Tuesday, September 29, 2009

My Yoga Pants Must Be Sexy

This is like the fourth, fifth, sixth time I've been accosted either on my way to my Pilates class, or leaving my Pilates class. Tonight, while I was in my happy place, this guy approached me. First, I'm all sweaty, looking like I just finished a marathon and ten-hour romp session, walking home, yoga mat in hand, still being "centered" and guy (to be named later) stops me, not in a good way. Second, he tries to relate to me and tells me that he takes yoga, and proceeds to name all of the classes he's taken.

Ok, dude. I don't care. I'm hungry, sweaty, and I was in my happy place. See, the thing is, I felt like he was stalking following me, because he came from out of nowhere, and just kind of rolled up on me like he was the FBI.

So he asks to call. (Side Note: I was feeling all of the red flags beginning to slowly rise :End Side Note)

Thirty minutes later he sends his first text.


Yep. My inital assesment of his approach was on point. His name should be Mr. Red Flag. Not only did he not allow enough time for me to shower, eat, watch Heroes, which I missed anyways because I thought it came on at 9pm and not at 8pm, he came off as being el desperate. Like dude.

He then commits another cardinal sin or...well it should be one. Here's the text:

Mr. Red Flag: What are three things men like about ur personality, and three things men like about you physically"

Really? Really? Well he clearly liked the way my yoga pants fit ever so snuggly and he liked how my t-shirt was just a bit sweaty....

Not only did I not answer his stupid ass question. He's already earned the time-out box award. "Go immediately to the time-out box, do not pass go, do not collect your vodka shots"..... TOOL

Monday, September 28, 2009

Weekend = Wet

Short, sweet & wet = my weekend

Despite the weather being just bit of a damper, I managed to squeeze in a bit of fun. Nothing to jump up and down about and get excited over, but just enough to wet my taste buds. Thursday night, I went to a chill lounge with chick friends. It wasn’t a party like it’s 1999 time, but I loved the vibe and music and people. I can see me hanging there every Thursday night.

My trip to Philly ended up getting cancelled for Saturday. Despite that small blip, I still went to a friends bon voyage party. She pretty much got trashed and I was the sober one...what can I say. Guess I’m “chilling”.

Yesterday was the movies with Jason. It was cool, our typical movie “un-date”. All in all it was pretty low-key (read: ehhh according to my party standards!!!)

There were no Mr. Henry rendezvous, no new guys, although old one’s try to resurface, i.e. texts from Latino Papi Alex and a call from Island Prince John.

Monday, September 21, 2009

“Kink”end In With Mr. Henry & Other News

This weekend was low-key. Aside from going to a fight party. I spent the majority of it with Mr. Henry. Ummmm. What can I say? We spent most of the weekend horizontally, taking pictures (rather, him taking pictures of me) and eating & drinking. It kind of felt good...just to lay around. Oh, and some of our conversations were quite interesting.

1. He asked me if I had sex while I was in the Dominican

2. He brought up the phrases “if we get married”, “when we have kids”,

3. I told him “we are not having kids”

4. We talked about taking a trip.

5. He told me about some more of his other kinky fetishes, then proceeded to show me on the computer

6. He asked me if I loved him


In Other News

I talked to Brian for awhile. He’s thinking of coming here the beginning of October. Our last few conversations have been about traveling either to NO, out of the country or here. Nothing is concrete yet.

The next two trips on my agenda: Philly and Michigan

Before I left for the Dominican, Jason and I went to the movies. Afterwards we got ice cream and walked around downtown arm in arm. It was really cute, sort of date-ish, although, it wasn’t a date. But it felt like one. I thought about whether or not I could see myself dating him, and it’s hard to see past the occasional movie date. He’s a bit of a homebody, and doesn’t seem like he would take the initiative to do anything outside of his comfort zone....and oh yea, he’s younger than me by like three years...

Thursday, September 17, 2009

El Dominican En Español - No Sexo

Perfect. The weather was perfect. The resort was a little on the “rustic” side, but hey, I couldn’t beat the price. Who would imagine that I’d go without central AC for five days! It was actually perfect though. I wouldn’t necessarily go back there because it was a time share, however I want to visit the DR again, with different company.

The chick friend I went with was cool, however she was perfectly fine with staying on the resort, the whole vacay, and well, you know me. I like to venture out, make friends, hang with the locals, see things, go on “adventures”!!! I did end up meeting some other vacationers and going out with them my last night there...that was quite interesting to say the least! We seen quite a few “questionable” transactions go down. I danced, drank, had fun with my new friends, not to mention, I think I got propositioned en español a few times!

