Thursday, August 28, 2008

The Old Man

So tonight I went to the Old Man’s House. I’m not exaggerating when I say old. “Benjamin” is almost 30 years my senior. He has a son that’s a year older and one that’s only three years my junior.

About Benjamin, we met through this local activities group. The group is more or less a social group for people who like to go out and dance. Every one imaginable belongs to this group. So it was natural that we became friends as a result of our involvement. What I didn’t know is that when Benjamin asked me for my number it wasn’t because he just wanted to keep in touch. After a lunch date, and two dates later, I realized how much Benjamin really liked me.

He’s a nice guy, but I can’t get past the age factor. I made the mistake of telling a few friends about our dates, and he continues to be the butt of all old jokes. One friend recently asked me if I picked him up at a nursing home. Aside from the getting pass the age factor, there is no way in hell I could tell my parents about him. I can imagine how my first conversation would go.

“Uh, mom, I met this man, really nice guy, likes to go out & have fun, he’s 55, only five years older than you”

Yeah, I can see how that will play out.

Not only that, but Benjamin tried to kiss me after one of our “dates”. I tried to turn my head, but his lips somehow landed on the corner of mine….yuck. I felt like my grandpa accidentally left the bathroom door opened and scarred me for life. And on more than one occasion, he mentioned the three letter word…yep S-E-X or as he put it “goodies”. Not in an old nasty man sort of way, but none the less I quickly changed the subject. (There’s no way in a million years he’s getting my goodies.) He’s come to the conclusion that I’m this shy, sweet virgin….ok, maybe I’m pushing it. But he did ask me if I was a virgin. I didn’t deny it.

Tonight, he showed me pictures from his recent trip to the Caribbean. His house reminded me of my grandmother’s house. Kind of old, outdated with moth balls and pink, lots of pink. You could clearly tell his ex-wife decorated the place like 60 years ago and he never changed it. He was a complete gentleman, I could tell though that before I left he wanted to kiss me…avoided that, like the plague.

So what do I do about my old man Benjamin? I mean, he’s nice, but it could never be. I mean 1) he’s old, 2) his kids are my age, 3) he has grandchildren, 4) see #1, 5) he’s older than my mom & step-dad, 6) he’s only 10 years younger than my grandmother, and 7) see # 1.


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