When's The Last Time You've Been Tested???

- April 28th, 2010 - I'm negative for everything under the sun, including BS and I have proof -Diva

I remember in high school we took this health seminar, that was kind of a "scare you straight" moment. They showed graphic detailed pictures of every disease imaginable. I crossed my legs & vowed to keep my muffin box locked.
Well college happened, and let's just say, I shared my muffin a few times....but those pictures always lingered in my thoughts....which had me paranoid (even when I used prophylactics) so paranoid, that I decided to go cold turkey for long periods of time.

Last week the CDC released another HIV Study. It boggles me, how people are still getting the itchies, with all of the PSA's, posters, free condoms, etc. going on... Ummm here are a few DC specific stats:

• D.C.’s AIDS rate is higher than that of any U.S. state. DC AIDS rate is approximately 10 times that of the U.S. in general.
• D.C.’s AIDS rate is higher than these major cities: Baltimore, Philadelphia, New York City, Detroit, and Chicago.
• From 2004 to 2008, 3,312 new AIDS cases were diagnosed in D.C. African-Americans accounted for 86 percent of those cases.
• More people in D.C. are testing positive for HIV: From 2004 to 2008, the “number of persons testing positive” for HIV in D.C. increased by 353 percent, from 246 in 2004 to 1,115 in 2008. (via Wash City Paper)

                                                                                                         
Moral of the stats - WRAP it up or keep your snakes caged & muffin boxes closed

A Little More TMI...OK Too Much TMI

Yes...it’s true we are back together (almost 2 weeks now). Long story short, in his mind, we never broke up. He came over one day as if all was right with the world and the Celtics won (like how I slipped that in)... anyways, we talked, blah, blah, blah and made up. The next day we had make-up sex. (he was on time-out that night, and thus had to work really really hard for it).



Oh yeah, that same day, his sister wanted to talk to me and thank me for being there during the whole mom thing and to tell me what a great, fabulous person I am, and how I am the sun, moon and stars to Klein (ok...she didn’t say moon, but you know...I’m really terrific and such)

Speaking of talking to the family members, his mom wanted to talk to me yesterday, to express the same sentiment and to invite me to see her. Hmmm, what can I say, they heart me!

Ok, so here’s where the confusion comes in about talking to the one eyed monster. We are laying in bed, cuddling, and he knows I’ve been riding the crimson tide...but his one eyed monster won’t go to sleep, and kept poking me....no matter where I moved.

Me: Baby go to sleep


Klein: I can’t...I’m trying. You make me so horny.


Me: You want me to talk to him


Klein: Yes

(I kiss him, Klein moans...I get ready to do a little more...)

Klein: Baby no.

Me: Why not? (IN MY HEAD: ...what the eff? I’m tired and I want you to stop grinding on me cause I wanna go to sleep...so I need to make sure your Johnson stops poking me)


Klein: Because we can’t have sex.


Me: I know, but I want you to come, so we (really me) can go to sleep.

Klein: You’re my girlfriend, and I don’t want to...

(I cut him off)

Me: I’m not gonna let you come in my mouth


Klein: No, you’re special. I love you and you mean a lot to me. I don’t want you to blow him, unless it’s immediately followed by us making love.

Me: Why, I don’t get it. If I’m your girlfriend, and we are in a monogamous relationship, and I want to...

Klein: Because you’re special...if it’s some random chick I don’t care about, I’d let her and go to sleep, but I respect and love you...


Me: But I’d let you please me all you want, and we don’t have to have sex afterwards...


Klein: Come here, I love you. (he kissed me, and pulled me close)


Me: (laying there wide awake, like- wow...hmmmmmm.....I’ve never had a significant other to turn down a free and clear “you’re not obligated to return the favor spit-shine, because it’s that time of month, and this is a once in a life-time gift”....what really began to boggle me as I was laying there, was how he has me up on this pedestal. One day last week, as we were playing hokey pokey, (girl on top) he was saying stuff like “oooh, you’re such a freak”.... but I was confused, because I didn’t see what was so freaky about a perfectly normal position. It wasn’t like I asked him to tie me up or handcuff and blindfold me on the balcony


So...he’s ultra conservative in the bedroom, unless he’s oral communicating with me...what happens when the sex gets blah 6 months from, and I want to do some “spicy” things.... I mean I go from Mr. H, who liked me to slap him and spit on him, to Klein, who thinks playing polo is super freaky.

