Monday, June 29, 2009

The Post You've Been Waiting On...The End Of Brian (2 of 2)

So, Sunday...after the second bar, Brian & I parted ways briefly. I meet up with Devin on U Street, and Brian has dinner with one of his friends. We then meet back up about an hour later...yeah...it was like that.

There were so many times I tried to say something, but it came out like this __________. The more I thought about it, the more I drunk. By the time I worked up the nerves (after 6 margarita's & hookah) it still didn't come out. When we finally got in our cabs to part ways...I called him. Still nothing. This morning I punked out and sent an e-mail instead.

In sending the e-mail I didn't expect a response, nor did I really want one. It was really for me. The e-mail is extremely personal to me, but I couldn't explain the end of Brian without sharing it.

Diva

________________________
First let me apologize for my actions. Yes, I know I got drunk, and you were probably irritated with me, and well it wasn’t a good look in general. I didn’t want your last few days to be “weird” and I guess everything has been building up for me. I’ll admit, I get really emotional internally and don’t express myself well enough outwordly. I try to cover up my feelings with humor, lack of acknowledgement, and other stuff I really can’t get into, but I’m working on it, is all I can say...

Knowing you has allowed me to look within myself more and to recognize my own faults and short-comings. I realize knowing you, I have learned things about myself and other people, and I apprecite you for that. I truly believe everything happens for a reason, just as much as I believe in karma & fate.

I’m not telling you this for you, but for me. You’ll probably hate me for it, but I don’t care. I was in love with you. I am. For all of the right and wrong reasons. For reasons I couldn’t comprehend or put my finger on. I realized it in February and couldn’t process it. It sounds stupid, I’m sure, but something I’m working on is telling people how I feel, and then moving on.

I really value & appreciate your friendship, and all of the things I learned from you and in turn learned about myself. Everyday I live, I strive to be a better person, a happier person, living life to the fullest.

I wish you safe travels and a blessed & fulfilled life. If you ever need anything, just ask.

Keep in touch




(End Quote)

The Post You’ve Been Waiting On....The End Of Brian (1 of 2)

I promise, this is my last last post about Brian...well I don’t mean promise per se, but well I do. This past week was an emotional rollercoaster. Like I knew it was coming, but then again I didn’t. I really don’t know where to begin....

Wednesday Night - I hung with Brian and was irritated. Him and his roomy were getting on my nerves, I was PMS’ing, (damn mother nature) and was forced to face the fact, that I really couldn’t put my finger on why I was mad at him.

Thursday Night - Again we hung. I found out Saturday, that this was the night Brian was mad at me. I had no clue. I didn’t do anything differently, he tried to explain it to me, but well...*shrugs*

Saturday Night - I wanted to hang with him, I did, but I was so tired from my trip that I just crashed...

Sunday, now this is where shit gets interesting. I decided to be the sweet Diva, and to hold up part of my end of the bet we made a few months ago. I got a card, put half the bet money in there and a picture of us in Miami, I didn’t write any sappy comments, cause that’s not my style, but Brian appreciated it, and laughed at the fact that it was just half of our bargain. We started the night out in Georgetown at a bar, so things are good, conversation, drinks....and BAM, out of know where guess who was there??????. Brian pointed her out to me.

Brian: There’s your girl

Me: Who

Brian: Your girl, there in the black....you see her

Me: Damn

Side Note: At this point, we still haven’t talked, and I never got around to sending that e-mail...until this morning (End side note)

I had no choice but to walk pass her. I stop we all say hi. She introduces us, then Brian & I head to the other side. Awkward...Brian said it was fake.

Brian: I take it you guys haven’t talked

Me: Yep

Brian: That was fake

Me: Why’d you have to go rain on my parade, I was cool until you pointed her out

Brian: You need to just tell her

Me: I will. I started the e-mail, I just didn’t finish it. I just don’t feel like dealing with it right now....but I will...


We stayed at the bar a little longer, then left and went to another bar (to be continued...)

26 Hr. Marathon - In Theory It Was A Good Idea...

Ummm, so much to say. I am still adjusting to the fact it’s Monday, and I had an interesting weekend. So New York. What can I say. The plan was to not have a plan, and ummm well the spontaneity was exciting, but I’m not sure if I can pull another all nighter like that. Devin and I took the bus to New York around 2pm. That was the longest damn ride ever. We were supposed to get there at 6:15....three hours after the fact, we finally, finally made it to Penn Station. Not one’s for letting that ruin the night, we went and had dinner, found a cool spot called “The Groove” hung out there until 3am, found a bar a block away and hung out there until 4am...then we had 3 hours to kill before our return to D.C. I was dead, literally. I was so tired I was delirious, I thought I seen a kangaroo (probably an NYC rat), and never fully recovered on Saturday.



