DC DATING ADVENTURES

No Longer A Functioning Alcoholic...But He's A Pothead

2011-02-15T14:41:00.002Z

I am no longer a functioning alcoholic...

Yep, that’s right. Today makes day 27 of no vodka, no wine, beer, or other adult beverages. The shakes have subsided, and I can actually sleep throughout the night. (#noinsomnia) The month of January I consumed so much alcohol I became immune. Literally. Which made me think, maybe I had a borderline drinking problem. Aside from consuming ungodly amounts of wine and vodka shots without getting a slight buzz, I had an epiphany; I do not want to look 59, when I am 40, the extra calories negate my workouts, and my tolerance was so high, that I was basically wasting money on the good stuff.

Don’t get me wrong, I miss vodka, and I miss my nightly glass of Shiraz, but now it’s kind of a mind over matter thing. Like can I really go without alcohol for 40 days, 40 nights? I am close. I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

In other news, this weekend I went out with one of the schoolboys Donny. It was ok, well it wasn’t super exciting or anything. I mean, he threw me off when he decided he wanted to light up (aka smoke mary jane) before our “date”. I mean, I don’t judge, but you mean to tell me it’s 1pm in the afternoon, we are in broad daylight where everyone can see, and you pull out a pipe and greenery because you “need a buzz”. So that was kinda strike #1 in that it turned me off.

Yes, I’ve dated guys in the past that have lit-up, hell Klein even shot-gunned me, but that was after the pleasantries, well into our “relationship” in the privacy of our home. Not in the middle of the day, steps away from cops, children and old people. And I know I can’t talk, because I used to partake in vodka, like it was iced water. But I wasn’t that bad. Like I didn’t have a pint hidden in the console of my car. I only took my flask out for special occasions at nighttime, unless I was on vacation...so I could not really understand his need to light up during brunch hours, not to mention, I think we were parked near one of those Big Brother cameras...

So, after the “date” he decides he wants to go to the library to study. I’m like well, I do need to see if they have this book for class. Before we get there, we stop and get food. So we get there, they don’t have the book. I decide to leave.

(Side Note: I studied all week, and just came off a stressful week of work and school, so I really didn’t want to study anyways. End Side Note)

Donny: well can’t you read some other books

Me: no, we have specific books

Donny: well you can study some other stuff

Me: hmmm, nope, I pretty have everything I need except that book, and all of my stuff is at home, so it’s pointless for me to stay

Donny: well what are you going to do?

Me: go home.

We hug. I leave. That’s It.

Rum, Revelations & Relationships

2011-01-18T16:12:00.003Z

I’m back from vacay...relaxed, kissed by the sun, and ready to get the year started off right! A little over a week ago, I celebrated my 31st birthday in the Dominican. Between drinking Mamajuana’s and laying on the beach, I began to contemplate what I want this year in terms of well - everything. On my b-day I received like 20 missed happy bday text messages, from guys from the past (Klein, Old Man) and guys from a possible future (Donny & Damien )

With school getting back underway, I’m not 100% sure I want to get into anything too hot and heavy. Yet, I’m kinda ready to take another stab at the R-word. Hours after my arrival back stateside, I spoke with friends, fam & Klein. We haven’t spoken or seen each other in well over two-months. I told him I was kinda suprised he remember it is was “mi cumpleanos”. We caught up, he made a couple of flirtatious remarks...then I decided to causually ask about the chick I ran into him with. He confirmed it’s his latest main squeeze. He went on to tell me she’s a lot like me. Like ALOT. It’s kinda weird, why would you date someone “just like me”? After I got off the phone, it had me thinking...do I miss him, or the idea of him?

Mr. Henry missed me. A LOT. He wanted to see my sun-kissed skin. He pulled out all the stops. Massages. Kisses... and well...more attention than normal. He had the key to my place for two-weeks. I asked him about it once...he sort of “forgot” to give it back. Then I made it cyrstal clear on where he needs to leave it. He knows where I hide it though. In determining my future, I have to decide whether I am going to allow him to contiune playing house with me. I guess I have to sit down and dig deep, and stop playing the fence.

I met some other randoms over the last two-weeks. All of them under 25. I should be flattered, that they think I’m 23 pushing 24. But I’m kinda over the young’uns after my experience with Klein. Speaking of which, something funny with one of them happened this weekend. I think PATT & her new bf are slyly trying to set me up with her bf’s friend. A huge group of us went out this weekend (including schoolboy Donny) and PATT & her bf tried to make sure me & the friend played together...a lot. After the party, Donny went home, while the rest of us partook in the early sober-up breakfast fare. Afterwards PATT, her bf, & “the friend” stayed at my place. I woke up to him at the foot of my bed...he was a perfect gentelman (and I made it clear that if he so much as took his jeans or shirt off I was going to cause bodily harm). The next day I went out to her bf’s place for dinner & they conviently invited “the friend”. Oh & by the way, “the friend” is cute...but he’s 24.

After dinner, I fought icy roads to get back to the city to pick up Mr. H at the Metro. He came back to my place. He asked me how my time out with PATT was...I did not tell him about the impromptu sleepover he would have gotten the wrong idea and flipped the fuck out. We have to have a serious talk...

2010 In Review

2011-01-03T03:25:00.000Z

2010 was quite memorable. From Brian to Klein, Klein to Jason, Mr. H to school, and some new playmates in the form of guys in class, I had quite a year. I know I’ve been MIA, so I will do the year in review in one post.

1st Part of 2010 in

Went to N.O. after receiving the invite from Brian…remember that? Anyways, after deleting his number, and attempting to erase him from all things Diva, he still texts me from time to time. Speaking of which, he texted last night, to talk shit about my team losing their bowl game…random & out the blue.

After his demise, Mr. H reappeared, but I locked my muffin, and was pretty good at keeping it away from him for 10-months!

I went on a few dates, you know, the guy that was trying to get his green card. Then, I met the young one we affectionately (or not) know as Klein. We actually tried the boyfriend/girlfriend thing against my better judgment. Blame it on the vodka zapping my brain cells…or at that time, his sweetheart ways, until he started acting crazy. We had some memorable moments. Remember the “peanut butter & jelly” debacle? That was interesting. But then we also had quite a few arguments. And after a few months of dating we dealt with family issues and I subsequently had to break it off, after getting frustrated with his mood swings. Oh and then there was that one incident…that was closure on his part.

2nd Part of 2010

After reclaiming my single & sexy card, I traded it in for a student ID and started grad school. I slowed down on the drinking and hanging, and instead focused on trying to do well during my 1st semester of the ball & chain, in the form of papers and books.

In-between class, I got super horny, and decided to take a walk on the wild side with Jason. The former friend, who I pretty much only went on movie dates with. You know, the guy who thinks Midori Sours are strong. After the romp, I was quite disappointed. I tried once more, to see if it was the alcohol or him. It was him. We still talk from time to time. A few days ago, he asked me out to dinner. Dinner is too personal, is what I tried to explain to POW, I really wish I could make myself like him, but the sexual chemistry is just not there.

You know who lost the sexual chemistry in 2010? Mr. H. I know, I know, after 11 years of on & off-ness, and sex and no sex. I finally feel like it’s not there anymore. So after hiding my muffin from him for most of the year, he wore me down, and quite frankly after having a bad romp, and no sex for months, he didn’t have to keep trying as hard as he was earlier. So we messed the sheets up about 5 or 6 times after our hiatus. And I felt nothing. Yes, I realize it took me five or six times of trying it out, but the last time we messed the sheets up, I was laying there, ~~looking at the ceiling~~, trying to move his head where I wanted, and it just wasn’t working. I even tried thinking about someone else. So since then we have hung, but I’m 100% sure, we are done. No more freaky sex, and quite frankly I’m cool with that, because ~~he has some kinky fetishes~~ his fetishes were starting to get weird.

While I was focusing on the books, I met two guys in my program. Right now they are just peers, but I have hung with them during break, and outside of the classroom. Let’s start with “Donny”, he asked me for my number towards the middle of the semester. We went out once alone, and once together with other classmates. We talk and communicate quite often, and have plans to hang soon again. He’s cool, pretty laid back, interesting. Then there is “Damien”, we recently hung out at a concert with some of his friends. Right now, I definitely think he would be a cool “classmate” to hang out with from time to time, but nothing beyond that. With Donny though, the chemistry is a bit different. In any case, I’m just hanging out, nothing serious, nothing weird, as we are 1) classmates, and 2) in a small program. So friends only is fine with me. Strictly friends.

So 2010 was full of dating & not dating, make ups and make-out sessions, a new start with school, and more trips & vacays. In addition to plenty of libations, and hanging with the chick friends and others 2010 was a pretty good year.

So now that I’m back from my blog vacay, I’m ready to stay focused and of course have fun in 2011. To get the year started off right, I’m on my way to the Caribbean for my 1st vacation of the year. Sun, sand and beaches in less than 96 hours!!!

Missed you guys! Happy New Year,

Love Diva

I Love Him, But I'm Not "IN" Love With Him...

2010-11-11T15:53:00.000Z

After 10 and a half months of avoiding his advances, flirtations, out-right attempts to get me in his clutches...I must say, I am pretty proud I avoided him for that long. In the past, we would have fell back into the same routine much more quickly. Technically speaking I didn’t give in, but I know I am eating the words I uttered, when I said Mr. Henry could never see the light of my muffin ever again in his lifetime.

With the extinction of Klein, and school, and me being in a place of where I don’t know if I am ready to commit to another relationship, it only seemed natural that Mr. H could gain re-entry into my box. (I know, I know)

I will say that right now the strong can’t breathe emotions & sentiment that I once felt for him are not there. However, it seems as if we will always have this unspoken silent bond. We are magnetically linked to each other - we don’t have to say anything to each other, yet we know...we know exactly what it is we can’t say outloud.

Muffin's Dry Out...

2010-11-04T01:29:00.004Z

What a crazy few weeks...

Let me just jump right in. A few weeks ago I had drunk sex with Jason. It was bad. Really bad, like do we do a "do-over" bad, or pretend it never happened bad? (I'm leaning towards pretend it never happened bad)

I'll admit, I was in a bad place so I can take 10% of the blame, but I thought, "drunk come and get it right now sex" was the best. Atleast that's been my experience in the past. I guess it was bad mainly because we were friends (atleast that's what I'd like to rationalize) and aside from the fact that his rocket launched too quick, (like waaaayyyyy too quick) the chemistry just wasn't there. We did it three times (same night)...but the landings always sucked.

Oh well, he was the re-bound guy, I hadn't had sex in like 2 months, we had been flirting back & forth & bam...

Things aren't THAT awkward though. We've talked since then and text back and forth. Friendship still intact...

I'll tell you what's awkward though....I ran into Klein....with another chick. It was so random and unexpected...it hit me like whoa. Like really, I didn't expect it. And get this, 48 hours later...

I run into his ass AGAIN! (not on purpose). He tried to give me a hug. He tried to make small-talk, and I was just so, like WTF, like I don't have anything to say. I mean really, what is there to say? I'll admit, I could have made an effort, but it would have been so forced.

DC is soooo small. Note to self: Do not date anyone that lives or works within a 3-block radius of me

In Other News:

I went on a really bad date a few weeks ago. Like, he had stalker potential. In fact, I think he tried to follow me home, because he let on that he knew what street I turned down after the date....and he lives in the opposite direction!!! He has called and text-stalked me...big huge red flags...

Brian text me out the blue this past weekend...he said he was just seeing how I was doing? Out the blue

School has me pretty busy, but I managed to findsome time to hang last week. Mr. H & I hung with PATT and a few of my friends on Friday for happy-hour, after 7 vodka drinks, and randomness at two bars, I was in a vodka induced sleep at home by 10pm. Saturday I dressed up & went out....

And now, I have to finish the semester on a good note...so I'll be M.I.A....again

Part2: Update On Everything Diva, Including Horny-ness, F*ckery & Everything In Between

2010-10-19T15:09:00.004+01:00

Disclaimer: Read Part 1 first.

Klein: But I got into a fight, with a crazy person last night. I could have got hurt or died

Me: But you’re standing here in front of me. You’re not hurt.

Klein: I could have been hurt.

Me: (deep sigh) But you’re not, you’re making assumptions and excuses.

We start walking and he awkwardly tries to put his arm around me. I try to have a civil convo with him, but I’m so fucking pissed at the fact that he’s missing the point. He then says he is pushing the whole holding me thing, as it’s still daytime, and it’s Ramadan, and that we shouldn’t talk about anything else that’s negative. He tells me he has a meeting and he will see me later.

Two days go by. I finally call him and ask him to help me with something. I remind him that I’m leaving at the butt crack of dawn, and we haven’t spent “real quality time” together. He meets me at the store, and we’re walking around, I’m getting last minute stuff for my trip. I try to talk to him, and again, he says it’s Ramadan, and he “can’t talk about anything that will change his spirit” He then proceeds to complain about how hungry he is, and asks me how much longer am I going to be, because it’s almost sun-down. I point out to him, that he chose to fast, so basically why “are you complaining, and that if you are so hungry leave”.

He basically says if he leaves, then I’ll just be mad at him again.

At this point I checked out. Mentally, it’s no reasoning with him.

I’m not done shopping, I tell him to go ahead without me, go eat (I need peace & quiet, and frankly didn’t feel like hearing his fucking excuses, whining, and bitching about not eating). He takes half of the things I brought to drop them off at my place.

Me: are you coming over after dinner

Klein: yea

Me: so like an hour or so

Klein: Yea, I gotta eat, or so. It’s Ramadan, so we can’t do anything...

Me: Seriously, I have to pack and stuff, I leave early and won’t be back till Sunday.

Klein: Ok, I’ll see you soon

(he gives me a hug & kiss)

I didn’t hear from him at all that night.

Hence the reason for the text.

Now, I know people think his mom’s death had a lot to do with his irrationality. But I beg to differ. Earlier in the relationship I tried to break up with him twice. And both times he pretended as if it never happened. I think he used his mom’s death as a scapegoat for his actions, as well as Ramadan. Yep. I said it. It may come off as being harsh, but the problems we had existed pre-mom. Had we not had these problems before and they came up as a result of his mom, I’d be more understanding. But they didn’t.

So that’s the demise of Klein. Maybe I could have done it differently, but my frustration with him could not be contained anymore. What’s done is done.

Update On Everything Diva, Including Horny-ness, F*ckery & Everything In Between (1 of 2)

2010-10-10T04:20:00.005+01:00

Ok, so I know I've been MIA, and now here I am, trying to play catch-up, fill-in & fill-up. So let me start with a few disclaimers. As usual, I'm drinking. So if something doesn't make since, blame the Yellowtail Shiraz (hey, good cheap wine, what can I say). Disclaimer #2, I haven't had sex in like 2 months...so everything reeks of sexual tension. I'm scared I'll throw my panties at some random guy on the street anyday now, although I must say, I've been in some hard situations the last month (all puns intended), and didn't give in....so maybe the horny-ness is a mental thing.

First things first. I remember I told you I was going to tell you about the break-up with Klein. Hopefully to clear up the fact that I'm not a bitch for breaking up with him shortly after his mom passed. Here goes...

So in the comments awhile ago, I indicated my rocking, eccentric Aunt passed away shortly after Klein's mom. In fact, we were together when I got the news that she had hours (if that) to live. Klein & I talked about her & we talked about his mom, life, blah, blah, blah. So we depart, and on my long drive home, she passes. I call him to let him know. He doesn't answer. A few hours later he calls me & tells me he's out & will call me later.

Later ends up being the next day or so. I had to call him because his phone was off...so I let him know I'm going home for her funeral over the weekend (it's like Monday evening at this point). He's still out of town at this point & says he doesn't know when he'll be back, he has family stuff to take care of. Well he gets back in town Wednesday (but he doesn't tell me, I found out via his sister early Thursday morning, after she sent me a text asking me if I spoke to him). We talked Thursday evening.

I left Friday morning for the funeral.

I leave on Friday & not once does he:
1) call me to see if I made it home ok
2) check on me to see how my fam is doing with everything
3) check on me to see how I am doing
4) see when I'll be back, call to say he misses me, or and fuckery of that nature.

I get back to D.C. on Sunday evening & call to let him know I'm back. No answer. I go about my day, head to the store, with the intentions of going home to unpack & re-pack for my trip to paradise in the form of Jamaica that takes place 3 days later. Low & behold I'm in the check-out line and guess who comes in??? Klein.

He comes up to me (I didn't notice him or rather see him walk in) and asks me to wait for him while he checks out.

I wait.

He comes out & acts like everything is right with the world. The first thing he says to me is:

"I got into a fight last night at work"

Me: *blank stare*

(in my head: WHAT THE FUCK, I DON'T CARE)

Me: (outloud): Ummm excuse me. Did you get my text from earlier?

Him: Yeah, about you making it back?

Me: Um Yeah.

Him: Yeah, I was gonna call you. But guess what happened to me last night?

Me: I don't care. Before you tell me anything, you haven't even asked me how my flight was, how's my family, how was my trip. In fact, you didn't call me once this whole weekend!!!

Ok, sorry guys, I'm getting mad just thinking about the pure fuckery that came out his mouth afterwards. To be continued...

But In Other News:

I resisted the temptation that is Mr. H for the last month, and the fact that he's been throwing it at me like a major league pitcher...

Remember Jason??? If you don't you gotta catch up on him, he's sorta back in the picture as a "friend only".

School has me busy as well as work, so I've been a REALLY GOOD DIVA. As you can see, I'm in the house...but the night is still young.

Was That Supposed To Be Closure????

2010-09-06T05:08:00.004+01:00

That wasn't fair Klein...

Fuck closure. That was the idea, behind the come get your shit movement. Closure. This weekend was crazy. Ok, let me start in order. Friday night vodka got the best of me, and lets just say I ran into some of Klein's co-workers. The next day they told him I was inebriated (well in their words fucked up). He told them I wasn't his gf anymore and that I broke up with him. He calls me to get my side of the story, I blow him off because I was on my way back to Mr. H's.

I spent all day Saturday at Mr. H's place.

No sex with Mr. H. In fact, I couldn't even think about bringing myself to letting him nibble my muffin. I thought about it, but I wasn't turned on by the thought of him. In fact, I was probably dryer than the Sahara desert when thinking about him getting close to my lady parts....my mind was somewhere else. I left his place around 3:15am, Klein calls me at 3:45am. I knew he was going to call. I push silent and go to sleep.

Tonight, man.......where do I start. I study, eat, nap, Klein comes over for the "pick your stuff up, I don't want it in my house anymore closure event". We talk. We talk about why it wasn't working, we talk about maybe later in life, He apologizes and says he's sorry he wasn't the man I wanted him to be. We talk about us....He tells me I was the best gf he ever had...he was supposed to meeting his boys in 15 minutes.

We hug for a really long time.

We say stuff that's deep.

I tell him he should go, it's late and he's gotta meet his friends.

He says he has time.

We kiss.

He tugs at my skirt, and I tell him no. "Remember you're practicing Ramadan"

He says he doesn't care and wants to do it.

He tries again. I try to stop him.

He gets on his knees, and kisses me.

I try to stop him again.

He says he wants to.

On the floor in my living room, he gives me the best oral conversation ever, and gets up and leaves.

Damn fucker.

I was supposed to meet my friends out tonight, I was on my way to Mr. H's...gotta get it together...I can't believe he just pulled that....

Disclaimers, Confessions & Sex Rehab

2010-09-01T18:09:00.000+01:00

Last Night
I gave him the disclaimer twice...“no sex”...he said he just wanted to hold me (yeah right...) so, against my better judgment I went over there....because...well because, he wore me down. He’s been asking daily for I don’t know how long and technically it was not cheating, seeing as how I broke it off with Klein before I went to the Islands....so I was super single.

Once we got to his house, I asked him for shorts because I forgot pj’s (ummm who wears pj’s anymore?). He’s awkwardly trying to figure out which way to lay. We leave the t.v. on, he pulls me close & I have restless sleep, pretty much the whole night. Somewhere between me dreaming of beaches & rum punch and 6:30am, he starts kissing me, and tries to eat my “muffin”...I clutch my shorts and SHUT IT DOWN...

In the Morning:

Me: I thought you said you weren’t going to try anything?

