Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Unsolved Mysteries

I've never had an orgasm...the Big O, the Big Shebang...I think know I've came close a few times. You know, legs shaking, feeling like I'm going to explode, then he changes positions for whatever reason, it just disappears...I have a perfectly good theory, but I won't bore you with it. I guess I was just thinking about my latest sexcapade with Mr. H. I guess more like a horizontal 400 calorie burning work-out than anything else... it was a good workout, but I digress. I'm just curious...When did you realize you had the O, or are you still waiting for it?


Why is it always the ones you don't like, aren't into, are diagnosed crazy or are dodging and going into protective custody, the one's that call on time, text you constantly and profess their love to you while peeking in your first floor apartment window show you they like you, the one's you don't want?


So now that I got Brian's gift, I've been mulling over the card, do I get one, do I make it funny or sincere? When do I give it to him, at his going away party, alone??? I'm over-analyzing it. I should just throw it in a Safeway plastic bag, and drop it off.....right?


Why is Mr. Henry all of a sudden trying to resurface, he must have gotten the memo that Brian is leaving town...guess he missed the one about Summer.


I wanted to go Salsa dancing tonight, cause I haven't been in a while due to Heroes being my main obsession on Monday nights....I do not have that thing called a DVR...but I had a 50/50 chance of running into the Old Man, and those were odds I didn't feel like gambling with tonight...

23 comments:

must love movies said...

it took me awhile to really start having them and having them all the time. now i can make myself have them when i don't want it to last forever. lol you can have two types and one is way less common. i tell you one thing though the guy that made me have the other one i still love him. don't you have one when you masturbate?

question 2: b/c you aren't supposed to like everybody.

3: a safeway bag. get ya'll names engraved in it pow pals for life. lmao ( i wish you could hear the accent behind that one) then put it in a gift bag. a card would be nice. i'm sure he will kept both for a long time.

Shawn Smith said...

Get a sincere card, take Brian out to dinner and give it to him then.

If you wait till the party, then you risk the opportunity of loosing "the moment".

Tunde said...

yeah most women can't achieve vaginal orgasms. its just the way it is. *shrugs shoulders*

as far as the ones showing you they like you and you don't want them, that was the story of my life from high school till about the end of my college career. it still is a little to this point but now the ones that i want AND the ones that i don't want show me they want me (not to brag or anything).

i think if you and brian are friend's like that you would go out with him (alone) and give him his gift then. doesn't have to be anything extravagant.

yo, you watch heroes. thats my shit. i've been on it since the first episode. do you watch the webisodes with doyle (puppet man)?

The District's Buppie said...

Everything you spoke of are the conundrums that women face..
NO Orgasm, and the mystery of the guy you not feeling being the guy doing right...
its downright is not fair!!!

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

@ MLM - Nope, never had one solo. Also a few guy friends told me for the guy that does, I fall madly in love with him

Safeway bag, because I can recycle! Hmmm, I guess he's worth a little more than a safeway bag. Maybe a "green" reuseable Safeway bag

@ Shawn - CORNY... lol But I still love ya. Maybe just hanging at his place before we hit the town, then I can whip it out, and we can laugh about it over vodka

@ Tunde - So nonchalant about us & the O...lol, yeah Heroes was my Monday night obsession. Never got into the online thing...but I would be curious as to if they do a MOvie or not...hmmm, maybe a movie wouldn't be good... That was the only show I watched consistantly this year...

@ The District Buppie - 1st welcome, 2nd, to top it off, cute 4 inch heels, always seem to hurt about a few hours into the night... but they are so cute, it's deceiving

True2me said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
True2me said...

I personally believe not ever having an orgasm is the reason many many women don't care for sex that much, and can go months without sex and all that jazz. sad but true

I had my first one by someone else at 18, been having them ever since..

My first multiple/vaginal with my on again off again *sigh*....

yeah its the people you are the least interested in trying to holla the most...actually tho..i get stalked by the ones that aren't so bad as well lol

I agree w everyone else, make his gift more personal, give it to him alone

Skoolboi Krush said...

Okay maybe I'm late to the party but I'm just now finding out about all these women who can't have a vaginal orgasm. The women I've been with haven't had an issue. It may take a little more to achieve but we eventually get there.

As far as giving Brian his gift, I think you should take him out for a nice dinner and give him the card and say everything that you haven't said so far. Close the chapter for good.

It goes both ways with the people you aren't into showing you how they feel about you. The messed up thing is when you have mindblowing sex with the ones who you don't care about but the ones you really want a relationship with are just so so in bed.