All in all it was a relaxing vacay. No wild and crazy dancing on the bar or making out with papi-chulo’s, but still a good vacay. I’m planning my next one right now!

Deseo que mi compañía fuera mejor. Quizá la próxima vez que iré con un individuo. Hablé con dos ciertos someone' s que está interesado en volver conmigo. Quizá desde noviembre. También la clase I de deseo tenía sexo. ¡Oh bien!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

I Think He Reads My Blog

I think Mr. Henry reads my blog. Last night he spent the night (btw, he’s still there) and we were fooling around, and he was taking pics of me, yeah I know what I said yesterday. Pictures are different from video footage, it was artistic still photographs! Anyways, he said he wants to format one of them so I can put it on my blog.



(PAUSE)


I told him a long time ago I have a blog and I blog about him, but now I’m wondering if he reads it. If he does, I think he will somewhat approve, because he’s a freak. Extrovert.

Updates on Vegas coming. I promise.


2 days until the DR!!!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Fetish Or Just Freaky???

Disclaimer: This post is not for the faint at heart. End Disclaimer


When do fetishes become...uhhh, not fetishes???



Ok, so I know I am posting this a little backwards. P.O.W and I just got back from Vegas, and while we are still piecing the events together, I have something a little more pressing to get off my chest. Mr. Henry came over last night for a little post-vacation fun. Yes, I know. It's been awhile. Honestly, I don't know what to say. Let's just skip that little detail and get to the issue at hand.

Mr. Henry is a freak. A big ole freaky kinky something. I mean the biggest freak I know next to...next to, well....I'll come back to that. While we are doing the horizontal tango, Mr. Henry tells me what he wants.

Mr. Henry: Spit on me

(PAUSE)

Oh, it wasn't just like spit for greasing the monkey. He wanted me to spit on him everywhere...I mean everywhere. And while I was spitting on him, he wanted me to call him every dirty name in the book. Literally. Like degrading names...oh and he wanted me to slap him. A couple of times he said to slap him harder. Now, I'm not one for punching you in the face during sex-sessions, but...if it turns you on...I guess I'll punch you, I think.

Really though, I was running out of spit, and quite frankly, I was thinking:

"Damn, really you like this? If I knew slapping you brought you such pleasure, there were many of times when I would have slapped the shit out of you for pissing me off. Furthermore, how much spit do you think I have, damn" ---

I digress.

When does a fetish become too freaky to perform? Like there are things I definitely DO NOT WANT you to do to me. Peeing on me, spitting on me and choking me come to mind. I'm all for pleasing, but first it's spitting, next thing you know, you'll want me to help you perform some form of erotic asphyxiation. Uhhh. NO. There comes a time, when lines have to be drawn. Like I don't plan on fulfilling a freaky fantasy if:

1. I could be going to jail for performing a misdemeanor because it got his rocks off

2. If it involves him putting any bodily fluids on me that should be reserved for the porcelain god's.

3. If it involved video cameras, yeah I know I can't run for a high level government position anymore, but still...just in case. I don't want to happen upon my own home video on pornhub.com

4. It involves foreign objects.

I'm sure there are more, but this is all I can think of right now...


In Other News:

3 Days till the DR!!!!!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

HELL DATE: Case of the Jolly Green Giant

I'm not the only one who has had O-M-G dates...a date with the Jolly Green Giant, according to P.O.W.



I’m baaack!!

Diva has asked me to write about one my dating experiences before we hit Vegas!!! I’ve decided to tell you the tale of the day I met George Foreman.

I don’t do blind dates. I always thought hook-ups were scary and un-natural. You might end up spending three horrid hours with somebody like Flavor-Flav or ODB (RIP). Nevertheless, I broke my rule one time and I will never do it again.

I have a friend who has a gorgeous husband. Tall and dark like I like them. He has a good career and he is a wonderful father and husband. They have the life I planned for myself. One day I’m over there for a play date with the kids and the “Gorgeous Husband” asked me if I would like to meet his cousin. I asked all the basic questions. Age? Kids? Career? Extra toes? He was Gorgeous Husband’s first cousin so I’m thinking they may have some kind of resemblance, against my better judgment I agreed to the date.

Cousin called me the day before the date. His voice was somewhat hard to read. It could go either way. He seemed nice enough though. We talked about general things. I was cooking at the time and my George Foreman Grill was acting up (remember this for later). We made plans to meet at his favorite restaurant with flair.

I get there first so I can check out the scene in case I need to flee. He told me he would have on a green jacket. I order an Ultimate Long Island to prepare myself for the worst.

In walks this 6’ 3” person in a Boston Celtics outfit from head to toe, looking like the Jolly Green giant. And when I say head to toe I mean head to toe. Hat, jacket, t-shirt, pants, and shoes. Green. I assume this is not my date because he said green jacket so I continue to drink my drink. Boston Celtic sits down and I almost choke.