Mr. H: You seemed restless, I just wanted to help you sleep better

In Other News:
Yes, Klein & I are not together. I got so fucking frustrated with him, I gave him the deuces via text (don’t sue me, I tried to call him and he didn’t answer so I had no choice....), and boarded a plane to paradise for 4 days, thereby cutting off all phone communication with him. Guess he was salty about it, because he tried to take shots at me on Facebook.....oh well, once a child, always a child.

The longer story of why I broke up with him will follow soon

In Other Other News
Guess you can tell by my sporadic postings, that the life of a grad student is about to ensue...not sure how demanding it will be, but I’m sure dating and debauchery will be on the back-burner...I’ll try to stick around & blog about the crazy-ness....this isn’t my last post...just a disclaimer.

Good Girls Drink Vodka

2010-08-13T02:42:00.000+01:00

The opportunity to cheat has been placed on a silver platter with a vodka on the rocks and medium filet mignon tonight...proud to say I'm on a diet and resisted temptation. It was tempting yes, but I'm trying to be a good girl... and just so you know, I do like steak, and it was hard (no puns intended) to resist.

In Other News

I'll be starting school in a few weeks, to obtain an advanced degree in something other than dating. Klein and I are doing pretty ok. We have our moments. Some days it's great and other days I'm like fuck it, I quit. For the most part though, I do care about him and I know he cares about me, so we work on it.

I still have that one little, itty bitty muy tiny problemo. I still haven't told Mr. H about Klein and vise versa and I can't bring myself to do it. Inquiring minds want to know why. Is it because I want to keep my options or am I simply to pansy to woman up and face the wrath from both of them. I kinda prefer not to tell them, but chick friends pose the question, "why not"? And that, I can't truly answer.

No Words

2010-07-23T18:16:00.001+01:00

Sigh. The last few days have been a bit emotionally draining. Klein’s mother passed away this week. I knew it was coming, but not like this. I’m trying to be there for him as much as possible. That’s all I can really say right now.

Good Girl In Hawaii

2010-07-15T22:08:00.003+01:00

So I just made it back from vacation this week, and I’m proud to announce I was a good girl. In fact too good.

Klein & I are still together... I actually kinda missed him while I was gone

POW came to D.C, 4th of July weekend and all we did was drink & party, and party & drink, to commemorate her dirty thirty, with an added mini bonus trip to NY. One night we hung with Mr. Henry & his friend at a lounge, after trying some other spots. POW is under the delusion that me & H are made for each other. Although we talk everyday and still do favors for each other (not that kind) he never stepped his game up.

Side Note: I have yet to tell Klein or Mr. Henry about each other. Is that wrong??? (I’m saving the male ego, they can both be quite jealous....and in my defense, Mr. Henry and I haven’t played “horizontal polo” since December, and I never intend to let him get near my muffin box....ever). End Side Note

Maybe I’m playing with fire...what can I say, I used to enjoy lighting matches as a child...

In other news I’m going to Jamaica next month...I’m trying to slowly break it to Klein, that I will be in my favorite place on earth, celebrating yet another thirty club card member, but I gotta let him recover from me spending 7-days in Honolulu first...

Speaking of Jamaica, I got a random call today from someone there...hmmmmm.

When's The Last Time You've Been Tested???

2010-06-30T15:52:00.000+01:00

- April 28th, 2010 - I'm negative for everything under the sun, including BS and I have proof -Diva

I remember in high school we took this health seminar, that was kind of a "scare you straight" moment. They showed graphic detailed pictures of every disease imaginable. I crossed my legs & vowed to keep my muffin box locked.
Well college happened, and let's just say, I shared my muffin a few times....but those pictures always lingered in my thoughts....which had me paranoid (even when I used prophylactics) so paranoid, that I decided to go cold turkey for long periods of time.

Last week the CDC released another HIV Study. It boggles me, how people are still getting the itchies, with all of the PSA's, posters, free condoms, etc. going on... Ummm here are a few DC specific stats:

D.C.’s AIDS rate is higher than that of any U.S. state. DC AIDS rate is approximately 10 times that of the U.S. in general.
D.C.’s AIDS rate is higher than these major cities: Baltimore, Philadelphia, New York City, Detroit, and Chicago.
From 2004 to 2008, 3,312 new AIDS cases were diagnosed in D.C. African-Americans accounted for 86 percent of those cases.
More people in D.C. are testing positive for HIV: From 2004 to 2008, the “number of persons testing positive” for HIV in D.C. increased by 353 percent, from 246 in 2004 to 1,115 in 2008. (via Wash City Paper)

Moral of the stats - WRAP it up or keep your snakes caged & muffin boxes closed

Mushy

2010-06-23T13:12:00.001+01:00

Sometimes when one is venting about the relationship (any type of relationship)....you think about all of things you dislike about that person...in actuality though, there are things that you like, which kinda makes you stick around. I decided to compile a list of the things Klein does or did, that kinda stick out. Warning...sappiness to follow...

On a couple of occasions after a long day of working, he massaged my feet (he even kissed them once...)

He brought me a pair of earrings just because he thought they looked like something I would wear.

He picked up dinner after I had yet another long day of dealing with client stuff...without me asking

He constantly tells me why he loves me

He remembers little things, like what I wore on our first date, what I had on when I visited his mom in the hospital, what I had on when we met. (hell I don’t even remember that stuff)

He loves playing in my hair (Pause...)

He carries my heavy stuff without me asking

He opens my car door (Every time, sometimes I forget to wait for him, and do it myself, but he’ll still come to my side of the door)

If I cook, he offers to wash the dishes (well, I only cooked like twice, so maybe this one doesn’t count that much)

He kisses me in the morning, (I’m thinking my breath smells like cotton candy or something, cause he never scrunches up his face)

He kisses the palms of my hand & my forehead (I don’t know why I like this, I just do)

He constantly tells me what a great woman I am

He loves smelling me (It’s actually kind of weird, but if he likes it, who am I to deny him the pleasure of smelling me???)

The Kitchen

2010-06-22T15:33:00.003+01:00

So last night Klein spent the night...I went in. Maybe it was the vodka with white peach (tasty) or the fact that I have given it a lot of thought.

Me: Baby, I think you have hang-ups about sex and sexuality...

Klein: What are you talking about, where is this coming from???

Me: Well the other night when I wanted to suck your d*ck (yes I said that) you had an issue with it. Why?

Klein: I told you, it’s ok if we are going to have sex, but just to do it, just because...you’re better than that.

Me: But baby, if it’s something I want to do for you, and we are in a committed relationship, what’s wrong with that. Like, if I don’t do it, are you gonna go find someone else...

Klein: No. I wouldn’t do that.

Me: If we are in a relationship, there’s nothing wrong with me being a freak for you...like anything goes

Klein: Almost anything

Me: I’m your freak, so it’s ok

Klein: Why do you have those shorts on... (black little cheeky ones)

(I laughed and walk to the kitchen)

Me: Why are you following me

Klein: You know what you’re doing to me...

And let’s just say, in the kitchen, with the refrigerator door wide open, he got the best peanut butter and jelly sandwich (uhhh a BJ for the slow folks) ever......

Afterwards, we laid in bed and talked about his sex hang-ups and where they came from...after he told me, it made a little more sense, but I still think it’s an age and experience thing.

A Little More TMI...OK Too Much TMI

2010-06-21T16:05:00.004+01:00

Yes...it’s true we are back together (almost 2 weeks now). Long story short, in his mind, we never broke up. He came over one day as if all was right with the world and the Celtics won (like how I slipped that in)... anyways, we talked, blah, blah, blah and made up. The next day we had make-up sex. (he was on time-out that night, and thus had to work really really hard for it).

Oh yeah, that same day, his sister wanted to talk to me and thank me for being there during the whole mom thing and to tell me what a great, fabulous person I am, and how I am the sun, moon and stars to Klein (ok...she didn’t say moon, but you know...I’m really terrific and such)

Speaking of talking to the family members, his mom wanted to talk to me yesterday, to express the same sentiment and to invite me to see her. Hmmm, what can I say, they heart me!

Ok, so here’s where the confusion comes in about talking to the one eyed monster. We are laying in bed, cuddling, and he knows I’ve been riding the crimson tide...but his one eyed monster won’t go to sleep, and kept poking me....no matter where I moved.

Me: Baby go to sleep

Klein: I can’t...I’m trying. You make me so horny.

Me: You want me to talk to him

Klein: Yes

(I kiss him, Klein moans...I get ready to do a little more...)

Klein: Baby no.

Me: Why not? (IN MY HEAD: ...what the eff? I’m tired and I want you to stop grinding on me cause I wanna go to sleep...so I need to make sure your Johnson stops poking me)

Klein: Because we can’t have sex.

Me: I know, but I want you to come, so we (really me) can go to sleep.

Klein: You’re my girlfriend, and I don’t want to...

(I cut him off)

Me: I’m not gonna let you come in my mouth

Klein: No, you’re special. I love you and you mean a lot to me. I don’t want you to blow him, unless it’s immediately followed by us making love.

Me: Why, I don’t get it. If I’m your girlfriend, and we are in a monogamous relationship, and I want to...

Klein: Because you’re special...if it’s some random chick I don’t care about, I’d let her and go to sleep, but I respect and love you...

Me: But I’d let you please me all you want, and we don’t have to have sex afterwards...

Klein: Come here, I love you. (he kissed me, and pulled me close)

Me: (laying there wide awake, like- wow...hmmmmmm.....I’ve never had a significant other to turn down a free and clear “you’re not obligated to return the favor spit-shine, because it’s that time of month, and this is a once in a life-time gift”....what really began to boggle me as I was laying there, was how he has me up on this pedestal. One day last week, as we were playing hokey pokey, (girl on top) he was saying stuff like “oooh, you’re such a freak”.... but I was confused, because I didn’t see what was so freaky about a perfectly normal position. It wasn’t like I asked him to tie me up ~~or handcuff and blindfold me on the balcony~~

So...he’s ultra conservative in the bedroom, unless he’s oral communicating with me...what happens when the sex gets blah 6 months from, and I want to do some “spicy” things.... I mean I go from Mr. H, who liked me to slap him and spit on him, to Klein, who thinks playing polo is super freaky.

Ok, I know this was TMI...but I was really confused by the whole, no slob the knob thing

Confessions & TMI

2010-06-21T03:56:00.002+01:00

This is definitely TMI.... but this has never happened to me. So I am quite confused???

Klien didn't want me to slob his knob, because he said I'm his GF and he loves me too much for that.

PAUSE. I'm going to let that sink in, then explain.

I Don’t Do Pansy...The Break-Up (Pt. 2)

2010-06-09T18:04:00.003+01:00

So Saturday after his random morning text, and me ignoring him. I get the following Sunday evening:

Klein: Where are u. i know u think i don’t care but i do this ordeal with my moms is a bit much i haven’t been feeling well either plse don’t think im tryn 2 hurt u

Me: ok

3 hours later

Me: I’ve had time to think about everything and I think you are a great person and have good intentions, but maybe the timing is bad for you in regards to being in a relationship right now. I’ll be here if you need a shoulder to lean on. Deuces Pansy boy (<---ok I didn’t say deuces...but I was trying to be nice)

My thoughts: I do think he was a nice guy, but he has/had waaaayyy too many issues. I’m not a teacher, and don’t have the patience to school him. Did I like him? Yes. Did I love him? Not like that. Was I in love with him? Nope nadda. Possibility of friendship in the future??? Who knows...

I Don’t Do Pansy...The Break-Up (Pt. 1)

2010-06-07T17:58:00.000+01:00

A lot can happen in 6 days...the timeline of the break-up commences.

Last Tuesday: Klein and I spent face-time together. After a rough weekend, the L-bomb, the request for my hand in girlfriend-dom, and his mom’s successful road to recovery, we seemed to be getting back to “normal”, whatever normal is. During our face-time, Klein reiterated the fact that he “loved” me. (His words) and that he’s so happy to have me in his life, and what a fabulous, awesome, wonderful person he thinks I am. We laid around for awhile, talked, caught-up, made out, sexed, cuddled...then he went home.

Last Wednesday: I sent him an e-mail & text in the morning (note before 11am) asking him what his schedule was like over the weekend, I wanted to see if he wanted to de-stress with some libations, miniature golf, and just hang. That evening (note 9 hours later), I sent him a text asking him if he was still taking his exams.

(mid-night, I made one last txt attempt) Me: Hey baby, where r u, I’ve been trying to call/txt u

(an hour later) Klein: Hey baby, I’m ok, just a lot of running around. Exam postponed for me

Side Note: I was in never-never land by this point, so I didn’t respond

Last Thursday: Not totally bothered by his lack of response time, due to us talking about his busy schedule Tuesday, I decided to check on him mid-afternoon to a) catch-up b) to see if he wanted to grab some dinner and c) to see if he had to work over the weekend because I was planning to go to NY. He answered & said he was in the vitamin shop and he would call right back

4-Hours later he calls me, and by this time, I’m at the bar doing flights, glancing at the game and waiting on my chick friend to arrive and partake in liquid libations with me. I didn’t answer because the music was rock band loud, so I sent him a text.

Me: Oh wow you must finally be done at the vitamin store... (sarcasm in txt messages suck) I’m near U St. stopped to grab some food, it’s loud in here so txt me

Klein: U and those quips lol just checkin in u told me you had to catch me up

Me: Yes...everything I had to tell you is old news now and my favor I was trying to ask you is obsolete...you have to work tonight?

Klein: No just studying for my make-up

Me: Can u meet me half-way & walk me home in a little while please?

(half an hr later)

Me: So is that a no?

My chick friend & I stay awhile longer, head to another spot, then I decide to head home. For whatever reason, I decide to forego the cab, and walk (like 15 mins on a bad day) to my place. On my way, I call Klein and he answers. I ask him why didn’t he respond, all he had to do was say no. He says he’s studying and I make a remark, then he says, something about being stressed. He rushes me off, and at this point, I’m a little pissed.

Friday Afternoon:

Txt from Klein: Hey baby, you still mad at me?

Me: Hey baby I wasn’t mad you

Klein: Yes u were i had a rough night. I threw up real bad all of this worry and frequent upsets isn’t good for my stomach

Me: I’m sorry baby. You gotta lighten up. YOU are going to send yourself to an early grave. I wasn’t mad. You just have to learn how to communicate better. ESPECIALLY with the person you’re in a relationship with. All I needed was 5 mins out of your 24hr day. That was the point I was trying to make.

No response

Later Friday Night:

Me: Where are you?

No response.

(3 hours later) Me: Baby seriously????? Are you at work?

No response

So at this point, we hadn’t seen each other since Tuesday, and hadn’t had a conversation for more that a minute. As stated before, he’s a hop, skip and a jump away...not state or county lines, just a few blocks. In my mind, I’m like whatever. I mentally check out of all things Klein, and head to NYC Saturday morning to hang with PATT to party party party.

Before I make the drive: I get this text from him in the am: Hey I feel so bad my head is killing me

Errrrrk, what does that have to do with me trying to get in touch??? I decided not to respond...uhhh as noted mental break was in full effect.

(side note: at some-pount on Friday his phone, got the good ole, you didn't pay your bill, all you can do is text, boot....hence all the text messages rather than calls from Friday on... end side notes)

To be continued...

This May Come As A Surprise...

2010-06-01T16:28:00.000+01:00

Last week was a rough week for Klein. He hadn’t been dealing with his mother’s illness very well. We talked a few times during the week, and one night he came back to DC to handle some stuff. He spent the night and we talked and played hokey pokey. He got up and left and called me later to tell me about her condition. Me being the exceptionally great person that I am (ok...well at least I think I am), I offered to drive 4 hours to a) support him and b) meet his mom, since she’s been asking him when she was going to meet me.

He was shocked, floored & amazed. He told me how much that meant to him and laid on the compliments and praises the rest of the convo.

I really didn’t know what to expect. You know, I mean, if it were the other way around, I’d want a friend to offer moral support. In fact I would do that for any of my close friends...I guess I didn’t quite understand the magnanimity of my actions, or rather what they meant to Klein.

He asked me to be his girlfriend.

Oh and he dropped the L-bomb.

I'm In...The Baby Pool

2010-05-25T08:54:00.001+01:00

Prelude to ~~a kiss~~ communication...

So, I was kinda (key word kinda, ) wrong... bare with me as I explain. The biggest issue I had with Klein the last two weeks was communication, or lack there of. In the beginning everything was rainbows, cupcakes and sunshine, then all of a sudden, one day it was like Thundercats. I mean he went from calling me and following through, to me not even getting a return flair message.

First problem (technically speaking strike 2)...so remember the whole debacle with his no show, and in the comments last week, I told you that his "excuse" was "falling asleep"? Well, we had a long convo, about communication. i.e. Just tell me, you can't come, aren't going to come, or have no intentions of coming (all puns a coincidence). He said he understood. We laid in bed & talked, yes that's all, fell asleep...then had our morning snuggle and both went about our weekend.

Then nothing for a few days. No calls, flair signals, nothing. Then it went downhill. We literally haven't seen each other for almost two weeks...which is weird, because we live a hop, skip, and a jump from each other.

Side Note: It's 3:16AM, so I'm sure I'll wake up and read this and have a WTF was I trying to say moment...I'm baring it all :End Side Note.

So last week, I tried to break it off via text...sue me, what else could I do, I tried calling him, and that wasn't working, seeing as how we were having "communication" problems. Upon receiving "break-up" text, he immediately and I do mean immediately called me back. We had a long talk, and I thought everything was going to be ok. (Mind you at that point, it was a week since we seen each other).

Three days later...still nothing and by nothing. I mean, no seeing each other, no convos, no make up sex, text, s.o.s messages. I mean at this point, Mr. H was calling me and "checking" on me daily, which was driving me crazy, because he hasn't had the pleasure of sniffing my love muffin, and yet I couldn't even get a 140 character text from Klein.

So finally I was just like eff it. Went out with the chick friends...had fun, then 2:30am...the tequila hits me. (Did I mention I switched my signature drink for awhile??? Top shelf margarita's)

I made the the Drunk break-up call... (he didn't know I was drunk which I must say, I hid pretty well) I started the call with - "I can't do this anymore"....then I don't remember what I said after that, all I know is, we didn't quite "end".

Frustration resumed, then he finally calls me this evening. His mom is in intensive care.

I'm there for him as much as he needs. He called me again, and I woke up to talk to him. I reassured him, that I will be there for him, he just has to let me, and I can't be there if I don't know what's going on. So now it's 3:40am and I am getting in the the pool.

One Foot In, One Foot Out

2010-05-20T14:30:00.002+01:00

Relationships are like peanut butter....sticky, chunky, fun to play with, unpredictable... - Diva

Klein & I are not in a relationship, but we’ve had our share of issues the last week or so. Initially, I was trying to distance myself from getting too involved. You know, have fun, make it a light spring/summer fling. Still hang out & do my thing...hmmm, my plan for ultimate one sided domination didn’t quite work out.

It’s a case of girl meets boy, boy professes his love for girl, and girl is torn...that’s where it’s at right now.

I have one foot in, and one foot out, debating on which way to go.

Maybe I’m speaking in circles...but hell, I really don’t know what box to put him in yet

No Show

2010-05-10T18:36:00.005+01:00

Things were (keyword: were) pretty A-ok with Klein, until last night. We had our first issue last week but we managed to work through it...(i.e. late-ness on his part). Well last night...he fucked a good thing up, and since summer is knocking on my door, all the more reason to write him off. We went from:

Sex at least three-times a week
Spending the night...about three times a week
Hanging out...about three times a week
Conversations about him wanting me to meet his family
Him admitting to Facebook stalking me

To me deleting his number. Last night, he was supposed to come over. He was a no-show. No call, no text, no e-mail, no show... he fucked up royally.

I'm back.

All Good

2010-04-28T15:55:00.001+01:00

Things are good (really good) with the young one. So much so, that yes, he is more than a boy toy. He’s romantic, thoughtful, his “oral communication skills” = amazing. We are in a good place...and I like him.

We even have corny nicknames for each other (I know...gag).

So...the next step, to be determined. But right now, we are in a really good place.

Atlanta, Extremist

2010-04-13T02:28:00.002+01:00

Having Fun...

