I'd Do Him, Road Trip, Text Messages, Dirty Old Men

I don't know where to begin...in no particular order

5. Text Messages with the BFF:

Me: I was so horny last night. I couldn't fall asleep. I don't see how you went a whole year. I'm barely through month 3

POW: LOL. It was Hard the first couple of months. That's why I had B.O.B

Later, the same day...

Me: Ewwww. The police officer is a horn dog. He was trying to j.o. to my voice

POW: Ewww. Most cops are

4. Police-Officer Back story: So the officer I met Sunday night, called me Sunday & yesterday. We talked yesterday for a little bit. He kept telling me how sexy he thought my voice was and that it was causing him to be bad...next thing I know he's grunting like a dog in heat and is making noises, and is telling me he's being bad. I told him bye, and hung up mid-grunt.

He called me tonight....I pushed ignore call...


3. Mr. H and I are embarking on a 9-hr road trip on Friday. To be continued...


2. I talked to Kiddie-care daycare tonight, we have a tentative date set-up again

1. I'm not sure if it's the fact that I'm curious about the little young thing's stamina and energy (Jubi has me convinced by her previous comment) but I think, I pretty much made up my mind that he's doable, and I'd do him. It's up to him to mess it up.

Most women know whether or not we'd do a guy anyways. The guys usually mess it up, either through talking or stupid actions that has us clutching our panties tightly. Oh and they get moved to the category, of "never-mind", what was I thinking... "I wouldn't do him with a 10-foot pole".

36 Hours in Boston, Semi-Date, Convo's With Brian

I'm drinking and blogging. The two don't mix, but I need to give my updates.

Made it back from Boston in one piece. Boston, Boston. I didn't see much of it. More on that tomorrow. What I really want to blog about is my conversation with Brian. Ummm. We talked for a lil over thirty minutes. I called him. We talked about Vegas, things to do there, and how he just brought his ticket to go home that weekend. My trip to Boston, N.O., his birthday, my birthday (he extended an invite to N.O. if I don't do Cancun, said I would like it) his new drinking buddy (the flask), other upcoming things.

(Side Note: I had two margarita's & a homemade vodka, lemon juice & peach schnapps, I hope I don't read this tomorrow & be like WTF: End Side Note)

Here are our e-mail exchanges from last week (uneditied):


E-mail (Diva to Brian)

No e-mail, no call, text, flair messages??? You suck ass, ass munch... How are you?


E-Mail (Brian to Diva)

My bad! How are you?? I did think of texting you to let you know the flask has become my new road buddy. Meaning fillinf her up and making drinks in N.O before I go out. So how was DC when all my Bruhs were there?


Response (Diva to Brian)

I'm cool. I'm going to Boston on Friday. I went out to one of your sponsored events (Bruhs) one night, but for the most part I did other stuff. Went to Z-bar one night...those dudes are aggressive. Someone tried to lick my face...eeewwww I applied for a couple of International gigs. One is a 9-month assignment in Africa, Jamaica, Asia, Mexico or Brazil the other is a 5 week volunteer thing, the thing I told you about! In any case cross your fingers for me!

I think you should name your new flask?

Have you met any cool peeps to hang with?

If you wanna join me & my BFF in Vegas, the offer is still opened. The 3rd-6th of September. Party like a rock star!!! (well atleast I plan on it, you know how I roll)



Response (Brian to Diva)

FUCK I so forgot abt the Vegas trip. I so Could of gone bc I am going home during that time;-( Well party for me. Yes, my Bruhs can be a hand full at times. I hope things work out for you and maybe you will get the Jamaica one ;-) I know how you like that place.


In Other News
I went on a semi-date yesterday. We worked out...literally. A mile & half of jogging, a mile & a half of walking, push-ups & running stairs.


In Other, Other News
Do Not Answer, aka Brooklyn sent me a text apologizing for acting weird. He blamed it on the alcohol. Then he called me three times. I did not answer, nor return the text

Signs of Stalkery Crazy People - Do Not Answer

6 Signs of Crazy ---- (This means you Brooklyn)



1. If he/she calls you four times in one day: Brooklyn called me four times yesterday. The first two times I was out & about & didn’t answer. I called him back to see what he wanted. He was just calling to say “hey” he said & to see if I wanted to meet up because he was in the area. After explaining to him that I was hanging with the chick friends, and then will be out of town, he was like “Oh”. Fast-forward about five hours later. Just as I’m getting home after my semi-bar crawl, he calls. I answer. The conversation. OMG. Words can’t describe it (in a BAD way). I get off the phone with him. He calls me back 3 minutes later. WTF dude?


2. He/She looks you up on Facebook, can’t find you & tells you he/she looked you up: Ok. I heart Google. I will do my research on a guy in a minute if I feel the need to do so. However, I am not going to “admit” “friend” or stalk said guy through social networks.

Brooklyn: I looked you up on FB but couldn’t find you?
Me: (I don’t want to be found idiot) Ummm, I don’t go by my last name.
Brooklyn: I used your e-mail address too
Me: That’s not the e-mail address I use for that account


3. If he/she talks about marriage excessively within the first 10 conversations: Not only did Brooklyn talk about marriage, he used the words “us”, “we”, “kids” in sentences.