Last night, we hung out for about an hour together on U Street, and decided we’re going to try to do NY again this weekend.....



About Devin

Devin is just a friend, so don’t get too excited! He’s cool. He actually works for me, sorta. He’s attractive, a little goofy and nerdy, but a sweet sweet guy. He loves to have fun, but is into the “eclectic” type fun. We’ve hung out before- never like this. He just got out of a relationship, and with Brian’s departure, it’s a perfect match. I get my male hang out buddy, and he gets to have fun with me! What more can I ask for???

Friday, June 26, 2009

I Have That Affect On Even Myself...

Ummm, so much, so little time. Let's see. Well I'm going to New York with a guy friend today at 2pm. (Did your jaw, just drop?) His name is...."Devin". Yes, I know, first time you heard his name. I like to shock and amaze, what can I say. Last night he asked me what I was doing. I told him I was hanging with Brian.

Devin: Then what are you doing tomorrow?

Me: Ummm, nothing. We should hang.

Devin: Let's go to New York

Me: Sure

Devin: Ok, let's do it.

After we make our plans, I get ready for a night out on the town with Brian...and well, it was a night. Not a party fun time like we usually have, but we cleared the air a little with our profound conversation, while sipping on a cool refreshing drink, surrounded by uptight people. A few times I tried to tell him how I felt....but it came out like this _____________________.

I had no problem telling him, he was an asshole, and telling him how he tried to feel me up while this French chick was in the cab with us last week, whom he was banging. You know what he did...shrugged. I told him I thought he was an asshole and that's not the first time he's tried to feel me up. His response:

"I know I am an asshole, and I'm working on that, but I'm a good guy, and have a good character, so people don't stay mad at me for being an asshole" (end quote)

Thursday, June 25, 2009

An Open Letter To Diva

Dear Diva,

What’s wrong??? Why have you been so emotional lately. Is it cause it’s that time of the month? Or is it the fact you are pushing 30? Maybe it’s cause you still haven’t had the big O yet, and you’ve secretly been going on pornhub.com. You haven’t returned text messages. You push ignore on incoming calls. Maybe you need a break and a really good f**k. Remember when you went to Jamaica, and you came back refreshed & rejuvenated??? Those were some good times. You said you were going to go to the toy store. Maybe you should really invest in that rabbit. Or maybe you are immune to the vanilla vodka & lime juice cocktails now. Maybe you should upgrade to scotch Johnny Walker Blue Label? Maybe you should get some stuff off your chest, you know tell Brian how you feel then tell him to fuck off, literally. Or tell Mr. Henry that you’re tired of him, and he’s in the box with PATT.

Maybe you should return PATT’s text from last night. You know the one you deleted, where she asked you what you were doing? You should have said something, no? Maybe you need a vacation...wait we’re in a recession. I take that back. Well maybe you should go out tonight and hang hard. Like back in the college days hard, shots on the bar, dropping it like it’s hot, making out...then call in sick in the morning. Can’t wait till you get back to your old party girl self.

Love,

Diva

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Catch Up!

Neila inspired me to write a post to catch lurkers & new followers of the blog up on the who, what, when, where and why. Before you continue to read this post any further, visit these posts....go ahead, I’ll wait.

How Brian Met Diva

Mr. Henry, Part 1 of Many Blogs

Mr. Henry Before & After Part 1 of 2

Weird Guy From The Gym

Tony, Tony, Tony




Now the QUICK synopsis. I’m not seeing anyone seriously. Most days I really don’t want to. I haven’t seen Tony since early March although we text and talk from time to time. Mr. Henry...well it’s a love/hate on again off again thing. Right now it’s off on my end because of his recent comments, re me sleeping on Brian’s couch. If Mr. H asks me something, I tell him. The thing is when I tell him he gets mad...well don’t ask me!!! That solves that right!

Brian, well as you guys know, he’s leaving. In fact the movers packed him up Monday. We are just friends. Nothing sexual has happened between us, unless you count the sexual tension that’s under the surface sometimes...and my "crush" on him

There are unmentionables, not really worthy of a post right now. The guy I went on a date with most recently who was late still texts; then there are a few other guys I meet here or there and it doesn’t come to fruition.

