Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The Follow-Up... the conversation started...

Me: The girl that you mentioned in passing, that you talked about wife-ing. You never talk about her, but you mention other girls. Why?

Brian: Probably cause our friendship isn't that serious. We don't talk about serious things. It's light. Like just cause I don't talk about her, doesn't mean I don't care about her. I talk about her with Mark.

Me: Is it because it's something that's so personal to you, you don't bring it up?

Brian: (Shrugs) You probably wouldn't believe anything I say about her, because of how you see me act with other girls, and you'd probably be like "yeah right". But your boys understand, and you don't have to explain anything.

The conversation kind of ended and we started talking about other stuff at that point. A rule I always live by is the don't ask, don't tell policy unless you really want to to know. When you do ask, be prepared for the answer & don't get mad, cause you asked. I think the thing that "bothered" me, was the whole part, re "our friendship isn't that serious".

Obviously, I looked at it differently, yeah, light and easy, but also, serious. Not in the relationship way BF/GF way, but IDK... not in the "just passing through" way either. When you spend so much time with someone, the way that we do/did, I guess I thought we were better friends... oh well. What can I say???

Moving on...

In Other News

I know, the last few posts, have been about Brian, ok a lot more than a few, but who's counting. It doesn't mean that the other guys don't exist, they just haven't existed as much... I need a new line-up...

I talked to Tony twice last week. Just conversations. He's still unemployed, still not doing much (nothing to be exact). It's sad, because he has an amazing natural talent, and he's not using it. He's waiting on bands to call him, and waiting on his "big break" but he's not marketing himself. He's not looking. Well how in the hell are they gonna find you?

The Old Man sent me a text and I didn't respond. I know we are going to eventually run into each other, cause he lives in the salsa bars, and eventually, I'm going to go salsa dancing...hmmmm

Chris & I texted back and forth a few days last week & talked on the phone once...nothing there. Like we say we are going to meet up for lunch, or sync our schedules one day. But I haven't made the effort, and neither has he. I guess the option is there if one of us wanted it...I really don't want it.

Mr. H and I are doing the same. I wonder, when will we "officially" stop.


Anonymous said...

hey can you hook me up with tony? lol i've always had a thing for guys named tony. plus he's a long distance away i think it could work. haha

anyways, i see what he meant now. he meant he doesn't get deep with you odd way to put it.


Tony is crazy with a capital C ... maybe he has a sane cousin or something. Wouldn't want him stalking you & peepin through your

Ms.Minx said...

Re:Brian, I'd probably have cursed him out a lil' bit. I guess people have different ways of evaluating things, and clearly it's a poor choice of words on his part. I got nothin' :(

It'll be awkward to bump into the Old Man randomly, maybe you should just get it over with?

Tiffany Nicole said...

Guys are not good with words, Brian is a great example of that! I don't think he meant any ill will, but his word choice needs work. I think he sees you as a friend, the mix between a homie and not so much a lover. Yet, once he leaves, you should be done with him. Those type will constantly have you double checking yourself and trying to make sense out of their madness!

Shawn Smith said...

Ok Sis, here's the deal.

You and Brian are good friends. He likes you. I had a similar situation. I have a good friend that I grew up with back home. We call each other up every blue moon to say hello and such, but we never ask if the other is seeing anyone.

Sure Brian can do all of those things with you but I think the one part of him that is "out of bounds" is talk of another woman. I think he doesn't want to go that route with you just because he may think that the woman isn't good enough in your eyes, where men can be not as judgmental.

Tunde said...

i kind of feel what brian is saying but then again i don't. i think there may be some other reason. maybe he really has feelings for that girl and he doesn't talk about her to you for a reason other than what he said.

also, the old man is hilarious to me for some reason. i just don't know what it is though.


I don't have time to respond to comments (the work Nazi's again!) But I just had to tell you - Island Prince just called me!!!! I heart him. Such a sweetheart. Too bad he lives in Guadeloupe :(

Chaotically Calm said...

Oh Diva you and Brian are like my guilty pleasure soap opera. It's probably best to let it go even though I agree with you that he didn't really mean ya'll aren't friends. At the same time it was a really poor choice of words I guess he meant you too are go out partners, you know that person you can go to the club/bar/comedy show with but that's where it ends. It seems odd though because friends like that I don't introduce to family. Very confusing....

True2me said...