Ok, I know this was TMI...but I was really confused by the whole, no slob the knob thing

All Good

Things are good (really good) with the young one. So much so, that yes, he is more than a boy toy. He’s romantic, thoughtful, his “oral communication skills” = amazing. We are in a good place...and I like him.

We even have corny nicknames for each other (I know...gag).

So...the next step, to be determined. But right now, we are in a really good place.

REPOST: P.S.A: Shedding Light on Scary Words

I originally posted this in March, today seems appropriate to re-post.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"It's time for another P.S.A. Don't skim, read it. Damn it." - Diva


There aren’t too many things that scare me. Spiders, nope. Monsters under my bed...nope. Having dreams about running in a naked marathon...not so much. But who knew that there would be three words, (sometimes four) that scare me. Or rather three acronyms.

Last week, and the week before last, I was obsessed. I tend to do it atleast twice a year. Stay up surfing the net, googling, and reading all of the latest info. Then talking to the nurse about new statistics...Diva, what are you talking about??? HIV, AID's, STD’s. Yep, those words scare the shit out of me and it boggles me, why they don’t scare other people. I mean, I would have to question someone who is more worried about getting preggers (or getting someone preggers) than catching one of these three letter words. Or maybe they do scare people so much, they can’t even bring themselves to utter the said word. So lets say it: HIV, AID's, STD's...

I remember the first time I went to get tested. My gosh, it was the longest 3 minutes and the longest week of my life.

I go into the center and am the only person there. This attractive counselor meets me and starts asking me all kinds of questions?

Him: Do you use needles

(In my head) - Do I look like I use needles?

Me: No

Him: Do you have multiple partners

(In my head) - How dare he?

Me: No, I’m celibate

Him: Have you engaged in sex with men, women or both?

(In my head) - WTF???

Me: Men

The questions went on & on. Then we did the oral swab (OraSure) and it was done. Just like that. But not quite. I had to wait almost one week for my results. That was the LONGEST week of my life. Someone calls me from the office, “can’t you just tell me over the phone?” - no, it’s policy, you have to come in, the voice replies.

I go in, and am forced to wait in the office. Then I’m called to a smaller room.

My heart stops beating. I can barely move. I feel like I could pass out at any moment.

The same counselor that did the swab is reading something to me. I don’t know, I can’t hear. My eyes are blurry...then he hands me the paper.

Him: Are you ok?

Me: Yes, I was just scared?

Him: Well you are ok, you’re negative. In my eight years of working here, I can count on one hand how many times I had to give bad news, and they were extreme cases. Just be sure to be safe, use protection and to get tested every 6 months to a year.

My heart started beating again. That was the year I stayed celibate. I was so utterly terrified, scared, and petrified of those scary acronyms...


Educate yourselves, use protection, get tested.

Start here:
http://www.avert.org/america.htm
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/stds-hiv-safer-sex-101.htm
http://www.aids.gov/
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/surveillance/basic.htm#hivest


(The fourth scary word is unrelated, another blog another time)

Quickie Weekend Update, No Babies Allowed

I've been slacking, I know...

This weekend was wet, not completely organized...both nights

Last week Mr. Henry and I had sex a few times and the guest post I wrote over at Single Sisters Speak Out is kinda related. By the way I still haven't had the big O. A good friend of mine had a good conversation about orgasms and sex, and basically, I have to keep at it...

More later, under the gun at work

The Weekend Update: I Suck

So this post was supposed to happen yesterday but I’m addicted to twitter (follow me), so I did nothing. I suck. The weekend was cool. No dancing on bars since I’m not engaging in my favorite pastime. Day 16 no vodka. I’m really serious about rocking my bikini’s in the DR (this one, this one & this one). Last week I started running. No vodka. No soda. No juice. Just water, club soda or green tea (although I slipped & had cranberry juice when I was clubbing...just a buffer between me and the vodka, that’s all)

Speaking of going out, Friday I was supposed to go out with Latino Papi Alex. I really didn’t feel like it, so I decided to make plans 1) knowing he hadn’t sent flair messages by Friday morning. 2) I know he’s flakey, and 3) he probably has a girlfriend. Yep. He only sends text messages. No calls.