So hope this helps! Back later with updates on my convo with Brian yesterday

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Slutbuckets & Lost Keys

I decided if... ( A BIG IF) I go to New Orleans next week to hang with Brian, I would may at some point tell him about my previous crush on him, despite his slutbucket, male whore-ish ways. I didn't have a crush on him because he's a slutbucket & I want(ed) to test the one eyed monster in his pants. I had (key word: HAD) a crush on him because of conversations we had. I had a crush on him because he pushed me to run when I was ready to quit when he was my work-out buddy. I had a crush on him because he's all about self improvement and happiness. I had a crush on him because he was about educating self and learning about every religion and everything, whether it's a conflicting belief or not. I had a crush on him because when I called on him in the fall to help me at an event, he came through for me. Mr. Henry's trifling ass, whom I've known 8/9 years longer than Brian never called back.

I had a crush on him because of the way his eyes lit up when he talked about his daughter, and the patience he exhibited no matter how many times she called him "Daddy" when she was here, but didn't have a follow-up sentence. I had a crush on him because he accepted my, drunken dancing on the stage almost nude ways and didn't judge me in Jamaica. I had a crush on him because he slept next to me when I was ten sheets to the wind, naked and horny, and "respected" me. I had a crush on him because he talked up my fabulous-ness to other people in front of and behind my back.
I had a crush on him because when I called him at 2:30 am yesterday, he hopped on his motorcycle and came to the rescue, despite the fact that a best friend who is now obsolete, never even called me back this weekend in regards to me being locked out, with no place to go, and having something to do that was majorly important on Sunday.

I had a crush on him because of our similar backgrounds and when I told him that a family member close to me has a gambling problem and I cleared my 401K for them, he was understanding and supportive and offered words of support and wisdom. Despite his slutbucket, male-whore-ish ways, Brian is a good dude. I feel comfortable and safe around him. Even when I was rubbing his back while he was throwing up his Corona's & Long Islands from the night, before I tucked him in...that he was a good friend.

Yea, I'm seriously thinking about telling him about my former crush on him. But I will probably sober up chicken out and keep it to myself for eternity.

In Other News Not Related To Dating:

I haven't talked to P.A.T.T. since Saturday. She (the first female) earned a spot in the Do Not Answer slot in the silver bullet (my cell phone). Here's the story. As I said before earlier, I was in a rush and locked myself out my apartment on Saturday afternoon. As soon as I realized my absentminded-ness caused me to be homeless not able to get into my place, I called and texted P.A.T.T. because she had my spare key (which I usually keep in my truck, because of scenarios like this). In anycase, I told her I was headed to Brian's BBQ (invited her) and that I was cool for the time being, but to let me know where she would be so we could meet-up. The biatch, girl that I thought was one of my BFF's, responded back and said ok. After a few hours at Brian's place, I text'd to see where she was at. She was 30 minutes away from D.C. but she said didn't have the key with her. She said she probably left it at her Dad's place or in the car of a married man whom I suspect she use to tango with in the past a friend's and that she would try to contact him. A few hours later I text/call for an update on her location and the location of the key to my love shack beloved apartment, and she then responded that she was in Baltimore and she apparently couldn't get in touch with said friend.

Side Note: Not a likely story since her & said friend seemed to be attached at the hip for the last few weeks, the way Brian and I have been. I digress.

Through-out of these calls and s.o.s messages, I made it be known that I HAD SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO DO ON SUNDAY, and that I needed to get into my place.


Long story short, she never got me my key, which resulted in me sleeping on Brian's couch and calling the former Russian Mafia locksmith guy to drill a hole in my lock. 48+ hours later, still no word, no call to see if I was ok, if I got in, if I pissed on myself & needed a shower. Nothing. So she's in "the box" with a lid on it.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Time-Out Box

So this week(end) was f’ing interesting on so so so many levels. Everything from locking myself out of my apartment (twice), to Brian being so drunk, he decided to “take a little nap” on the streets of Georgetown at 2am on Saturday, to me putting Mr. Henry, P.A.T.T. and Tony in the “time-out” box, here’s the summary of my 5 vodka filled days (6 if you count tonight):

10. If I owned stock in vodka, any brand, even Popov, I’d be rich, albeit, I’d drink most of my shares...

9. Hung out with Brian Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and last-night. Spent the night Saturday night...

8. Tony text me Friday & Saturday wanting to “see” me. We had so many random conversations about “us” and seeing each other. I don’t want to “see” him like that

7. P.A.T.T. is the first to enter the ‘time-out” box this weekend. Saturday at 1pm, I realized I locked myself out of my apartment. I call/text and send flare messages, just short of calling the National Guard, to get my extra set of keys from her. Long story short, the biatch (yes, that’s not Diva like) never came through. Sunday morning, I flushed $139.00 down the toilet, just so the locksmith could get me in my place.

