Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Epiphany in the Shower

"Showers are where I come up with some of my greatest ideas." - Diva

So this morning as I was showering, I had an epiphany! I didn’t want to talk to any of the guys anymore. The guys being Mr. Henry, Tony & the Old Man. Before I lost my balls (figuratively speaking), I began making the moves. The first one on the list Tony.

Tony - Came over last night. As we were laying there having pillow talk, he asked me a question I absolutely despise. “So, why aren’t you in a relationship”. I mean I really, really hate that question. Maybe it’s the way a guy says it, or maybe it was the fact that he asked me after we fooled around, but it’s so loaded. It’s like he’s trying to figure me out or size me up. I wanted to retort, and say “cause you’re a manic depressive and I only like you for the sex”, but I didn’t. I gave him some b.s. answer and changed the subject. We talked awhile longer about him going to therapy, not working, (nor looking), and about other nonsense, then he left.

I know it’s not right, but I sent him a text this morning. 1) I knew he would be asleep, 2) I had to do it right then and there before I changed my mind 3) I wanted it to be the first thing he see’s when he gets up.

Mr. Henry was next. He doesn’t light my fire. That’s it. I like him, but I don’t wanna have sex with him anymore. I called him after I sent Tony a text.

Me: You up? Did you go to the gym?

Mr. Henry: Yeah, I woke up late, I’m gonna go tonight

Me: I decided I don’t want to have sex with you anymore because I want a relationship (lie), and I know you don’t want one (true), so I think we should just be friends. Don’t get me wrong the sex is good (not anymore), but it’s getting in the way.

Mr. Henry: You’re right, I’m not ready for that

Me: Good, but we can still be friends, ok, get ready for class, I gotta go

Last but not least...the Old Man. I called him, but I knew he was at work, and the conversation would be too loaded and he’d have a million f’n questions.

Me: Good Morning

Old Man: What? You called me? I can’t believe it, Kitten never calls me in the morning

Me: Yep, hell must have froze over

Old Man: You sound good, it is cold outside. How are you my dear?

Me: I’m good. We need to talk.

Old Man: About what?

Me: Relationships, us. I know you are at work, so tonight ok?

Old Man: Do you want to come to my place?

Me: No.

Old Man: Why?

Me: Because I don’t.

So that’s it, in a nutshell. No more romping with Tony or Mr. H, no more dating the Old Man. Just tired of them... In other news, I may be going on a date tonight with someone new...we’ll see how I feel.


DaniB said...

Do you really think Mr. Henry is going to go away that easy? i don't know. I've been in that situation before where I let my fellings be known and they were ignored but because there was such history there I just kind of gave him a pass. Anyway, Tony is another story. You know he is diagnosed crazy and you told him after you gave him some. He's gonna show up at your door crying...naked LOL

Tunde said...

it gets like that sometimes. you just have to clean house. spring cleaning. speaking of spring cleaning, are you sure you're just not feeling this way because its starting to get warm outside again. you know most breakups happen at the beginning of spring. :-}

Shawn Smith said...

Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow - Flavor Flav


@ Dani B - Lol, naked huh? Sounds like that may have happened to ya ;)

@ Tunde - that's it!!! Warmth! i was thinking about that the other day. I seen soooo many cuties when I was in Georgetown, and here I was, walking with someone who was old enough to be my dad! Hell he was probably around when dirt was invented...

@ Shawn - yep

Anonymous said...

i'm going to e-mail you.
do yo do this often? just wondering.
stick to your guns.

Reign said...

I'm still crushed about Brian... but I think you need new company.

@ Tunde: so is that what's going on with my friend... he's fading the last few weeks... hmmm

Cheekie said...

Hmm, the breakup with The Old Man will be the most interesting (blog-wise) because like you said, I'm sure he'll have a million questions. Much luck (assuming it hasn't happened already)

LOL @ Shawn's Flava Flav "wow" not fitting in the text box.

And yes, Spring Forward ain't just about Daylight Savings Time. Time to move forward...to something new. Whew, I can't WAIT 'til we start having steady warm weather in the Chi. Right now March is kinda iffy because it goes back and forth.

Journey to my soul said...

Old man is definitely not going down easily. I mean you said dude calls you every morning? I think he accepted his role a long time ago and u taking the little hes got from you away? Going to be interesting...keep us posted.


@MLM - No, honestly, I can't really recall a time, well I'll have to Mull it over somemore in terms of other guys, but Mr. H is used to it

@Reign - Well Brian is kind of a lost cause, the ladies will love him in Texas!!! ... and yep, as soon as it hits 75 degrees, there will be a lot of broken relationships and slow fades....

@Cheekie & Journey - yeah...I've been trying to figure out what I'm going to say all day. I'm not an ego crusher, so I think a little white lie won't hurt this time...you know, something like "hey old man, I'm moving to Tokyo, I mean Mars, yeah, I'll be the first living person to survive there"

Crystal Monae said...

You are freakin' hilarious! This proves my point that men are every where asking that dumb question about relationships. Love the blog.

Chaotically Calm said...

Daaaaaammmmmnnnnn Diva, when you drop the bomb you really drop it. Kudos to you though for getting them the f out of there. On the Tony front you better watch out crazy birds don't just fly away! I also have a feeling that Mr. Henry will do a little lurking. And I never really liked the Old Man so step off grandpa!

Ha ha but good for you and off to Mr. New!


@ Crystal - (Thanks!) Or when I was in college they used to say, "is it by choice or circumstance" or the one's that were missing a few crayons "you ain't got a man???"

@Chaotically - yeah, Mr. H will probably still be a friend to some extent. But no sex in the champagne room, or my bedroom, livingroom, or kitchen, or bathroom anymore...atleast not with him