Monday, June 21, 2010

A Little More TMI...OK Too Much TMI

Yes...it’s true we are back together (almost 2 weeks now). Long story short, in his mind, we never broke up. He came over one day as if all was right with the world and the Celtics won (like how I slipped that in)... anyways, we talked, blah, blah, blah and made up. The next day we had make-up sex. (he was on time-out that night, and thus had to work really really hard for it).



Oh yeah, that same day, his sister wanted to talk to me and thank me for being there during the whole mom thing and to tell me what a great, fabulous person I am, and how I am the sun, moon and stars to Klein (ok...she didn’t say moon, but you know...I’m really terrific and such)

Speaking of talking to the family members, his mom wanted to talk to me yesterday, to express the same sentiment and to invite me to see her. Hmmm, what can I say, they heart me!

Ok, so here’s where the confusion comes in about talking to the one eyed monster. We are laying in bed, cuddling, and he knows I’ve been riding the crimson tide...but his one eyed monster won’t go to sleep, and kept poking me....no matter where I moved.

Me: Baby go to sleep


Klein: I can’t...I’m trying. You make me so horny.


Me: You want me to talk to him


Klein: Yes

(I kiss him, Klein moans...I get ready to do a little more...)

Klein: Baby no.

Me: Why not? (IN MY HEAD: ...what the eff? I’m tired and I want you to stop grinding on me cause I wanna go to sleep...so I need to make sure your Johnson stops poking me)


Klein: Because we can’t have sex.


Me: I know, but I want you to come, so we (really me) can go to sleep.

Klein: You’re my girlfriend, and I don’t want to...

(I cut him off)

Me: I’m not gonna let you come in my mouth


Klein: No, you’re special. I love you and you mean a lot to me. I don’t want you to blow him, unless it’s immediately followed by us making love.

Me: Why, I don’t get it. If I’m your girlfriend, and we are in a monogamous relationship, and I want to...

Klein: Because you’re special...if it’s some random chick I don’t care about, I’d let her and go to sleep, but I respect and love you...


Me: But I’d let you please me all you want, and we don’t have to have sex afterwards...


Klein: Come here, I love you. (he kissed me, and pulled me close)


Me: (laying there wide awake, like- wow...hmmmmmm.....I’ve never had a significant other to turn down a free and clear “you’re not obligated to return the favor spit-shine, because it’s that time of month, and this is a once in a life-time gift”....what really began to boggle me as I was laying there, was how he has me up on this pedestal. One day last week, as we were playing hokey pokey, (girl on top) he was saying stuff like “oooh, you’re such a freak”.... but I was confused, because I didn’t see what was so freaky about a perfectly normal position. It wasn’t like I asked him to tie me up or handcuff and blindfold me on the balcony


So...he’s ultra conservative in the bedroom, unless he’s oral communicating with me...what happens when the sex gets blah 6 months from, and I want to do some “spicy” things.... I mean I go from Mr. H, who liked me to slap him and spit on him, to Klein, who thinks playing polo is super freaky.

Ok, I know this was TMI...but I was really confused by the whole, no slob the knob thing

15 comments:

P.O.W said...

TMI! Don't ever call it a spit shine LOL that's nasty. I can't wait to see what your male readers say about this one

Anonymous said...

It could be his age. I've dated a younger guy who thought any position other than missionary was freaky and disrespectful to women he was serious about. The sex got boring after 2 weeks.
You two should definitely discuss sex openly asap because you don't want him to dislike you being a "freak" when you want to spice things up and have that ruin the relationship.

Tunde said...

i just for the life of me can't understand why he wouldn't want that. it's just mind boggling. if he was like you're some random chick i don't want you sucking my piece, i'd understand that. but let me tell you something. we're in a monogamous relationship, my mic is getting blessed. smh. conservative my ass.

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

@ POW - so what should I call it, slob the knob???

@ Anon - a friend of mine thinks it's his age too...I'm trying, we've talked about sex....but for him to be 23, he has a very "limited" view on it

@ Tunde, I brought that up, like you'd let some random chick you didn't know slob you down????... he said not random, just someone he doesn't have feelings for like that...

★Starrla Monae☆ said...

....you should've just tied his ass up and had your way with him. What man turns down some head?? Especially if said man is now in a committed relationship. That's when the "head" games are the most fun.

Jubilance said...

I dont know if its an age thing, or maybe I've just met younger dudes who were more sexually adventurous.

His reasoning for turning it down didnt make any sense to me....maybe he had another reason for not wanting you to speak into the mic but he made up that other excuse instead...

Michael said...

Interesting turn of events. The fact that he turned down some facemask (chicago slang for bjs) means that he may be feeling super serious about you and you need to ask yourself how serious you are about him. In his mind, he's thinking this may be the mother of my kids etc I don't wana disrespect her.

You should step back and see where things are and where they are going. Is this lust, fling, and a temporary fix or the potential for something real.

My True Essence said...

WTH!! A man that doesn't want his knob slobbed!! Didn't know any existed! I can understand not wanting to cum in your mouth but not have it sucked at all. I'm blown! LOL!!!

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

@ Starrla.... I was so tired...I just wanted him to go to sleep!!! Note to self, put rope (or extension cords, or handcuffs) under the bed

@ Jubi - Maybe cuz he's sorta religious, and he was taught that certain things are taboo

@ Michael - I think about that...like what is this for me. Especially when he starts asking me serious questions & wants answers...

But the q would be, if you can't/won't get freaky with your girl...then with who (some j.o.)???I'm boggled I tell ya

@My True Ess - It's like trying to figure out the 7 wonders of the world...turning down oral sex is def the 8th wonder...


Oh for CLARIFICATION purposes, he has condidtions. He doesn't mind me slobbing it, if we are going to have sex, or if he's going to (or already did) visit my muffin box

restaurant refugee said...

Wet blanket (no, not a sexual euphemism, per se) Alert.

Am I the only one troubled by the fact that he found your proffer disrespectful in someway yet is ok being disrespectful of other women? I am not suggesting that that moment was appropriate to discuss this paradox, but I am disquieted by the notion that he is capable of placing women in two boxes: those to be respected sexually, and those not deserving of his sexual respect.

I am inclined to think that age and experience are large components of this, but I don't discount the likelihood of the Madonna/Whore complex being a contributing factor too.

fromfaraway said...

This guy needs to return to the world of virginity where he belongs, until he hopefully somehow learns to be a man. The prognosis for that is not good, however.

And you need to learn to pick 'em better than this.

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

@ Restaurant ref - I get your point...under the circumstances, I don't thing he meant it that way. He's actually extremely respectful of women in general...

the q is oral sex disrespectful if someone is willing to give it to you???

@ Faraway - ( )

Ice Cold said...

I think it might have to do w/ his age. Be patient. He might come around...

Lola Gets said...

Ah, yes the Madonna/Whore syndrome. I find it to be quite annoying. I wish I had some advice for you, but all I can say is be careful.

L

Diva Style said...

I concur with Lola...I was thinking the same thing...someone's got a Madonna/Whore complex. I find this type of thing to be simultaneously agitating and ridiculous. If any of my boyfriends ever said anything like that to me, they would have gotten the side eye quickfast...for a number of reasons, lol.