6. Brian had his going away BBQ Saturday. Hung there, then he & I hit the streets of Georgetown later. We go to our trusty faithful, and he either got roofied or can’t hold his liquor (that was a first). He decided to pee outside, on M Street (the main walkway), lay down on the concrete, and throw-up outside of his apartment building...(the night didn’t end there, tell you about it later)

5. Friday is a blur. I had so much fun, I sobered up towards the end of the night, when this guy “insisted” on taking me home. Being the quick, clever, ultimate smart chick that I am. I tricked him. I sent him back in the club to get me some water. As soon as he was out of eyesight, I hailed a cab and took my ass home...

4. Guess, dude didn’t have “hard” feelings. The next day he called me and said that was hilarious. He came back out with the water, and said I “disappeared".

3. I forgot to mention on Thursday night, Brian was flirting with me too, when I was sandwiched in-between he and his roommate in the cab. I told them, and I quote “I’m not fucking you guys”. Roomy was “offended” and said that, no one even mentioned sex...but you were thinking it, dude. His Roomy ended up leaving Friday & not staying for Brian’s going away party....that was lame...

2. Mr. Henry was the second to enter the “time-out” box. I was telling him about me being locked out of my place & the whole P.A.T.T. situation. He asked me where I slept, and I told him on Brian’s couch. He said, “you didn’t sleep on the damn couch”. I told him I had no reason to lie. Had I not said anything he would have never known...

1. Last night after Brian and I chilled. I dropped him off. 2:30am locked myself out my apartment again! I called him and he saved the day. I need some Ginkgo Biloba, stat

Friday, June 19, 2009

Somewhat Sober Now

I have no idea what I was trying to blog about last night. I don’t know who the “client” is. Seriously. I was three sheets to the wind. But Brian’s roomy WAS “thirsty”. He tried to talk to me, then he tried to talk to PATT, then he tried to talk to me. Seriously dude???

I had so much fun last night, I’ll probably be suffering all day. I didn’t get home till after 4am, knowing I had to get up & go to work. Somehow, Brian & Roomy talked me into hanging at their place after the club. I ended up fixing myself an omelet (no I did not cook for their “hungry asses”) and waited for PATT. I don’t know how we got split up, but she saved the day and took me home.

T-minus 6 days until Brian’s departure. He invited me to go to Louisiana to visit him and hang for the Essence fest in two weeks.

Thirsty Roomy: Gaterade Should Help

So tonight I met PATT, Brian & his roomy out. His roommate seemed dehydrated. Like he hasn't had water in months and Sunday's.

The client is cool, but my approach to dealing with everything will have to go a different route. In anycase, Im happy for the distractions....

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Something's In The Water....Again

Tonight was one of those RARE nights I decided to stay home and pretend I'm an adult. You know, taking care of business, bills, apartment, etc. (although I spent most of the night catching up on blogs!). But everyone & I mean EVERYONE either called or text to see if I wanted to hang out, or to ask me where they should hang out, or to see what I was doing:

Tony-Texted to say he was thinking about me

Mr. Henry - Sext Messages all day and flashbacks to Monday and this past weekend

Brian- Wanted to see what I was doing and after he found out I was staying in, decided to stay in too

PATT - Was at Stir and wanted to know if I wanted to join her

Guy Who Intervened A Few Weeks Ago, re sandwich chick - Called to see if we could get together

Latino Papi Alex- Texted to see where he could hang tonight and to see what I was up to. I told him to go to Pure Lounge for salsa & hip hop, then we chatted about meeting up soon.

Co-worker - Asked me at a work event today if I wanted to go salsa dancing tonight

Wow, when I decide to stay in and "chill", everyone wants to do something....classic. So for my blogger's/followers who live in the area & want something to do tomorrow, first if you haven't checked out the Eyespyz do so, then here's my short list for things to do....

Diva's Off Beaten Track of Things To Do:

Silverdocs - Film festival in Silver Spring

Buck Naked Bike Ride (courtesy of SBMinNOVA) - Saturday, 3pm ride nude & cover your jewels, slightly... (UPDATE, I'm late on this one!!! It passed)

The Artomatic - DC Free Arts Festival, featuring various works of art on display and for purchase

Salsa Congress - Watch salsa, learn salsa, dance salsa all weekend long!