Klein and I have seen each other almost everyday in some shape or form. We've done everything from casual hanging with friends, to impromptu home visits, and talk/make-out time. No test-driving of the goods yet...He's a great guy as I've said before. The only thing that bothers me is his extremist religious views...I'm not exaggerating, he's not a bible thumper, trying to convert me type guy, however he thinks his religion is "the truth". Oh and he is trying to get me to stop eating bacon...and all things pork. I happen to like salami or a really good bacon blue-cheese burger...

In Other News:

I'm going to Atlanta this weekend for a girls weekend. Hmmm, never been, don't really know what to expect.

Date's #3 - #5, The Young One’s Have Energy

2010-04-05T18:16:00.000+01:00

Klein is putting in work (pause). Not that kind, so get your mind out the gutter! We had dates 3 through 5 last week/this weekend. Thursday night, we had plans to go to a comedy show, but we failed to make it. Instead we had hookah & drinks, and just hung out...

Saturday he surprised me with a beautiful bouquet of flowers. We partook in watching my fav team in the Final Four, while hanging out with some college friends of mine. It was kinda cute, cause I think he was a little nervous about “impressing me”.

Yesterday we did the park, some live music, and an impromptu romantic dance in the middle of nowhere.

He showers me with kisses and is a complete romantic...

We don’t have plans for this week, but the young one is definitely earning cool points

The Details

2010-04-02T14:18:00.003+01:00

Curiosity Killed The Cat

The road trip with Mr. H was interesting. Being stuck in a car with Mr. Henry for ten hours at a time gives new meaning to “locked-up”. For the most part, the ride was pleasant. He tried to get me to “pull-over” a couple of times. Once we got to his destination (I dropped him off and met up with friends & family), he got out and was getting his things together...that’s when I seen it. The super-sized black & gold box of condoms.

Hmmmm. So, either he thought he was going to get some from me, or he planned on meeting up with “old” acquaintances. At least he was being safe.

Now, I won’t lie. I was curious about this, seeing as how he’s been dropping hints since December.

(Side Note: He knows I’m not letting him get near my love muffin for the rest of his life. :End Side Note)

So on our way back, I wanted to look in the bag, to see if his magic box had been tampered with. I know I shouldn’t care. But I do....sorta. I sorta care because he 1). said he hadn’t had sex in “awhile” (awhile in Mr. H years, not normal years) and 2). after the long drive back to DC, he tried once again to get me to spend the night, because he said it looked like I was tired, and he was so “concerned” about me.

Ummm. I just drove 10 hours, the extra 20 minutes to my place wasn’t going to kill me.

In Other News:

So, as I mentioned in the last post, the bambino and I went out. While I was gone, he sent me cute little text messages, telling me he missed me, and to have a safe trip. He’s such a sweet guy. We went on date #3 last night..... to be continued

3-Minute Quickie

2010-03-30T16:58:00.000+01:00

All I have is like 3 minutes, cause I'm under the gun. So here goes...

1. Had date numero dos with the young one (Klein) last week. Everything went really really really well. (Ok, I'm exaggerating with the really's, but we did have a cool date). Our second date consisted of Pilates, hanging out, video games, sandwiches, and an unexpected kiss goodnight. Like really out of nowhere, he went in for the kill.

2. Mr. Henry & I embarked on our road trip on Friday. I was a little worried about spending 20 hours (round-trip) on the road with him...lets just say he tried to work his magic in a roundabout way. It did not work...his game is lame.

3. Going on date #3 with the young one this week.

I'll be back later with more details

I'd Do Him, Road Trip, Text Messages, Dirty Old Men

2010-03-24T05:14:00.006Z

I don't know where to begin...in no particular order

5. Text Messages with the BFF:

Me: I was so horny last night. I couldn't fall asleep. I don't see how you went a whole year. I'm barely through month 3

POW: LOL. It was Hard the first couple of months. That's why I had B.O.B

Later, the same day...

Me: Ewwww. The police officer is a horn dog. He was trying to j.o. to my voice

POW: Ewww. Most cops are

4. Police-Officer Back story: So the officer I met Sunday night, called me Sunday & yesterday. We talked yesterday for a little bit. He kept telling me how sexy he thought my voice was and that it was causing him to be bad...next thing I know he's grunting like a dog in heat and is making noises, and is telling me he's being bad. I told him bye, and hung up mid-grunt.

He called me tonight....I pushed ignore call...

3. Mr. H and I are embarking on a 9-hr road trip on Friday. To be continued...

2. I talked to Kiddie-care daycare tonight, we have a tentative date set-up again

1. I'm not sure if it's the fact that I'm curious about the little young thing's stamina and energy (Jubi has me convinced by her previous comment) but I think, I pretty much made up my mind that he's doable, and I'd do him. It's up to him to mess it up.

Most women know whether or not we'd do a guy anyways. The guys usually mess it up, either through talking or stupid actions that has us clutching our panties tightly. Oh and they get moved to the category, of "never-mind", what was I thinking... "I wouldn't do him with a 10-foot pole".

Barely Legal, The New Black???

2010-03-23T15:12:00.002Z

When he asked for my number, I had no idea, he just got off the tit. I guess I assume most guys that approach me (with the exception of really really old men) are my age. So I didn’t even think about asking him how old he was. It came out after our first conversation.

SIDE NOTE: Is it just me, or are the young one’s getting more gutsy with the whole cougar movement? I mean, I’m no cougar, but this little boy/older woman thing could be getting out of hand in 5....4...3...2 :END SIDE NOTE

In his defense he thought I was his age. So yeaaa for me, I look like a pretty young thing! Anyways. We went on a date, and lets just say, he’s adorable. Like, I remember when I was a fresh faced young thing, and thought I knew everything. Ahhh the good ole days. His name will be "Klein" (it means tiny in German)

"Klein" was a perfect gentleman. He tried to put on his big boy game.

We indulged in food, a romantic walk, and surprise flowers (it’s been a year since I got flowers, I thought it was a cute gesture)

Now the question is, can I look past the almost 8 year age difference? Let’s be real, while "Klein" was partaking in milk and after-school specials, I was partaking in adult beverages and “adult activities’. Maybe he will make a good boy toy for the spring/summer.

Speaking of the spring, it brings out the masses. Sunday afternoon, this off-duty officer, put his old man mack-game down. Actually, I don’t know how old he is, but I am assuming, that the sprinkle of gray, and divorce status puts him in his 40’s. Fingers crossed, that I’m right. I can’t go back to dating old men. I need to put age caps on these guys.

You need to be this tall to ride this ride.

P.S. I almost forgot, while I was out with kiddie care, my cell was in my clutch. Somehow it accidentally dialed Jason. He called me back twice, but for obvious reasons I didn’t answer. We haven’t really talked since his whole PMS attack.

P.S.S. My new addiction is this right here. Basically, choose your city, & get hooked. Oh & kickboxing is going to be my other part-time lover...

P.S.S.S. Mr. H and I went to dinner & Target last night. A typical Mr. H & Diva hang out thing, sans the sex. He did drop hints that he was feeling a little randy...he's banned from my cookie jar for the rest of his life.

Paper, Plastic, Visa, Passport...

2010-03-23T03:35:00.000Z

So last Sunday, Gustav and I met. He called me three times, and all three were quite weird, as his accent was pretty thick, which made the phone conversations hard. As you can probably tell by his name, he's not American, which I have no problem with. I can do united colors of international. So anyways, we agree to hang out on Friday. Friday comes and the plans aren't really set. I suggest U street, my favorite DC hang out locale, and he says he can't do U street. I thought it was quite odd, but ok. So we meet in Dupont Circle. Again, no plans. Just meet. I can flow, but, for our first "date" flowing and walking around the circle was not what I had in mind. Plus I only allotted him a two-hour window, as I was meeting friends on U street anyways.

SIDE NOTE: I learned my lesson with all night dates. There is now a 2 hr time-limit. ADD usually kicks in around the 1:47 minute mark anyways :END SIDE NOTE

Since he gave up all things meaty and tasty for Lint, he decides we should go eat rabbit food at a salad spot. I can do green things, so I didn't mind. We stop at the atm, walk around the circle, then finally happen upon the veg friendly place. He's telling me about his day, studying for test taking, woo-sa-ing, then he hits me with, "you know I'm married right"?

Errrrk.

Me: Ummmm, no. If I knew you were married I wouldn't have given you my number. Well that changes everything. We can't hang out.

Him: Really, why not? I like you, and I'm just doing it to get my papers. She knows that.

Me: Does she know you're out with me?

Him: No

Me: Well then.

Him: So we can't be friends? I'm really really feeling you.

Me: No

Him: We aren't really together, I just have to ....you know...keep it up. It's just papers. I don't love her.

Me: Nope I'm sorry

Him: Man, I'm so sad. You mean we really can't hang out.

Me: Nope

After I left, I went to U Street. Had adult beverages with adult friends, and met Mr. barely legal...

You Decide

2010-03-22T04:07:00.003Z

So I had two dates this weekend, which one do you want first. The date with grocery store boy, or the date with barely legal to drink?

Paper Or Plastic? Are You A Job Snob???

2010-03-16T14:40:00.000Z

Sometimes I can be a diva of habit. Like for example, I try to take a nap everyday. Every-single-day. Although I love my vodka...we all know what my favorite drink is...and I also tend to shop at the same neighborhood grocery store every Sunday, around the same time. I’m going somewhere with this, bare with me.

So Sunday, I partook in one of my favorite pass-times, sans the vodka. I walk in, peruse the isles. Spend time in the produce section, get my favorite frozen thing-a-ma-jigs, checkout, and head back to my car...nothing unusual from the previous Sundays...except this Sunday, “Gustav” is waiting on me.

Just like me, “Gustav” is there every Sunday too. Perhaps because he works there. Or maybe ~~he’s the silent part-owner~~ he just pretends he works there, and wears the name tag for shits and giggles. In any case he told me he’s been “peeping” me and wanted to get the chance to get to know me.

I’m not a job snob, as about 70% (probably more) of the guys I dated do not have “white collar” 9-5 desk jobs. I’ve dated everything from mission impossible top security military, to “life-long” college students, I promise I won’t go postal mailmen.

In saying that, I usually don’t find out what the occupation is, until after the first, second, or third ~~drink~~ conversation. In fact, I usually don’t ask. It usually comes up, when they ask me what I do for a living.

In saying all of this...I gave Gustav my number...but I would hope this is his side hustle, while he moonlights as a ~~stripper~~ student. Or maybe the economy got to him, and he had to take on extra hours, in either case, I’m “open” to hearing what the deal is...it didn’t hurt that he was hot and sexy...that always helps.

Are you a job snob, why or why not?

Drastic Changes....The 5 Year Itch

2010-03-08T15:43:00.000Z

I wonder how I would fair in a marriage, if I get this bored with my life every five years... - Diva

So as of late and as you can probably tell from my sparse blogging...I’m going through the change (pause). I don’t know if it’s joining the 30 club that has me contemplating drastic changes, like an extreme makeover or something....or if it’s my boredom, or my search for a new spark....something. I dunno

In any case, I’ve been contemplating a lot of things. The number one that occupies my daily thoughts, is moving. Last night, I started researching rental prices on some digs in the city of concrete jungles ~~and large rats...~~

I also feel like I need a career change...
And dating....well a little tune-up won’t hurt...

My lease is up in June...I’m seriously, seriously, thinking of blowing this popsicle stand...

In Other News

I went out with Mr. H last week for drinks. We touched (a slight touch equivalent to a soft graze) on the subject concerning why we are the way we are with each other...don’t worry. We are really done...
Jason called...

No other prospects are in the wings at the moment...

NOLA....THIS UNSENT E-MAIL, PRETTY MUCH SUMS IT UP....

2010-02-19T16:17:00.005Z

After he sent me a text, and I responded with:

Glad Your ok. Deuces.

I meant it. Even after he responded to my text. He was permanently erased.

E-mail, Written, Never Sent:

You displayed the most inconsiderate, asinine behavior ever, and single handedly ruined my weekend. I get that you had to work on Friday, and you were "sick". But when I've had company in town, despite any odds or ill wills I was experiencing, I made sure they had a weekend to remember, or atleast put forth more effort than you displayed. I woke up on Sunday & you weren't there. No big deal. I figured you went back to a chick's room. But then to see that you packed, without so much as a note, or good-bye. That was seriously a slap in the face. I'm not your girl, and don't expect special treatment. But seriously. You just bounced, and send me a text like 8 hrs later??? That was fucking lame. Had you not mentioned me coming to NOLA, I never would have came. If you didn't really want me to come, you should have never suggested it. I pretty much was here by myself. If I wanted to spend my birthday weekend alone, I sure as fuck wouldn't have came to NOLA.

Update: The whole weekend wasn't that bad, I had fun 1 1/2 day

Update #2: And I had fun the day before I left at my b-day happy hour and salsa dancing with friends, afterwards

LAST NUTSHELL...

2010-02-19T16:16:00.000Z

Ok, I think I can focus now. I finally applied to grad-school this week. Actually just one school. I have another one, but I can’t focus on that until next week! Life...at least I’m working on keeping a few of my new years resolutions!

The third day, Thursday, Jason called me in the morning. He didn’t think I was going to answer (that’s what he said) and was going to leave me a voice mail. He apologized for being a punk flake ass and said that something came up with work and that he still wants to do something.

Honestly, I didn’t really believe him. In the past, when something came up, he’d say that, and not wait 3 days to call.

Basically it fizzled. We haven’t talked since then. I haven’t called him. He hasn’t called me.

Down to Two Nutshells...(cont.)

2010-02-16T23:24:00.000Z

I know I'm tardy....but ehhh, blame it on the lack of sunlight. So back to Jason and that random text I received from him after my birthday. Remember the one, this one...right here:

Jason’s Text: “So did you get broke off by your boo, lot’s of birthday gifts, and love every minute of it, lol”

So yeah, I mulled it over with male and female friends, thought about it, and well decided that hey, maybe he was trying to see if I was in-fact single, dating, etc. After we sent a few texts back and forth, I decided that I'd see if he wanted to do something. So, let's see it was MLK weekend, Sunday that we made plans. Jason expressed that we "always" do the movies, and that he wanted to do something "different." Since he was out-of-town, I felt like when he got back in town he may not feel up to much, plus it would be a Monday.

Suggestions weren't flowing freely from his lips, so I suggested he come over for dinner (cause I think I can cook, judging from my sparsely ignored cooking blog) and that afterwards we could go to ESPN Zone for games. He said that sounded cool, and we set-up a time.

Monday afternoon, he sends me a text in the afternoon and says we are still on. I told him to come over around 5 or 5:30.

Side Note: Remember how guarded I am about male company. It took the Old Man a year to see the insides of my abode....and I don't recall cooking for anyone in a long time, with the exception of Mr. H, who doesn't count. So this was kinda a big deal for me: End Side Note

I went to the grocery store, prepped my place, and began getting stuff ready at about 4:30pm. At exactly 5:00pm I put the stuffed pork chops in the oven. At 5:01pm, I get a text from Jason saying he can't make it. Something came up, he'll call me later.

BITCH. DAMN. FUCK.

I was that pissed. Like how are you going to a) send me a text after we confirmed and b) send a text??? Man-up and call
I responded back with: "Damn, that sux, I started cooking"

That night and the following two days, I was told I shouldn't be so hard on him, and that he's never done anything like that before, and that I should give him another chance....blah, blah, blah.

What happened on the third day was just beyond me....

V-Day = Free (insert cliche here) Day

2010-02-16T04:38:00.003Z

V-day should be called "guaranteed ass day" for men. - Diva

V-day is always interesting. Last year I was in Jamaica, with a name I don't really care to mention. ~~Brian.~~ This year, I was here. Tired from insomnia for the last few days and work. I laid in bed most of the day, viewing mass text messages and talking to friends, when I received an out the blue call....from Mr. Henry. A month+ later he decides to call and although I deleted his number (see previous entry) I knew it was him. I answered the phone and we chatted for about 5 mins, then I thanked him for calling and threw up the deuces. I know his m.o. He calls a few days, ~~weeks, months~~ later to see if I'm still mad or remember why I am still mad at him.
Funny thing is or maybe not so funny thing is, the night before, I had a weird dream that he called me and tried to apologize/get back in my good graces. ~~And tried to bone me.~~ Hmmmmm.

So today, he calls me like nothing ever happened (again). Asking me how I was, blah blah blah. Then he asked me if I wanted to catch a movie or get drinks. I declined the movie and told him I'll think about drinks. A few hours later, he sends me naked photos he took of me (damn, he still has those)...so there's the answer. I knew what was on his brain. He just solidified it. He e-mailed me and asked me if I wanted to "come over".

Nope. Sorry....

Happy ~~Vagina~~ Valentine's Day...

In 3 Nutshells...or More (Part 1)

2010-02-05T16:37:00.003Z

With the impending snowstorm, ~~that everyone is freaking out about~~, I’ll probably have plenty of time this weekend to work on my grad school applications (one of a few reasons why I was M.I.A). So today, I decided to begin catching you up, on everything that’s happened in the last month or so....

Mr. Henry

So remember awhile ago, when I mentioned how Mr. H was being a pansy, and pain in my ass, re not shoveling snow, blah, blah, catch up here. Well he called me about three times after our falling out. Each time he talked to me as if nothing happened. NOTHING. Each time, I reminded him about his bitch-assness, and that I was still pissed. The last time he called me was a week after my birthday. Again, carrying on like we haven’t stopped talking.

Mr. Henry: Hey how are you cutie? ....(blah, blah, blah) So I was just calling to check on you, to see how you’re doing...

Me: I’m good, but you should have thought of that a week ago (bastard...ok, I didn’t say bastard, but I thought it.) on my birthday

Mr. Henry: Oh, happy b-lated birthday, how was it. What did you do?

Me: It was really good. Look, I gotta go, thanks for calling. Bye.

And then I hit "delete number".

Jason

I had high hopes for Jason. I mean how many times can one go to the movies and hold hands? And, I don’t just hold hands with any “tom, dick, or harry”. Like seriously. wtf was up? So I had a little impromptu birthday celebration with about 12 or so friends. Jason made an appearance. So things were casual. Mingling, small talk. By the time happy hour was over the group died down, and it was about six of us left. Jason left because he said he had class. Cool. He sends me a text to ask where we are headed after we left the bar. I responded with our plans to go down the street to a salsa/hip hop bar. He responds that he’ll stop by after class. Halfway through salsa dancing, I get a text that he couldn’t make it. Admittedly I was a little bummed, but I was having such a good-time, he ended up becoming an after-thought.
The next day he sends me text, that was extremely odd, and threw me off....

Jason’s Text: “So did you get broke off by your boo, lot’s of birthday gifts, and love every minute of it, lol”

WTF???...to be continued...

The Return....Not Quite...

2010-02-03T18:00:00.002Z

One month of “M-I-A-ness” is coming to a close pretty soon. I have VERY good reasons as to why I took a break from the social network thing. But I’ll probably be back sometime next week with the full details on the demise of Mr. Henry, the Good, Bad & Ugly of my NOLA b-day, the re-appearance of the Old Man, the disappearance of Jason, and the bit on how old flames (namely Mr. Good on paper, a.ka. Carlos) reappear.

Thanks to those who checked to make sure I wasn’t laying in a ditch somewhere between Mississippi and Louisiana.

Luv ya too!

Update: NYE, NOLA, & Randomness

2010-01-04T20:17:00.002Z

Woooowwww. 2010 is already bringing out some randomness. So, I'm at home, suffering the wrath that is mi familia, wishing I could teleport myself somewhere. And guess who sends me a text??? The Old Man. The last-time he actually contacted me was about 8 months ago. So needless to say I was quite surprised. One simple line:

"I miss my kitten. Happy New Year "

The kitten, he's referring to, yep you guessed it...

Other randomness going on in no particular order:

7. Before I left, Devin & I went to The Roots concert. Good-times.

6. NYE with POW. One word. Adventure. So we really didn't have any plans. Actually, my plan was to stay home and sleep. But POW convinced me to go out. So we get out. Listen to a band, see some randomness, then get some late night breakfast. We try to leave.....and the car breaks down. Let me rephrase that. The car breaks down, on New Years Eve, and it's like 10 degrees outside....and the adventure went down from there....I'll let POW tell you the rest. I'm still trying to recover.

5. I have only been home for 4.1 days and I was ready to go on day 2.

4. I'm having a little birthday thing when I get back to the city, then I promptly leave out again for New Orleans

3. The end of Mr. Henry....he called me to assess how mad I was, by pretending nothing ever happened. Don't worry, the rest of that is coming.