I want to pre-warn you. I am usually a very nice person and I don’t like to hurt anyone’s feelings but I’m gonna keep real with yall…He was busted. Tore up from the floor up. A mud duck. A beast. He was cock-eyed, his teeth were yellow and his voice was annoying. He kept laughing at his own jokes. He told me I had the best cleavage in the whole city. He asked me did I think his outfit was fresh. Fresh yall, Fresh. Who does that?

I struggle through the dinner trying to be polite as I could be. At the end, he asked me to meet him at his truck. I’m thinking Hell No! You’re not going to hit me over the head and drag me home. I might wake up dressed like you. No way buddy…but against my better judgment, I went.

He pulls out this big bag from Target. In it is a new George Foreman Grill. He tells me he heard me complaining about mine and figured I could use a new one so I could cook his favorite meal. Okay so most people will say this was a sweet gesture but I felt like it was kinda creepy…who does that?

P.O.W.

Update Continued: Straight No Chaser

So I know I left you hanging, but well didn't you enjoy my treats? Anyways I have one more in store for you, but let me get this out the way. Straight and to the point. Akeem and my friend exchanged numbers. They were talking most of the night, he was stuck her like white on rice (my mom used to say that...sue me) and I was tipsy and talking to my other friend about it. I honestly don't remember everything I was saying or what I said. I felt some type of way about it though, not jealous or mad...just something. Anywho, at the end of the night, me and him are talking and he asks me why we never hit it off (pause....double pause). I'll leave it at that.


In Other News:

Vegas, Thursday. I so need this like I need a big tall glass of vodka right now. Oh yea, the news broke on twitter first...I talked to Brian last night. Another trip may be on the rise. I won't lie, I miss him like I missed vodka when I went without for 17days... remember that? I was feening for vodka. His birthday is on Monday.

I'm going to the movies with Jason if I don't flake again.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Romantic & Random = A+

I told you guys I had a few treats for you today. Yes the first one was my guest post over at SSSO. If you haven't checked them out, do so. And my second treat is another guest post right here! Today, I introduce you to Tunde from Like A Dream. He is random, but I love it. And apparently he's a romantic too! (I didn't get the memo until late last night). Maybe I should play cupid and start some love connections!
Enjoy,
Diva
_______________________________________________________

Thanks Diva for allowing me to grace your page with one of my dating experiences.



*** On my blog I write about my dreams or random events that I experience and I rarely blog about my love life. I do this because too many people actually read my blog that know me personally and I’m a little too private for that. When DCDiva asked me to do a guest post I couldn’t turn down the opportunity because I have a myriad of experiences when it comes to dating. ***


While in undergrad I had one consistent girlfriend (Tonya). Our junior year in college my ex wanted us to go this Valentine’s Day ball on campus. I didn’t want to go because I thought that shit was going to be lame I had a surprise in store that I needed to plan for. So I told her the week of Valentine’s Day that I wasn’t going to be able to go and made up some lame excuse. Needless to say she was pissed and called herself not talking to me the entire day of.


Of course her friends were in on my plan. So they told Tonya that they would go with instead to the ball. I know for a fact that during the evening there was a full fledged Tunde male-bashing session. So the whole day I’m running around getting things ready for that night. So after the ball I asked her to come by my house. Of course she was still upset with me till I handed her a 3x5 index card. On in it said: “This is your Valentine’s Day present. Since you didn’t have faith in me you’re going to have to work for it. Now begins the scavenger hunt. First clue: My favorite movie”. I placed her next clue (another card) in the inside of a dvd case of my favorite movie at the time, Se7en. This next clue said: “Man I’m really hungry I should fix myself something to eat.” Her next clue was taped to the inside of the oven door. This went on for about 4 more clues which led her closer and closer to her final destination. She ended up back at her room and found her gifts there (her friends helped me put them there).


Needless to say she felt kind of dumb for bad mouthing me and thinking that I really didn’t have anything planned for Valentine’s Day. Yeah that night I was glad I didn’t have a roommate.

Don't Put A Ring On It!!!

Wow! There is so much going on, I don't know where to begin? I have a few treats for you, plus 2 days till Vegas! Yea!!!

So recently I had the pleasure (I'm getting a lot of pleasure lately....hmmmm) of gracing the page of Single Sister's Speak Out. If you haven't stopped by there, please do so. The ladies and token gent (just kidding Peyso, you rock) talk about everything from relationships to health, and today is not the day to put a ring on it! (according to my post)

Enjoy and thanks sooooo much Jac.

Diva