And Now, On To The Watering Holes:

U-Street Neo-Vibes
Marvins - Cool, non-profit, granola eating, world peace crowd, who does things like Peace Corp, and tree hugging
Alero - Margarita & bar specials, cool meet the co-worker there after work vibe
Jin - $5.00 apps & drink specials 5:30 - 8:00
Pure - $1.00 drink specials from 6-9. Cool beats.
Bohemian Caverns - The name says it all, love the decor though. Sometimes they have cool live musical acts


K-Street Junkies (Party Vibes)
Lima
Tattoo
Lotus
The Park
K-Street Lounge
The Eyebar (a block over)
Josephine's (a few blocks over)
The Shadow Room
Ozio's (on M Street)


Sports Bar Atmosphere:
The Rocketbar - Gallery Place Chinatown
Buffalo Billiards - Dupont Circle
Recessions - 18th & L downtown area
Penn Quarter Sports Bar - Near the Archives Metro Station
The Lucky Bar - You may not get lucky, but it's near a few strip clubs, so you can pretend (Connecticut Ave.)
The ESPN Zone - enough said.

Adams Morgan - So many Cool Places, Not Enough Hours In The Night
Bukom - West African food, live Reggae band
Left Bank - Had Brazilian night on Friday
Hookah bars - Enough said
Chloe - Young, college crowd that likes to dance
Columbia Station - Cool live jazz music
Havana Village - Sexy Salsa

My advice for Adams Morgan, just walk around & bar hop, you never know what you'll find. Over 50 bars (I think) in the area


That's my PSA for the year....if you live or have lived in the area, add to it? Where do you go?

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The Date: Blow By Blow

Ok, before I go into detail about last night, let me get a couple of disclaimers out the way.

Disclaimer 1 - I’m not that patient, hence the reason why I don’t think I’ll have kids
Disclaimer 2 - Time is money
Disclaimer 3 - I was tired

If you recall, I tried to cancel my date yesterday. I kinda foresaw that it really wasn’t a good day to go on a date. Side Bar: The Mr. Henry romps Monday night had little to do with it. In any case here’s the timeline of unfortunate events:

2:47pm: I send date a text asking him to cancel

3:32pm: He sends me one back, checking to see if everything is ok

3:33pm: I tell him it is, but I have something to do, and wouldn’t be able to do a date until 8 (Here’s where I F’d up.)

3:34pm: He says that’s cool, he’ll see me at the spot at 8pm

4:00pm: I think to myself, what a lame I am cause I don’t wanna go on a date. Then I suck it up & get ready to hit my event and go on the date I don’t wanna go on.

6:00pm: Brian calls me to see what I’m doing. I tell him I have an event to attend, then I am going on a date afterwards.

7:50pm: On U street looking for parking...(f*ck)

8:03pm: Make it to the bar. Text date to let him know I’m there

8:04pm: He texts me back and says he’s running 10 minutes late

I order wine, sit in the damn near empty bar with nothing to do. The clock is ticking. I’m bored. Tired. I keep looking at cell. Ten minutes pass and no call. So in my head, I’m thinking I’ll give him till 8:30pm to call or get there. 8:27 still nothing. (F this) I close my tab out & exit the bar at exactly 8:30. As soon, and I mean as soon as I pull out from my parking spot, he tells me he’s there, in front waiting on me. WTF? I tell him it’s been 30 minutes and I left. Then the following convo ensues:

Date: I’mmmm sooo sorry. I was looking for parking and left work later than I anticipated. Please let me make it up to you.

Me: I’m on 14th & N (6 blocks away) now. You took too long

Date: I’m sorry. Let me meet you there.

He meets me, we decide to find a bar & have a drink, but end up driving around, avoiding the parking meter nazi’s. Finally, I’m done with it and tell him we’ll do it another time. Date ends at 9:01pm. I call Brian and we end up going out to a bar on K Street.

About The Date: He’s a good looking guy, well put together, amazing background, respectful...he just operates on CP time, and after about 10 minutes, my self diagnosed A.D.D. kicks in... he’s got 2.5 strikes though. 3 strikes you’re out. He's going out of town for work this weekend, so we said we’ll give it a go next week...I’ll see if I’m up to it.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I Suck... (Not really)

I suck. I have a date in less than 4 hours and I tried to cancel it....but I didn't seal the deal. So now I gotta go. I didn't really have a good reason to cancel, except for the fact that Mr. Henry spent the night last night & kept me up....or the fact that I have an event to attend from 5:30 to 7 something. Oh well. Guess I'll go.

He seemed cool on the phone. We met on Friday (I was somewhat sober). He's Nigerian, but he has a cockney/Brit/Nigerian accent (that was too funny to me). Good job, blah, blah, blah. He seems nice. Young but nice. I'll let you know what happens...

Monday, June 15, 2009

MIA: Why Didn’t You Call The Cops???

So, last week was quite busy with work...at least more so, than the last few months. Although I didn’t have much personal time for myself, I still managed to squeeze in a few sexy days of fun...

5. Friday night, Brian finally got back into town. We met up & hung out for a little. It wasn’t a party on wheels, but it was cool. He officially has 10 days left...