2. Island Prince John called me and asked me to come visit him for Carnival.

1. The NOLA plan: So Brian lives about an hour away from NOLA. We are splitting a hotel for the weekend, so we don't have to drive back and forth. Right now, the plan is no plan. Just hang out, drink, and have fun.....T-minus 3 days to NOLA. T-minus 2 till the BIG 3-0!

8 Days, 12 hours, Or Something Like That....

2009-12-28T15:20:00.000Z

Post-Holiday Update: Last Weeks Date

Actually my holiday really hasn’t started quite yet. Before I give you the goods on Mr. H, I forgot to tell you about my date last week. It was ok...maybe that’s why I forgot to mention it. Nothing exciting. Just drinks with Chris. Remember him??? Yeah, I know, it’s been awhile. We keep in touch periodically, but nothing worth mentioning in general. No sex, no romance, nothing worth jumping up and down about. He’s nice enough, just no chemistry.

Our date was kinda like running into an old college friend, and then saying, “hey we should have drinks sometime”...but then you go & have drinks, and wish you could take it back. Something like that....

In Other News

Jason & I played phone tag one day last week. He left me a cute little poem on my voice-mail. Actually it was super corny, but I loved it! I wish I could play it for you, cause as soon as I heard it, I died from ~~ingesting too much air~~ laughter. Jason is such a sweetheart. He’s at home, so we haven’t hung out, but it was nice talking to him.

In Other, Other News

The 30 club is sending my membership card in like 8 days. I’m getting a little excited. #neworleanshereicome

Weekend Update: Man of the House, He is Not...

2009-12-24T05:51:00.000Z

His Slow Death, Has Been Fast Tracked...

So Mr. Henry & I have had a slight fight, i.e. parting of ways, i.e. lovers quarrel, i.e. he's in time-out for the umpteenth time. It pretty much stemmed from a ~~little~~ lot of selfishness on his end. Sorry to all you Mr. H lovers, but, let's keep it real. Mr. H and I aren't good for each other. (Although POW swears we are going to get married.) I think the history and comfort, and ~~freaky shit~~ keeps us going back for more. Like when he's good, he's not that bad. But when he pisses me off, it's only so much I can take before I reached my piss-tivity limit. Here's what happened.

Friday night, he wanted me to trek to his place to "fold sheets". By the time we actually got it together, the 3 ft. blizzard predictions had actually begun to come to fruition. I told him, that I wasn't sure how bad it was going to get and that I would prefer he come back to my place, because I had stuff to take care of in the morning, if the weather permitted He agreed. We stop and get food and drinks, and settle in for movies and a "sheet-folding marathon".

So Friday night, we fooled around but didn't have sex. I wake-up Saturday morning, and lo and behold the weathermen were actually right. Mr. H wakes up a little cranky, because we didn't make it a homerun night. He requested sex and breakfast. Houston, we have a problem. I didn't make it to the grocery store, so my fridge is bare. I tell him I'll throw something together, but I wanted to see how bad it was, because, I had stuff to take care of for my business.
I go out, and see that the snow is piling up on my porch. I decide to play super-diva, and start shoveling the snow. Mind you it's like 9 in the morning, and it's still going strong. For every patch I got done, it was covered about 10 minutes later. My neighbor comes out and we both shovel and chitchat. About 30 minutes later, I go inside and am a little peeved at Mr. H. He's sitting on the couch ~~scratching his balls,~~ watching t.v.

Him: What happened to breakfast

Me: Uhhh, are you f'n serious??? You coulda cooked. Why didn't you come check on me, or come out and help. You are so fucking lazy. I can't believe you just sat here the whole time & watched tv.

Him: Uhhhhhh, no one told you to go out and be superwoman. I just got up, and I've been calling the airline to check on my flight but couldn't get through. You said you were gonna cook, not go out & shovel snow at 9 in the morning

Me: My neighbor came out to help me

Him: You didn't give me a chance to get up and get dressed.

Me: You have to shovel my car out. I can't believe you

Trust me, this was only the beginning, to be continued...

Late Night Quickie Update:Snowed In With Mr. H

2009-12-19T06:37:00.004Z

Well not snowed in yet, but close. He's asleep and I'm wide awake. Sigh. I know I've been MIA, but work & life and more work had me tired the last few weeks. It's almost over...

So here's 3 quickies in no particular order.

1. Mr. H & I have been spending a lot of time together lately. He spent the night three times this week, and I spent the night at his place once. I'm not ready to do the relationship talk thing, I'm in chill mode. We've been down this raod & quite frankly, I like where we are at right now...although there is one thing I haven't told him, which is...

2. I'm going to New Orleans to party with Brian my birthday weekend...at this point, no one else is going.

3. Miss you guys too!!!

Weekend Update: F'N Wagons

2009-12-07T15:48:00.002Z

I spoke too soon. Me going without vodka, is akin to me not breathing. It doesn’t make since. Suffice it to say, I fell this weekend. Hard. Damn Wagon. Oh, and while we’re at it. I might as well make my other confession. I seen it coming a week or so ago, when we hung out, and I held out. All this weekend he continued to wear me down. I tried to be strong, I did. But, when he asked me to wear my “tall black boots” I knew I was doomed. He tried to pull out all the stops too, candles, full body massage, extra foreplay....Mr. H, Mr. H. Don’t ask me what we are doing. Even I don’t know at this point. It’s like a really good shoe sale, you know you need to walk away, but you can’t. You’re addicted to shoe shopping....sorry that’s the only metaphor that I could think of!

In Other News

I’m thinking about going to New Orleans. Brian and I texted and talked Friday, and he suggested it, since my birthday plans aren’t really going as planned. Small little secret. I’m scared as shit. I haven’t seen him since this summer, and well. We talk, but neither one of us have talked about THIS.

7 Weeks, 5 Days, Going Without

2009-12-04T15:53:00.002Z

5. So I have given up all things drinking for the month of December. Don’t laugh. I can do it. Remember that one time I went 17days....the main reason is my b-day, the other reason is my last drinking bout. I had waaayyyy too much in like the course of two hours, get this at brunch! I don’t want to look like one of those women who have been drinking every single day at breakfast, lunch & dinner, when I’m 40. So, no more vodka, at least for the next 30 days!

4. Mr. H and I hung out last weekend, Saturday night & most of Sunday. We went drinking (that was second time that day) and then he spent the night. I really didn’t want him to roll over & play hokey pokey, so I decided to sleep on the couch. Around 4am, he came & got me, and took me back to my room. He tried to pull me close & I moaned and pulled away. He tried to rub my booty and I scooted away. In the morning, I got up before him & jumped in the shower. Later that day, he asked why I didn’t accept his love-stick “gift”. I gave him the brush off...

3. I’ve been extremely busy after work. Hence the hiatus.

2. Brian sent me a random text on Monday, asking me if it was my birthday & how my Thanksgiving was. #random

1. Jason & I have been playing a little tag. We were going to try to hang out, but both have conflicting schedules as of late. We talked randomly this week, and I found out, he wants like a million kids. We all know how I feel about that....

P.S. I think I might give up love-sticks too. It’s been 7 weeks, and I haven’t been horny, not once...well maybe after my vivid dream last night. Oh & when I worked out with my trainer this week. Oh & when I....never-mind

REPOST: P.S.A: Shedding Light on Scary Words

2009-12-01T17:58:00.001Z

I originally posted this in March, today seems appropriate to re-post.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"It's time for another P.S.A. Don't skim, read it. Damn it." - Diva

There aren’t too many things that scare me. Spiders, nope. Monsters under my bed...nope. Having dreams about running in a naked marathon...not so much. But who knew that there would be three words, (sometimes four) that scare me. Or rather three acronyms.

Last week, and the week before last, I was obsessed. I tend to do it atleast twice a year. Stay up surfing the net, googling, and reading all of the latest info. Then talking to the nurse about new statistics...Diva, what are you talking about??? HIV, AID's, STD’s. Yep, those words scare the shit out of me and it boggles me, why they don’t scare other people. I mean, I would have to question someone who is more worried about getting preggers (or getting someone preggers) than catching one of these three letter words. Or maybe they do scare people so much, they can’t even bring themselves to utter the said word. So lets say it: HIV, AID's, STD's...

I remember the first time I went to get tested. My gosh, it was the longest 3 minutes and the longest week of my life.

I go into the center and am the only person there. This attractive counselor meets me and starts asking me all kinds of questions?

Him: Do you use needles

(In my head) - Do I look like I use needles?

Me: No

Him: Do you have multiple partners

(In my head) - How dare he?

Me: No, I’m celibate

Him: Have you engaged in sex with men, women or both?

(In my head) - WTF???

Me: Men

The questions went on & on. Then we did the oral swab (OraSure) and it was done. Just like that. But not quite. I had to wait almost one week for my results. That was the LONGEST week of my life. Someone calls me from the office, “can’t you just tell me over the phone?” - no, it’s policy, you have to come in, the voice replies.

I go in, and am forced to wait in the office. Then I’m called to a smaller room.

My heart stops beating. I can barely move. I feel like I could pass out at any moment.

The same counselor that did the swab is reading something to me. I don’t know, I can’t hear. My eyes are blurry...then he hands me the paper.

Him: Are you ok?

Me: Yes, I was just scared?

Him: Well you are ok, you’re negative. In my eight years of working here, I can count on one hand how many times I had to give bad news, and they were extreme cases. Just be sure to be safe, use protection and to get tested every 6 months to a year.

My heart started beating again. That was the year I stayed celibate. I was so utterly terrified, scared, and petrified of those scary acronyms...

Educate yourselves, use protection, get tested.

Start here:
http://www.avert.org/america.htm
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/stds-hiv-safer-sex-101.htm
http://www.aids.gov/
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/surveillance/basic.htm#hivest

(The fourth scary word is unrelated, another blog another time)

Friday Night Date: Ummm How Old Are You?

2009-11-23T18:48:00.003Z

How can I say this nicely...his cons definitely outweighs his pros.

My date on Friday, sigh. First let me say this. There are some disclaimers and information one should reveal about themselves within the first few conversations. I know some people will disagree with me, but, my date definitely was pulling the “don’t ask, don’t tell policy” on me on Friday.

First - I was surprised by his appearance. I mean that in the nicest way. I just simply forgot what he looked liked. I’m standing at Borders, waiting for him to appear, and I’m watching all the young attractive professionals walk by. ~~One in particular was quite yummy~~. And low & behold, someone’s grandpa sneaks up behind me and gives me a hug.....oh wait, it was my date! Grant....wow, what can I say??? I’m sure he could have been a cutie in his heyday, but well right now, he was a cross between Ben Franklin & John McCain (ok, I kid, I kid....but still)...

Second - Our date started out quite early for a Friday, and it went into the wee hour of 1am. I didn’t uphold my own two-hour rule. But in my defense, it was hard, because he wanted to take me around the ~~World~~ D.C. to all of his favorite spots. We started off by stopping at a shop to get items that we would need for the second portion of the date (get your minds out the gutter), then we headed to at a private members only club and had drinks and dinner. He showed me around, and we talked politics, work, etc. His first surprise came at ohhh about half-way through the first bottle of wine. He has three kids. Now I’m not one to discriminate against people with children, in fact I did date the Old Man who had two sons my age. I never made an issue of it. But well Grant has three ~~moochers~~ teenagers who happen to live with him. Now something about all of this info coming out, after I’m pretty much stuck at dinner, is fishy. Ok, you have three kids that live with you??? Hmmmmm.

Me: So I take it you’ve been married

Grant: I’m separated

Ahhhh, the moment of truth, this old fart is still married, and is obviously living with wifey and the kids. (Separated my ass) At this point he didn’t offer up anymore information. I didn’t feel like probing him, because I already decided this will be our first & last date, and since he was obviously not going to volunteer the pertinent information needed, I had no choice but to draw my own conclusion.

Third - The thing, that bothered me the most, aside from the fact that he had three and a possible on his payroll, was the fact that he was a big fat faker. I mean, he was so fake, you look up fake, and his picture appeared in color. How so? He was flashy, he was fronting, he kept bragging. He wanted me to know that he was well off. Everything came back to his job & where he went to school at. He kept saying “this is the life”, “we are living the life of luxury”. Newsflash papa, smoking cheap cigars, and eating $15.00 dinner specials are not the life of luxury in my book. Yes, we are fortunate, but stop-it. He kept telling me how he liked the finer things in life, so I decided to pull his card.

Me: Oh, you must really travel a lot, where have you been?

Grant: Oh St. Lucia and Greece

Me: Wow, Greece? When was the last time you’ve been there

Grant: Oh about 10 years ago

Me: So that’s it?

Grant: Well, ummm I like to go skiing, and I go to Lake Tahoe. So where have you been?

Me: Ohh, I’ve been to France, Belgium, Germany, London, Jamaica, the D.R., I think Jamaica was my favorite though

The look was a Kodak moment...

Oh, wait-to top it all off. He lost major points when he told me he was a Republican...so in a nut-shell, that was my date with Ben Franklin...

Unexpected Option (Part 2 of 2)

2009-11-20T15:30:00.005Z

Sooo, I know part 2 is a day or so late. So much, yet so little is going on. So Friday ended with Jason and I parting ways. The weekend was simple. I had business stuff to take care of, Mr. Henry was dropping hints about “coming” over and quite frankly, I’ve just been in “chill” mode.
Monday, was very, very interesting. A few things happened, first I received a call from “Grant” a new guy that I’m going on a date with tonight. He called me on Monday to see if I wanted to go on a date on Tuesday. Last minute eh? I told him I was busy, and that Friday would work best for me (all I did on Tuesday was go to the gym, but he didn’t need that info).

Second, Mr. Henry called me to see if I wanted to go to the gym with him. (he likes to watch me on the treadmill) I declined, and told him, I was going to Pilates.

Third, I text Jason to see if he was going home next week for Thanksgiving. A few texts and a conversation later, I’m at his place taking my clothes off, just kidding!!! We decided to catch a movie ~~yes I know we just seen one on Friday~~ run an errand, and grab an impromptu bite to eat.

The whole time we are joking with each other and just having a good time. The weather is nice, we are both in a good mood, and he drove, so I had a chance to just be. We make it to the movie just as it’s starting, so we sat up front. Throughout the movie, we make little comments to each other, at one point he grabs my hand, and is rubbing it, playing with it, interlacing our fingers.

The movie gets deep.

My gaze is transfixed on the screen.

I’m trying to hold it back.

~~Diva’s don’t cry~~ A few silent tears escape.

Jason reaches over and rubs the tears off my face. And holds my hands tighter.

Jason (whispering): Aweee are you crying, it’s ok. Don’t cry.

Me: No, I’m not crying. It’s your breath, it has me in tears. I told you not to say words that begin with ahhh

Jason: (Laughing) Whatever.

After the movie, we talk about it, and head back to his place. A few things to note about our outing:

1) While we were eating, he asked me about Brian. I ~~almost~~ forgot I told him, I had a crush on him. We had a conversation

2) He’s such a F’n gentleman, opens car doors, front doors, just doors in general, let’s me walk in first, walks me to the truck, pushes me out of the way, so cars won’t hit me. You almost forget to expect “gentlemanly behavior”.

3) The verdict is out...

Unexpected Options (Part 1 of 2)

2009-11-17T03:23:00.001Z

An unexpected option may surprise you. Jason. Remember him. Kinda movie buddy, former co-worker. Well he ended up being my Friday option this weekend. Imagine, it was Friday, wet & rainy, and mother nature was kicking my ass, but I didn't want to stay in, despite my uterus feeling like a semi was hitting it over, and over, and over. I went & had a drink in Adams Morgan and sent a few texts. I almost forgot about Jason being somewhat of a homebody, but willing to "chill". I sent him a text to see what he was doing. We ended up setting up a last minute thing for the movies.

Around 10pm, I meet him, and the theatre is PACKED. We made it just in time to see our movie. Throughout it, we are laughing and making stupid jokes to each other. He grabs my hand, and we we end up holding hands most of the movie, the other part my hand is on his thigh. After the movie, we kind of walk arm in arm to my truck.

The awkward moment commences. You know the moment...

he walks me to the truck,

we stand there for a sec, he realizes he's parked one floor up and asks for a ride to his truck.

We find his truck, and I pull out the way to let him out.

He lingers for a second and tells me what a great time he had, I tell him likewise.

The car behind us goes around.

I look in my rearview.

I open my arms & give him a hug and tell him I'll see him later.

He gets out.

Vegas, According To Bond (Guest Post)

2009-11-16T14:40:00.002Z

I read and lurk on a lot of blogs. I present to you Bond. Black Bond. It just so happened that Bond & I were in Vegas the same weekend; extremely unknowingly close. And, it just so happened, that we may have stayed in the same hotel for a day or so!!! In anycase, I’m not spilling the beans on what happened with me & POW in Vegas. Atleast not yet. However, you should enjoy the Bond Experience.
Enjoy
Diva
_________________________________________________________

(This is the finale for the Vegas series. I was there for another night, but it was uneventful as I was there alone. I know each post was lengthy and I took awhile to finish, but I wanted to be as descriptive and authentic as I could be. I will be back to 'normal' blogs from this point. At least until the next series--Bond)

Starring: The Black Bond
Co-Starring: Diddy
Guess Starring: Latino Mami(s), The Texas Girls, The Beckys, D list celebrities, retired athlete, Pop starlet, random video vixen/jersey chasers, etc.
Location: VEGAS!

Soundtrack courtesy of The Black Bond iPod

"Run This Town", "F*ck All Night", "Excuse Me Miss" by Jay-Z
"Money to Blow", "Still Fly", "Ransom", "Stunt Hard" by Drake
"Never Get It", "H*es" by Lil' Wayne
"First Day Out" by Gucci Mane (AYE!)
"3 in the morning" by UGK
"PWA" by 5th ward boyz
"Hey Ma (remix)" by Cam'Ron
"Bubble Music" by Cam'Ron
"Bad Whiskey (Wavy)" by Max B

"The Game is ours
we'll never foul out...
Y'all just better hope
we gracefully bow out"--Sean Carter, Do It Again, Vol. 3

Diddy gets a call from a gamer in ATL. A gamer is what we call a female player. She usually has the face of an angel, body of a goddess, personality of a jester, and the aura of a queen. When I was in college and I would be in cities like Atlanta, Houston, D.C., etc. they were frequent. Now I see more clucks than a little. I think people in general just are not what they used to be.

Anyway, this particular gamer is calling Diddy about a business opportunity. He puts his phone on speaker to let me hear her slick talk. She is selling a product called a body wrap*. She has a practical monopoly from Atlanta to Houston with this product and she wants to expand to Los Angeles. She boasts that she has made $15,000 in one month. She wants Diddy and whoever he knows (i.e. Me & J) to put some money up for her to expand or to take the body wrap to our respective cities of origin/residence. The money sounds good, but I'm a guy--what the hell do I look like selling body wraps to women?!

She goes in about how when she was in Vegas a guy noticed her ass (yeah, that'll do it) and put her up in a penthouse. He lives in L.A. but she hasn't had a chance to break him. She's not about sex, she says it takes a check to get her wet. Hilarious...but I love it; reminds me of one of my lines. Diddy tells her he will hear her out, types in the dates she will be in L.A. then hangs up.

I go through my wager slips to see if there are any I have overlooked. Damn. I notice all of the money I lost; moreover, the money I lost out on. I find two slips that seem to be live: 8-team parlay cards with one game left for Ole Miss. Win potential: $1100 dollars. I think my luck is about to change.

Diddy texts the Italian girl, her name is Janelle*. She works for a publishing and media company on the east coast. She was in Vegas initially for business, but decided to go out Saturday. I instruct him on what to say. She comes across as a woman who is susceptible to flattery. She eventually stops texting and calls after one of his (my) lines intrigue her. She wants to meet us at the infamous pool party that takes place at the Hard Rock every Sunday. She has passes & VIP, however, we must go now to take advantage.

I tell Diddy I will meet him at the Hard Rock. I do not want to be a third wheel and I want to see if I will win these bets. I also need to pack because I cannot stand being at this hotel any longer than I have to. I tell him to call me once he gets in line. He tells me that Fabolous was at a club inside the Bellagio last night called The Bank, and we probably could have gone in with me in jeans and a t-shirt. I don't think he realizes that I am impartial.