Men and women can't be friends. You got "hurt" by him saying your friendship wasn't that serious because you want it to be more serious than what it OBVIOUSLY ISN'T.

It feels like (if I were brian) you are a girl that likes him LIKES HIM and is simply waiting on him to "come around" (it feels that way from my viewpoint as well sweetiekins)

There is an excerpt in Teeth Harvey's book about men who tote you around and introduce you to everyone but never professes anything serious.

You are obviously someone who is always open to occupy his time when he is bored

Truth is you allow it..

Hope I didn't offend you...but I dont want to sugarcoat the situation.

I dont think you should remain friends with him, you have feelings for him (something that happens naturally when women try to be JUST FRIENDS)..

Again, male/female "friendships" dont work because someone wants more than the other and just holding out till the other changes their mind


Ok, lots to say.... in no particular order... (thanks for the comments too, I need more guys POV btw...)

1. I've never been silent about the fact that I think Brian is sexy, even mentioned he could get "it" in a post or two, except, he is a player (think that was the first post about him), and I know too much about him...

2. I hang out with people sometimes cause I'm bored...but no way in hell am I gonna hang with them for over a year, on the "main course days" and some "side-dish days", go on two vacations with them, introduce them to close friends, co-workers, and family, just for the hell of it. And if I'm bored I gotta be getting something out of hanging out with them....something...I'm just saying

3. I have male friends, co-workers, buddies, guys I haven't slept with, and don't hang out with them as much as B & I hang out together. (I'd say in passing, and once a blue moon) I don't expect him to profess his love for me, nor am I waiting on it. I do what I do when I go out, and he does what he does...I never said I wanted him to be my BF, but I would expect that he would think we were "cooler friends" than what he said on Monday (or how he said it). I mean, he's already invited me to his new spot (his idea, not mine) met the kid, etc, etc, etc...

4. He's not the only one that calls me, I call him (sometimes when I just wanna do something) and I'm not always at his beck & call. As a matter of fact, I think it's 50/50. I will say a lot of posts recently have been about him, but honestly he's leaving & we've been hanging out more... in my opinion, something I would do with someone with whom I enjoy hanging with, if I were leaving... (which I did with Mr. H, before he moved out here)

5. We mostly do bars & clubs, but we've also done brunch, dinner, the White House, a concert, hung at his place, decided to goon a day trip (but changed our minds), in addition to two vacations & working out together (in the beginning), and a some phone conversations, although, neither one us stay on the phone long

If that isn't friendship, I don't know what is... hell the only thing he hasn't done is go to the spa with me (although we did that in Jamaica) or go shopping with me (the shoe store in Old Town doesn't count)

So, I hope everyone sees where I was coming from...why I viewed it the way I did... Mr. H & I haven't even went on a trip together & I've known him for years....years (it's been mentioned to him btw, but he tells me how much our friendship means to him, so I don't 2nd guess that)

Where are my other guys at??? Wanna know what you think? (I still luv ya Tunde & Shawn!)

Journey to my soul said...

To be honest, I think he considers you just a friend. Good friends but maybe not that tight. Also, I dont think he has feelings for you...why?

1) Men are protective: Meaning, by now, after you guys have done so much together, he would get protective and try to claim you, get in your business, show a bit of jealousy etc

2) He would have made a move. I mean ya'll went on all these seemingly intimate trips and he hasnt made a move? Ya'll get drunk together, lay together and no move?

3) His boy is hollaring at you. This is a big point because by man law, if he likes you, his boy would know and respect it and wont even try anything, and him (brian) wont even let all that happen.

So i think he views you as a friend. A girl who he can be himself around. I also think he knows you like him and it kinds of makes things interesting for him. Hence the flirteous touches. He likes the power of feeling you like him but inst interested enough to truly make a move. Im sure he appreciates your friendship and likes what you have, but it makes sense that its not that deep to him.

I could be wrong, but hey thats my view from what I read.


I agree, re just friends & have always said that, hence the never telling him about the crush thing... my biggest thing was the whole friendship/serious comment. IDK, I'm not a mind reader, just going off what's happended over the course of a year+

Oh, the trips were never romantic or meant as such, Nothing ever happened (between us, can't speak on other people though). The whole sleeping together thing in Jamaica happened a few times cause it was one bed...not planned. I asked the resort to get two beds and he said he was cool with one bed as long as I was cool...