4. After I finished hanging with Brian, Mr. Henry met me downtown and we took a cab back to my place. He ended up spending the night Friday and Saturday. We had lots and lots of practice. Since I’ve been obsessed with the big O, I’ve been a big horn dog...trying to get it in whenever I can. Saturday, while Mr. Henry was over, Tony text’d me & asked to come over...funny...

3. Saturday night’s “verbal” session with Mr. H, was amazing...still no O though... well maybe it was a mini O...we talked about it. Probably TMI, but he likes sucking my toes...and well that’s not a big turn on for me...but he loves it...

2. I met this cool guy Friday night. He’s a baby!!!! Ok, like almost 5 years younger. We have a date tomorrow for drinks...

1. I’m still coming up with things I want to do in the next 7 months, before I hit the Big 3-0. The cool thing is, I’ve done a lot, and well some stuff just won’t happen in 7 months.... but I think I’m going to try to squeeze in another trip in addition to the Vegas & D.R. trips...somewhere sexy, for sexy fun times...

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Diva's Pre-Dirty Thirty List

Hmmm, gosh in less than 7 months, I'll be the big 3-0, the big "durty 30". I will admit, I've done a lot. A LOT. But I still want to be a little reckless (safely of course). Like what else can I do as a rebel diva? Well here's what I've done thus far....

10. Went to a nude beach...nothing like walking around naked...

9. Entered a wet t-shirt contest two years ago....kinda funny, since I'm not "busty" at all. I won 2nd place....a bottle of rum!!!!

8. Did a little dance on the stage in Jamaica...and on the bar...

7. Lived in London for 4 months for a study abroad...sprung my ankle the 3rd night there...

6. Had a mud bath...literally sat in a tub of mud in California with P.A.T.T., we felt kinda weird...

5. Entered a pj contest, for most "virginal" pj's...two years in a row...

4. Had sex in the parking lot of a Meijers in my truck....Meijer's is like the super Wal-mart of the north Mid-west

3. Karaoke...that was pretty horrid, seeing as I can't sing...

2. Traveled

1. A lot more that wouldn't fit in this post....lol




So I guess I need to make a list of things to do, before I turn 30??? Less than 7 and counting. What do you want to do that you haven't done???

Monday, June 8, 2009

Freaky Friday (Was There A Full Moon???)

“I only like two kinds of men, domestic and imported” - Mae West


I’ve said before how much I love men... all types. Well men (and some women) love me too! I had a pretty eventful Friday. I ended up hanging solo. P.A.T.T. backed out at the last minute & Brian went home for his daughter’s birthday, while other chick friends were out of town or missing in action.

Side Note: Pre-Brian and Post P.A.T.T. leaving for NY, I used to hang out quite often solo. Chick friends come up with so many excuses, i.e. “I’m cramping”, “My head hurts”, “I don’t have anything to wear” or my favorite “It’s raining”. So rather than sit at home and wait for someone to stop being wishy washy...I fly solo when needed, but I digress...

So anyways, Friday was... well here’s what happened.

5. I went to a Brazilian dance party in Adams Morgan. Tons of fun, and somehow, the island men always sniff me out. They assume I’m 1) from the islands and 2) don’t believe me when I tell them, I was homegrown in the States...in any case, this island guy was Old. Caused me to have not so yummy flashbacks of the Old Man. After shaking him and his entourage loose, I bar hopped to my next spot...

4. Stumbled upon another bar with cool music. Chatted with people. Everyone that I meet when I’m solo, is in such “awe and amazement” that I have the balls (figuratively speaking) to go out solo (Diva style). Most of the girls say they wish they could do that, and the guys, just think it’s pretty cool, and give me cool points.

3. Went back to the Brazilian dance party...(the lead singer was cute...couldn’t help it)

2. After consuming my max on vodka & limes, I walked past a food spot that looked good. Stopped in and got a sandwich. As I’m sitting there this chick tells me how good my sandwich looks. Thinking nothing of it, I go on to adamantly exclaim, how it’s “sooooooo good”. Then she stairs at me a little longer:

Chick Girl: Yeah, you’re making that sandwich look soooo good

Me: (wiping the extra sandwich sauce from chin, cause it was messy) Yea, it’s really good, you should get one. It’s chicken

Chick Girl: (walks over to me, looks at sandwich) Yeah, it’s sexy. You’re making me hungry

Me: (I’m still eating)

Chick Girl: Can I have a bite?

Me: No

Chick Girl: (laughing) what’s in it? Are you alone?