Diddy leaves and I turn the television to ESPN to see the Ole Miss game. Ole Miss is winning, however, they are not covering the spread. Damn. I'm about to be depressed all over again. I send out a few texts to see if anybody else had any luck yesterday. The next thing I know, Ole Miss bounces back to score 28 points in the 4th quarter. I win. Guess my luck has changed.

I jump up to pack and take a shower. After I get dressed, I noticed Diddy has called. He says that the line to the pool party is around the block. The pool party was free until noon, however, the line will negate anybody getting in there by noon. I ask him about the passes, but her connect is no longer there...probably in the pool party. It turns out that T-pain and Fabolous will be at this pool party so it will be a concert as well as a party. I tell him to call me back when he finds out what the cover is.

I put on cargo shorts, polo shirt, and uptowns then head to my original hotel. On my way out there are men holding hands by the pool area. Pause.
I catch a cab to my hotel to check in. I walk into the lobby and there seems to be more people here than ever before. It seems like every time someone leaves Vegas, three people replace them. I ignore the line and walk directly to the attendant and inform her I have a reservation. She motions me to one of the people at the front desk. They place me on the 21st floor with a view of the strip. Guess my luck has improved.

After receiving my key card I walk to the sportsbook to collect my money. I see the Latino guy from Saturday, who asks me how my luck has been. I tell him it just got better: $1100 dollar parlay win. He says "shit! Damn homie, I need to do what you're doing". I give him dap then head upstairs to drop off my bags. Diddy calls to inform me that the cover is $100 dollars for guys, $50 dollars for females and it is already after noon. I tell him that I will be there, but he does not want to go, because he and Janelle decide to get massages. Now I see he is in impressive mode because he starts whispering asking me what type of massages are available and how much they cost. He wants to know what type of massage I had and how much it costs.
I tell him the massage was about $135 for a 60 minute session. He yells that I was bugged for paying that but...it's Vegas. I enjoy living life without the harsh confines of possible restrictions.
He tells me he will call once they finish. I tell him to ditch the massage and go straight to her room. He laughs, but says he doesn't think so. Despite his initial aggression, he sometimes gets passive after initial contact; whereas I am usually tame initially and my aggression escalates as time goes on.

I decide to grab something to eat. I find a gourmet burger restaurant. This restaurant has all kinds of hamburgers made from various meats: pork, beef, lamb, turkey, etc. They also have a great selection of beers. To start off I have an apple beer while I look over the menu. In lieu of my win, I decide to order a Kobe beef burger on ciabatta bread. I finish the apple beer in 2 minutes. The bartender tells me that they offer a better selection. This is a coy way of him saying I need to step my beer game up (laughs). Never one to back to down from a challenge, I go straight to the beers from Germany.

My uncle served 2 tours in Germany during the 80's. He would always remark about three things: Cleanliness, Beer, and Women. He would tell me stories where his German girlfriends behavior was damn near obsessive. They would drink with him, fight people with him (laughs), and sex him crazy. He would get excited reminiscing about his time in Germany. I tried to remember the name of the beer he always spoke about. He's been gone for a few years now and though we were not close, I miss him. When he got out of the Army to live with us for a few months when I was a child, I though he was the biggest man on earth. 6'4, 280 lbs of muscle. Baritone voice. Country boy through and through: he loved to eat, drink, fight, and chase women so much so that could have been his obituary. Most of all he loved his family. One of the guys he drank with noted how pretty my sister was once and he grabbed his Glock and chased the guy down the street. My father had to be called to calm him down because he wanted to kill the guy...and that was his friend. I often think about my uncle in an NFL uniform or in a boxing ring. His room at my Nana's house lined with trophies, metals, and athletic awards. I think if he had received the guidance at a young age his story would have ended differently.

Doppelbock. That is the name of the beer. I order a Doppelbock to pay homage to my uncle. I have yet to enjoy the life of the Deutsch, but at least with this beer I will give my uncle his moment. The beer is corked. The bartender must uncork the beer before I can drink it. The alcohol content is about 12%. At this point two girls are seated on my left and everyone else is looking at the spectacle that is a beer. I take a sip: it tastes like a Guinness syrup. The girls want to know how it tastes. I tell them it is good, just very strong. They introduce themselves as: Liz* and Hailey*. Liz lives in San Diego, Hailey lives in Vegas. Hailey is the better looking, but Liz is the most personable. Hailey has a boyfriend (damn), Liz does not. I lay on the charm and discover Liz is a buyer for a department store. I inquire about the Barney's limited edition converse and she gives me a number of someone in NY to contact Monday. Out of the blue, Hailey declares that she likes me and I am cool. Guess I passed the test. They whisper for awhile, then my phone rings: Diddy.

Diddy informs me that he is at the Wynn receiving a deep-tissue massage with Janelle. Janelle was concerned that I was lonely and wanted to check on me. I tell him that I won my bets, unpacked my bags, and I am now enjoying the companies of two ladies. He says, "Damn, I guess you winning?", I reply, "that's what I do. Win.". He tells me he'll call me when he finishes.

I tell the girls it was Diddy. They vocalize their initial concerns why I was alone. They though I was with a female. After small talk, Liz gives me her number and asks me to call them tonight to hang out. Yeah, that usually turns out well for me. Hailey mentioned getting my opinion on some lingerie she bought and Liz casually mentioned that she had never dated a Black guy. Guess my luck has changed.

The girls give me hugs with promises to call me tonight for fun. I continue my conversation with a couple sitting to my right. We have an enlightened conversation about marriage, careers, children, and love. I thank them, pay my tab, then head back to the room.

I lay down for a minute to allow my body to enjoy a $50 dollar hamburger. I am confused if the past few days have been a fallacy or reality. I no longer have the urge to hit the club every night, sleep with every Beyonce/Kenya Moore doppelganger, drink like fish, or smoke like a train, but I'm not sure I'm ready for the pasture that is suburban cookouts, khakis, and conformity.

Diddy calls to tell me that he and Janelle went back to her room. He notes how soft and curvy her body was. The type of body that makes men end up with 7 kids and neurotic habits. She gave him head that was mind-blowing (pun intended). Just when he was about to lay her, her boss calls...

Continue the rest of the Bond Experience here.

Presents: Christmas Comes Early

2009-11-11T18:32:00.004Z

So I have a few presents for my fellow bloggers, followers, secret crushes, and lovers (just kidding). Christmas is coming early for you!!!! Yeaaaa, um ok.

So I have been a busy little Diva. I've been on my grown-up stuff, so I haven't had much time for foolery, but I have had the pleasure of dropping a fun post over at True's spot What DC People Hate. She is pretty much raw & un-cut and says how she feels, but oh, so funny!!! Check her out, and follow her on twitter.

I didn't reveal all of my secrets, but I did drop a few hints on how to maximize multiple dates in one day!

Oh, and guess what, my gift-giving isn't over yet. I have something extremely fun in the works, that will shed a little more insight on what I do, when I'm not dating. Stay close to your BB's, cause I will be revealing it soon!

Stay dry.

Diva

60 days...

2009-11-06T18:09:00.002Z

I can’t believe it! Two months until I officially leave behind my twenties. I’ve been feeling a little bit excited, nostalgic, and moody about it all. Actually, the age, rather word thirty, doesn’t quite scare me, as I don’t look a day over 25! However, the looming day ahead, has me analyzing my life and all of the things I have done, and haven’t done for that matter. I’ll admit, I have been somewhat of a slacker the last few years as it pertains to working, my career, and long-term life goals. I put a lot of that aside for partying and traveling the last few years. I do not regret it. Let me repeat that. I do not regret it.

The only thing I wish I was better at is saving, which I plan on being more diligent about. But well the partying and drinking, ehhh, I’m still in my twenties, and for me your 20’s (and ahem early thirties) are for partying and figuring life out. Maybe I’m pushing it a little, but you can’t change my mind on that.

I recently got back into the gym, because I want to bring in thirty with a BIG fabulous party and little sexy party dress, so I am cutting down on my extracurricular activities of vodka. Well I already started cutting down. Besides, I’ve been getting a bit bored lately with going out. I ventured out Wednesday night & last night, and have plans for tonight, but am thinking of “chilling”.

Speaking of “chilling”, guess who called me last night? (ok, not really related) The news broke on twitter first. Brian. I was in the shower and heard my phone. I thought it was a chick friend of mine calling me because I hadn’t made it to the watering hole yet. Instead it was him. I deleted his number in September because, our last conversation left me on the fence about our “friendship” ever being the same. Needless to say, I didn’t e-mail or call him, and lo-and behold, a missed call from his area code.

Speaking of out the blue calls/texts/flair messages and I miss you letters, I’ve been receiving quite a few of those lately. What is it with past flings re-surfacing? The saying holds true. "You never miss a good thing until it’s gone."

Quickie Weekend Update, No Babies Allowed

2009-11-02T14:33:00.006Z

I've been slacking, I know...

This weekend was wet, not completely organized...both nights

Last week Mr. Henry and I had sex a few times and the guest post I wrote over at Single Sisters Speak Out is kinda related. By the way I still haven't had the big O. A good friend of mine had a good conversation about orgasms and sex, and basically, I have to keep at it...

More later, under the gun at work

Get My Groove Back

2009-10-27T14:46:00.002Z

Just when I thought I narrowed it down, I didn’t. Thus far my choices for this weekend’s costume festivities are:

Virgin (courtesy of Jac)
Sexy Chef
Sexy Chauffer
Cheerleader (I was one last year)
Space Cadet

Ummmm. I can’t think of anything else.

I have two costume parties to go to this weekend. One on Friday and one on Saturday. I love the thought of dressing in costume and hanging out. Last year, I went as a cheerleader and had a blast!!! This year I want to be more creative, however, I have like 72 hours to get it together.

So this past weekend I went out one day, spent one with Mr. H, and chilled on the last one. I have considerably cut down on going out. At first I thought I should have a doctor to check my temperature, you know...to see if I had some kind of “lackofgoingout” bug going around. But in all honesty, I think I’ve kinda been all partied out. Lately it’s been the same thing, different day. I even dropped my signature drink for a new one. Maybe I should switch back. In any case, I’ll get my groove back this weekend!!! Sexy costumes always do it for me!!!

I’m Convinced. He Likes To Mess My Hair Up

2009-10-22T15:13:00.004+01:00

I want to know who’s selling the “she went to the salon, time to mess her up radar”. Mr. Henry’s timing.....ehhhh. Don’t get me wrong. The afternoon romp yesterday was fun, but there was no point in my visit to the salon, only for Mr. H to “sweat it out” less than 24 hours later.

I don’t know what we are doing? Really. He called and text me consistently for the last week. Yesterday when I didn't text him back right away, he called me at work and asked me if I received his text, (his text was a bit kinky, so I decided to make him wait). Hmmmmm.

It’s time for some new meat (pause), but I haven’t been up to going out lately. I went out last night for awhile, well I guess all night. I got home a few minutes before 2am. I’m thinking I’m all partied out...we’ll see what the weekend holds.

Friday night, open bar. Open bars always make life better.

Detroit. The Update: Short & Sweet

2009-10-21T18:09:00.001+01:00

5. Detroit & my Michigan trip were good in general. Yes, they are one in the same, but I say Michigan because I was all over the place. I tried to fit everyone and everything in during the course of 4 days (technically 3 minus travel time). I ended up getting semi sick from the lack of sleep, traveling, and being cold...I’m 97% better now.

4. Chuck called me before my plane had the chance to taxi in. I called him back, but I was kinda just tired, hadn’t gotten the rental yet, and had about an hour drive to knock out. We played phone tag the next few days, tried to work something out, and finally got a chance to see each other over dinner & drinks. He has a girlfriend now. At first he didn’t claim her. Like, the first 3 times I asked about her. He finally broke down & showed me a picture of them the night before at her birthday party. Like really, you’re getting ready to go to Egypt with her in two weeks and you are still on the fence??? Hmmmm.

3. Lighting must have struck after I left the church. I’m pretty sure of it. Yes. I said church. I, Diva, actually went to church on Sunday while I was in Detroit. My Aunt asked me to go. Me being a woman of my word obliged her, although I was up until 5am that morning.

2. I won $823.00 dollars at MGM!!!

1. I spent it all back...(not in the same day) damn it. Don’t ask...ok half that night and pretty much half the next day.

The Vault: About Chuck

2009-10-15T17:09:00.002+01:00

As promised, shedding some insight on Chuck...

The first time I met Chuck, there was a block party on campus, at one of the apartment complexes. It was one of those parties my roommates and I happened upon and just ended up talking, flirting, watching, flirting. In college, I was a bold little something. I said the first thing that came to mind in some situations...more or less a good girl, but a “huge shit talker”, in a nice way.

So I see this guy, who I’ve seen around campus before, walking around looking like a greasy imitation of Al B. Sure. He was a ~~super duper super~~ senior, and in a fraternity that’s non-descript, but somehow they appeared on campus. Anyways, I see him talking to this girl. She gives him her number and as soon as she walks away, he gives it to his friend and they throw it away.

I said something to him. In a funny, but kind of “I know you didn’t, you’re not-all that” sort of way.

A month or so later, I see this same guy after a night at the bar. And yet again, he’s acting like he’s the shit, again, walking around, this time with a sucker, ~~being nasty~~ the one thing that irked the hell out of me in college. So I yell out the car and tell him he’s not all of that. We’re going back and forth ~~flirting~~ talking shit to each other and next thing you know, we’re exchanging numbers, and somehow end up on my couch.

We ended up becoming really good friends ~~after tons of debauchery and lasciviousness~~ although he always thought I was kidding when I told him he was bad in bed, or that his extended member was small. He had such a big ego (why, I’ll never know) so he thought I was funny, a challenge, and made it his mission to prove me wrong...

It’s been about nine, ten years and we are still friends and to this day, I still let him know, he's not all of that, and he still has a small Mr. Chuck. I'm not an ego killer, he still has one...

Detroit, Detroit

2009-10-15T14:47:00.001+01:00

So like in seven or so hours I will be in the “D”. It’s been two years since my last visit, and I am definitely looking forward to catching up with some of my favorite people. Who? Well you guys met Breezy not too long ago, then there’s Chuck who I blogged about in passing. A few family members and other friends...

Speaking of Chuck, our friendship is interesting (I'll reach into the Vault & pull out our history). We’ve been friends for awhile, and Breezy, being the good friend that she is, took a few for the team when it came to his “friends”. The best wing-woman ever! And she got some perks from it! Chucks friend was so “in love” with her, he went the extra mile. Ahhhh the good ole days.

So Breezy, have my bullet-proof vest ready (I kid, lol)...

Weekend Update: Card Review & Puerto Rico, Maybe???

2009-10-12T16:02:00.001+01:00

I’m sure my party girl card is up for review by the Party Police. This weekend was one of those weekends. I think it’s my bi-week, rather bi-month. I did go out Friday, and danced the whole night (my dress was soaking wet, ewwww.), however I really didn’t want to. I got invites to hang on Saturday and Sunday, but was tired after the work grind on Saturday, btw Mr. Henry did come through and helped me out!!! Maybe after this week’s little vacay to Michigan, I’ll get back on the party wagon.

Speaking of Mr. Henry, we talked about plans for our vacation to Puerto Rico Thanksgiving weekend. I started looking into places to stay last week. I think he really wants to do something, as do I...however I’m having second thoughts on whether we should go on this trip together. I know it seems ass backwards seeing as how I go on trips with everyone else. However, sexing on a weekly, nightly slumber-parties and weekend vacation romp fests could add up to be a disaster down the line. In fact, this weekend, we didn’t do the horizontal tango and I’m cool with that.

In fact, I think it’s time we buried the past and move on...no more sexing Mr. H...

Text Messages

2009-10-08T00:24:00.004+01:00

I received the following text message today....

"Hi, this is "Derrick". The reason why I text you was to find out how you are doing. Also not trying to get into you business but how is your relationship going with your boyfriend"

Background:

I met Derrick last year when I went with Brian to Miami. In my defense, I was under the influence of alcohol. "Derrick" would send me text messages pretty much daily, even if I didn't respond.

Sometime in April or May, I told him I had a boyfriend....

In Other News:

Yes, I'm aware. I've been M.I.A.

My Yoga Pants Must Be Sexy

2009-09-29T05:31:00.001+01:00

This is like the ~~fourth, fifth~~, sixth time I've been accosted either on my way to my Pilates class, or leaving my Pilates class. Tonight, while I was in my happy place, this guy approached me. First, I'm all sweaty, looking like I just finished a marathon and ten-hour romp session, walking home, yoga mat in hand, still being "centered" and guy (to be named later) stops me, not in a good way. Second, he tries to relate to me and tells me that he takes yoga, and proceeds to name all of the classes he's taken.

Ok, dude. I don't care. I'm hungry, sweaty, and I was in my happy place. See, the thing is, I felt like he was ~~stalking~~ following me, because he came from out of nowhere, and just kind of rolled up on me like he was the FBI.

So he asks to call. (Side Note: I was feeling all of the red flags beginning to slowly rise :End Side Note)

Thirty minutes later he sends his first text.

Yep. My inital assesment of his approach was on point. His name should be Mr. Red Flag. Not only did he not allow enough time for me to shower, eat, watch Heroes, which I missed anyways because I thought it came on at 9pm and not at 8pm, he came off as being el desperate. Like dude.

He then commits another cardinal sin or...well it should be one. Here's the text:

Mr. Red Flag: What are three things men like about ur personality, and three things men like about you physically"

Really? Really? Well he clearly liked the way my yoga pants fit ever so snuggly and he liked how my t-shirt was just a bit sweaty....

Not only did I not answer his stupid ass question. He's already earned the time-out box award. "Go immediately to the time-out box, do not pass go, do not collect your vodka shots"..... TOOL

Weekend = Wet

2009-09-28T15:41:00.000+01:00

Short, sweet & wet = my weekend

Despite the weather being just bit of a damper, I managed to squeeze in a bit of fun. Nothing to jump up and down about and get excited over, but just enough to wet my taste buds. Thursday night, I went to a chill lounge with chick friends. It wasn’t a party like it’s 1999 time, but I loved the vibe and music and people. I can see me hanging there every Thursday night.

My trip to Philly ended up getting cancelled for Saturday. Despite that small blip, I still went to a friends bon voyage party. She pretty much got trashed and I was the sober one...what can I say. Guess I’m “chilling”.

Yesterday was the movies with Jason. It was cool, our typical movie “un-date”. All in all it was pretty low-key (read: ehhh according to my party standards!!!)

There were no Mr. Henry rendezvous, no new guys, although old one’s try to resurface, i.e. texts from Latino Papi Alex and a call from Island Prince John.

“Kink”end In With Mr. Henry & Other News

2009-09-21T16:49:00.000+01:00

This weekend was low-key. Aside from going to a fight party. I spent the majority of it with Mr. Henry. Ummmm. What can I say? We spent most of the weekend horizontally, taking pictures (rather, him taking pictures of me) and eating & drinking. It kind of felt good...just to lay around. Oh, and some of our conversations were quite interesting.

1. He asked me if I had sex while I was in the Dominican

2. He brought up the phrases “if we get married”, “when we have kids”,

3. I told him “we are not having kids”

4. We talked about taking a trip.

5. He told me about some more of his other kinky fetishes, then proceeded to show me on the computer

6. He asked me if I loved him

In Other News

I talked to Brian for awhile. He’s thinking of coming here the beginning of October. Our last few conversations have been about traveling either to NO, out of the country or here. Nothing is concrete yet.

The next two trips on my agenda: Philly and Michigan

Before I left for the Dominican, Jason and I went to the movies. Afterwards we got ice cream and walked around downtown arm in arm. It was really cute, sort of date-ish, although, it wasn’t a date. But it felt like one. I thought about whether or not I could see myself dating him, and it’s hard to see past the occasional movie date. He’s a bit of a homebody, and doesn’t seem like he would take the initiative to do anything outside of his comfort zone....and oh yea, he’s younger than me by like three years...

El Dominican En Español - No Sexo

2009-09-17T18:30:00.002+01:00

Perfect. The weather was perfect. The resort was a little on the “rustic” side, but hey, I couldn’t beat the price. Who would imagine that I’d go without central AC for five days! It was actually perfect though. I wouldn’t necessarily go back there because it was a time share, however I want to visit the DR again, with different company.

