Signs of Stalkery Crazy People - Do Not Answer

6 Signs of Crazy ---- (This means you Brooklyn)



1. If he/she calls you four times in one day: Brooklyn called me four times yesterday. The first two times I was out & about & didn’t answer. I called him back to see what he wanted. He was just calling to say “hey” he said & to see if I wanted to meet up because he was in the area. After explaining to him that I was hanging with the chick friends, and then will be out of town, he was like “Oh”. Fast-forward about five hours later. Just as I’m getting home after my semi-bar crawl, he calls. I answer. The conversation. OMG. Words can’t describe it (in a BAD way). I get off the phone with him. He calls me back 3 minutes later. WTF dude?


2. He/She looks you up on Facebook, can’t find you & tells you he/she looked you up: Ok. I heart Google. I will do my research on a guy in a minute if I feel the need to do so. However, I am not going to “admit” “friend” or stalk said guy through social networks.

Brooklyn: I looked you up on FB but couldn’t find you?
Me: (I don’t want to be found idiot) Ummm, I don’t go by my last name.
Brooklyn: I used your e-mail address too
Me: That’s not the e-mail address I use for that account


3. If he/she talks about marriage excessively within the first 10 conversations: Not only did Brooklyn talk about marriage, he used the words “us”, “we”, “kids” in sentences.

Brooklyn: I really want to get married.
Me: (silence is golden)
Brooklyn: Don’t you wanna get married? I can see “us” having our two kids together
Me: (WTF)
Brooklyn: I’m really feeling you, if you like someone what’s the worst that could happen

Pump your breaks little one. I don’t know you. I don’t know your last name. I just channeled my inner psychic capabilities, and you did not appear in my future! Sorry.


4. He/She talks EXCESSIVELY about how much they like you in the 1st, 2nd, 3rd conversation: Red flag. Ok, they could be trying to get into your panties (boxers if you’re a guy) so they think flattery works. Wrong. Yes, I love compliments, but when you get too excessive with it, I start to zone out. Furthermore, that does not work with me. You loose cool points.


Brooklyn: I don’t know what it is, but I’m really feelin' you
Me: Thanks
Brooklyn: No, really. You’re smart, attractive, mysterious. Like I wanna know everything about you.
Me: (Pause, on twitter)
Brooklyn: You’re different from girls I’ve dealt with in the past
Me: (Twitter is addictive)
Brooklyn: I really really like you. You’re gonna be my future wife
Me: (#WDDDA)

 
5. He/She tries to tell you woe are me stories: Do not, do not talk about how bad you got it, how hard it is for you, nor about ex relationships. I don’t ask, therefore I do not want to hear it. Brooklyn started out good the first couple of times we talked, but then it just went down, down, down hill. He basically committed involuntary suicide.


6. He/She should not ask you to move in with you: Runnnnnnnnnn. Words can’t express it. I don’t know where to begin with this portion of the convo. Needless to say, Brooklyn went from saying we should move in together, to I’ll pay you to sleep on your couch. This is where I had to end the convo.

Me: I do not know you like that
Me: I don’t need a roommate, nor am I looking for one
Me: Deuces

He is forever known as do not answer

Thank God he doesn’t know where I live, what I drive & where I work. Fucking crazy ass.

Crazy

If someone tells you they are crazy, then they are probably crazy...and you're crazy for dealing with them...so I guess I'm crazy.


There's only one solution.


I need to cut all ties with Tony.


I gotta go to sleep...Jamaica...T-minus 5 hours.


I talked to him.


He's crazy. Really, not even playing. I'm gonna research his disease/degree of craziness...tomorrow.


Goodnight