I tell her. Her male friend/cousin/ whoever comes and intervenes (saves me) and talks to me. This isn’t the first time a chick girl has “flirted” with me. I wonder though, don’t gay men & lesbians have “Straight-dars”. I know I have a “Gay-dar” (Disclaimer: Sometimes it doesn’t function properly, you know, mistakes straight for gay & vice versa). In any case, I’m comfortable enough in my womanhood, where it didn’t bother me....but I have to wonder...what the hell was she thinking? Oh well...I guess I’m flattered men & women like me (I think)...


1. Tony and I talked on the phone all night Friday.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Maybe I Should Just Have Wine At The Toy Store...

4. I know it’s stupid, but I really don’t want to go to Brian’s going away party...and I don’t have a good excuse to bail out. I thought about “all of a sudden” needing to go out of town for business”...but he knows what I do, and knows it would be a complete lie...


3. The guy I met Saturday, “Melvin”, wants to go on a date this weekend. I’m not feeling it...mainly because, I was “tipsy”...ok, I was a little more than tipsy. Simply put, I don’t remember him. It could be a disaster waiting to happen. He definitely can’t have my Saturday! I’ll suggest Sunday. Maybe wine making at this place.


2. Last night, I was feeling a little “frisky”. I called Mr. Henry...no luck. His phone was “out-of-service”...it’s still off as of now...


1. I’m going to the “toy” store tonight...any recommendations?

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Just Say No

"And on the 9th day, Diva rested..."


I was going to do this earlier, then I got side tracked, then I went salsa dancing....but here's the overview of my vodka filled week. Yes week! I went out 6 days out of the last 8...

9. Island Prince called me tonight. We actually had a better conversation. His English is improving, or my French translation switch is working. I found out he no longer lives with his baby's mama, cause she high-tailed it to France, his brother had twins, and he wants to see me...in his words..."very, very soon".

8. Ummm. Brian & I hung out Monday, Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday. Yes Sunday. Although I haven't seen the movie, I feel like saying..."I can't quit you"... Oh, and he likes the flask. We put it to good use on Saturday!

7. Apparently when I drink, I give up all of the info. You can ask me anything, anything. Atleast that's what I was told on Sunday, by a guy I met Saturday night. Why is liquor the truth serum? The government needs to start a new program and give all suspected "bad guys" shots of vodka...it works like a charm. Maybe I should be the Director of the program...you know, administer the vanilla vodka shots...

6. Tony sent me the following text message on Friday - "Maybe I should keep this to myself, but I've been thinking about u in the wrong ways. U were the best sexually I ever had"...

5. I do hang with other people besides Brian. Friday night I hung with the chick friends....uhhh, I was home by midnight.

4. Thanks Tunde and Blk Bond...I did some "research"...

3. I went salsa dancing tonight with P.A.T.T. No Old Man sightings, I had a really good time. I forgot what great exercise it is! I definitely need to get back into it.

2. I'll admit, after receiving Tony's text, I thought about inviting him over to conduct some "research". But then I remembered why I had to stop dealing with him...crazy, crazy, crazy.

1. I'm going to "try" (key word: TRY) to lay low this week/weekend. It's so hard to do when you live in D.C. and there's something to do every night of the week. I'm sure my liver, kidney's and bank account will thank me for it!

Monday, June 1, 2009

The Line-Up

Here’s a quick reference guide to guys in the past. As of June 24th, the guys I may make reference to are Tony, Brian, Mr. Henry or the Unmentionables... there’s not a MVP yet...




Akeem - Young, but cute...has a long ways to go UPDATE: We don’t talk anymore. Went on one date, sort of, texted/phone chatted a couple of times. That was it.

Benjamin - Old man. Met him in Jan. of 08. He just had a birthday which now makes him 56. He's older than my mom & dad... UPDATE: I finally, finally called it off, after a year of dating. I was never sexually attracted to him, although I enjoyed spending time with him. He had too many little Idiosyncrasies that annoyed me....plus, I really couldn’t see myself doing the horizontal sheet tango with him....ewwwww

Brian - Friend I have a slight to huge crush on, met in Feb/march of 08, but after spending a weekend in Miami together, I've determined that we will just be friends. I also went to Jamaica with him, and we go out almost every weekend together. UPDATE: I really, really do like him, but after a little more than a year of hanging with him, I never told him, because he’s a slutbucket and sleeps with a different chick almost every week. Despite that, he’s a good friend. He’s hot & sexy, rides a motorcycle, has his Master’s degree, good career, down to earth, takes care of his business, family, etc. etc. etc. We’ve never tangoed in between the sheets, but we’ve both seen each other naked, if that makes any sense

Carl - AKA "Cartoon Hands" - He's a newbie. I'm not into him. We don't seem compatible... UPDATE: Guy was freaking weird, not only were his hands something out of a horror movie, he sent me pictures of his Johnson, the first/second night we talked on the phone. I didn’t even ask him to. Nasty boy. Ran into him at the Metro station once. I only recognized him, because when he went to put my number in his phone, his hands screamed at me! I gave him a fake name and number the second time around...