The chick friend I went with was cool, however she was perfectly fine with staying on the resort, the whole vacay, and well, you know me. I like to venture out, make friends, hang with the locals, see things, go on “adventures”!!! I did end up meeting some other vacationers and going out with them my last night there...that was quite interesting to say the least! We seen quite a few “questionable” transactions go down. I danced, drank, had fun with my new friends, not to mention, I think I got propositioned en español a few times!

All in all it was a relaxing vacay. No wild and crazy dancing on the bar or making out with papi-chulo’s, but still a good vacay. I’m planning my next one right now!

Deseo que mi compañía fuera mejor. Quizá la próxima vez que iré con un individuo. Hablé con dos ciertos someone' s que está interesado en volver conmigo. Quizá desde noviembre. También la clase I de deseo tenía sexo. ¡Oh bien!

I Think He Reads My Blog

2009-09-10T14:40:00.001+01:00

I think Mr. Henry reads my blog. Last night he spent the night (btw, he’s still there) and we were fooling around, and he was taking pics of me, yeah I know what I said yesterday. Pictures are different from video footage, it was artistic still photographs! Anyways, he said he wants to format one of them so I can put it on my blog.

(PAUSE)

I told him a long time ago I have a blog and I blog about him, but now I’m wondering if he reads it. If he does, I think he will somewhat approve, because he’s a ~~freak~~. Extrovert.

Updates on Vegas coming. I promise.

2 days until the DR!!!

Fetish Or Just Freaky???

2009-09-09T04:23:00.000+01:00

Disclaimer: This post is not for the faint at heart. End Disclaimer

When do fetishes become...uhhh, not fetishes???

Ok, so I know I am posting this a little backwards. P.O.W and I just got back from Vegas, and while we are still piecing the events together, I have something a little more pressing to get off my chest. Mr. Henry came over last night for a little post-vacation fun. Yes, I know. It's been awhile. Honestly, I don't know what to say. Let's just skip that little detail and get to the issue at hand.

Mr. Henry is a freak. A big ole freaky kinky something. I mean the biggest freak I know next to...next to, well....I'll come back to that. While we are doing the horizontal tango, Mr. Henry tells me what he wants.

Mr. Henry: Spit on me

(PAUSE)

Oh, it wasn't just like spit for greasing the monkey. He wanted me to spit on him everywhere...I mean everywhere. And while I was spitting on him, he wanted me to call him every dirty name in the book. Literally. Like degrading names...oh and he wanted me to slap him. A couple of times he said to slap him harder. Now, I'm not one for punching you in the face during sex-sessions, but...if it turns you on...I guess I'll punch you, I think.

Really though, I was running out of spit, and quite frankly, I was thinking:

"Damn, really you like this? If I knew slapping you brought you such pleasure, there were many of times when I would have slapped the shit out of you for pissing me off. Furthermore, how much spit do you think I have, damn" ---

I digress.

When does a fetish become too freaky to perform? Like there are things I definitely DO NOT WANT you to do to me. Peeing on me, spitting on me and choking me come to mind. I'm all for pleasing, but first it's spitting, next thing you know, you'll want me to help you perform some form of erotic asphyxiation. Uhhh. NO. There comes a time, when lines have to be drawn. Like I don't plan on fulfilling a freaky fantasy if:

1. I could be going to jail for performing a misdemeanor because it got his rocks off

2. If it involves him putting any bodily fluids on me that should be reserved for the porcelain god's.

3. If it involved video cameras, yeah I know I can't run for a high level government position anymore, but still...just in case. I don't want to happen upon my own home video on pornhub.com

4. It involves foreign objects.

I'm sure there are more, but this is all I can think of right now...

In Other News:

3 Days till the DR!!!!!

HELL DATE: Case of the Jolly Green Giant

2009-09-02T14:31:00.001+01:00

I'm not the only one who has had O-M-G dates...a date with the Jolly Green Giant, according to P.O.W.

I’m baaack!!

Diva has asked me to write about one my dating experiences before we hit Vegas!!! I’ve decided to tell you the tale of the day I met George Foreman.

I don’t do blind dates. I always thought hook-ups were scary and un-natural. You might end up spending three horrid hours with somebody like Flavor-Flav or ODB (RIP). Nevertheless, I broke my rule one time and I will never do it again.

I have a friend who has a gorgeous husband. Tall and dark like I like them. He has a good career and he is a wonderful father and husband. They have the life I planned for myself. One day I’m over there for a play date with the kids and the “Gorgeous Husband” asked me if I would like to meet his cousin. I asked all the basic questions. Age? Kids? Career? Extra toes? He was Gorgeous Husband’s first cousin so I’m thinking they may have some kind of resemblance, against my better judgment I agreed to the date.

Cousin called me the day before the date. His voice was somewhat hard to read. It could go either way. He seemed nice enough though. We talked about general things. I was cooking at the time and my George Foreman Grill was acting up (remember this for later). We made plans to meet at his favorite restaurant with flair.

I get there first so I can check out the scene in case I need to flee. He told me he would have on a green jacket. I order an Ultimate Long Island to prepare myself for the worst.

In walks this 6’ 3” person in a Boston Celtics outfit from head to toe, looking like the Jolly Green giant. And when I say head to toe I mean head to toe. Hat, jacket, t-shirt, pants, and shoes. Green. I assume this is not my date because he said green jacket so I continue to drink my drink. Boston Celtic sits down and I almost choke.

I want to pre-warn you. I am usually a very nice person and I don’t like to hurt anyone’s feelings but I’m gonna keep real with yall…He was busted. Tore up from the floor up. A mud duck. A beast. He was cock-eyed, his teeth were yellow and his voice was annoying. He kept laughing at his own jokes. He told me I had the best cleavage in the whole city. He asked me did I think his outfit was fresh. Fresh yall, Fresh. Who does that?

I struggle through the dinner trying to be polite as I could be. At the end, he asked me to meet him at his truck. I’m thinking Hell No! You’re not going to hit me over the head and drag me home. I might wake up dressed like you. No way buddy…but against my better judgment, I went.

He pulls out this big bag from Target. In it is a new George Foreman Grill. He tells me he heard me complaining about mine and figured I could use a new one so I could cook his favorite meal. Okay so most people will say this was a sweet gesture but I felt like it was kinda creepy…who does that?

P.O.W.

Update Continued: Straight No Chaser

2009-09-02T04:09:00.004+01:00

So I know I left you hanging, but well didn't you enjoy my treats? Anyways I have one more in store for you, but let me get this out the way. Straight and to the point. Akeem and my friend exchanged numbers. They were talking most of the night, he was stuck her like white on rice (my mom used to say that...sue me) and I was tipsy and talking to my other friend about it. I honestly don't remember everything I was saying or what I said. I felt some type of way about it though, not jealous or mad...just something. Anywho, at the end of the night, me and him are talking and he asks me why we never hit it off (pause....double pause). I'll leave it at that.

In Other News:

Vegas, Thursday. I so need this like I need a big tall glass of vodka right now. Oh yea, the news broke on twitter first...I talked to Brian last night. Another trip may be on the rise. I won't lie, I miss him like I missed vodka when I went without for 17days... remember that? I was feening for vodka. His birthday is on Monday.

I'm going to the movies with Jason if I don't flake again.

Romantic & Random = A+

2009-09-01T14:17:00.004+01:00

I told you guys I had a few treats for you today. Yes the first one was my guest post over at SSSO. If you haven't checked them out, do so. And my second treat is another guest post right here! Today, I introduce you to Tunde from Like A Dream. He is random, but I love it. And apparently he's a romantic too! ~~(I didn't get the memo until late last night).~~ Maybe I should play cupid and start some love connections!
Enjoy,
Diva
_______________________________________________________

Thanks Diva for allowing me to grace your page with one of my dating experiences.

*** On my blog I write about my dreams or random events that I experience and I rarely blog about my love life. I do this because too many people actually read my blog that know me personally and I’m a little too private for that. When DCDiva asked me to do a guest post I couldn’t turn down the opportunity because I have a myriad of experiences when it comes to dating. ***

While in undergrad I had one consistent girlfriend (Tonya). Our junior year in college my ex wanted us to go this Valentine’s Day ball on campus. I didn’t want to go because ~~I thought that shit was going to be lame~~ I had a surprise in store that I needed to plan for. So I told her the week of Valentine’s Day that I wasn’t going to be able to go and made up some lame excuse. Needless to say she was pissed and called herself not talking to me the entire day of.

Of course her friends were in on my plan. So they told Tonya that they would go with instead to the ball. I know for a fact that during the evening there was a full fledged ~~Tunde~~ male-bashing session. So the whole day I’m running around getting things ready for that night. So after the ball I asked her to come by my house. Of course she was still upset with me till I handed her a 3x5 index card. On in it said: “This is your Valentine’s Day present. Since you didn’t have faith in me you’re going to have to work for it. Now begins the scavenger hunt. First clue: My favorite movie”. I placed her next clue (another card) in the inside of a dvd case of my favorite movie at the time, Se7en. This next clue said: “Man I’m really hungry I should fix myself something to eat.” Her next clue was taped to the inside of the oven door. This went on for about 4 more clues which led her closer and closer to her final destination. She ended up back at her room and found her gifts there (her friends helped me put them there).

Needless to say she felt kind of dumb for bad mouthing me and thinking that I really didn’t have anything planned for Valentine’s Day. Yeah that night I was glad I didn’t have a roommate.

Don't Put A Ring On It!!!

2009-09-01T13:57:00.004+01:00

Wow! There is so much going on, I don't know where to begin? I have a few treats for you, plus 2 days till Vegas! Yea!!!

So recently I had the pleasure (I'm getting a lot of pleasure lately....hmmmm) of gracing the page of Single Sister's Speak Out. If you haven't stopped by there, please do so. The ladies and token gent (just kidding Peyso, you rock) talk about everything from relationships to health, and today is not the day to put a ring on it! (according to my post)

Enjoy and thanks sooooo much Jac.

Diva

Weekend Update: Wedding Bells The Partial Review

2009-08-31T04:57:00.003+01:00

Saturday Night
6 almost 7 glasses of wine
A glass of champagne

DC is getting smaller and smaller. Granted my circle is pretty diverse and I often go to “new” and different events, places and hang out with different people. But I still manage to run into the same people. Case in point. Guess who I ran into on Thursday...Akeem. Ring a bell??? Actually this isn’t my first time running into him, since the infamous “non-date”. I’ve ran into him a few times. Once I didn’t recognize him because he changed his look completely. No, he didn’t do a Michael Jackson, but it was almost akin to an “Extreme Makeover”. I will give it to him though, he looked good pre and post-extreme makeover.

So I ran into him AGAIN this weekend. The only reason, I’m blogging about this run in, is because it was more than a “hi, how are you”. Thursday night we ended up leaving the bar, going to another bar, and I gave him a ride to his humble abode. Upon departure, he gave me a hug, that was a cross between “good to see you and wish you would come up”.

Now Saturday, here's where the shit get's interesting. But before I go into the details of Saturday late night, I have a confession, well not really, cause the news broke on twitter first. I went to a wedding with Mr. Henry. (pause) In my defense, the wedding was of a former client, so I didn't want to go solo. Had it been friends or family, I wouldn't mind. But to sit through a boring wedding and reception without a side-kick, is the equivalent of torture in time-out, in the corner, and by the way the wedding WAS boring.

So going with Mr. Henry made it somewhat bearable. No we aren't falling back into old habits, well atleast I'm trying not to. We talked and caught up, but I would say 64% of the time I zoned out & was in my own world. Can't help it, sometimes he talked about stuff I didn't feel like listening to. I got a text from Akeem during the reception, asking me what I was doing. I told him about my plans to chill because I was at a wedding. So after the reception, I drop Mr. H at the Metro and make my way to what was supposed to be a chill lounge. Some other friends were meeting me there, as well as Akeem.

I get there and it's crowded. Cool but crowded. So my friends make it, and introductions go around. I notice at some point Akeem and one of my friends are sitting EXTREMELY close together, heads bowed in deep conversation...

To Be Continued.... I'm on my second drink and am tired! Yeah, yeah...sue me.

Like Attracts Like

2009-08-28T05:06:00.002+01:00

I like controversy, rather articles that make you think? You can agree to disagree, but my political advisor (I like that!) allowed me to write another article on his blog over at www.bluestoneblog.com. I love the fact that he (Kevin) is allowing me to grace his page. Check it out & start the commentary!!

Diva

A Witness Comes Forward...

2009-08-26T20:52:00.001+01:00

Oh, Diva, Diva, Diva….

How do I love thee, let me count the ways…..you’ve grown into a beautiful, charming, young woman. Perhaps all those vanilla vodkas have blurred a few memories from the past.

I am one of Diva’s college roommates the one who has lived with her the longest and the one, who has settled down, got married, has the two kids, and lives in suburbia. Yes, yes, I do sound boring now and live vicariously through the trials and tribulations of Mz. Diva but I can still cause trouble if deemed needed. I don’t have a fun acronym like PATT or POW, but my feelings aren’t hurt ~~Beeotch~~ much!

Top 5 things I remember from our past…

5. That southern accent! Goodness, when we met it was mighty T H I C K. We used to make her say “iron” all the time because it sounded like “I-on”. I wonder if she’ll share the story about the difference between “hurry up” and “harry up”. Bwahahahahahaha

4. The nakedness….this girl loves to be naked! Don’t let P.O.W. fool you by saying this girl is naked only after drinks because if this child had it her way she’d be naked before happy hour! In our dorm room there have been plenty of times when I’ve woken up with Diva handing the phone to me stark naked.

3. I’ll preface this by saying… "WE WERE NOT GROUPIES”! We did however know a few players on our schools football and basketball team. There was one incident when we ran into a few football players at the local strip club because we were “dared” to go in and ask for a job. Then there was a brief stalker infatuation with a basketball player, Mr. P. Do you still have his YMCA card?

2. She is a “dirty" LOUD mouth talker !!! You can use your imagination on this one, what you’re thinkin’ is what this woman is sayin’. I’ve actually had to leave the HOUSE once or twice.

1. Our threesome! Ok, not really, but let me say being a Wing-woman is hard! Especially when the guy has stank breath and drinks your beer out of your cup. (I could’ve killed him!!!)

There are plenty of other stories that I do have pictures of...Galveston, TX, men washing your feet and sucking your toes, riding motorcycles, being underage and sneaking into clubs. Don’t tempt me; I’ll scan that picture of you wearing underwear as a bikini!

Love,
Breezy

One Year Anniversary - The Rebuttal

2009-08-21T15:30:00.001+01:00

Ok, first let me preface this with “P.O.W. I love you”, but I think you’ve been drinking on the job again! Or maybe you have selective amnesia. In any case, there are good reasons the ~~secrets~~ debauchery you decided to reveal. Case in point, with:

#5. Ummm, I plead the 5th, unless you have pictures of said crime and furthermore I was stressed. The name we shall not mention had me stressed, college life had me stressed, so ok...I consumed like two Boonesfarm's and washed it down with Lord knows what. Why in the hell did you and Breezy let me get on top of my car??? Actually, come to think of it, where were you guys? I don’t recall. In any case that night was pretty fun! And you know what, the roof popped back into place perfectly the next day. So case solved & closed!

Oh but with - #4. I needed some fresh air, so I decided to go outside. And in my defense I was only naked under my blanket. I think you, Chuck & his friend pulled it off as I was clutching it for dear life. But at least I wasn’t the one doing cartwheels down the street naked!

And why, oh why in - #3 Did you bring up the name we shall not mention. The mere thought of him makes me want to puke. I still don’t know why that asshole rented a TV, but he couldn’t go half on food, rent, lights...so glad he got the boot and jail time

Yes #2 from what I recall was lots and lots of fun. But I don’t recall breaking my table or destroying the bathroom. Do you have evidence. Nope? Ok, then it didn’t happen!

Oh boy, I didn’t see the kiss in #1 coming. It was kinda like a “goodnight kiss” or a “birthday kiss” in any case he was a gentleman and didn’t push the envelope too much more. And as for the whole two guys in one bed. I blogged about it. Remember???

Yes, I can’t wait for Vegas either! I started mentally packing this morning!
Diva

One Year Anniversary - The Take Over

2009-08-20T22:46:00.005+01:00

Introducing P.O.W…..

For those of you that do not know me, I am P.O.W, Diva’s BFF. I want to take this opportunity to thank you, Diva, for being such a caring, giving, loving and understanding BFF. I don’t think I could have made it this far without you.

Anyway, I am taking over Diva’s Blogspot to celebrate her One Year Blogoversary. Yes, can you believe it? It has been one year since Diva first graced us with her witty commentary and horrid dates. This year has been filled with highs, lows, smiles, cries, joys and toolery. We all have our favorite Diva moments, but I’m going to share some moments Diva did not share with you….and Diva you better post them. DO NOT EDIT!!!!!

P.O.W.’s Top Five Most Memorable Diva Moments

5. August 2001, Divaland University, The Case of the Vandalized Car

Diva got extremely inebriated and danced on the roof of her car at a neighborhood block party. The next morning she is screaming and yelling about somebody vandalizing her car. We politely told her "you did it, don't you remember"? To this day, she still doesn’t believe she was the cause of the butt print indent in her roof.

Oh yeah, and I think we made up a drunk song that night!

4. July 2001 Detroit, MI, Happy Birthday to Me!!!

There was a lot of debauchery going on for my 21st birthday. After playing truth or dare, and tons of Bacardi, I can’t find Diva so I go looking for her. She’s on the porch, "buckkid nekkid". Why? I don’t know. You have to ask her that question, but also remember I woke up at 7am looking for the liquor trying to erase the memory of the sins from the night before.

3. October 2001 Divaland University, Three Strikes You’re Out

Diva has an ex-boyfriend whose name we shall not mention. We all have a relationship that we would rather forget, a momentary lapse in judgment. This guy was Diva’s lapse. Diva and I lived in a town house with another roommate, I’ll call her Breezy. “The name we shall not mention” moved in with us (1st strike). He didn’t have a job (2nd strike). He had a big screen TV that he rented from Rent-a-Center (how & why I don't know) we kept in the living room. One day while Diva was at work, Breezy and I were watching TV. TNWSNM came in and turned the channel (3rd strike). He made a big deal about it being HIS television. Breezy politely unplugged the TV and pushed all 52’ inches on to the patio. She told him to see how well he watched his TV on the corner.

I don't remember what happened after that, but this was the same guy Diva & Breezy tried to collect the "reward" money on a month or so later. Rightfully so, I might add!

2. September 2008, Washington D.C. - Sour Sauce

Diva and I went on a double date with Island Prince and his friend Willard. It was a beautiful date with lots of food, liquor, and dancing. Anytime liquor is involved, we either don’t remember or wish we couldn’t remember what happened the next day. This time was no exception.

Somehow, Diva’s bedside table got broke and her bathroom was destroyed *cough islandprince&diva cough*. It must have been an incredible evening because the boys woke up the next day cooking and cleaning!

1. Later, September 2008, NYC - Smooches

Diva spends the evening with Island Prince in New York. That night IP’s brother kisses her. She wakes up with two men in her bed….I’ll let her tell the rest

Love ya Diva!!!! Can't wait for Vegas...

P.O.W

36 Hours in Boston, Semi-Date, Convo's With Brian

2009-08-18T03:01:00.005+01:00

I'm drinking and blogging. The two don't mix, but I need to give my updates.

Made it back from Boston in one piece. Boston, Boston. I didn't see much of it. More on that tomorrow. What I really want to blog about is my conversation with Brian. Ummm. We talked for a lil over thirty minutes. I called him. We talked about Vegas, things to do there, and how he just brought his ticket to go home that weekend. My trip to Boston, N.O., his birthday, my birthday (he extended an invite to N.O. if I don't do Cancun, said I would like it) his new drinking buddy (the flask), other upcoming things.

(Side Note: I had two margarita's & a homemade vodka, lemon juice & peach schnapps, I hope I don't read this tomorrow & be like WTF: End Side Note)

Here are our e-mail exchanges from last week (uneditied):

E-mail (Diva to Brian)

No e-mail, no call, text, flair messages??? You suck ass, ass munch... How are you?

E-Mail (Brian to Diva)

My bad! How are you?? I did think of texting you to let you know the flask has become my new road buddy. Meaning fillinf her up and making drinks in N.O before I go out. So how was DC when all my Bruhs were there?

