What’s wrong??? Why have you been so emotional lately. Is it cause it’s that time of the month? Or is it the fact you are pushing 30? Maybe it’s cause you still haven’t had the big O yet, and you’ve secretly been going on pornhub.com. You haven’t returned text messages. You push ignore on incoming calls. Maybe you need a break and a really good f**k. Remember when you went to Jamaica, and you came back refreshed & rejuvenated??? Those were some good times. You said you were going to go to the toy store. Maybe you should really invest in that rabbit. Or maybe you are immune to the vanilla vodka & lime juice cocktails now. Maybe you should upgrade to scotch Johnny Walker Blue Label? Maybe you should get some stuff off your chest, you know tell Brian how you feel then tell him to fuck off, literally. Or tell Mr. Henry that you’re tired of him, and he’s in the box with PATT.
Maybe you should return PATT’s text from last night. You know the one you deleted, where she asked you what you were doing? You should have said something, no? Maybe you need a vacation...wait we’re in a recession. I take that back. Well maybe you should go out tonight and hang hard. Like back in the college days hard, shots on the bar, dropping it like it’s hot, making out...then call in sick in the morning. Can’t wait till you get back to your old party girl self.