His m.o. is trying to keep the lines of communication open by sending me “Mami, I miss you messages” (probably mass text messages) weekly, then once he gets a response, setting something up to make it seem like he’s so interested. Little does he know, that Sprint has this little online feature. I can now block numbers I don’t want to receive text messages from, yea for Sprint! (I’ll be on there this week entering phone numbers) So anyways, back to Friday.

I made plans with some chick friends. We went bar hoping, then I met another chick friend on U Street, for this waaayyy cool “world beat” party. Everyone from every nationality was there. It was SO amazing. It was like an underground we are the world lets all hug and be friends kind of place. Although it began to feel like you were walking into a hot box after awhile, it was so much fun. I danced so much my dress was soaking wet by the time I made it home. Good times. Oh, and there were some absolutely gorgeous guys there.

Saturday I had to take care of business. Latino Papi Alex sent me text messages. “you forgot mami”. Ummm, no idiot, you forgot. I was extremely tired, but I received an invite to hang on U street again by a couple of different people. I went to one spot. Scoped it out, then decided, to bounce. Ummm, was feeling blah.

Sunday Devin & I hung out for a bit on U Street (noticing a theme here). We had a good time.

This weeks agenda...TBD.


In Other News:

Not to rain on your parade, but I have to be a good Diva & keep you informed. Yesterday I came across this: New HIV Strain Found. Wrap it up people.

Pre-birthday (Part 2 of 2): To Sex Or Not To Sex?

As I've said before, I get excited about birthdays...last night was definitely the "pre-game". So my company arrived after a few conversations and text messages later... he walks in and we hug. He gives me one of those BIG, I missed you hugs.

Mystery Man: Hey sweetie, you look great

Me: Thank you, you caught me in my PJ's ( I actually don't really own PJ's)

Mystery Man: Those are your PJ's???? Wow. I like them. I can tell you were sun-kissed as well...

Me: (smiling) Thank you, I laid by the beach almost everyday.


We sit on the couch and chat for a minute, then I suggest watching one of my favorite movies.

Side-bar
We women know whether or not we are going to have sex as soon as we hang up the phone. Or the thought of having sex at least crosses our mind. So we take care to perform the "pre-company" rituals - you know, showering, shaving, waxing, whatever we need to do to get "ready"...so as I'm running around my house like a mad woman, trying to straighten things, shower, and do the "pregame" ritual, the thought of SEX did cross my mind. I didn't make my mind up, but I got excited at the thought of possibly "getting laid"; I also became conflicted and thought about the other "players" (mainly one) in the Line Up.


As he sets up the DVD player I make us drinks. A few minutes later I'm laying on him and we are about 30 minutes into the movie, he starts caressing me. At first he's rubbing my back, and I'm thinking to myself how long will it take for his hands to roam south.... a few minutes later, like clockwork, his hands go a little further down...right at the small of my back. I turn over and look at him, and laugh...

Me: You're funny

Him: What???

He kisses the inside of my arm, then his lips find mine and we passionately kiss for a few minutes. I turn back towards the movie...at this point I'm horny... and my GOOD Diva and BAD Diva are fighting...on one hand I haven't had sex since October and I really want some...on the other hand, we just started back talking and I didn't want to jump back into sex, and while I was away I was thinking I might give celibacy a shot...

A love scene comes on...I turn my face towards him. He stares at me, he kisses the inside of my arm again...we go back and forth for awhile, tugging at clothes and pants, grabbing, kissing...I stop him. At this point I was still kind of undecided, so I decided to test him...

Me: Do you have protection?

Him: No, I didn't come over here for that.

Me: Hmmmm

So I don't tell him right away that I have protection. In my mind, I'm still weighing the pros and cons and ...then he starts kissing me again, this time on the inside of my legs.... the bad Diva won...

Public Service Announcement (PSA)

This is a PSA. I wouldn't be a good Diva, if I didn't do this...WRAP IT UP, WRAP IT UP, WRAP IT UP. There's no excuse. I just found something new online as well. Has anyone ever tried this? If so, what were your thoughts? Be safe, go have fun for me. I'll be stuck in no-where-ville (actually it's a city...but nothing like DC) with the family for the week. Wish me luck, I'll need it......and a big bottle of vodka.