Response (Diva to Brian)

I'm cool. I'm going to Boston on Friday. I went out to one of your sponsored events (Bruhs) one night, but for the most part I did other stuff. Went to Z-bar one night...those dudes are aggressive. Someone tried to lick my face...eeewwww I applied for a couple of International gigs. One is a 9-month assignment in Africa, Jamaica, Asia, Mexico or Brazil the other is a 5 week volunteer thing, the thing I told you about! In any case cross your fingers for me!

I think you should name your new flask?

Have you met any cool peeps to hang with?

If you wanna join me & my BFF in Vegas, the offer is still opened. The 3rd-6th of September. Party like a rock star!!! (well atleast I plan on it, you know how I roll)

Response (Brian to Diva)

FUCK I so forgot abt the Vegas trip. I so Could of gone bc I am going home during that time;-( Well party for me. Yes, my Bruhs can be a hand full at times. I hope things work out for you and maybe you will get the Jamaica one ;-) I know how you like that place.

In Other News
I went on a semi-date yesterday. We worked out...literally. A mile & half of jogging, a mile & a half of walking, push-ups & running stairs.

In Other, Other News
Do Not Answer, aka Brooklyn sent me a text apologizing for acting weird. He blamed it on the alcohol. Then he called me three times. I did not answer, nor return the text

Signs of Stalkery Crazy People - Do Not Answer

2009-08-14T14:37:00.000+01:00

6 Signs of Crazy ---- (This means you Brooklyn)

1. If he/she calls you four times in one day: Brooklyn called me four times yesterday. The first two times I was out & about & didn’t answer. I called him back to see what he wanted. He was just calling to say “hey” he said & to see if I wanted to meet up because he was in the area. After explaining to him that I was hanging with the chick friends, and then will be out of town, he was like “Oh”. Fast-forward about five hours later. Just as I’m getting home after my semi-bar crawl, he calls. I answer. The conversation. OMG. Words can’t describe it (in a BAD way). I get off the phone with him. He calls me back 3 minutes later. WTF dude?

2. He/She looks you up on Facebook, can’t find you & tells you he/she looked you up: Ok. I heart Google. I will do my research on a guy in a minute if I feel the need to do so. However, I am not going to “admit” “friend” or stalk said guy through social networks.

Brooklyn: I looked you up on FB but couldn’t find you?
Me: (I don’t want to be found idiot) Ummm, I don’t go by my last name.
Brooklyn: I used your e-mail address too
Me: That’s not the e-mail address I use for that account

3. If he/she talks about marriage excessively within the first 10 conversations: Not only did Brooklyn talk about marriage, he used the words “us”, “we”, “kids” in sentences.

Brooklyn: I really want to get married.
Me: (silence is golden)
Brooklyn: Don’t you wanna get married? I can see “us” having our two kids together
Me: (WTF)
Brooklyn: I’m really feeling you, if you like someone what’s the worst that could happen

Pump your breaks little one. I don’t know you. I don’t know your last name. I just channeled my inner psychic capabilities, and you did not appear in my future! Sorry.

4. He/She talks EXCESSIVELY about how much they like you in the 1st, 2nd, 3rd conversation: Red flag. Ok, they could be trying to get into your panties (boxers if you’re a guy) so they think flattery works. Wrong. Yes, I love compliments, but when you get too excessive with it, I start to zone out. Furthermore, that does not work with me. You loose cool points.

Brooklyn: I don’t know what it is, but I’m really feelin' you
Me: Thanks
Brooklyn: No, really. You’re smart, attractive, mysterious. Like I wanna know everything about you.
Me: (Pause, on twitter)
Brooklyn: You’re different from girls I’ve dealt with in the past
Me: (Twitter is addictive)
Brooklyn: I really really like you. You’re gonna be my future wife
Me: (#WDDDA)

5. He/She tries to tell you woe are me stories: Do not, do not talk about how bad you got it, how hard it is for you, nor about ex relationships. I don’t ask, therefore I do not want to hear it. Brooklyn started out good the first couple of times we talked, but then it just went down, down, down hill. He basically committed involuntary suicide.

6. He/She should not ask you to move in with you: Runnnnnnnnnn. Words can’t express it. I don’t know where to begin with this portion of the convo. Needless to say, Brooklyn went from saying we should move in together, to I’ll pay you to sleep on your couch. This is where I had to end the convo.

Me: I do not know you like that
Me: I don’t need a roommate, nor am I looking for one
Me: Deuces

He is forever known as do not answer

Thank God he doesn’t know where I live, what I drive & where I work. Fucking crazy ass.

TMI Brooklyn...You Want To Marry Me???

2009-08-13T14:24:00.002+01:00

His name will be Brooklyn. I know I'm breaking my own rule when it comes to the names, but he is the most "Brooklyn" guy I have ever met. He's the epitome of what Brooklyn stands for, in my opinion. I was going to blog about him yesterday and talk about how he was a cool guy, and we had great conversations, however...Brooklyn is something else. After last night’s convo, I don’t know what to think. He’s still nice, but I wonder if he’s putting it all out there too soon? We are on conversation tres.

He made it very very very clear he wants to get married (pause). He’s only 25. Is it just me? Am I the only one who thinks getting married in your 20’s is too young? Hell in some cases early 30’s. Not to put a time limit on it, but I know I won’t be ready for at least another four to five years (still in my twenties for five more months!!!)

What about you?

He's Wearing Eau de Desperate

2009-08-10T20:31:00.000+01:00

Saturday night, while on my around the city club tour, I met this guy "Jim". He was cool at first. Until we chatted for a min. He was laying on the compliments...really thick. Kind of like a layer of peanut butter. Anyways, he asked for my number. I really didn't think nothing of it. Now and days asking for numbers is equivalent to "making sure I still got it". And let's be honest, I'm good at stroking ego's as well....so anyways. Same night about 3:00am, Jim sends me a text.

Jim: What are you doing? I'm hungry, wanna grab breakfast?
Me: No. I'm going to bed. Call me tomorrow

(We know what this call was, right class?)

Fast forward to this morning. Jim sends me a morning text, wanting to know when we can see each other. I say I don't know, call me later. He calls. Short & to the point:

(after 3 seconds of pleasantries)
Jim: I want to see you.
Me: Uhhh, today? I'm busy.
Jim: Today, tomorrow, soon
Me: Well, maybe we can meet for coffee or something at Starbucks after my appointment.
Jim: Oh, I was gonna pick you up & bring you back to my place
Me: No.

I think the name of his cologne is Eau de Desperate.

The Weekend Update: March of the Penguins

2009-08-10T14:41:00.001+01:00

Sorry for slacking on the updates, but I’m so used to writing twits in 140 characters or less, writing a blog seems like writing a novel right now! In any case, I had a good weekend (with the exception of yesterday, yesterday was a beast). Here’s the weekend review in no particular order...

7. Well since I fell of the pink sexy wagon on Thursday, I decided to go hard Friday & Saturday.
Friday = 5 glasses of wine, 2 Amstel Lights, 1 shot
Saturday = 4 Red Bull & vodka’s, 1 vanilla Stoli & lime, 1 Rum Runner

6. Friday was mostly chilling with the chick friends. Started off on U, went to NY Ave. Ended up back on U. Started at 6, didn’t get home till 2:30...I’m surprised I made it. Saturday was club hopping. Three clubs+ one night=good times.

5. I still don’t understand why guys continue to wear sunglasses in the clubs. Guess they didn’t get the “you are lame if you wear sunglasses in the club” memo.

4. I’ve been meeting a lot of guys from Brooklyn lately. Three things I noticed. (1) the migration from Brooklyn to DC. I feel like it’s equivalent to the march of the penguins. Like really. I’ve met like 30 guys from Brooklyn this weekend. Ok maybe not 30... (2). They talk a good game (3) Shy is not in their vocabulary. I met this young guy from Brooklyn two weeks ago. I told him he was too young for me. He was a persistent little something. He stroked my ego and was like, “what, you’re only like 23 or 24 right?”...talked my number right out of my hand, and I was sober!

3. I had to twit about this Saturday night. This guy tried to lick my face. Did I miss something. Is licking faces the new “in” thing?

2. This was the week/weekend Brian was supposed to be in town. I deleted his number after the last time I talked to him, so I never called to see if he was still coming. Saturday, I went to one of “our” spots we used to frequent for the first time since his departure. It was kind of weird, because I used to go there with him all the time. I almost expected him to pop up and start his “so you think you can dance” antics.

1. I start my string of vacations...first up Boston, Friday. Can’t wait. Boston get ready!

The Wagon

2009-08-07T13:55:00.000+01:00

5 Glasses of Red Wine
1 Shot

That’s how I fell off the wagon after 17 and a half days. Oh well. Now that I’m off. I’m going to happy hour again tonight.

I have something else to tell you. I feel like I’m robbing the cradle. More on that later.

The Weekend Update: I Suck

2009-08-04T14:38:00.001+01:00

So this post was supposed to happen yesterday but I’m addicted to twitter (follow me), so I did nothing. I suck. The weekend was cool. No dancing on bars since I’m not engaging in my favorite pastime. Day 16 no vodka. I’m really serious about rocking my bikini’s in the DR (this one, this one & this one). Last week I started running. No vodka. No soda. No juice. Just water, club soda or green tea (although I slipped & had cranberry juice when I was clubbing...just a buffer between me and the vodka, that’s all)

Speaking of going out, Friday I was supposed to go out with Latino Papi Alex. I really didn’t feel like it, so I decided to make plans 1) knowing he hadn’t sent flair messages by Friday morning. 2) I know he’s flakey, and 3) he probably has a girlfriend. Yep. He only sends text messages. No calls.

His m.o. is trying to keep the lines of communication open by sending me “Mami, I miss you messages” (probably mass text messages) weekly, then once he gets a response, setting something up to make it seem like he’s so interested. Little does he know, that Sprint has this little online feature. I can now block numbers I don’t want to receive text messages from, yea for Sprint! (I’ll be on there this week entering phone numbers) So anyways, back to Friday.

I made plans with some chick friends. We went bar hoping, then I met another chick friend on U Street, for this waaayyy cool “world beat” party. Everyone from every nationality was there. It was SO amazing. It was like an underground we are the world lets all hug and be friends kind of place. Although it began to feel like you were walking into a hot box after awhile, it was so much fun. I danced so much my dress was soaking wet by the time I made it home. Good times. Oh, and there were some absolutely gorgeous guys there.

Saturday I had to take care of business. Latino Papi Alex sent me text messages. “you forgot mami”. Ummm, no idiot, you forgot. I was extremely tired, but I received an invite to hang on U street again by a couple of different people. I went to one spot. Scoped it out, then decided, to bounce. Ummm, was feeling blah.

Sunday Devin & I hung out for a bit on U Street (noticing a theme here). We had a good time.

This weeks agenda...TBD.

In Other News:

Not to rain on your parade, but I have to be a good Diva & keep you informed. Yesterday I came across this: New HIV Strain Found. Wrap it up people.

What Exactly Is Dating?

2009-08-01T16:56:00.003+01:00

I had the pleasure of writing an article over at Bluestone Blog again! This time I tackled the ever elusive definitions of dating. Be sure to check it out and check out Kevin's pov on the latest in politics & social injustice's.

Diva

Tonight & Randomness

2009-07-31T16:13:00.006+01:00

Tonight I sort of have a dinner date with Latino Papi Alex. I'm not really in the mood for it. We confirmed on Wednesday, but really, we don't talk and I'm just so tired of the whole "Mami I miss you, I want to see you chula". "You're always so busy Mami"...

In fact, I've been kinda bored with a lot of stuff lately. Maybe it's my self-diagnosed ADD or the 4 year itch, but I'm bored with DC.

Side Note: POW says I never stay in the same place long enough, and my G-ma, says I need to settle down...did I mention she's on Facebook now and requested me as a friend? Signs that Facebook is not the "In" thing anymore. Still need to close my account :End Side Note

I went to a psychic this week (first time ever) and she scared the shit out of me. 1) she was really really aggressive and 2) she seemed to be a little "off" on her predictions....although she did say she sees me in Europe somewhere, maybe Paris... (I did not mention travel to her)

Last night I came across an old e-mail (I save most of my e-mails) I sent to Mr. Henry over two years ago when we were living together. I seen him the other day for about 5 minutes because he's been down and out. I DO NOT miss him.

I got invited to more open bars tonight by some friends. I think I'm going to cave in and get "tipsy" tonight...today thus far, makes Day 12 no alcohol.

Weekend Update: I Surprised Myself

2009-07-27T15:47:00.001+01:00

Wow. Just wow. Today is day 8 of no vodka. I must say, I'm really quite proud of myself. I might reward myself with something special...like vodka. I went out Friday with Devin. First we went to this little jazz spot. We're sitting at the table, and he orders a drink he's quite proud of. He asks me if I want to taste it. I decline, then he nearly forces it down my throat (peer pressure). And you know what? I said ~~fuck~~ NO! Ohhh, but I wanted some. After we left the jazz spot we went and smoked hookah for a few hours. You know what goes well with hookah? Vodka. Yep, you can pair vodka with about anything. So we're sitting there smoking, talking. He's drinking, and I came so close to ordering a glass of red wine, a shot of vodka...vodka and wine together, but I didn't. We hung out the whole evening and I did well. I deserve something.

Saturday was even better. I ended up meeting P.A.T.T out, there was an open bar. Free top shelf whatever you wanted. Free. Totally f-r-e-e. I resisted. Damn, I'm good. And I'll be even better in six and a half weeks when I'm looking hot in my two piece on the beach. Speaking of P.A.T.T, the convo between us has improved. It's been strained the last month or so, but it's gotten better. Not like it used to be, but better.

Sunday was relaxing. I talked to Brian. Our first conversation since the "e-mail". We talked for almost half-an hour. Just like nothing ever happened. It was like I took a little vacation, got back, and we picked up right where we left off. Sunday must have that effect on people, because I spoke with Mr. Henry as well. Pretty much our first conversation in a month too.

Tonight's agenda...salsa.

Day 4: No Vodka

2009-07-23T16:14:00.002+01:00

8. I’m giving up drinking for ____ days (TBD). Today makes day 4 of no alcohol what-so-ever. It’s hard. Everything involves vodka. Happy hour, bars, clubs, doing laundry, watching a movie, nightcaps. I see vodka everywhere. One of my friends invited me to an open bar, with none other than vodka! Ummm, the only reason I’m temporarily giving up my favorite side-kick is so I can rock my two piece in the DR. The upside is I’ll save money, and hopefully lower my tolerance level to like 4 drinks a night, rather than 7. The downside...I can’t imagine life without my friend.

7. Brian will be here in 3 weeks...before the “e-mail” he asked if he could stay with me that weekend. Ummmm, well we know that’s out the window. What will be weird is running into him, or seeing him. Like we’ve texted and e-mailed since the “e-mail”. All very basic and general stuff though. No phone conversations.

6. I briefly spoke to Mr. Henry...

5. I’m going out tomorrow night with Devin...

4. Mr. Lame-o from Saturday was someone I met awhile ago. He keeps texting me. I’m trying to be nice, but....ehhhh

3. Boston in 3 weeks!

2. Vegas in 6 weeks!

1. The DR in 7 weeks!

200th Post The Swap: Gross Generalizations I Know

2009-07-21T14:44:00.005+01:00

Today is the 200th post here and it's time to shake things up. I want to introduce you to a non PC, single black male dater in the DC area. He's a straight shooter, who blogs about everything from sex to movies, to the do's & maybe nots of fwb relationships. He proves to us, that women aren't the only one's who suffer through horrible, someone please come save me dates. I bring to you, Dr. J of The Book of Jackson.

Gross Generalizations I Know by Dr. J

Decided to do a blog swap this week and let Diva take the reins over at TBJ and I would do something on her blog. It never gets boring, but sometimes we all need a change of pace. So this seemed like a viable solution, anyway I'm glad I was able to stop through and show some love.

I am often accused of being bougie, I still don’t know what that means. Most times it’s used to describe my actions, or my insisting on doing things that are probably unnecessary to them, but are necessary to me. An example would be, I go out to eat a lot, sometimes by myself, I will put my entire evening on hold to have a sit down meal because I do not like to rush when eating. I also think places like Chili’s, Friday’s, Ruby Tuesday’s, etc. should never be the location of any meal that I’m having alone or with the company of a young lady. It’s just so common.

I should have known that Never Again and I were not compatible from the beginning because of the circumstances of which I came to meet her. I met her; 1) At a club, 2) I was drunk, 3) She kept asking me for my statistics, and 4) She was wearing a body suit, maybe cat suit is more appropriate. I decided to take the girl out because I’m not really good with phone conversations, so I suggest a weekday evening, at a small off the strip type place called, Perry’s. BEFORE, we went there, I told her, this is one of my sushi spots and I come here often because I know a lot of the staff and they know exactly what I like. (You see how I gave her a clue that this establishment and me already had an existing relationship?) BEFORE, we went there, against my better judgment I told her a lot about the place and the clientele because I’ve been on a few dates lately where the shorty was just tremendously inappropriately dressed or didn’t know what to expect. So I basically was like, it’s a rooftop jumpoff with a young, hip, typical Adams Morgan crowd. BEFORE, we get there I told her that although I usually am seated as soon as I arrive, I’m making reservations that way there will be no need to wait, and I’m making them for 8PM.

FFWD: At 8:15PM, I send her a text that says, “Did you fall in?” She replies, “LOL, no I’m heading out now. I’ll be there in 15 minutes.” (Dique.) To myself, I’m like plus you have to find parking, plus you’ve never been here before and it’s not easy to find. You’ll be here at 9PM. But I’m like, nah chill Doc, you’ve been told a lot lately that you need to chill on your expectations that females be on time. She shows up at 9PM… She has on an Ed Hardy tee shirt, and like a dress that looked like overalls, and a pair of pumps. I thought that perhaps she planned on going to Love afterwards. I’m already on edge, but I’m patient.

During our meal and conversation, here are the highlights;
1) She has no clue or interest about politics. If Obama was not Black she probably wouldn’t know anyone who was running for President.
2) She hates how people act all “bougie” and stuck up when they come to places like the place we were at. (I think by bougie she meant speaking in a low voice because only the people at your table need to hear you.)
3) She kept ordering Crown Royal because she couldn’t figure out any of the other specialty drinks and she didn’t want anyone putting anything in her drink.
4) She insisted that we check out Evolve after because they have tight music and she knows a couple of the guys who promote there. (It’s a weekday and I’m in a shirt and tie. No bueno)

I took away a few things from this encounter. Gross generalizations I know… if you want to be treated with respect, be respectable. She was well mannered and very appreciative for everything, but she just didn’t get it. It’s like she missed the bus and it won’t be back for a long time. (Sidenote, one of my friends insisted that the issue was she was from PG County and not Mont. County where girls with class live.) Be on time, be appropriately dressed, adhere to some social norms, and most of all feel out the temperament of the person you are with before jumping off the deep end. Her biggest weakness in all of this was that she kept telling me I was acting bougie and reserved and she never noticed that maybe that’s how I am, and the rest of the restaurant was too. She stood out so much to the point that the next time I went to Perry’s as soon as I walked in the manager was like, “Who was that you came here with the last time?!”

And you know I started dreading that meal and the fact that I’d have to pay for it at 8:15PM, and she did nothing to pull herself from the hole that she had dug. Leaving that date, I had no interest in pursuing anything else with her. What I will tell you is that, I could write a book on the amount of bad dates I’ve had exactly like this one. And lastly, the problems expressed in this post, are recurring problems with several of the dates. This should be a topic for the next, For Sisters Only concert at the Convention Center.

The Weekend Update: Sexpectations...

2009-07-20T19:22:00.004+01:00

After 6 weeks of not having any sexual stimulation (besides my weekly visits to pornhub) I had (safe) sex on Saturday. Let me re-phrase that, I had safe wack sex on Saturday. It was so wack I was mad. It was so wack, I contemplated all of the things I could have done. It was so über wack, after I kicked him out, I was up pondering what it is I want (from the male homo-sapien species). I always come back to the same conclusion. I want Great (AMAZING) monogamous safe sex, with someone who is hot, with occasional exchanges of witty banter and some chemistry, without the emotional attachment (right now), oh and to go out occasionally and that’s it. It’s possible. I’ve done it before. I recall some amazing times in college, and a few not too long ago. I don’t think I’m asking for too much (ok, maybe a little, but still). I just can’t do the emotional thing right now. I really can’t.

