Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The Vault: Dessert On A Dime

So, I'm going home for a few days and I thought I'd reach back into the vault and tell you about a not so yummy dessert date. Around the same time I met the coke bottle glasses guy I met this other guy...we'll call him "Tyrone". I went on a binge and went out like 5 days in a row with my boy Chuck who was here visiting. The week he was here, I met like ten guys, most, ok all under the pre-tense of alcohol...what's new? Anyways, so the following week, I made it my mission to go out on as many dates as possible just for the hell of it. Tyrone called me one day to see if I wanted to go out. During the conversation, he kept complimenting me, and you know, just being really nice, etc, etc. How bad could it be right?

I had a dinner date the day we agreed to go out, so I suggested dessert. He offered to pick me up. Although I don't agree with guys picking me up on the first few dates (i.e. stalkers lurk), I agreed because at the time I lived in a fairly large apartment complex. So anyways, Tyrone gives me the disclaimer, that he really didn't have a lot of money. Being nice, I suggested we go Dutch, I just got out of college myself, so I knew how it could be. And, I mean we were only doing dessert. Surely that wouldn't be a problem. He says he could pay for "our" desert and that he'll call me when he's downstairs.

He picks me up in an old Cutlass or something along those lines. I didn't mind that. I'm not a car snob, however, when I opened the door, I was smacked in the face, by thick fog (i.e. Mary Jane, 4-20, weed). Ok...so I know where this is going. He was decent looking. Subtract the years of inhaling, he probably could have been an 8, throw on some nice clothes, he could have been pushing 9.5. Digressing.

We go to Clyde's. Clyde's was my choice quite often back then because it wasn't too far from my place, it was in a well lit area, and the prices were decent. We sit and chat & place our orders. I skip the drink and get like a $5.00 dessert and water, mind you I had just came from a dinner date, so I wasn't really hungry, or pressed for food. We talk, have a good conversation, then the bill comes. He reaches for it and puts it down. I wait a few seconds, then I pick it up. It's $13 something with tax.

Tyrone, then proceeds to pull out change...i.e. coins...i.e. not dollar bills.

Tyrone: Hey, I'm sorry I don't know if I have enough. I went to the Metro today and they gave me back all of these quarters. Can you take care of the rest?

Me: Uhhh, ok, how much do you have?

Tyrone: $3 something

(the fucker, didn't even have enough to cover his dessert or tip)

Me: I got it.

So I paid. (Mind you, it was only like $13.00, but how lame is that, right???) Anyways, we get up and leave and I'm still chill. He asks me if I'm ready to go straight home. I use the excuse that it's late and I have to work in the morning. We pull up to my apartment complex, he decides he wants to talk. What in the hell do we have to talk about????

He then proceeds to ask me if we should finish our conversation upstairs....uhhh, my apartment??? (no way) I kindly decline...citing the work thing again.

Tyrone: But why? We were having such a good conversation and I'm feeling you and I think you are feeling me too. I just wanna talk.

Me: I really do have to get up early, sorry. Besides I don't know you like that.

Tyrone: But that's why I wanna finish our conversation, so you can get to know me. I promise, I'll sit on the floor. I gotta get up early too.

Me: No. Sorry. Drive safely. Thanks for a good evening.

I get out the car, no looking back, pissed because he couldn't even afford his "own" dessert, and he wanted to "come" up...WTF???

I get upstairs, and he calls me to try to make his case again.... NO, HELL NO. NEEEEEXXXXTTTTT!

(I promise the next time I dig in the vault, I will pull up an exceptionally good date!!!)

BTW, went out with Jason today, more on that tomorrow!!!


True2me said...

lmao..hey dcdating

OMG he is super wack for tryin you

I got a ride home once by a guy, waaaaaaaay before he took me home I said you not coming up so don't ask, he still tried


that has got to be the corniest thing ever


True - *sigh* right. I guess you can't blame a guy for trying. For every ten chicks they ask, one is bound to say yes...

True2me said...

you mean for every ten TIMES they ask

After a while I tell them to kick rocks

Cheekie said...

Did he seriously try, "Can I come up" after not PAYING? A lot of guys can't even come up on the first date even if they do pay (especially if you don't know him like that), but after you already got strikes against you? What the hell does he think you look like, Desperate Debbie?

Journey to my soul said...

damn...he pulled out 3 dollars in change? Where do you find these dudes? I mean they dont even have a sense of pride and dignity. I see why its easy to shine in dc with dudes setting the standards so low.

And I never even thought dudes ask to come up. Ive never asked. I mean pretty much you get invited up if she wants to invite you.
I guess I just dont sweat females like that to ask to come up. but for real, this dude really messed up, going on a date with 3 dollars of change. I guess he normally treats his dates to the dollar menu. lol

Dr. J said...

@ Journey - I ask myself the same question all the time. It's actually what drew me to this blog in the first place.

True2me said...


i blog about dc men all the time. The women here let them get away with MURDER ya hear...MUUURRDDEERRRRRR


@ Cheekie - obviously he didn't get the MEMO

@ Journey - yeah it was pretty bad. I meet guys everywhere (gym, bars, club, walking, driving, store) Don't worry, I'm not stupid, he never got a call back or second thought...I just kept it moving.

I guess I should tell you guys about some of the good ones huh ;)

Journey to my soul said...

@Dr J, True2me & Diva: I have alot female friends so I hear their stories. I mean its crazy. I have heard of dudes pulling the "I forgot my wallet in the house" move. Dudes asking a woman to pay on the first date, using women etc etc. I mean its amazing the stories I hear. Cant blame some women for just being tired & hurt after dealing with all that.

But one thing I can say is, some women do encourage these dudes. Just like women say they dont like that "hey ma", "hey shawty" stuff on the streets. Dudes stay doing it. Makes me think it still works, because if it didnt they would change up their game. So sometimes its the women that accept less that encourage these dudes and ruin it for others.

BlkBond said...

Diva, these stories are KILLING me. I mean, damn. I feel like you are meeting the corniest, lames in all of the district. Damn...well, this does explains why I got so much love when I lived there...

DaniB said...

Please, please pull out a good one from the vault. I'm starting to lose hope here

Tunde said...


wait he wanted to go out on a date but he only had $3 to his name? i think he had more important things to worry about than going on a date. i swear you have the funniest dating stories. i wish my life were that interesting.

also it seems pretty desperate to ask to come up.

Anonymous said...

I've sat here for like 20 min trying to remember a good date you went on and I can only think of 1 1/2. The night with island prince and maybe that one with that guy at home where yall went downtown and you met his family. However, I was trying to think of a good date i've been on and couldn't think of one LOL



@ Dani B & POW- I went on a few in college, and some here (not including the one's with Mr. H) Even went on a few with some some past daters...they were never anything to really jump up & down about though, I guess...no butterflies

@ Tunde - well if you went on a date with a chick and she only had $3.00, you'd probably never find out she only had $3.00 because you would have paid for the date!!!

Think really hard though, I'm sure you have something interesting to divluge

NowIamNappy said...

wow I'm still trippin that ole dude only had $3. why not wait for another day if you didnt have the money. Unbelievable!!


@ Now - Yeah, he was pressed. Why not come up with a cute alternative, like a museum... DC has tons of free one's. Then I would have probably went on a second date...