Thursday, June 25, 2009

An Open Letter To Diva

Dear Diva,

What’s wrong??? Why have you been so emotional lately. Is it cause it’s that time of the month? Or is it the fact you are pushing 30? Maybe it’s cause you still haven’t had the big O yet, and you’ve secretly been going on pornhub.com. You haven’t returned text messages. You push ignore on incoming calls. Maybe you need a break and a really good f**k. Remember when you went to Jamaica, and you came back refreshed & rejuvenated??? Those were some good times. You said you were going to go to the toy store. Maybe you should really invest in that rabbit. Or maybe you are immune to the vanilla vodka & lime juice cocktails now. Maybe you should upgrade to scotch Johnny Walker Blue Label? Maybe you should get some stuff off your chest, you know tell Brian how you feel then tell him to fuck off, literally. Or tell Mr. Henry that you’re tired of him, and he’s in the box with PATT.

Maybe you should return PATT’s text from last night. You know the one you deleted, where she asked you what you were doing? You should have said something, no? Maybe you need a vacation...wait we’re in a recession. I take that back. Well maybe you should go out tonight and hang hard. Like back in the college days hard, shots on the bar, dropping it like it’s hot, making out...then call in sick in the morning. Can’t wait till you get back to your old party girl self.

Love,

Diva

13 comments:

True2me said...

i plan on bumming dranks tonite ..lol shoo...after my 3 disappointments this week...I need a drank

and Diva..whenever you feel like doing all that stuff in your letter DO IT..you gotta live for YOU...(as if you dont know that)

and I personally think you should get that rabbit, tell brian how you feel really, and tell mr. henry to kick rocks

True2me said...

oh and there is a generic rabbit for about 39.95. The original cost 75 dollars (maybe more)

ummm..I had broke mine...I may be buying a new one myself

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

LOL @ you breaking your rabbit. I think I might escape to the beach next week

mr. nichols said...

the beach sounds like a good idea diva. it's a free vacation, a chance to be outside, soaking up the sun. yes, that sounds like the remedy.

Tunde said...

i'm so slow. at first i'm like who the hell is carrying diva like this. then i read the signature. lol.

scotch. i tried it. not really a fan. i think i'll stick to what i know best (and has never failed me). good ole vodka.

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

Tunde, you crack me up. I was in a funk earlier when I wrote it, but I'm happy now!!! The weather is banging (so nice, tomorrow is Friday, so that means today my weekend starts!

(what is carrying)

Maybe Tequila then???

True2me said...

My weekend starting tonite too...told him that Im going out cause i like to and im not going to stop

oh well..probably wont have a bf after this..but i NEED to be happy

have fun girlie

JaG said...

ok henry gotta go... Brian needs to know... and go get a glass of wine and listen to maxwell's submerge

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

LOL @ Jag... Maxwell was on repeat last night...Pretty Wings & All, Now tonight, I'll be walking into the club to Mos Def Playing in My Head!!!

Welcome Jag!

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

Thanks True, & too, justlet go & don't worry about nothin'. Good luck on the BF thing... if it's meant to be it will be, if not, it's a lesson learned, and something that will add to your journey on being the woman you're supposed to be...

I'm takin shots tonight!

See you guys

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

ooops I meant "you too" (on having fun)

Tunde said...

dc, you've been in dc long enough to know what "carry" means. lol. its dmv slang for "to play someone". lol

Purple Pisces said...

I love pornhub!! LOL
and I'm mad late reading your blog,but am liking it.