Yes, I know, it’s a slippery slippery slope, but there are things not related to dating, that I need to work on, and if I add developing a ball & chain relationship to the stack, well it just doesn’t sound appealing nor does it work in my favor. See I have a list of things I want to do, and I can’t really do these things AND develop something special and exciting with a potential...but am I supposed to suffer sexually, for wanting to work on my life??? Like isn’t it enough I hate my part-time job (yes, I know, I only have to suffer 25 hours a week, but they are the longest 25 hours ever). Isn’t it enough I’m trying to work on my business endeavors, apply to grad school, work on myself, and figure out how to take off for a year and travel...

Lack of good sex + lack of job satisfaction+ saving + working on business and career goals+balancing a social life+ trying to apply to grad school + working on me = MADNESS

No sex??? That’s like punishment on top of punishment.

Side Note: I did the celibate thing on and off (the longest 13 months), and the quantitative results are still the same, sexually frustrated(End Side Note).

So I need something else to look forward to besides my upcoming trips and scheduled fun (the countdown begins). Lack of sex, un-happy with job, still trying to figure out direction of businesses, and career....well that just sounds like semi-hell, and I don’t wanna participate anymore (besides great sex is a good stress reliever). This form of punishment reminds me of the days my mom would ban me from the TV and phone. Isn’t it enough that you already banned me from the TV, and now you want to take my only way of communicating with the outside world away??? Yes, although I always found ways around it (light up phones worked well in the dark once you turned the ringer off), but still, it was a psychological punishment that worked, ok I digress...

Back to this sexual “relationship”... it’s a bit of a conundrum. I guess I’ll head to the toy store until I can find a suitable solution...

In Other News:
The other days that made up my weekend weren’t soooo bad. Thursday...I can’t remember, I’m sure it involved vodka. Friday involved wine & vodka, a cool lounge in Adams Morgan & meeting three guys. Two of the three were cool. Let’s skip the details on Saturday’s debauchery...and Sunday was business stuff. Devin and I were going to meet up, but we didn’t. Oh, Brian & I exchanged a few text messages and an e-mail...

I need a vacation...I can’t wait for my first trip...Boston get ready!

Dating Is Mostly About Probability

2009-07-15T13:42:00.005+01:00

KBB also know as Kevin, was gracious enough to allow me to write a piece for his blog at Bluestone Blog. Kevin blogs insight-fully about current issues such as politics and social injustices affecting us in today's society.

The first of my series (of hopefully many) is about the probability of dating. Check the article out!

Thanks.

Diva

Mr. Henry Is Funny...

2009-07-14T19:40:00.003+01:00

See I knew this would happen. Remember a few weeks ago when I went on my e-mailing spree? Well I sent Mr. Henry a piece of my mind...and well he never called, text'd or e-mailed me (Brian at least had the decency to respond by e-mail & text).

Not less than 5 minutes ago, this fool, just called me, because he needs a "favor". Now I didn't bring up said e-mail. Or the fact that it's going on 3 weeks since we talked. Or the fact that he's only calling because he wants something. I took a long breath, told him I'm getting ready for my afternoon nap, and I'll talk to him later. (Of course with no promises of "helping him out").

Side Note: I'm working on being one with the Universe....or something like that. So no arguing or stress. End Side Note

Weekend: Short & Sweet

2009-07-13T14:10:00.002+01:00

1. Pigs must have flown, it snowed in hell, so everyone got ice water and lemonade....oh and lightening struck...multiple times. I stayed in Friday and Saturday night, don’t worry I checked my temperature...in my defense, I did go out Wednesday and Thursday night!

2. I received a random text Saturday night, and well I almost (almost) wish he didn’t text me.

3. I went to the movies with Jason on Sunday. We seen the Proposal. We had a great time. He’s such a “good guy”.

That’s all, no further updates.

P.S. Oh and Devin slept on the couch on Saturday night.

Technically, It Wasn't A Date...

2009-07-09T17:54:00.001+01:00

So I am supposed to go out tonight with this guy who has been bugging me about hanging out. I’ve been avoiding him for about a year now. See the thing is, he lives in my neighborhood. The phrase “don’t shit where you sleep” or something like that comes to mind. The fact that he lives six houses down is not sexy. No bueno. Monday, when I was leaving my place, he cornered me and asked me out again. Me being in a rush and not focusing on the task at hand agreed. Now I have to cancel.

In Other News

There was an Old Man sighting last night. I don’t think he seen me ~~I was trying to be incognito~~. I know, I know. I should have just said hi, but then he’d ask me who I was with (a much younger man) and I just didn’t feel like going through the motions....so I avoided him.

The guy from the other day ~~I still don’t know his name~~ has been keeping in touch. Last night after hanging with some chick friends for a birthday celebration, I met him ~~no name~~ out.

Side Note: When the waitress asked to see his ID, I tried to do the "Oh, let me see", so I could peek at his name...didn't work

We went to the salsa spot (where I ran into the Old Man), then we went and had dessert. Things were better, but then again, I WAS on my 6th ~~or 7th~~ vanilla vodka and lime. At the end of the night, he dropped me off ~~and gave me a kiss~~.

The Randomness That Is Me...

2009-07-08T17:24:00.003+01:00

Ummm, so, recently Shawn & Tunde have tagged me in their blogs (wanting to know all my secrets & stuff)...and of course I had to be the difficult one, and not play along (did I mention I hate those forwards!!!). But since I LOVE them both, I decided to oblige them in my own Diva way. Here’s the randomness in no particular order.

10. The last time I laughed was this morning. POW’s co-workers brought her a gift certificate to a wig shop...that was so f’n hilarious to me. I wish she would start a blog, cause she is pure comedy

9. A little over two years ago, Mr. Henry and I went out. It was one of those nights, you go out and KNOW you are going to have a good time. Weather is perfect, outfit is perfect, mood is perfect. As soon as we got to the club (H2O), we ordered drinks from our favorite bartender in the little white room. The music is banging and Mr. Henry and I are dancing. I decide to pull a little SEXY move for him, and I drop it like it’s hot, and slowly work my way back up......my pants split, right down the crack, showing all of my goodies, and my little black thong...don’t remember how I made it out of there, lol

8. I’ve “fallen asleep” in the club once....ok, not really fell asleep per se, I was passed out on the couch...PATT woke me up

7. Artist that are always on repeat in my mp3 player are: Maxwell, Prince, Erykah Badu, Common, Mos Def and the Fugee’s and I love, love, love Reggae, Dancehall, & Reggaeton

6. If I were to get a dog, it would be a Pug. Everyone keeps telling me they have sooo many health problems....but they are so ugly, they are CUTE. I just am not the one to pick up dog poo and walk the dog, like a million times a day...

5. I love a GOOD passionate sex scene in a movie...the kind that makes you cross your legs and look around the theater. Love Jones comes to mind...

4. In college my roommate(s) & I found ourselves at a strip club by accident. We seen this girl from our dorm room who became a stripper. I don’t know who was more embarrassed, me or her...

3. The first time I got drunk was my freshmen year in college. We were playing questions. Since I was the “prude” in the group, I had to keep taking shots. I never looked at Bacardi Limon the same

2. I can’t decide whether or not I like the convertible BMW 328I or a convertible Mustang more. They are both sexy in their own way, but the Mustang has more power (yea, random)

1. If I were stranded on a deserted island with 4 people I’d want it to be: The President (someone’s bound to be looking for him), POW (she cracks me up), my Mom (although she talks ALOT, I still love her), a hot sexy boy toy to fulfill all of my island fantasies...

Bonus: When Brian and I were in Jamaica, we were at a sing along piano bar cracking up at people attempting to do karaoke. Before we left I decided to go to the ladies room. When I get back, the hostess makes an announcement and wishes me a happy birthday (my birthday, it was not). She then drags me on stage, kicking and screaming (while Brian grabs my other arm), and they both attempt to make me sing Little Red Corvette, by Prince (they know I heart him). I’m on stage throwing Brian dirty looks, vowing to get him back before our vacation is up....all the while, he is cracking up, at my vodka induced rendition of Little Red Corvette...

Tell me something about you...

Since You Asked...

2009-07-08T03:06:00.004+01:00

Hmmm. This was a bit long to post in the comment section. It's my response to Anonymous's comment below.

Anonymous said...
Maybe it was just you. Im noticing a trend in your dates. Can you guess what the common denominator is?

Well Anon,

Maybe it was me, but if it was, why did HE text me and say he had a good time and wants to do it again. If it's not there, it's not there.

I notice a trend of Anonymous people trying to impart their wisdom on blogs. I DO appreciate your comment(s), but you should elaborate and impart you infinite wisdom upon me...really...really... I'm waiting.

Of course, anyone who follows my blog, and who reads ALL of my posts knows that I blog about my dating experiences in Washington DC, hence the title DC Dating Adventures. If I wanted to blog about other peoples adventures in dating, I would have named it as such, so yes, I blog about MY dates, hence the common denominator is ME....I'm not blogging about yours...

In my blog, I do not male bash, nor say I have some secret infinite knowledge on sex, love and relationships. I do not blog and say I am looking for a husband, or long term significant other (at this point), nor do I blog and create a long list of unheard of and quite frankly stupid deal-breakers. My blog serves the purpose of posting about the funny, not so funny and just downright "I can't believe that happened" of my dating life. It's my online diary so to speak, and I go back and read past posts and comments often just to see if I could have done anything different, or looked at the situation differently (Brian comes to mind).

Anonymous, if you read my blog from the beginning to the end, you will see that I'm open to race, age, educational background, career background, and more than enough idiosyncrasies, that guys I date tend to have. I often give guys another chance (and another) to see if it really is there (Mr. Henry & Tony come to mind) and I often try to see beyond the person on the outside and look at the core (The Old Man comes to mind). No one is perfect, I sure never claimed to be.

As my Dad once said you may have to kiss 1,000 frogs before you find your Prince (as well as not to put all my eggs in one basket), so therefore I'm not jaded or delusional about dating.

I have quirks, just as everyone does, but more times than not, the guys I date just aren't for me. I don't think I'm asking for much when I want someone who can make me laugh, or who is intelligent and can hold a conversation, and hasn't JUST been released from jail. I'm not asking for much when I want someone who doesn't live at home with their momma, or has multiple kids. I'm not asking for much when I want to go on a first date with a guy who doesn't think it's cool to get drunk. I'm not asking for much when I want to date someone who is not married or engaged or seperated, but not divorced.

I've always said on my blog and in comments of other peoples blogs that Chemistry is extremely important to me. I don't care if the guys I date went to a particular school over another, nor do I care about the job they have or the car they drive, or whether or not they are wearing the latest and greatest from Armani Exchange or another sweatshop clothing line.

See the thing is Anonymous, I'm pretty grounded and laid back. I know who I am, and am still adding to it. I'm working on me, while simultaneously being an entrepreneur, volunteer, and having fun. I'm digging within my true core to determine what makes ME happy, while developing my communication skills with friends and family. I'm constantly reading, researching, and improving my skills, whether it be in the bedroom or the boardroom. I know my faults and I work on the outer and the inner on a DAILY basis and I would hope that everyone does the same and never settles for mediocrity.

Let me impart a bit of knowledge on you Anonymous, since I am in the giving mood.... CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE, CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

Thanks, that's all.

My Date, In A Nutshell, It Was Boring...

2009-07-06T18:39:00.000+01:00

Dates should not be boring. Let me repeat that: DATES SHOULD NOT BE BORING. I went on a date yesterday with this guy. We met at the National Zoo, walked around, talked, walked around, talked. Then I was SO over running, screaming kid banshees and cool animals that could care less about the gawkers. We left and I could have went home at this point. The conversation was very...blah. He suggested we go for ice cream. We get to Coldstone and they are closed. I suggest we go to Alero for a drink. We get there, and I excuse myself to go to the ladies room. While waiting for the person already in there to come out, I see A BIG ASS RAT RUN IN THE KITCHEN, ok, well it wasn’t that big, but when I can see something running around in circles, in the kitchen/stockroom/restaurant, I’m out, like, like (insert phrase here)... ~~I RAN OUT AND TOLD HIM WE HAD TO GET THE FUCK OUT ASAP~~

(Side Note: For my DC folks, do not go to Alero in Cleveland Park: End side Note)

We finally found a frozen yoghurt spot, and by this time I was so totally not “there”. We finish the date, he drives me to my truck, gives me a kiss on the cheek, and we part ways. A few hours later he texts me and says what a great time he had (wish I could say the same).

I know what you’re thinking? “Diva, what’s wrong with him”. Aside from the fact that I would have had more fun folding paper bags into origami shapes, or I could have played vodka pong with myself, or skipped rope, or laid on the couch and painted my toes...

He was a Good On Paper guy by all accounts, it was just lifeless, no joking, no chemistry, nothing...good on paper does not mean good in person...

The Weekend Review: A Date, Stay On Your-Side & PDA

2009-07-06T15:46:00.005+01:00

10. My weekend started on Wednesday. I hung with some chick friends for a minute. Not the same. Was home by midnight to prepare for my day trip to NY at 7:30am

9. The trip to NY with Devin was much better this time. We got a room in Midtown, didn't have the bus ride from hell and just chilled. Uno problemo. There was only one bed in our room, although I clearly requested two.

8. It's been almost two weeks since I heard from Mr. Henry. Guess he didn't like what I had to say. Oh well, his numbers were deleted two weeks ago anyways along with Tony's & some "unmentionables"

7. Speaking of "unmentionables", I ran into DJ a week or so ago. He's texted and called me a few times since our encounter...

6. Devin and I got stuck in Starbucks after 2am, cause someone thought it was a bright idea to use that entrance to get to our hotel room, well, in our defense, the door WAS unlocked. As soon as it shut behind us, it locked and the alarm started going off. The opposite door to the hotel was locked too....we were “locked-up”.

5. Friday night, after getting back to DC, I hung with some chick friends for happy hour and drinks. Then met Devin in Adams Morgan.

4. After a night of vodka’s and limes, while walking down the street at the butt crack of dawn in the morning in Adams Morgan and on U Street, I ~~was yelling at couples who were having sex and sucking face to get a room~~ politely told people who felt the need to show random acts of Nasty, McNasty PDA to get a room. This one couple retorted back and said, “well you can kiss the guy you’re with”. (Pause). I looked at Devin and apologize to the couple....punks.

3. I went on a date yesterday. It was so ~~fucking~~ boring. (more on that later)

2. Brian made it safely. ~~I’m so jealous he got to party it up at the Essence, while I was stuck here.~~

1. It’s summer, I have my trips lined up, getting ready to party Diva style and I agreed to go “indoor sky-diving” with POW and “outdoor sky-diving” with Devin. Now all I need is my vodka and a hot sexy summer fling...yep, I said it!

(NO TITLE NEEDED)

2009-07-01T17:45:00.004+01:00

Today, going on right now...

Me: How's your trip going

Him: Left DC today at 7:30am (Side Note: He was supposed to leave Friday, pushed it to Monday, pushed it to Tuesday, well today is Wednesday)

Me: Wow. We're still friends right? I don't want anything from you. I just needed to say it

Him: It's all good

Me: You didn't answer my question

Him: Yes I did, we are

Me: Good, cause no one would understand me, re Mary McBeth Alice from Scotland London Wales (Side Note: Inside joke, you wouldn't get it)

Him: hahaha

Me: Ok Ass Munch. Sorry. Drive Safely

An Update To The Update

2009-07-01T07:03:00.004+01:00

So, after I went on my e-mailing spree on Monday. A few things happened and didn't happen.

Update #1 - He (the name I promised not to blog about anymore) did e-mail me back. I posted what he said verbatim in the comments. I'm not mad about it. In fact, I thought it was a decent response, considering my left-field timeliness. In retrospect, I think to some extent during our last week we were both (maybe me so more than him) faced with the reality that he was leaving. As I said before, he told me he was mad at me on Thursday, & I at him on Wednesday, then we went on the spree of "get it in before you leave"... I never went into our friendship wanting or expecting more, nor do I want it right now. It (the L word) just hit me out of nowhere like a 10 ton elephant high off of poppy and laced peanuts. All in all, I think I am cool with the outcome. I feel like I can finally sleep a little bit better...I'm sure once time has passed, we'll talk...(I think).

Update #2 - PATT. I e-mailed her on Monday, and we went back and forth trying to counter our points as to why the other person shoulda coulda woulda. All in all I think our points of views are both valid for different reasons. Sometimes we (people) become so self absorbed in our own problems and issues, that we momentarily forget other people are going through it too. We still haven't verbally talked, however she attempted to text me today, and I responded with a call, and she responded with a text. I'll keep you posted...

Update # 3 - During my e-mail binge, I also gave Tony & Mr. Henry a huge piece of my mind. Both for different reasons...guess I was just letting it all out. Neither one responded. My text to Tony was basically because of the fact that he was harassing me about wanting to see me and spend time with me. When I finally caved in and agreed, he went MIA. I tried to be delicate in my response, because he IS on meds (Did I mention he is crazy), however, don't grovel and beg and say you want to spend time with me, then when I carve out a time, and we agree upon it, you go AWOL?...NEXT!

Update #4 - Devin and I are going to NY tomorrow. This time we actually (were not cheap) booked a room. A few things I forgot to mention about him, besides the fact that he sorta works for me. I've know him for two years now. He knows all about Mr. Henry & Brian. (He's met Mr. Henry & knows him through working for me) During last week's 9 hour bus ride of a nightmare to NY, we had nothing but time on our hands. Actually before the trip, we would keep up with each other a few times a month. So it's not anything that's new or a possible, nor do I want it to be... (side note: as his sorta boss, it's sorta inappropriate as well)

Update #5 - Finally finished that "Things To Do Before 30" list. Let's see if I can accomplish it, in 6 months...

Diva's Before I Turn 30 ... Sexy To Do List
(January 6, respectively)

Take Vacations To:
Vegas (booked it)
Boston (booked it)
Dominican Republic (booked it)
Cancun (pending)

Personal:
Save $5,000
Get Back To The Gym
Pay Off Credit Cards

Professional:
Apply to Grad Schools
Work On Business(es)
Apply for International Volunteer Programs

Extra Fun:
Try Something I've Never Done Before... (still thinking on this one)

The Post You've Been Waiting On...The End Of Brian (2 of 2)

2009-06-29T23:48:00.008+01:00

So, Sunday...after the second bar, Brian & I parted ways briefly. I meet up with Devin on U Street, and Brian has dinner with one of his friends. We then meet back up about an hour later...yeah...it was like that.

There were so many times I tried to say something, but it came out like this __________. The more I thought about it, the more I drunk. By the time I worked up the nerves (after 6 margarita's & hookah) it still didn't come out. When we finally got in our cabs to part ways...I called him. Still nothing. This morning I punked out and sent an e-mail instead.

In sending the e-mail I didn't expect a response, nor did I really want one. It was really for me. The e-mail is extremely personal to me, but I couldn't explain the end of Brian without sharing it.

Diva

________________________
First let me apologize for my actions. Yes, I know I got drunk, and you were probably irritated with me, and well it wasn’t a good look in general. I didn’t want your last few days to be “weird” and I guess everything has been building up for me. I’ll admit, I get really emotional internally and don’t express myself well enough outwordly. I try to cover up my feelings with humor, lack of acknowledgement, and other stuff I really can’t get into, but I’m working on it, is all I can say...

Knowing you has allowed me to look within myself more and to recognize my own faults and short-comings. I realize knowing you, I have learned things about myself and other people, and I apprecite you for that. I truly believe everything happens for a reason, just as much as I believe in karma & fate.

I’m not telling you this for you, but for me. You’ll probably hate me for it, but I don’t care. I was in love with you. I am. For all of the right and wrong reasons. For reasons I couldn’t comprehend or put my finger on. I realized it in February and couldn’t process it. It sounds stupid, I’m sure, but something I’m working on is telling people how I feel, and then moving on.

I really value & appreciate your friendship, and all of the things I learned from you and in turn learned about myself. Everyday I live, I strive to be a better person, a happier person, living life to the fullest.

I wish you safe travels and a blessed & fulfilled life. If you ever need anything, just ask.

Keep in touch

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