Brooklyn: I really want to get married.
Me: (silence is golden)
Brooklyn: Don’t you wanna get married? I can see “us” having our two kids together
Me: (WTF)
Brooklyn: I’m really feeling you, if you like someone what’s the worst that could happen

Pump your breaks little one. I don’t know you. I don’t know your last name. I just channeled my inner psychic capabilities, and you did not appear in my future! Sorry.


4. He/She talks EXCESSIVELY about how much they like you in the 1st, 2nd, 3rd conversation: Red flag. Ok, they could be trying to get into your panties (boxers if you’re a guy) so they think flattery works. Wrong. Yes, I love compliments, but when you get too excessive with it, I start to zone out. Furthermore, that does not work with me. You loose cool points.


Brooklyn: I don’t know what it is, but I’m really feelin' you
Me: Thanks
Brooklyn: No, really. You’re smart, attractive, mysterious. Like I wanna know everything about you.
Me: (Pause, on twitter)
Brooklyn: You’re different from girls I’ve dealt with in the past
Me: (Twitter is addictive)
Brooklyn: I really really like you. You’re gonna be my future wife
Me: (#WDDDA)

 
5. He/She tries to tell you woe are me stories: Do not, do not talk about how bad you got it, how hard it is for you, nor about ex relationships. I don’t ask, therefore I do not want to hear it. Brooklyn started out good the first couple of times we talked, but then it just went down, down, down hill. He basically committed involuntary suicide.


6. He/She should not ask you to move in with you: Runnnnnnnnnn. Words can’t express it. I don’t know where to begin with this portion of the convo. Needless to say, Brooklyn went from saying we should move in together, to I’ll pay you to sleep on your couch. This is where I had to end the convo.

Me: I do not know you like that
Me: I don’t need a roommate, nor am I looking for one
Me: Deuces

He is forever known as do not answer

Thank God he doesn’t know where I live, what I drive & where I work. Fucking crazy ass.

The Weekend Update: I Suck

So this post was supposed to happen yesterday but I’m addicted to twitter (follow me), so I did nothing. I suck. The weekend was cool. No dancing on bars since I’m not engaging in my favorite pastime. Day 16 no vodka. I’m really serious about rocking my bikini’s in the DR (this one, this one & this one). Last week I started running. No vodka. No soda. No juice. Just water, club soda or green tea (although I slipped & had cranberry juice when I was clubbing...just a buffer between me and the vodka, that’s all)

Speaking of going out, Friday I was supposed to go out with Latino Papi Alex. I really didn’t feel like it, so I decided to make plans 1) knowing he hadn’t sent flair messages by Friday morning. 2) I know he’s flakey, and 3) he probably has a girlfriend. Yep. He only sends text messages. No calls.

His m.o. is trying to keep the lines of communication open by sending me “Mami, I miss you messages” (probably mass text messages) weekly, then once he gets a response, setting something up to make it seem like he’s so interested. Little does he know, that Sprint has this little online feature. I can now block numbers I don’t want to receive text messages from, yea for Sprint! (I’ll be on there this week entering phone numbers) So anyways, back to Friday.

I made plans with some chick friends. We went bar hoping, then I met another chick friend on U Street, for this waaayyy cool “world beat” party. Everyone from every nationality was there. It was SO amazing. It was like an underground we are the world lets all hug and be friends kind of place. Although it began to feel like you were walking into a hot box after awhile, it was so much fun. I danced so much my dress was soaking wet by the time I made it home. Good times. Oh, and there were some absolutely gorgeous guys there.

Saturday I had to take care of business. Latino Papi Alex sent me text messages. “you forgot mami”. Ummm, no idiot, you forgot. I was extremely tired, but I received an invite to hang on U street again by a couple of different people. I went to one spot. Scoped it out, then decided, to bounce. Ummm, was feeling blah.

Sunday Devin & I hung out for a bit on U Street (noticing a theme here). We had a good time.

This weeks agenda...TBD.


In Other News:

Not to rain on your parade, but I have to be a good Diva & keep you informed. Yesterday I came across this: New HIV Strain Found. Wrap it up people.

F'N A

Fu***n A.

Slap me.

Do Not Answer called me. I recognized the number right away. I took a deep breath and answered.

Me: Hello

Do Not Answer: Hey what's up

Me: Nothing how are you

Do Not Answer: Good.You called me yesterday

Me: Yes


Ok. I know what you're thinking. Who is "Do Not Answer".

It's Mr. Henry, and in my defense, I was on my way to Old Man Benjamin's house. I was listening to a CD when I started feeling sad, nostalgic...and in my quick moment of weakness I called.

No one answered. I hung up without leaving a voicemail.

He called me tonight when I was on my way to Brian's place.

Ahhh.

Don't worry. I'm not that stupid. I'm not going back down that road.

I just had a quick, really quick moment. It's over now.