.

Even after he said he wondered what our kids would look like, and that he'll take care of the house if I don't want to, and do the cooking & cleaning.

Nope, no change of heart.

When he asked to look at my baby pictures, and told me how much he loved my eyes, my skin, my body, my spirit...

I still didn't have a change of heart.

Even after we had hours, upon hours of amazing can't be described sex...I still don't want him.

Isn't that a bitch?