Monday, November 23, 2009

Friday Night Date: Ummm How Old Are You?

How can I say this nicely...his cons definitely outweighs his pros.

My date on Friday, sigh. First let me say this. There are some disclaimers and information one should reveal about themselves within the first few conversations. I know some people will disagree with me, but, my date definitely was pulling the “don’t ask, don’t tell policy” on me on Friday.

First - I was surprised by his appearance. I mean that in the nicest way. I just simply forgot what he looked liked. I’m standing at Borders, waiting for him to appear, and I’m watching all the young attractive professionals walk by. One in particular was quite yummy. And low & behold, someone’s grandpa sneaks up behind me and gives me a hug.....oh wait, it was my date! Grant....wow, what can I say??? I’m sure he could have been a cutie in his heyday, but well right now, he was a cross between Ben Franklin & John McCain (ok, I kid, I kid....but still)...

Second - Our date started out quite early for a Friday, and it went into the wee hour of 1am. I didn’t uphold my own two-hour rule. But in my defense, it was hard, because he wanted to take me around the World D.C. to all of his favorite spots. We started off by stopping at a shop to get items that we would need for the second portion of the date (get your minds out the gutter), then we headed to at a private members only club and had drinks and dinner. He showed me around, and we talked politics, work, etc. His first surprise came at ohhh about half-way through the first bottle of wine. He has three kids. Now I’m not one to discriminate against people with children, in fact I did date the Old Man who had two sons my age. I never made an issue of it. But well Grant has three moochers teenagers who happen to live with him. Now something about all of this info coming out, after I’m pretty much stuck at dinner, is fishy. Ok, you have three kids that live with you??? Hmmmmm.

Me: So I take it you’ve been married

Grant: I’m separated

Ahhhh, the moment of truth, this old fart is still married, and is obviously living with wifey and the kids. (Separated my ass) At this point he didn’t offer up anymore information. I didn’t feel like probing him, because I already decided this will be our first & last date, and since he was obviously not going to volunteer the pertinent information needed, I had no choice but to draw my own conclusion.

Third - The thing, that bothered me the most, aside from the fact that he had three and a possible on his payroll, was the fact that he was a big fat faker. I mean, he was so fake, you look up fake, and his picture appeared in color. How so? He was flashy, he was fronting, he kept bragging. He wanted me to know that he was well off. Everything came back to his job & where he went to school at. He kept saying “this is the life”, “we are living the life of luxury”. Newsflash papa, smoking cheap cigars, and eating $15.00 dinner specials are not the life of luxury in my book. Yes, we are fortunate, but stop-it. He kept telling me how he liked the finer things in life, so I decided to pull his card.

Me: Oh, you must really travel a lot, where have you been?

Grant: Oh St. Lucia and Greece

Me: Wow, Greece? When was the last time you’ve been there

Grant: Oh about 10 years ago

Me: So that’s it?

Grant: Well, ummm I like to go skiing, and I go to Lake Tahoe. So where have you been?

Me: Ohh, I’ve been to France, Belgium, Germany, London, Jamaica, the D.R., I think Jamaica was my favorite though

The look was a Kodak moment...


Oh, wait-to top it all off. He lost major points when he told me he was a Republican...so in a nut-shell, that was my date with Ben Franklin...

16 comments:

Shawn Smith said...

"Grant: I’m separated"

Sometimes we need sound effects like on TV, I think at this moment you needed the record skip.

Jubilance said...

Wow, that guy sucks at life!

A few months ago I went out with a guy who decided to inform me that he was separated (after much prodding on my part, he wasn't gonna volunteer the info) and I kinda snapped. But I felt like it was so deceitful. Sounds like you handled it better than I did.

LiLu said...

Can you charge him for the hours of your life he stole??

Tunde said...

i'm surprised you didn't just walk away in the middle of the date.

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

@Shawn, I think I would have used the crckets chirping sound effect


@ Jubi - sad part about it, a few months ago, I went on a lunch date with this other guy, and he "failed" to tell me he was married. I asked him how long he & his wife had been divorced since he referred to her in the present-tense...he said they had been seperated since January. Ummmm, yeah, so you're still married???? Keep it moving

@Lilu - hmmm. I like that, the billable hour! If Only I could find a way to incorporate that into all the lame dates. I lost like 10 hours so, that would be $_______.

@Tunde - Now, you should know by now, I don't do that. You know DC is small. I'll run into him again! Atleast that will be just my luck. Rember I've ran into Cartoon Hands about 3 times, and we never went on a date!!!

Tunde said...

oh yeah i forgot you actually care about stuff like that. i would have politely excused myself and kept it moving. dude is married, who cares what he thinks. he better go home to his wife and kids.

AnonyMiss said...

You're really nice for staying...lol.

Must Love Movies said...

Argh that is pretty bad. This is why I don't date much. Cons outweighed his pros indeed!

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

Stop being facetious Tunde!

Elle Kay said...

Wait- what were the pros??? lol

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

@Elle Kaye ---oh, I guess there weren't any. Let me keep thinking about that....hmmm. None

Anonymous said...

Been reading this blog for awhile. You go on more dates, that never lead to anything but a sex buddy here and there.

Are you looking for something long term, or just blog material and a free meal?

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

Anon - I don't think you got the memo. I prefer not to go on dinner dates.

Obviously you don't pay attention to details either. Tons of sex buddies??? Nope. Tons of dates that lead to sex buddies??? Nope.

And if I needed blog material, I'd blog about all of the stupid shit guys say to me, or about more of the randomness, that leads to me not even giving someone the time of day. Or about the fact that I haven't had sex in 6 weeks, because I have other shit I've been focusing on, that gasp, isn't related to free meals and fucking.

Funny thing though, life doesn't always play out like a two-hour feel good movie. That's in the memo, in fine print, under the disclaimer.

Thanks for reading & the comment.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Marty J. Christopher said...

Oh DC Diva...it's been too long! I've gotten so behind on my blogs with all the chaos on my life. This was a nice return...you had me chuckling the whole time! If he was Ben Franklin, he probably would've taken out a little pad of paper and kept careful notes on the date and how much he hate and spent. Did he do that? Because if he did, you really were dating Ben Franklin. : O )

Marty J. Christopher said...

Oh DC Diva...it's been too long! I've gotten so behind on my blogs with all the chaos on my life. This was a nice return...you had me chuckling the whole time! If he was Ben Franklin, he probably would've taken out a little pad of paper and kept careful notes on the date and how much he hate and spent. Did he do that? Because if he did, you really were dating Ben Franklin. : O )

plentymorefishoutofwater said...

How close were you to walking off at any stage? Eek, this is a date to rival some of my disasters. Check them out if you get a minute, and great blogging: plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/