Chris - New guy I met in August of 2008. We keep missing each other in terms of getting together. We don't talk anymore, but he still texts me on occasion. UPDATE: We had sex a couple of times, hung out sans sex a few times. Honestly there wasn’t any chemistry there. We talk from time to time. The last time I talked with him was in June.

Danny - Cute. Not a great conversationalist, but he loves to text! UPDATE: I don’t remember him

DJ - Spanish guy I met in 2008. Went on a few dates. Bad kisser. It never got beyond that... UPDATE: I never returned his calls

George - Cute Puerto Rican Papi Chulo, works in my building. Aspiring Reggae ton singer/rapper. Not quite clear on that! UPDATE: We see each other almost every morning. We’ve talked a couple of times about meeting up and he invited me to one of his shows, but we never followed through on anything

Island Prince John - I met him while he was here visiting his brother in September of 08. Hot sexy times. His brother kissed me.  UPDATE: He lives in Guadeloupe. He calls me about once a month. The boy could make a living being a model, but he’s a security guard. He told me the workers were having some kind of big strike there. I had to look it up, because his French was lost on me. He’s asked me to come visit him, but the tickets are ridiculous!!!! He said once I get there, I wouldn’t have to worry about anything though...

Jason - Friend/Co-worker - really nice guy, good head on his shoulders. Pretty cute.

John Q - Former co-worker I used to have a crush on! He's really cute, but I seen him outside of work a few times, and the verdict is out on that! UPDATE: Nothing there.

Latino Papi Alex - Cute. Salvadorian. We met earlier in 2008 at a bar I go to sometimes. Same place I met Old Man Benjamin! UPDATE: He texts me way too much, but never calls. We finally talked on the phone recently, he asks to come over to “chill”. I always come up with an excuse. We went on a date & it was cool, but I get tired of him texting me, 90% of the time I don’t respond....can’t get carpal tunnel.

Mr. Henry - Died October 17, 2008. Met him when I was in undergrad. We’ve known each other about 8/9 years, He moved out here a few years ago, we are great friends and fwb's. We have a pretty honest relationship UPDATE: Resurfaced around January, but he’s almost dead again. He has an ego problem when it comes to Brian. He’s never met him, but I’ve mentioned Brian in passing. The thing with Mr. H, is he’ll keep asking me about him, then when I tell him the truth he doesn’t believe me. We had sex recently, and it was short of amazing, but I also recently put him in the box

Security Guard (Terry)- He's not in the line-up, just a stalker!

Tony - Weird guy from the gym, met him in 2008. We recently reconnected or rather ran into each other twice in a short period UPDATE: Is on meds. He’s Bi-polar and crazy. Not a good combo. But the sex was fabulous. He’s an artist, so he really gets emotionally involved. We talk and text from time to time, and he’s asked to see me, and I did like hanging with him sometimes, but I can’t deal with his emotions. I haven’t seen him since March.

Unmentionables: Guys I met/meet but we never make it to the first date, or they are unworthy of mention. most notables are the new guy I went on a date with recently who was 30 minutes late. Well actually, I left, and then he called & tried to catch me. then there was the guy who got drunk on our date and I took him to his place and threw him the peace sign...let us not forget about the Tool I went to the movies with, who felt the need to explain to me why the sun is yellow and the sky is blue, and why vanilla ice cream taste the way it does...

My Liver Probably Hates Me...But No Hangovers!

Before I give you the review of my week/weekend. I must be a good Diva & share my concoction for avoiding the hangover! Disclaimer: My concoction won’t protect you from Monsters, won’t stop you from giving your number out while you’re drunk, you'll probably still develop vodka goggles and it won’t help you remember how you ended up in an alley in Georgetown, squatting between two buildings, while your BFF was the lookout for....well you get the point.

Before you consume your first drink:

Take vitamin B-12, B-6 and or a Super B Complex. Actually, load up on any vitamins you have in your medicine cabinet. Can’t hurt. Then drink lots of water!


After you’ve consumed the max, if you can remember anything at this point:

Take some more vitamins, and two Tylenol PM. Promise you’ll wake up refreshed & ready for a repeat!!!


In the Morning, Post 7 vodka’s & limes:

Before you try to piece the events of the previous night together. Drink 8 ounces of hot lemon water to flush the toxins out. Then read your drunk text messages.


What do you do to avoid hangovers? Back with updates later!