Sunday, March 22, 2009

Two Ways to Take It

He started again. Brian. Ass smacks. Now, it's been awhile, (i.e. at least 7 months or so) I'm going to just blame it on the alcohol, because really, I don't know how to take it. Last night, we, along with P.A.T.T. went out. We danced the night away (literally). So here's the funny thing, maybe it's not that funny, but Brian had out of town company visiting. A girl. And...he left her at his place. Friday, he told me he was sick of her, and couldn't wait for her to leave...Last night, he left her. So when I asked about her & what was going on, he said...and I quote..."I'm done with her" (end quote)

Damn.


In Other News

I met this guy (whose name I can't remember) and, I don't know if I was seeing things, but it looked like half of his gums were split. Think dentures on the top, but for half of the top row. I can't explain it. It reminds me of this one time, when I met this guy with coke bottle glasses. I have no problem with guys who wear glasses, in fact, the right pair, is sexy, but I digress. So anyways, it wasn't just his glasses, that were bad. It was everything. But, when I met him, I had vodka goggles. So later that week, he calls me, we set up a date, and on my way to the meeting spot, I walk pass this guy. I see him, but I divert my eyes (eye contact, gets you in trouble) and silently pray it's not him. I walk in the place, sit down, and order a drink. I'm watching guys come in, about 5 minutes goes by, and the "No Eye Contact Guy" walks in. (Shit) Then he walks straight towards me, and low and behold, it's the coke bottle glasses guy!

I smile, and we exchange pleasantries. So there were some other things, that the vodka made me forget. He had a glass eye! And his other eye, was cockeyed! So at this point, we're talking, and I can't help but to look at him. I'm all for eye contact, but I didn't know what to do!!! I'm not a rude or superficial person, so I try to make the most of the situation. I pick a spot on his forehead, so it looks like I'm looking at him while we converse, without being rude.

So aside from his glass eye, which I could have gotten past if he was sexy, his conversation was LAME. He said he was a music producer, and he was working on his music career (like whatever dude), and the list goes on...

So yeah, that's who the guy I met this weekend reminded me of. This time I didn't have vodka goggles. More like tequila.

13 comments:

Tunde said...

vodka goggles. lol. i've been there a couple of times. also, i've been in brian's shoes a couple of times.

Christin said...

oh sweet minty Jesus *drinks a swig of Grey Goose for you* lol. I couldn't imagine the glass eye and the cockeye. I think you handled it well though. That's good finding a focal point and sticking to it...lol. The alcohol will have you seeing things in a haze.

must love movies said...

i'm laughing at you!

must love movies said...

2nd comment
what the hell is wrong with some guys?

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

Oh, I forgot to mention, he had a growth on the side of his face, by his ear. It was pretty gross...forget beer goggles, vodka goggles are not a good look, when meeting people. I don't do it anymore :) (well I try not to)

LOL @ Christin - "Minty Jesus"??? I heard of "baby Jesus" but not the Minty one!

@Tunde - The crazy thing about all of this, is he's actually a nice guy, but pulled an ass hole move, like, if I'm coming to visit you, you are not leaving me at home. I'm going too!

He has "different" company this coming weekend.

Shawn Smith said...

You know what, sounds like you all need at least one sober friend when you go out. One to tell you when it is or isn't safe to meet someone when you've been drinking.

Cheekie said...

*cracking up at the glass eye and cockeye* Talk about double diss. And YES, eye contact can get you in trouble. Once those eyes lock, there's no turning back...especially with a persistent brotha.

Co-sign on the "sober friend", Shawn. Gotta find one of those.

Chaotically Calm said...

LMFAO, Diva this is tooo f'n funny. You should always make sure the designated driver that night gets a good look at the possible somebody before you give your number away, especially when drinking hard liquor. Ha Ha!

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

@ Shawn, Cheekie & Chaotically - Brian & I take cabs, so we usually don't have a designated driver...this weekend, P.A.T.T was sober, but in the corner "baby talking" with someone she met, so she didn't see the suspect...
Brian, would just let me do it, (even if he was sober)cause he doesn't want to look like a cock blocker

The suspect was cute in the face, I just can't remember if he had the denture thing going on...and at like 29(?) that's not good. What's gonna happen when he's 80?

Marrell said...

LMAO! The first time I head over to your site and you got my laughing so hard my boss wants to know whats so funny. Glass eye, cockeyed and growths, oh my!

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

@ Marrell - that was the longest hour & ten minutes of my life...if only you knew :/

thanks for visiting

BlkBond said...

Diva: You are dying out in this dating world my online sister. Glass eye? Sexy? That's like an oxymoron. You need to stay out of those bama bars in germantown...

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

@Blk Bond - I was in Georgetown...the glasseye guy was just a comparison...that was like two years ago...blame it on the tequila shots...but quite honestly, I don't take anyone I meet in a bar that seriously...