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

@ True - I like sex, don't get me wrong...yeah I can go without it (not for that long, it's a great stress reliever) but I just never had the Big one, kind of California waiting on their Big One

@ Eveyone, I don't want to get all mushy & sentimental on him, cause that's not the nature of our relationship. I guess I'll forgoe the Safeway bag & opt for a nicer one, lol... i'll have to think about dinner...

Dr. J said...

You haven't been able to do it yourself? Or like he can't use his mouth to do it?

That's odd. I need more information.

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

@ Skoolboi - it's good you have patience... Mr. H does too, but then one day I lied to him and told him I had one, cause he kept trying, then a few months later he called me out on it

@ Dr. J - what info do you need??? Hmmm, I have many, many theories. 1 being, I really have never "been in love" so I could be holding back, No. 2 I was de-virginized at the tender age of 19, second semester in college. The whole time I was "praying", cause I used to be like "I was gonna wait till marriage"... then that went out the window... there are other theories... I will say Tony & Mr. H and two others came REALLY, REALLY close... but it's probably me... As far as oral, my first oral experience was in h.s. and it was his first too, he bit me... kinda left a mental scar for a few years... damn, hurts just thinking about it.

I'm sure I'm leaving stuff out...

oh and no, nothing traumatic has ever happened to me, "ie sexual abuse"

True2me said...

I personally think that Dc Diva just hasn't had a guy who knows what he is doing in that dept...*shrugs*

I dunno tho..

Dr. J said...

@dc - I see. I mean, that oral experience, yeah that can be a doozy. A bite is no bueno. In terms of falling in love, I don't know if that's it as much as you need to just let go.

I however have heard of this problem before, so I am not going to be the silly fool who is like, I bet you I know what would make you O. Because maybe that's just something that doesn't happen for everyone.

Watch out now, the longer you wait, when and if it does happen you don't want to be over there sitting on the edge of the bed crying like it's the rapture or something.

StarrBURST! said...

There have been some guys to bring me close as hell also but then....it just phases out. I dunno. I won't say they weren't good in bed (well some weren't) but the ones who were, it just never happened with them. Maybe one day. Lol.

Yeah Brian's gift shouldn't be mushy at all. The relationship wasn't mushy so don't let your last time spent be a ball of mush.

I so feel the whole ppl you aren't interested in. I try and give them chances though. We may go out somewhere or see a movie and if I still don't feel that connection, I can't say I didn't try. If they keep it up though afterwards then they need to just get the hell on!

Anonymous said...

I know you're probably not gonna post this comment...but what about the time you passed out. I think we came to the conclusion that was as closeto the big "o" as you were gonna get LMAO!

Diva: I passed out and when I came to...

POW: You passed out

Diva: Yeah

POW. SCREEEEMMM! BRUAAHHHHHH! Damn can I get one of those

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

POW! *yelling at you* - uhhh, I forgot about that one, but... that doesn't count, cause I passed out

@ StarBurst - according to Dr. J, we'll be balling like the Rapture is coming!

@ Dr. J, when I go missing for a few days, you'll know why. Send the National Guard, on the third day...

@ True - I must give a few thier props tho', still not sure... not that concerned about it anymore... it'll happen...

favorisntfair said...

Hey Diva! :) I think that you should give it to him alone with a sincere card. He'll like that.

BlkBond said...

Diva, the last few posts have been depressing, and now you reveal that you have not had an orgasm. Wow.
Women should be saluted, because if I couldn't climax, what would be the point? Yet, some of you still participate.

Online sister, I will light a candle for you. lol.

Bond. BlkBond.

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

Geeeeze Blk Bond, depressing? Really :/

But I'm not depressed, sex is a good thing lol... it'll be even better when I get the big O

Anonymous said...

Wow, have you told dudes in the past that you haven't had one? If a chick told me that I would take it as a challenge and would get to work trying, lol. Its almost like when someone tells you something can't be done and you take it as a challenge to do it.

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

Anonymous - Unfortunately yes, one day Mr. H & I had sex for 10 hours.... I couldn't do it anymore, so I lied & told him I came, although he knew I didn't. It's like a challenge, they keep trying until they run out of energy....they don't get it though. I do ENJOY sex...just not energizer 10 hour marathons...maybe 1 or 2 hours...

Anonymous said...

Yeah I guess like an actual marathon its better when you have a big finish to look fwd too, lol.

Purple Pisces said...

theorists say that it's a mental block, what do you think yours could be?
Yea I've orgasmed the second time I had sex actually, my mindset from then on was that I truly love sex, truly enjoy. All I need is a mental and physical attraction and I'm good to go!