Tuesday, May 26, 2009

F**k Mars, Men Are From Neptune...

I think the phrase, “Our friendship is not that serious”, is what set-off the “girl” emotions in me last night. Of course I didn’t cry, or throw a tantrum, or even better, throw my glass of wine upside his head. Instead, I sat cool, calm & collected in front of him, not displaying what was going through my mind, finished the conversation, polished off the drink, headed to the second bar, and went home...all without telling him anything. Nothing. But I didn’t really understand it...at the time.

I don’t think he meant it in a way as to say we are not friends...however, in the context of what we were talking about, it really hit me, how HE views the “friendship” and now I use the term "friendship" loosely, because I view friends differently. I mean...

How can you hang out with someone 3 to 4 days a week and the friendship isn’t “that serious”. How can you spend a weekend in Miami together, gallivant for 5 days to Jamaica with each other, and introduce to friends, family members, co-workers and fraternity brothers...and the friendship is deemed not that serious.

I never thought we were on the acquaintance level. And I know, I’m not a BFF or branded & bound to him through some social order. However, I thought we were friends...maybe not Bonnie & Clyde ride & die, but the friendship "term" Diva & Brian would have sufficed in it's own right. I guess I got confused, by the fact that I'm the first person he hangs out with to get the weekend started, or the fact that he's told me a few things in confidence or I've seen a "few things".

I've mentioned before in comments & posts, that he's probably not into me...in "that way". And I get that. I'm not mad about it. I just don't understand how he really views it.

To be continued....

7 comments:

The EyeSPyZ !!! said...

I had to comment on this...yo F*CK him! I don't know of the friendship/relationship the two of you have. But any person that says "our friendship isn't that serious" is just a mean spirited one! If its' not that serious than don't f*ckin hang out with me mother f*cker. Sorry this post ruffled my feathers a lil bit!

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

Thanks Eyespyz, however as I said, I don't think he meant it in that way, under the context of what was said. I gotta finish it, but, at the time, that's how I took it. I dunno. I guess I thought we were "friends" moreso than anything else, but he views the "friendship" differently. I don't know how you can hang out with someone for more than a year, go on two vacations together (see naked), drink, hangout with almost every weekend, and meet fam & close friends, and well...I dunno.

Whatever

Mz Mami said...

whaaaaaaat??

**waiting for 2nd post to justify b's words**

must love movies said...

hey man
now i see why you deleted the number. i just don't think guys and ladies can be friends unless it lasts for years. lol however, i don't know what he meant by the statement but it was still harsh without him noticing and trying to explain himself. he seemed to like the gift did he not say thank you? you should have kept it for yourself. now i got to buy you one for your birthday.

Marrell said...

Sorry but I am going to have to agree with EyeSPyZ, fug him seriously. I have been lurking your site for awhile (love it) but this had me ticked off. To tell you the truth Brian posts have always rubbed me the wrong way. Anyway, I think sometimes people (esp. men) say certain things to gauge a reaction (test) from the other person. Even if that's not what he meant, it's still a disrespect, especially considering how much time is spent together between the two of you. But I digress. Ever think about just being cool on Brian, not even back burner but putting him in the oven? "If someone shows you who they are, believe them." Good luck with everything :)

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

@ MLM - He said thank you, and that it was really nice. He said he liked it, but I feel like sometimes people just say that stuff. I guess especially, after our evening together... in retrospect I'm sure he appreciated it and didn't expect it.

@ Marrell - Thanks. Yeah, many of times, re not hanging with him. It was "easy" just hanging with him. Like, no expectations, etc. And we had so much in common and a lot of fun. Not judgemental, not flaky, just. I think sometimes people say the first thing that comes to mind, and sometimes it's not meant the way it sounds. (I'll admit it, I was kinda hurt by the statement)

I've always tried to keep everything in perspective, and I take a man's word for what it is. I mentioned in earlier posts about him, about his "ways" with women, and how he acts. I just thought "our friendship" was different.

He brought up something awhile ago I said to him, "you've gained weight". I didn't mean it in a mean way, but the fact that he brought it up (a week later), showed me it probably bothered him. (he didn't really gain much, his abs just weren't the normal 6- pack he had when we were in Jamaica)

Don't get me wrong. He's a nice guy, just an ass hole. And I tell him all the time he's an ass hole. It's an oxymoron of sorts, but from my perspective (I've mentioned in passing) there were times (in Jamaica, Miami, many of times out on the town, where he could have "abused" our relationship, or allowed others to abuse it, and he didn't. We slept in the same bed together a few times in Jamaica and he was a perfect gentelman. So I don't think he's a complete dick. I think he said what came to mind, and I see it differently...

A few times he's told me how much he admires me, and how much respect he has for me. I don't think someone says that unless they really mean it.

I just think we "see" things differently

It is what it is... and to finish my long ass comment :)

My problem is, I don't tell people (guys)right away how I feel. I usually think about it (for a long time), cool off, or just not say anything. I've been told I don't show emotion or feelings or get upset in certain situations... (except that one time with Mr. H, and I was drunk throwing bricks) so maybe...awe hell IDK

Tunde said...

yeah. that sucks. even if that's what he really meant, there is a way in which you say things. i'm sorry to hear about this latest turn of events.